[Photo credit: Getty Images]

· "David Fincher and screenwriter Eric Roth (Forrest Gump) have delivered an historic achievement, a masterful piece of cinema, and a moving treatise on death, loss, loneliness and love. As the movie proceeds, and Brad Pitt as Button ages backwards, we know where he is headed: it's where we are all going. But he feels he has to go there by himself, without his loved ones. And nobody wants to die alone." — Anne Thompson, Variety

· "Perhaps it’s my youthful cynicism, who knows, but I thought Fincher brought an arm’s length approach to the emotions in the film and I wanted Roth’s reaction to that. Of course, Roth doesn’t particularly agree with my take. Indeed, he was right in the middle of telling me how the bathroom was filled with sobbers after the screening when a beautiful young lady walked up to us and told him how much the movie had affected her. But he took my comment in stride. 'Fincher is the kind of director that brings you right up to the point of sentiment and then brings it back,' he said. 'There’s something to be said for that I think.' " — Kris Tapley, InContention

· "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button represents a richly satisfying serving of deep-dish Hollywood storytelling. [...] Much of the film's romantic and philosophical posture hinges on Benjamin and Daisy getting together at the right time, and they do so in an entirely satisfying way; by the time of consummation, with Brad Pitt now in full physical glory and Blanchett at her womanly peak, they — and the audience — are more than ready for it. [...] In all his physical manifestations, Benjamin is a reactor, not a perpetrator, and Pitt inhabits the role genially, gently and sympathetically. [Cate] Blanchett's Daisy is the more volatile and moody one and, after bluntly revealing the selfish impetuousness of Daisy's youthful self, the thesp fully registers both the passion and insecurity of the mature woman." — Todd McCarthy, Variety

· "[T]his is a film that works on every level. [...] I didn’t think that Fincher could pull off something overly sentimental. I thought it would be a few steps removed and all about the effects and the gimmick. It turns out, though, that this film is about the human experience. It’s about, as Roth and Fincher said, the people who make dents in you, who impact your life. Most of those who teach Benjamin about life are women, older women who have the benefit of wisdom. His life is shaped by them, which is probably the reason I fell so hard for the film. Too often women get the short shrift in films. They aren’t given the credit they’re due as whole human beings. I was touched by the female presence in this film, quite moved by it, I must say." — Sasha Stone, Awards Daily

· "Watching Benjamin Button, occasionally I actively loathed it, but mostly I just felt genuinely disappointed that it seemed so lacking in genuine feeling. [...] Button is the opposite of Pitt’s last Oscar hopeful in that respect: The Assassination of Jesse James was a film in which every frame seemed to invite contemplation. Benjamin Button is a film in which every cut seems designed to block thought. Maybe the earlier film’s failure says it all about the philosophy behind Button’s construction: for audiences and Oscar voters, thinking is bad. Spoon-fed artifice is good." — Karina Longworth, Spout

The buxom blonde and PETA mouthpiece has sent an angry letter to [Giorgio] Armani's best buddy Blanchett over the designer's use of fur in his clothing collections.

In the letter sent this week, the animal advocate wrote that while the Aussie actress was at Armani's shows and the launch of his new boutique in Milan, she was nearby in Lake Garda hosting a PETA benefit, which raised $50,000 for an upcoming campaign urging people to shun Armani until he makes good on his public promise to stop using fur.

"Cate, as you are such a huge part of Armani's publicity machine, would you please urge him to keep his promise and leave fur out of his future collections?" Anderson wrote.

The animal rights group claims that Armani's winter collection, going into stores now, includes fox and rabbit fur in some pieces.

Armani issued a statement saying he'd be happy to stop using any sort of fur besides rabbit (perhaps he's aware of a sudden surplus?); however, Blanchett has so far stayed mum. Still, we'd advise Pam to watch her back, as Blanchett can always call upon her I'm Not There-honed powers of impersonation to get close enough to the Baywatch star for revenge. Pam, next time you find yourself falling for a tattooed, douchebaggy rock and roller, check to see that he truly has a VD-ridden package just to be certain it's not Blanchett in disguise.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Pamela Anderson at war with Cate Blanchett [News.Com.Au]

What follows contains numerous spoilers, though not much that isn't distinguishable from the trailer or the word-of-mouth teeming around the Web this morning. In any case, if you want a virginal Indy experience when the film opens Thursday, we'd recommend skipping to the next item right about now. Or join in the fray as our wounded critical minds clear the air and let the healing begin.

