The man in question is Phoenix's Two Lovers director, James Gray, who we once sympathized with—after all, the film's publicity tour has become a circus of late adopters who just watched Letterman and don't realize that this rapping enterprise is so hoaxy, it could have been brainstormed in a committee made of Rosie Ruiz, the Nigerian email scammers, and the Backwards "B" Girl.

Now, though, Gray is telling ABC about fears that he set off Phoenix's "rap career" by asking him to freestyle poorly in Two Lovers:

"That rap thing ... in the movie actually comes from something I played for him," Gray said. "I had an obsession with doing that sort of thing as a teenager. ... It turns out that Joaquin is imitating me in a lot of the movie. He said, 'I want to do that, I want to steal from that, I want to do the rap that you used to do.' I said, 'OK.'

"And now I'm seeing him do this thing, and I feel like I've ruined Joaquin Phoenix for the world," Gray added. "I don't want to be the guy that destroyed Joaquin Phoenix's acting career." [...]

Gray saw Phoenix Wednesday night, after the star taped his appearance on "The Late Show," but before it aired. Gray asked how the interview went.

"He said 'Oh it was good, it was really good," Gray said. "I watched it this morning ... I don't know what to say."

How about: made up, made up, it was made up, it was made up. But at least he'll get an US Weekly cover sidebar out of it!

• Director: I Feel I Ruined Joaquin Phoenix [ABC]

· You thought he dead, but he no dead. The Bachelor rides again.
· Lady in the red dress, you can leave now. Hugh and Oscar would like to be alone.
· A pair of bored-looking black cats wearing F.E.A.R. 2 tanktops will be striking that very thing into the hearts of Londoners this Friday the 13th.
· Here you are, America: A pretty reliable leaked list of your Idol Top 36. We seriously cannot believe Charles Nelson Reilly made it. Judy Garland made it, too! Ugh.
· Uh, who the hell was shooting Casey Affleck stripping at airport security, and why does that make us fear for our own safety?

Phoenix's poor, poor publicist reminded him that he still has one more completed movie to go out there and sell (James Gray's Two Lovers), and so Phoenix has embarked on a press tour that, like his clearly fake rap career, is being filmed by Casey Affleck. Naturally, reporters have about zero interest in Two Lovers and are peppering Phoenix with questions about another cinematic achievement: the video of his terrible, faaaake rap debut in Vegas that was met with rolled eyes from an ahead-of-the-joke internet populace.

"I don't know where that [criticism] comes from," Phoenix said. "If it comes from people that I've had a falling out with, that are (ticked) off at me?" [...]

"There's not a hoax," Phoenix said. "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention." [...]

"It sucks that, yeah, the footage is out there as like this incredibly bad sound, and you literally can't hear what's happening," said Phoenix, who still has his bushy beard. "It was much better in the club, and I don't know who said that people were booing ... because that was not happening.

"Unless, of course, it's a pretty big place, and maybe it was happening," Phoenix added, laughing. "But it was not my experience. My experience afterward was I had a lot of dudes come up and say, `We really respect you for doing it, putting yourself out there, and going with it.' Because I think true hip-hop heads know that it's hard, it's going to be a hard transition, and people are going to be lining up just to make fun of me."

At this point, we're becoming perversely curious to see Affleck's finished film—now that even Phoenix can't make it through an interview without laughing (and yet insists on perpetuating this hoax), his cinematic attempt to lampoon self-involved "pompous actors" takes on new, unintended meaning.

• Joaquin Phoenix Defends Rap Career, Denies Hoax [HuffPo]

Following his widely panned three-song debut as a rapper at a Las Vegas nightclub on Jan. 16 — a shambling performance that concluded with the actor falling off the stage — two competing theories emerged: Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an assist from his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck, who's ostensibly shooting a documentary about his career transition), or he's truly lost his marbles. The truth, it seems, is closer to the former. "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,'" says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.

Though Phoenix's interest in music is sincere (he earned Oscar and Grammy nominations for his turn as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line and has directed several music videos), with this supposed career reboot he is evidently trying to both lampoon pompous actors and punk the media that covers them. Whatever his motivation or ultimate endgame, don't expect him to break character anytime soon. "It's an art project for him," says a source. "He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control."

Here's the thing, though: can the media that covers Phoenix really be lampooned when they're already calling bullshit on him? And wouldn't the real "pompous actors" be the ones who, like Phoenix, think this vanity project/mockumentary is worth doing anyway? In that sense, then, by lampooning him on a regular basis, perhaps we've come the closest to Phoenix's actual intent. Joaquin, we will accept a "story by" credit under our pen name, D. Famer. As for compensation, please just stop.

