Tori maintained that she didn't want a relationship with her mom, and said that if she did, it would be handled privately. Candy Spelling will be on The View next week. She hates handling anything privately, and will surely be talking all about this with the gals. If you haven't check out her website, you really should. It's an amazing display of self-involvement crossed with total lack of self-awareness.

Not everyone gets a prime-time real-estate infomercial courtesy of ABC and hosted by Elizabeth Vargas (left, with Spelling) — but the 56,500-sq. ft. megamegamansion in Los Angeles's Holmby Hills neighborhood is not just any house. Spelling doesn't even know how many bathrooms it has, she told 20/20. Or how many rooms, period. Even her real-estate agent, Sally Forster Jones, doesn't know:

While some published reports put the tally of rooms in the mansion at well past 100, Jones couldn't provide an exact count.

Spelling says she doesn't know either.

"You're really asking the wrong person," Spelling jokes. "There's a lot. (The house) has evolved and I actually haven't gone around and counted."

Spelling also says she hasn't read actress daughter Tori Spelling's memoir because friends told her it was "hurtful." So much for getting a mother-daughter jacket blurb for Stories from Candyland!

Spelling mère has been trying to sell the mansion since her husband's death in 2006 — at first secretly, now quite openly. She needs to move the product off the shelf, having bought a 17,000-sq. ft, $47 million condo in downtown Los Angeles. (Downsizing!) But here's the question: Who's going to take the PR hit of spending nine digits on a house in this age of populist outrage?

Here's a collection of stills from a video tour of the Spelling mansion:

(Photo of Vargas and Spelling by Ron Tom/ABC News)

For some reason, Huffington sees fit to keep granting prime blogging real estate to the wife of Aaron Spelling (best known in her own right for alienating her daughter Tori and demanding a gift-wrapping room in her mansion). First, Spelling got her sea legs by penning an unsolicited, no doubt unread letter to Paris Hilton. This past weekend, on a front page boasting notable names like Cenk Uygar and Robert Reich, Spelling was granted a comfortable berth for her plaintive, empty essay, "Thanksgiving and Then What?" Let's find out what, shall we?

I remember learning in school that America was divided into three classes: the lower, middle and upper class. We all strived to get to the middle class, the signal that we had arrived, fulfilling the American dream.

We don't talk very much about classes any longer, and I don't miss that.

Yes, it's rare to find that kind of talk at the country club! Still, Spelling mentions that this class talk may have been supplanted by this "Two Americas" thing she heard that one presidential candidate say once, the one who cheated on his wife. Maybe that's something worth looking into! Then, Spelling pivots into her next, inscrutable non sequitur.

In California, the maps of the counties that voted for and against Proposition 8 to ban gay marriage was as distinctive as the red and blue states, but most graphic portrayals were in black and white.

Was something lost in her dictation to her loyal maid, Marisol, or is Spelling referring to the Nate Silver-debunked idea that black people were to blame for the passage of Prop 8? No time to find out! Spelling has no more to say on this subject!

The really good America was in full force yesterday. Here in Los Angeles, I saw the wonderful "Father Dollar Bill," the loving name given to Reverend Maurice Chase, who hands out dollar bills (with inflation, now hundred dollars bills sometimes) to homeless and needy people in Downtown L.A. [...] Right nearby are the Skid Row missions and shelters, which serve thousands of healthy Thanksgiving meals to anyone who needs them. The expressions on the faces on the children, senior citizens and everyone else are priceless. It was also encouraging to hear that there were more volunteers than ever before donating their time to prepare and serve the meals.

...Not that she would be caught dead among them, of course. But to hear about it is very swell. Sadly, Spelling has to bum the room out with her closer:

And, then, this morning, on the aptly named Black Friday, the first national story of the day was that an employee at a Walmart in Valley Stream, New York, was, as CNN told me, "trampled by a mob of morning shoppers." There were also reports of shoppers being injured.

I understand political differences. I worship those who donate their time and money to help others. I have no words for the concept of shoppers trampling a store employee and fellow shoppers to make the most of Black Friday.