STV: I'm reading a few OK reviews here and there.
SA: I did that too.
STV: I don't get it; that movie was not good.
SA: No. Bad. A.O. Scott said he was bored. The opening was the most engaging part, but still not great
STV: It was engaging-ish.
SA: The whole movie felt tone-deaf.
STV: But where Raiders was a throwback to the serials of yore, this was a throwback to Raiders and as such was both parodic and, yes, tone-deaf.
SA: The rambling exposition was ridiculous.
STV: SPOILER ALERT! Shia LeBeouf is his son! SHOCKER!
SA: There were no surprises, and I don't understand the plot.
STV: OK, so: Some Russians break into Area 51 with Indy and pal Ray Winstone as their hostages. They want something in the hangar there, but it's a bombing range. That sets up a nuclear bomb point that goes... poorly.
SA: Well, we return to the massive warehouse that ends Raiders. So instantly the reference is made: This is vintage Indy.
STV: OMG there's the Ark! I wish the Russians had stolen that.
SA: Yeah, me too. So the mean Russian lady cuts open the tinfoil-wrapped alien baked potato —
STV: The heavily magnetized tinfoil-wrapped alien baked potato!
SA: That only starts pulling metal towards it when Indy arrives. Action sequence, mushroom cloud.
STV: Indy escapes unharmed, but the Feds suspect him now because he aided the Russians. He gets sent out on a leave of absence from university! Blacklisted! Jim Broadbent shows up, does dignified Jim Broadbent shit: Drinks, has an accent.
SA: Indy addresses a series of framed 8x10s of actors who refused to sign on for the sequels and/or died. He boards a train — destination: unknown. Or can't recall.
STV: Here comes Shia La Brando.
SA: His hog is his steed.
STV: Who just happens to find Indy on a moving train — from the platform. They go have a burger and Cokes at the New Haven diner where the KGB also hangs out after lower-division biology class.
SA: Indiana explains the legend of the crystal skulls, but we miss it because were too preoccupied monitoring the table behind him and how they deal with the "Shia Rewetting His Comb In Their Glass of Coke" problem.
STV: Shia: "Ugh, this is Diet! Fuck!" Anyway, they fight off the KGB. A chase ensues. They lay waste to Yale, go biking through the library. Next stop Peru!
SA: Yes! The Redline Express to savage countries guarded by a loincloth-clad, brown-peopled nation.
STV: And there's Ray Winstone again, who betrayed Indy early on by selling out to the Russians.
SA: Do they find the skull at this point? Or fend off Russians?
STV: They find the skull, then are caught and taken to a Russian fairgrounds/labor camp deep in the Peruvian jungle, where comrades dance, Marion's being held hostage and Cate Blanchett digs out her Roswell space alien. The skull has mental powers — she wants to brainwash the world.
SA: Finally, we have some idea what this movie is about. Indy is in arm restraints and goes face to face with the crystal skull. This is no ordinary quartz skull that looks like an alien head! The skull hurts his brain!
STV: And mine! Anyway, they are reunited and they escape with Shia and John Hurt, who does an hour or so of crazy-man schtick. Quicksand, snakes... Fuck it, jump ahead 30 minutes.
SA: So they escape again with the skull. Are they in Incaland yet? Does all this take place in Peru, or are they in Mexico?
STV: Your guess is as good as mine.
SA: They arrive at a Mayan temple only accessible by removing stone chads. Suddenly! 50,000 dancing chihuahuas appear! Then they are certain this place has significance.
STV: I can't keep going. The end!
SA: Shia didn't need to be in this movie; nor did john hurt. WTF was that?
STV: Shia is the future of the franchise.
SA: The whole skull thing — carrying around a Lucite skull that seems to have 1,000 purposes? Repels ants! Scares savages!
STV: The ants were horrifying.
SA: That was at least, like, something to watch.
STV: SPOILER ALERT! Those fucking ants pulled that big Russian dude INTO AN ANTHOLE AND ATE HIM.
SA: That was cool; it at least had some bite. And did you notice how Indy doesnt put up a fight? He just keeps answering every question that she asked him. Right from the first scene! 'Where is it?' 'Well, it's over here!' Or, 'See theres this legend that goes...' I mean, what happened to spitting in their faces and saying, "Never!"
STV: Yeah, fuck that.
SA: I want the old Indy.
STV: I want the Indy who steals artifacts, destroys everything in sight.
SA: It felt like Invasion of the Indy Snatchers. And the end was a mess. I have no idea what the fuck that was nor did I care.
STV: I mean, that whole alien subplot was literally laughable.
SA: What about the triple waterfall sequence? I could hear an audible groan. I mean, if you're going to just have a car tumble down three waterfalls like a pachinko machine, don't warn us ahead of time
STV: But I love, love, love that long shot of the valley below them collapsing and the spaceship flying up. Storywise, it was absurd, but the shot was fantastic.
SA: I got angry when I saw the spaceship. I felt they ruined the franchise by making it so sci-fi
STV: Maybe so. But technically speaking, it was really well-done. But then there were the monkeys.
SA: Oh yeah. Shia turns into Tarzan. They really lost their minds, kind of.
STV: Shia as Marlon Brando as George of the Jungle. I'll take at least two more installments of that.
SA: What about the cactus-LaBeouf-cockballtorture sequence?
STV: Cactus is an interesting plant variant in the jungle.
SA: Indiana Jones and the Ow LaBeouf's Balls.
STV: And poor John Hurt!
SA: I wonder what he thought when he read the script: "He caresses the crystal skull again and mutters an unintelligible phrase."
STV: His character's name is "OX." Better than "THE ELEPHANT MAN," I guess
SA: The audience was mostly dead silent for the movie. There wasn't one moment when you felt joy. I mean, there's a few stunt sequences that were well-done. That first five minutes, I liked.
STV: The drag race was a good tone-setter.
SA: Oh! Get this: our sound was out the first minute of that, which is like an eternity when fanboys are rioting.
STV: Who were those people who came out of nowhere to beat up Indy and Shia with the Parkour action moves and the blowdarts?
SA: Oh, that was killer blowdart skull mask killer pygmies! They were guarding the sound stage!
STV: I think they symbolized the fans who were down on the whole idea of Indy 4 from the start. They kick LeBeouf's ass until Ford, symbolizing Lucas, shows up to blow a poison dart in their mouths.
SA: At least a blow dart was a reference point I got.
STV: And then there's M. Night Spielberg, who must never touch the franchise again. If LeBeouf comes back, as it seems he will, give it to someone else.
SA: My friend asked why he needs to have Transformers and Indy. It's true. How much LaBeouf can one nation swallow?
STV: This movie is gonna make so much money. Paramount is going to win the summer easily.
SA: I mean, my friend liked it. Maybe it was actually a fun summer movie, and we both need attitude readjustments. The problem is that Iron Man opened two weeks ago. If it hadn't, I honestly wouldn't have remembered that a summer movie can be good.
STV: I refuse to accept responsibility for a blockbuster sucking.
SA: Even Transformers seemed more emotionally true. Giant alien robots — something to care about. I wonder if the fanboys will revolt.
STV: This movie's gonna make $400 million next weekend.
SA: How much will it really make?
STV: This is Pirates/Spider-Man territory. If they're counting over Memorial Day, easily $140. Anyway, let's end on a positive note. Man, wasn't Iron Man great?
SA: Get Smart: In theaters soon!