• Joaquin Phoenix's rap career: An elaborate hoax? [EW]

Not only do we have video footage of Phoenix's victorious post-rap aftermath (bouncing up and down and falling off the stage in what may have been a Pogo Ball accident gone wrong), but Gatecrasher brings word that concertgoers were treated to far more of Phoenix's nether regions than they'd anticipated thanks to an eye-level wardrobe malfunction. Page Six has its own backstage account, which details a feud that erupted when the faux shenanigans were in danger of delay:

"He was waiting for Casey Affleck" - who's directing a documentary about Phoenix's venture - "and when the film crew arrived late, Joaquin flipped out," said our insider. The spy said Phoenix yelled at the crew, "Thanks for being late and [bleep]ing everything up." He then threw a CD on the floor and stormed out. "He came back five minutes later and did the sound check," said the source, who added, "Nobody can tell if he is for real or if this is all a big joke."

Oh really?

• PHOENIX FLIP-OUT [Page Six]

• At hubby's 'Spread,' Demi Moore plays Ashton Kutcher-Kutcher-koo [Gatecrasher]

First of all, some background: as we know all too well at this point, Joaquin Phoenix has grown out a beard and is pursuing a stunty fake career as a rap singer for what is clearly, clearly a mockumentary directed by Casey Affleck.

Also, your associate editor was inebriated at the party where he snapped this picture.

Anyway, let's try to figure this thing out.

REASONS WHY IT COULD BE JOAQUIN PHOENIX:

· Phoenix had a high-profile rap performance in Vegas on Friday (pictured at left). That's close enough to Park City!

· The beard growth is about the same on both d-bags. The blond wig on the Sundance d-bag (which threw us off) is clearly fake.

· Seriously, the Sundance idiot was so douchey that he approached self-parody (which is apparently Joaquin's new vocation). He was dancing like a loon and had oven mitts on his hands, for God's sake.

· The build (including the slightly bulging tummy) is about the same.

REASONS WHY IT MAY NOT BE JOAQUIN PHOENIX:

· It was at the Queer Lounge kickoff party? Which is not to say that New, Awful Joaquin is gay-unfriendly (though he is a rapper now), or that he's unaware of the fact that gays throw the best parties. But still, something to note.

· The Queer Lounge people we've talked to don't know a thing about it. Casey Affleck wasn't there and neither were any cameras (as far as we could tell).

· Though we're currently well-insulated in a Sundance bubble, we haven't heard any other news reports that place Joaquin at the festival.

· Actual Joaquin appears to have a more sizable soul patch and different nose (though the angle and iPhone camera could account for the differences).

THE VERDICT:

Hollywood is filled with douchebags.

Casey Affleck will track the musical career of Joaquin Phoenix behind the lens of a camera.

Affleck is directing a documentary feature on Phoenix, his friend and fellow actor who last spring decided to swap the thespian business for a musical one.

Phoenix is embarking on a new path as a rapper, with an album to be produced by Sean Combs. He is scheduled to make his first public performance Friday at a Las Vegas club, which will officially kick off Affleck's shoot.

Ok, first of all, we know that's inaccurate: Phoenix debuted his new career at the Funkmosphere in Culver City almost two months ago, and Affleck was taping him at the time (we've got pictures!). Second of all, Diddy? No. This is a ruse, Hollywood! Even worse: it's a mockumentary! The only thing more played out than that genre is...well, actors releasing albums.

• Casey Affleck helming Joaquin Phoenix doc [THR]

Joaquin Phoenix showed up at Dam-Funk's Culver City hot spot Funkmosphere on Monday night to debut his rap career, along with your boy Casey Affleck who was filming the chaos.

Dam-Funk's Funkmosphere at Carbon was titled L.A.s “Best Boogie Funk” recently by LA Weekly.

"Rap career"? Uh, sure. And how convenient that Casey Affleck would just happen to be present again, after witnessing Phoenix's red carpet breakdown. Check out his knowing smile while taping this mockumentary:

Joaquin Phoenix, j'accuse! Sure, films like Ladder 49 and The Village were egregious. But, faking the funk (and faking out the Funkmosphere)? This, we simply cannot support.

