Gawker: defamer, bruce jenner

Brody's Cougar Mom Is On The Prowl

AmyKSays — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:10:00 EDT

We have to admit, we were surprised at how much our hearts ached in the absence of Lauren Conrad - who was sojourning to Italy for some much needed R&R after exhausting her energy crying mascara tears while sparring with Audrina - during the majority of last night's episode of The Hills. But we knew those crafty MTV producers wouldn't leave us hanging, sending entertainment in the form of Linda Thompson, Brody Jenner's mom. You may be more familiar with Brody's dad, Bruce Jenner, a former Olympian who along with his wife, Kris, helm their clan of estrogen-fueled narcissists on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Linda, on the other hand, is a plastic-surgery addled cougar extraordinaire who apparently once dated Elvis Presley. Well, on the show last night during Stephanie Pratt and LC's former flame Doug Reinhardt's maybe-date at hotspot Beso, Linda runs into the couple and eyes the shit out of little Dougie the baseball player's physique. "Are you two on a date? Is that what's happening here?" she asks. "Just wondering!" she shrugs, throwing her hands in the air. We're sure you're just curious, Linda. But this is a woman who scored with The King - so the son of a frozen burrito heir? Ain't no thang. [The Hills]

Vote Or Die: 'Dancing With The Stars' Edition

Douglas Reinhardt — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Boomp3.com

Even though the economy is in shambles and Texans are just starting to recover from the devastating effects of Hurricane Ike over the weekend, there is no force of nature that will keep Kim Kardashian and her family from getting out the word about her upcoming run on Dancing With The Stars. Kris Kardashian-Jenner, the selfless head of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, felt it was very important for her family to get out the message about voting. Mrs. Kardashian-Jenner said, “This is the single most important decision facing the American people right now. We have to keep my darling Kimmy on that show for the next three months. I mean, everybody loves Kim. So, it shouldn’t be a problem, but everybody needs to get out there and vote!”

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

The Top 5 Failed Crossover Attempts by Olympic Stars

STV — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:30:00 EDT

The 2008 Olympics literally have us 19 ways of excited at Defamer HQ, where we've retrofitted our dungeon workspace with one television for each of the NBC channels broadcasting the summer games. But don't get the wrong idea — we couldn't care less about the pole vault or women's rowing. No way. We're talent scouting, babe, in search of the next Olympian to break through the ranks as a Hollywood star. It's kind of a ritual around here, really, going waaayyyy back to the days when our old-media ancestors at the Defamer Star-Courier foretold gold-medalist swimmer Johnny Weissmuller's ascent to fame as Tarzan.

Alas, for every Kristi Yamaguchi who wins Dancing With the Stars, there are a dozen others whose athletic gifts fail to blossom into entertainment careers. Defamer videographer Molly McAleer has dug deep into our archives for a few of the most dramatic missteps and failures, from Bruce Jenner's ill-advised turn in Can't Stop the Music to Mary Lou Retton's less-than-convincing '80s-era battery pitch. May the limits of their championship spirit be a lesson to all those going for the gold in '08. We'll be watching. (Read more coverage of the 2008 Olympic Games.)

5. Bruce Jenner, You Can't Stop The Music

4. Mitch Gaylord, American Anthem

3. Mary Lou Retton, Energizer Commercial

2. Tonya Harding, Celebrity Boxing

1. Carl Lewis, Get My Money

Can't Stop The Jenner

Seth — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:20:39 EDT

· Wearer of the Kardashian pants Bruce Jenner came face-to-face with his gay fanbase on Keeping Up With The Kardashians last night, when a server at The Abbey instantly recognized him as the star of Can't Stop the Music. (Imagine if Steve Guttenberg and The Village People happened to be strolling by at that moment. They could have staged a revival!) [KUWTK]
· Fred Thompson's White House-shot ends with the actor returning to Hollywood and signing with WMA, who'll handle all his TV, theatrical, and unsuccessful presidential bids from now on. [Reuters]
· Beatboxing Idol runner-up Blake Lewis thinks little David Archuleta is "boring." He also thinks David Cook is an arrangement-stealing poser. He basically hates everyone except Chikezie, who he doesn't think will win. And he doesn't watch the show—never has. Yup, that about covers all the Simon-hand-biting he could cram into this one soundbite. [rickery.org via Idolator]
· We didn't catch Make Me A Supermodel this week, but apparently Perry really excelled at the Do Your Best Jared Leto As A Hot Tranny Mess Challenge. [DListed]
· Introducing the Paris Hilton Shoe Collection. All styles available in sizes 11-14, only. [endless.com via ONTD]
· A casting notice for Cillian Murphy/Ellen Page drama Peacock, in which Murphy plays a split-personality husband and wife, features several sides from the script dubbed "fucking brilliant" by Defamer editor-at-large, Mark Lisanti. [pmscasting.com]