10. Cate Blanchett, who pretty much picked the most stunning maternity dress we've seen since Kate (excuse us! Katie!) decked herself out in Versace and Dolce while carrying the mysteriously conceived Suri.
9. Heidi Klum in Galliano, who managed to make popped collars look glamorous.
8. Katherine Heigl,whose one-strap gown was the most perfect red for a blonde with aggro issues.

7. Amy Adams in Proenza Schouler, whose bustier top made us forget that innocent twang she's perfected in interviews altogether.
6. Calista Flockhart, whose billowy gray and white gown officially erased those OMG SHE'S SO EFFING SKINNY pics of yore from our memory.
5. Cameron Diaz in Dior, who we'll now forgive for that controversial Valentino extravaganza she waltzed through last Oscars in to unsuccessfully make Justin Timberlake regret his dumpage.

4. Jessica Alba, who never really looks bad, but finally figured out a way to tell Hollywood to take her seriously.
3. Kelly Preston in Roberto Cavalli, who we think may have finally turned Johnny T. straight by looking 20 years younger tonight.
2. Keri Russell in Nina Ricci, whose baby weight has disappeared faster than it took to deliver the damn thing.

1. Penelope Cruz:Because of its sheer and utter flawlessness.

Cate Blanchett: Blanchett always stands out (in a good way) when she takes risks and chooses a ballsy costume-y gown in a striking color. Like this voluminous dress she wore doing press for Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which could have come straight out of one of Christian's collections on this season's Project Runway, as opposed to her tendency to pick mannish silhouettes in dreary taupes that wash her out.

Laura Linney: Linney just doesn't look right all femme-d out. With her blonde hair and ginormous grin, it's too Kentucky Derby. What catches our eye is when she takes the femme fatale look up a notch, going for old Hollywood glamour.

Marion Cotillard: Heavy makeup and baggy dresses don't work to Cotillard's advantage; she should stick to that whole sexy French woman thing, and let the silky hair down.