• Joaquin Phoenix (dressed like The Dude) debuts rap career at Dam-Funk's Funkmosphere [Stones Throw]

Phoenix is certainly no stranger to red carpet shenanigans (as his best buddy, Follicle Frog, will affirm) but the incident seems less like a joke (despite a nearby, hilariously deadpan Casey Affleck) and more like a Ray-Bans-clad cry for help. "Nommmf deadserious," Phoenix insists in the video, and his rep's awkward "That is what he told me" confirmation leads us to believe that Phoenix really is going through with his plans to ditch acting for a career in music. We didn't like Reservation Road much either, Joaquin, but we can't say we're looking forward to the alternative.

• Joaquin Phoenix Calls It a Career? [E!]

In today's installment: Lindsay Lohan (twice!), Katherine Heigl, Al Pacino, Adrian Grenier, Nicole Richie, Casey Affleck, Elijah Wood (with Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly), Eric Stoltz, Mario Lopez, Bryce Dallas Howard, Samantha Ronson, Larry King, Audina Patridge, Tommy Lee and Ludacris, Bradley Cooper, Clea Duvall, Ian Ziering and Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons.

FRIDAY, MAY 9
· Friday night I make a quick run into Toast for one of their yummy cupcakes. While I'm waiting, I look over and see uber hottie Bradley Cooper laying back on the couch. Sporting that sexy scruff and a shirt unbuttoned enough to get a shot of his nice chest. My gay porn fantasy come true! Oh...he was with some unrecognizable chick.
· Saw Casey Affleck, Summer Phoenix and two young kids dining with Clea Duvall, an unknown male and another small kid at Mexico City in Los Feliz. Nobody seemed to pay much attention but I was transfixed. Summer Phoenix sat facing the whole restaurant holding a small child. Her eyes are huge and she is a people watcher. Casey was very quiet and paid attention only to his small, hyper son.
· Lindsay Lohan walking into the Vista Theater in Silver Lake at 12 noon for a video shoot for the Make A Wish Foundation. The papanazis were right behind in minivans and SUV's, peeling into an alley one after the other like NASCAR drivers on meth (or Danica Patrick on a pit stop.) Hard to say who's more dangerous behind the wheel, Lindsay or these duds. I mean, dudes. No I don't.

SATURDAY, MAY 10
· At the Southern California Renaissance Faire I saw Tommy Lee and Ludacris filming an episode for their show Battleground Earth. They were supposedly learning how to make paper. Both were wearing extravagantly feathered 3 Musketeers hats.
· I saw Lindsay Lohan with Sam Ronson at the Beachwood Market; they were shopping for a lot of groceries (including toilet paper, cause everyone shits), but NO BOOZE.
· Al Pacino shops at Target (at the mall in Hollywood). Saw him in the toy section with some little kid (son? grandson?). He was in that all in black, oversized blazer, baggy pants look, and my girlfriend thought he was Richard Lewis.
· Katherine Heigl exits the Say Cheese in Silverlake at Hyperion and Monon and the paparazzi swarm around her making a huge scene. Katherine looks great and handles it well but it looks annoying as F**k. These paparazzi look like total scum and K.H. is soooo boooooring anyway. The whole situation is bizarre but for some reason people like seeing people in movies walk in and out of stores.
· After suffering through the stank of dog urine at Runyon Canyon, my friends and I are blinded by the site of some chick with ginormous boobs. They were so distracting that we almost missed that she was with none other than Steve Sanders himself - Ian Ziering.
· I have never felt uglier sending a sighting in than i do right now. Saturday evening @ the gelson's in calabasas, I saw Jeffrey Tambor buying a travel-sized saline solution and a single fleet enema. Hey now!

TUESDAY, MAY 13
· I saw Diedrich Bader and Jamie Kennedy at Mozza. Damn, that place is tasty.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14
· I spotted hobbits Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan (with girlfriend Evangeline Lilly in tow) checking out singer/songwriter Matt Miller's set at King's Road Cafe. Unfortunately, there was no cover of Leonard Nimoy's 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins', but that would've been amazing.

THURSDAY, MAY 15
· Rode the elevator with Beyonce and her security guy at Jay-Z's Roc The Mic Studios on 27th street about 5 mins ago. Very pretty -not noticeably pregnant. Also, the asshole security guard blocked her off from just me like she was royalty.