Apparently not, as the blog ends before Spelling can devote anything more than a recitation of events to probing these issues. Here, though, is a potentially helpful way to make sense of Walmart culture: actually have set foot in a Walmart. Andy Cohen, do you see what you've encouraged?

• Thanksgiving and Then What? [HuffPo]

Open letters are all the rage. Candy Spelling has written several (to Paris Hilton and Joe Frances [sic]) and posted them on TMZ.com. I feel the time has come for Candy, our nation's conscience, to retire to her wrapping room with a bottle of pinot and write one to Amy Fisher.

I was at CBS when the story was white hot...I was assigned the plum Buttafuoco-beat for the morning show and spent quality time in Mary Jo's living room as she showed me x-rays of her head. Later that wonderful Massapequa morning, I stopped to get my driver's license photo taken at a Long Island DMV. I still have the same photo (with early-90's ponytail, oy vey) and I think of Mary Jo fondly every time I whip out my driver's license. I was always on team-Mary Jo. [...]

I actually don't think sicking [sic] Candy Spelling on her is bad enough punishment...Candy, please put pen to paper. Your words might give us strength at our time of need.

It's rare that one feels palpable outrage from the affable Andy, who chooses his battles wisely, such as the time he called for Jessica Simpson's deployment to Iraq, because "she sucks." However, having once donned a ponytail and personally provided early 90s, touchy-feely advice to the innocent victim of the L.I. Lolita scandal ("I want you to reach deep within you, Mary Jo, to find the inner child who wasn't shot in the head at point blank range by her husband's teenage lover, leaving her incapacitated in a wheelchair..."), we can easily see how Andy felt compelled to angrily address the sociopathic famewhores' rekindled romance, by openly nominating Candy Spelling to write something on the topic.

• Open Letter to Amy Fisher [Andy's Blog]

Paris, I'm very worried about you. The last week has not only been an obvious roller-coaster for you emotionally, but your strategy went from blaming employees and stating silly excuses like, "I don't read," to your new lawyer's tactic to have you sound mature and take some responsibility. In between, the paparazzi continue to follow you shopping and taking self-defense classes (to protect yourself in jail?), and some over-zealous friends staged embarrassing protests (three people?), and wasted taxpayer funds with a petition to pardon you. [...]

I am sorry you have been sentenced to jail. I can't think of too much that would be worse. But since you let this happen, use the next couple of weeks preparing not only by publicly learning to fight (not a good message to fellow inmates), but by looking around, realizing that you are not as truly entitled as your money implies. You are a young woman who can add more to her community than establishing new definitions for infamy.

Tough-loving words, no doubt, but Paris would do well to heed them, as Spelling has successfully raised two formidable community activists (only 50% of whom recently waged war with her on a series of Us Weekly covers). And while some may argue that she may have risked diluting her message by choosing the internet's leading drunk-celebrity-asshole surveillance network as the medium by which to broadcast it, we'd argue otherwise: The blossoming TMZ and Candy partnership (she previously weighed in with some insane, hair-related advice for Larry Birkhead) is a universally beneficial arrangement, providing Spelling with an afternoon-killing activity, TMZ with some exclusive content, and the addressee the sage advice of a woman who has just spent the last three decades locked inside a rubber-padded giftwrapping room.

• Candy to Paris — Spoiled Brat, Grow Up! [TMZ]

Liam Aaron McDermott, who was born in a Los Angeles hospital, weighed 6 lbs., 6 oz, according to the couple's rep.

Spelling's mother Candy Spelling was at the hospital. The baby arrived just as the new mother is reconciling with her own mom after a long estrangement.

"Words can't describe the joy and elation I feel at this truly happy event," Candy tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I am looking forward to doting on my new little grandson and all the memorable fun that comes with it."

It's amazing how the introduction of a fragile new life into the world can instantly turn blood feuds into water under the Spelling Estate drawbridge. Now that reconcilation is official, Candy can begin to splurge upon little Liam the same way she once did for Tori, ordering her army of domestics to hand-shave a two-ton block of ice, so that a picturesque backyard snowfall can accompany the bestowing of pricey gifts that she can cruelly take away from the baby should her daughter ever again defy her wishes.

• Breaking: Spelling Heir Currently Crowning At Cedars Sinai! [Defamer]