Julie Christie: Like Diane Keaton, Christie is one of those rare actresses who's feminine enough to make a pair of trousers look sexy. When she dips into the girly pool, the effect is a little too Tina Simpson.

Ellen Page: Sure, Ellen's still growing into her style and hasn't quite figured out how to pose, but we can all agree that the Juno star could benefit from dressing up. Those jeans and flannels are straight out of the movie, and she's got a figure to show off in real life.

• OSCARS [Offical Site]

Surely, any distant chances the actress had of drawing a nomination for Elizabeth have been ruined; if the actress has any hope of saving her universally acclaimed performance in I'm Not There from the taint of the poorly timed unveiling of Frankencate, she'd better beg the Weinstein Company's PR team to immediately cover the trades in For Your Consideration ads showing how completely she transformed into a young Bob Dylan in a desperate attempt to push that terrifying monster from the industry's memory.

• To hell, with the truth [Variety]

He said he also planned to position Ms. Blanchett, who plays Mr. Dylan during his "Blonde on Blonde" phase, for an Oscar. (Mr. Bale corresponds to "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan," Mr. Ledger to "John Wesley Harding.")

"I may be jumping the gun," Mr. Weinstein said, "but if Cate Blanchett doesn't get nominated, I'll shoot myself."

Blanchett probably shouldn't take this dramatic declaration of loyalty too literally; after all, once Gwyneth Patlrow failed to earn a nomination for Proof, he somehow found the emotional fortitude to remove the shotgun barrel from his mouth, opting to live and fight Academy members another day. Still, maybe he really means it this time: if Weinstein can't get a former Oscar winner a shot at another trophy by stunt-casting her as one of the most beloved male musicians of a generation, perhaps a self-inflicted gunshot wound would be preferable to admitting he's lost his touch.

[Photo: Weinstein Co via NYT]

• Dylan Movie to Open Like a Rolling Premiere [NY Times]
• Previously: Harvey Weinstein All Broken Up Over 'Proof' Snub [Defamer]

· Even more than the original that inspired it, we blame this video for the loss of David Hasselhoff's visitation rights.
· Also pretty disturbing: This photo of Cate Blanchett.
· Nearly as unappetizing: the French Spider-Man cheeseburger.
· And don't even go there, sez Chloe!
· Now that you mention it: What's up with the ball-gag?

Late yesterday, word surfaced that CAA trained its poaching tractor beams on rivals Endeavor and ICM, extracting Babel director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu and V for Vendetta's James McTeigue, who now are safely floating in animation-suspending glass vats in a sub-basement of their new agency's stronghold until they're attached to huge commission-generating projects. And this morning, THR announces that they've also placed prized client Cate Blanchett in the cast of surefire blockbuster Fourth Installment of the Indiana Jones Adventures—a film helmed, of course, by CAA über-earner Steven Spielberg—a strategic move that that agency hopes gives it enough leverage to threaten to shut down the entire project unless star Harrison Ford agrees to immediately defect from UTA. Once in their greedy grasp, they'll immediately negotiate the aging action star into a lucrative commitment to Indiana Jones 5-12, despite the fact Ford likely won't survive past the eighth sequel.

While this latest round of news concerning CAA's relatively unimpeded march through Hollywood is certainly dispiriting, there is some hope today: We're told that most of the agency is away on a weekend retreat in Ojai, leaving the Death Star defended solely by some call-rolling drones; now is clearly the time for rebel forces to strike, while CAA's leaders are off complacently celebrating their latest victories by gnawing on decadently battered, plump baby legs at infinity-poolside, dreaming of the refreshing full-body money-wrap their bosses have arranged for them later this afternoon.

• CAA signs two film directors [Variety]
• Blanchett on crusade to 'Indiana Jones 4' [THR]

In an interview in Entertainment Weekly's Oct. 30 issue, the 42-year-old actor says he amused himself and his colleagues by yanking up his pants to give himself a wedgie, sticking out his rear and waddling about like a duck. "Throughout the movie, I'd walk around like this," he says.

"You've gotta find things to make you laugh during the shoot," he adds. "Cate (Blanchett) called it the Hungry Bum."

He explains: "When your bum's so hungry it's trying to eat your pants."

Less amused than Blanchett at Pitt's high-waisted antics was Angelina Jolie, who, upon being introduced to Pitt's "Hungry Bum" for the first time, sat stone-faced for several moments before delivering an earnest and impassioned lecture on how the two of them should be spending less time clowning around, and more time starting a foundation to help ensure no other bums go hungry ever again.

• Brad Pitt a Wedgie Jokester on Set [AP]