SUNDAY, MAY 18
· The opening of Two Unrelated Plays by David Mamet at the Kirk Douglas was the place to be for random celeb (ok, generous) sightings on a Sunday afternoon. Felicity Huffman, Eric Stoltz, Tate Donovan, Joe Mantegna, Kate Burton, Julianne Phillips, and Ricky Jay were all present and accounted for.
· Bryce Dallas Howard with baby and a companion (not sure if it was husband Seth Gabel or not, but I'm kicking myself for not paying attention to a potential Jeremy Darling sighting!) leaving Whole Foods at Fairfax & Santa Monica.

MONDAY, MAY 19
· Mario Lopez at T-Mobile Store at One Embarcadero Center in San Francisco. With a mustachioed handler. Tight green shirt (showed off the guns), woven leather belt and jeans. Didn't really believe it was him until one of the (male) cashiers asked him for a cell phone photo, which he gave graciously. As soon as he left the store, all three male cashiers huddled over the cell phone photo and discussed Saved By The Bell episodes.
· Mickey Gubitosi AKA Robert Blake at the Pinkberry looking happy, healthy and enjoying the goodness that is Crackberry. Looks like he has been hitting the gym. It's nice to him happy again. [Ed Note — Um, we guess?]

TUESDAY, MAY 20
· Saw the ESPN Sports Guy (Bill Simmons) eating a fancy lunch at Campanile with the Sports Gal (wife), kid, and what looked like either his or his wife's mom (5/20). This sighting probably means nothing to 90% of Defamer readers but for us heterosexual males in our 30s it's a big deal.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21
· Saw Adrian Grenier at the El Rey at the sold-out Kills show. His appearance in the crowd triggered several conversations around me that went exactly like this: "Do you watch Entourage?" "Eeeeeehhhhhhhhyeeeeah, well, I used to...then I totally got sick of it."

THURSDAY, MAY 22
· Saw Nicole Richie at Katsu-Ya in Studio City. She was teeny tiny, wearing a dirty white hoodie (that was too big) with leggings and had her hood up most of the time. Sorry Nicole, there's no mistaking that mug! She waited for a long time for a table and finally settled down at the sushi bar. She was with a nondescript female and was not approached by anyone. She was a bit boring, but my friends visiting from New York got the celeb sighting they were hoping for!
· Thurs. 5/22. Saw Paula Poundstone at the Coffee Bean in the lobby of the CAA building asking the barista if he wanted an extra ticket to an LA Sparks game.

FRIDAY, MAY 23
· Wee little Christian Siriano spotted in West Hollywood last night- giving out hugs to fans on San Vicente and Santa Monica, wearing a black beanie, black trench coat, black skinny jeans and silver reflective high top sneakers (possibly Nikes?). Fierce!
· Was walking out of Indy 4 at the Arclight Hollywood and saw Jacinda Barrett having a chat with 2 guys. White long sleeve shirt under a black short sleeve one and super skinny jeans. So skinny in fact I almost bought her a pesto sausage from the snack bar.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
· Saw Audina Patridge around 6:30PM at the Happy Nail salon at West Hollywood Gateway center. The salon madame was clearly impressed with her walk-in client, who arrived with a friend girl. Since I was with my only friend who gives a shit about The Hills, Defamer has the privilege of being my "OMG, guess who I just saw" email.

SUNDAY, MAY 25
· Oh. My. God. F-List reality night at Barney's Beanery (WeHo branch on Santa Monica Blvd.) on Sunday night for karaoke. First of all, some dude is singing Kiss by Prince and surprisingly hitting all the notes, and it turns out to be that black trainer with the dreads from Work Out on Bravo. Not a bad singer! THEN. I am talking to a group of people who include these two tall identical blond dudes. Today whilst trolling the blogs I see one of them in the teaser for the new VH1 show I Love Money, and I realize that he was Mr. Boston from I Love New York. He has an identical twin. They are both kind of dorky and awkward.
· Wandering in and out between the parked cars in the 700 block of Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills Sunday morning: Larry King. Note to Larry — those speeding metal chariots will hurt you. Use your phone on the sidewalk.

In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!

