"He told me later that I had turned him gay . . . by taking codeine again. And I said, 'You know, I never read that warning on the label.' I thought it said 'heavy machinery,' not homosexuality - turns out I could have been driving those tractors all along!' "

Sadly, our first reaction to the allegation — "That's so gay" — has been deemed verboten by Hillary Duff. Instead, then, we wonder whether Lourd's "gay pill" theory could explain all those Tylenol PM sponsorships at gay events: it's all a master plan by the pharmaceutical industry to keep us queer! Diabolical — and fabulous.

• PRINCESS CARRIE SETTLES SCORES [Page Six]

Under stern cross-examination by Pellicano, who was wearing green prison drab and white sneakers, Busch became emotional again.

"I was scared 24/7 for my life," she said. "I didn't know how I was going to survive financially. I thought (the book) would be the way to do it, but I realized it was not the right way. It was a big mistake. After the threats and everything happened to me, I couldn't focus. Because of the wiretap, my sources fell away. I struggled to be a journalist, but I couldn't continue. I couldn't see a future, I saw everything slipping away. I didn't know what I was going to do."

At this point Busch couldn't speak and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. "It was a relentless attack, Mr. Pellicano, as you know."

The judge wasn't having any of that. Nor, alas, will he have any more of Ovitz slithering out of a criminal courtroom; as Allison Hope Weiner noted late Wednesday at The Huffington Post, California's statute of limitations put an end to that hope:

A source close to the case (who didn't want to be identified because they believe that Mr. Ovitz should have been charged) happened to mention that the statute runs out today on any charges in connection with Mr. Ovitz's alleged wiretapping of his enemies (including Ms. Busch). So, the good news for Mr. Ovitz is that unless he committed perjury today during his testimony today, he's in the clear.

However, Busch's civil case against Ovitz still has a future pending the outcome of the Pellicano verdict, and there's always that hovering rumor of CAA's Bryan Lourd and Kevin Huvane laying waste to their former boss with a civil charge of their own. God's spokespeople, meanwhile, declined comment on the status of Ovitz's pending damnation, suggesting the potential civil verdicts would eventually influence the temperature of his eternity. We can hardly wait.

• Busch, Pellicano face off [Variety]
• Ovitz in the Spotlight and in the Clear... [The Huffington Post]

Pellicano himself fed speculation that the CAA partners suspected the shamus of bugging their offices last week when Huvane and Lourd testified at his trial. Acting as his own lawyer, Pellicano asked Huvane if he knew a private investigator named Richard Di Sabatino.

The judge said Huvane didn't have to answer the question. But Di Sabatino is known to specialize in "electronic countermeasures" - detecting evesdropping devices - a service he reportedly provided Nicole Kidman during her divorce from Tom Cruise. Di Sabatino declined comment.

Pellicano's spectacular self-destruction — often accompanied by these gleeful grabs at anyone he can take down with him — are of course their own galactic phenomena; as such, a CAA rep dutifully denied reports that Lourd and Huvane are planning a lawsuit against Ovitz. Still, a well-placed source likes the duo's chances for "invasion of privacy and tortuous interference of business opportunity" if/when Pellicano gets sent away, as if they need an anonymous lawyer to excuse their urge to fire a hot, colorful conflagration into Ovitz's living room. The Death Star waits for no verdict.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• Feud with Ovitz spied [NYDN]