SUNDAY, APRIL 20
· Saw Jay Leno getting out of his ride at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach before his weekly appearance there every Sunday evening. Practically side-swiped the driver next to me while gawking at Jay's car. Didn't get the make and model but I can confirm that it looked very silver, very fast and very expensive.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25
· Spotted Marlee Matlin and her Dancing With the Stars partner (?) at the valet at Forever 21. Can't figure why they were there together as I heard they were voted off the show earlier in the week. Don't ask how I know that. Anyway, she is tiny and he..... not so tall. She drove them away in a huge gas quaffing SUV.
· Yesterday saw John Ennis (Mr. Show and Walk Hard) at the Nature Mart in Los Feliz.
· Saw Perry from Make Me A Supermodel at Vons at Sunset/Virgil @ 7pm. Tall, thin, wearing a wifebeater and looking FINE. With some dressed down chick, not sure if it was his gf. She manned the cart of course, Perry was too busy struttin'.
· I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter (and wife) 4am Friday at LAX. Dog was wearing an American Flag windbreaker.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26
· I had dinner at El Compadre tonight, where I waited for our table next to Ms. Jay from ANTM. Then, I went with some friends to the Sly & the Family Stone concert at the House of Blues. We found a good spot near the stage, and I turned around to see Daryl Hannah. She was with a younger couple, and really beautiful - laid back - in person. She was sporting a Marvin Gaye T-shirt and a belt made out of the pop-tops from soda cans...
· First, on Continental #65 from Newark to LAX on Saturday, Cheryl Hines was in first class. Very hot and very tiny in person, also very polite and low-key. She even walked to the parking garage with the car service driver from baggage claim.
· Was hanging out at my favorite Saturday night spot, Britannia Pub in Santa Monica, for karaoke (technically, Starraoke™) when we got word that none other than our childhood hero, Davy Jones, was at a table in the back. (Attention youngsters, I'm talking about the singer from The Monkees, not the character from Pirates of the Caribbean.) A quick trip to the ladies' room confirmed it, so one of my friends signed up for "Daydream Believer" in his honor. No more than a bar of music went by when Davy came bounding up from the back room, grabbed my friend and the mike and proceeded to perform the whole song with her, with the whole bar singing along (when they weren't snapping pics with their cameraphones). Mark it down as one of my favorite LA moments so far.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27
· Then, Sunday afternoon at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, bumped into Casey Affleck quickly making his way out of the crowd of hipsters. A couple hours later, saw Jonathan Togo (CSI Miami) at the WeHo Whole Foods, also moving through the store very quickly.
· While attending the Indian Film festival at the Arclight, I sat about three seats away from Nancy Kwan, who only looked about ten years older then she did in The World of Suzy Wong. On the way home I saw Robert Culp (I Spy) buying bananas. He's ambulatory and buying produce on his own at 10pm on a Sunday, which is pretty good for pushing 80.

MONDAY, APRIL 28
· Last night after the She & Him show (awesome!) at the Vista — Adam Brody having Amstel Lights at the Good Luck Bar, with a mystery blond that kinda looked like Arielle Kebbel, but I don't think it was her and shouldn't start rumors... or did I just do that?

TUESDAY, APRIL 29
· I spotted Chris O'Donnell by a Delta baggagae carousel at LAX. Navy blazer/jeans. Very preppy. Flew in from Atlanta. Such potential that one...
· Today was the highlight of my week, no make that my month. Saw Kiefer on Ventura Blvd/Balboa coming out of CHILI MY SOUL. He was clearly in great mood. He posed for pics with a couple of heavy set gals...one even got him to say damm it in to her cell phone. The Kiefer looked awesome, very skinny! Tennis shoes, jeans and blue t-shirt. He left with a pretty brunette who was dressed in of all things blue scrubs. DAMM IT my cell was in the car!
· I went to the Fox Hills Mall in Culver City yesterday for lunch and was blocked from using the newly reopened escalator by JC Penny by a PA with a serious God complex. The escalator was only for actors who were shooting on location. Well, it turns out the actors were Steve Agee (from The Sarah Silverman Program) and Adam Carolla. Carolla was sporting a huge fake Amish beard, Agee looked exactly the same as he does on Sarah Silverman.

THURSDAY, MAY 1
· Was having dinner at Mi Piace in Pasadena on Thursday evening when the crowd parted and I beheld Jerry Springer. How's that for a weird one? He sat with his back to the window on Colorado and ate alone quite peacefully. No chairs were thrown.

FRIDAY, MAY 2
· Near-fatal Goldie Hawn sighting. Driving up to my cousin's place in Pacific Palisades, saw a large group of seeming-hippies communing in the middle of the street. One of them appeared to be holding a baby up in the air, sort of bizarrely baptismal. Get closer, baby-holder is Goldie, hot son Oliver Hudson is next to her, and I think the baby in question is Oliver's. As I drive by, Goldie gives me a big smile and waves hello.

SATURDAY, MAY 3
· Saturday night I saw Romany Malco (Weeds / Baby Mama) with a cute lady friend playing cards at Stir Crazy coffee shop on Melrose.
· In front of Larchmont Wine & Cheese, I spotted a squat Scott Caan — first spotted because he was wearing that hat — was sitting with his dog and a group of dudes that looked as you would expect a bunch of dudes eating with Scott Caan to look. as it goes with these kinds of things, he was shorter than expected.


Later on in the afternoon, was driving down melrose when I see a family crossing the street, complete with an olderish blonde with oversized breasts. My first thought was, "her husband must be a real d-bag." I scan the rest of the family until I see Dee Snider. I immediately feel bad for assuming he would be a d-bag [Ed. Note - Why? I think you hit the nail on the head.] and continue driving, hoping he hadn't heard my inner monologue.

· While trying to see Iron Man at Century City, I see Titan from American Gladiators, who stands about 7 feet tall (plastic coif included) and 3 feet wide.
· During another interminable wait for food at the Griddle Cafe, i see Jim Parsons from the CBS show Big Bang Theory. He had to wait for a table, just like the rest of us civilians, unlike...
Jessica Alba, who walks right in and sits at a booth. Didn't see her body but her face definitely looks fuller. Still looked good. Cash Warren walked in a little later and was appropriately unassuming.

SUNDAY, MAY 4
· Dorito Girl Ali Landry at the Alcove on Hillhurst for a late lunch. With her cute Mexican director husband and adorable baby girl. She's amazingly gorgeous in person, throwing Doritos into washers or whatever it was she did in those commercials did not do her justice.
· Traci Lords at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market this morning, with a friend and adorable baby. Looked very happy and healthy. I had to suppress the urge to say hello and tell her how awesome I think she is.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7
· Walked by Adam Goldberg on Little Santa Monica on Wednesday around lunch time. He was by himself waiting to cross the street. I always thought he was maybe cute but didn't get confirmation until I was standing
right next to him. He was looking cuddle worthy in a black hoody, dark jeans and cool espadrille type Vans.
· I saw Clea Duvall and Zach Quinto at Brently Heilbron's show at Tangier tonight.

THURSDAY, MAY 8
· Spotted a couple celebs in Beverly Hills on Thursday afternoon. Kathy Hilton and not surprisingly
very happy looking Stan Lee were strolling past Jack 'n Jill's. Don't worry, they were not together.

As Letterman's clip gruesomely shows, Rinna not only goofed by congratulating Adams on her Oscar nomination this year (c'mon, even our aunt in Sacramento with no cable knows who was nominated!), but also had no recollection of Amy's nom two years ago for her role in Junebug. Which delightfully reminds us of one of our favorite Defamer clips so far this year, in which Rinna and her shoved-together silicone enhancements cackled along with Casey Affleck on the SAGs carpet. From asking him a very important question regarding what kind of gum he was chewing, to forming her "questions" in the style of "So, I just watched two of your movies, which one do ya think I watched first?", we're left with a teary revolutionary need to form a petition to get Joan back on the air, stat.

• THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [Official Site]

· Following through on its threats to abandon the traditional TV development system, NBC picks up Kath & Kim* straight to series with a six episode order, bypassing the wasteful, "let's see if this actually works when we try and shoot it" pilot phase. (*In fairness, this is a Pre-Proven Foreign Hit, so domestic success is virtually guaranteed.) [Variety]
· Brittany Murphy CareerWatch: the actress signs on for the indie Across the Hall, and is considering a chance to replace thrice-rehabbed insurance nightmare Lindsay Lohan in the troubled Poor Things. [THR]
· Casey Affleck is cast in the yet-to-be-scripted adaptation of Tom Epperson's period noir drama The Kind One, in which he'll play the most adorable (pinch his cheeks! Jump on his face!) amnesiac who makes the mistake of falling in love with a sadistic killer's girlfriend Hollywood has ever seen. [Variety]

Vigorously gnawing on a wad of gum as if it were the only thing preventing him from being sucked into a duck-lipped wormhole and spit out into the black void of Rinna's soul, Affleck only offers the brusquest responses to the TV Guide Channel correspondent's run-on questions. The result is a scene of red carpet carnage so grotesque, traumatized producers were forced to miniaturize the image and shuffle it off to the side, filling the screen instead with the relatively comforting pictures of the first human-hued celebrity they could train their cameras on.

• tvguide.com