Well, apparently try as we might to get on with our lives, the world just can't live without just a little more Aerosmith, not even for a week. Last night the band ended their six day old divorce. During a Perry show at New York's Filmore, Tyler suddenly appeared on stage and announced, according to NME, in a specimen of authentic aging rocker gibberish, so rarely heard in this day and age:

I just want New York to know, I am not leaving Aerosmith," he said, before turning to Perry and stating: "And Joe Perry, you are a man of many colours but I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!"

Tyler then instructed Perry's drummer to play, and the band launched into Aerosmith's 1975 hit 'Walk This Way'. Tyler ended the song with his arm around Perry.

[Via Vulture]

This sad news comes in the middle of the young couple's publicity tour for Paper Heart, the fake documentary about how their real-life (now real-dead) romance came to be. Or perhaps this is just some publicity stunt? Some kind of meta-advertising gimmick affirming Paper Heart's notion that true love is hard to find and hold? In this era of put-ons and fakery (yeah, yeah, we know you may very well be reading this right next to a banner ad for Paper Heart — it's not our call) who can trust anything? Certainly not dating gossip about America's Twee-hearts from an outlet like Star.

Still, the Yi-Cera relationship gave the sweatpants community of geek girls hope that their precious wit and song writing skills were enough to keep a sensitive young man away the dopey taneroxic starlets of Hollywood. So doesn't this news make you want to pout?

What's even more pout-inducing is what else Star's source told the tabloid:

"Charlyne is beyond sad. And the break-up is so much harder because she'll have to see him on tour."

Michael Cera, how could you? We know we gave you guff for being a mopey hipster but if we take it all back will you snuggle back up to Yi?

As a whip-smart commenter pointed out a love-affair with between Yi and Cera would have been like a "gummi bear getting it on with the Velveteen Rabbit." We speculated that a boy with Cera's sexual persona may in fact not have genitals, just a rainbow colored fleshy patch that sparkles when excited. If this is true, which is likely, then could Cera and Yi ever really have dated?

Whether put-on or physical impossibility, both theories leave room for a Cameron Crowe-style reconciliation. Young geeky outsider chooses to go after a popular beauty but discovers she is shallow and small minded thus forcing him to look in his own backyard. There he sees a girl with unwaxed eyebrows, in sweatpants, strumming a guitar and she embodies beauty in her own independent way.

Drinks are on us, Charlyne!

Gibson must have been eager to get things out in the open: the actor says in court papers he has been officially separated from his wife for more than two and a half years. Grigorieva, signed to Gibson's Icon Records, is herself said separated from Dalton. There were already property records tying the two together, and blurry photographs of a jaunt in Costa Rica (tied to Grigorieva in the Russian press), so it's not like the pair were a complete secret from the world.

Still, Gibson apparently has for years kept his split from his wife under wraps. The breakup dates from the weeks just after the star's anti-semitic tirade against Los Angeles sheriff's deputies. Had it been exposed at the time, it might have dealt his image a particularly damaging double blow.

Now that Gibson's wife has forced the matter into the public eye, taking the Grigorieva relationship public is a way for the actor to underline that he has nothing to hide — and that his life is not as lonely as pathetic as you might expect for an alcoholic anti-Semite ditched by his wife.

Luckily for Gibson, his current Oksana was not scared off by that other musician named Oksana who kept saying she had been sleeping with him.

There are three possibilities. There's Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova, who is married and has loudly denied any involvement with Gibson. She was just "entertaining Mr. Gibson with her piano music," if you know what she means, and we think you do.

There's also Oksana Pochepa, a blonde model signed (says Russia Today) to Gibson's Icon music label, who has been loudly confirming involvement with the movie star — perhaps a bit too loudly. She's known as "the Shark," which is delightful.

Then there's theOksana of the moment, Oksana Grigorieva, yet another Soviet musician and mother to actor Timothy Dalton's son. The London-based composer (left, via Rex Features) is reportedly separated from Dalton. Russia's Komsomolskaya Pravda thinks she has to be the woman pictured frolicking with Gibson recently on a Costa Rican beach.

Most importantly, no one has reached her for comment yet, for whatever reason, so she hasn't issued any denials, so for all we know she could be the one.

Assuming she's not, the global celebrity press will go through every last remotely plausible Russian woman named Oksana until either Gibson's reputation for womanizing inflates beyond all reason or the movie star makes some kind of public statement dsaying he wasn't with anyone named "Oksana," ever, so please just shut up.

Then the tabloids will come up with something really off the wall and explosive, like that Gibson's marriage ended over some other big imploding star like, oh, Britney Spears. ( Ha ha, too late.)

So far, the front-runner among his purported mistresses is Russian pop singer Oksana Pochepa, who has been telling the press she's in a "serious" thing with the movie star. From The Sun:

We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too - I know what I want.

There's also some unidentified brunette in Costa Rica Gibson was spotted hugging on the beach. The Mail reports that Gibson's womanizing began spiraling out of control after he filmed Apocalypto in Mexico more than two years ago and was drinking heavily in Veracruz. The tabloid added that his wife, who Gibson once told the New Yorker was "a much better person than I am," got tired of setting him straight.

Maybe Gibson's congregation can pick up the slack. Its members would probably like some sort of explanation for his behavior, too. Especially the ones set to live in the houses his construction company is building "inside the walled grounds."

(Pic via The Sun)

That's what the celebrity media is betting at least. Us Weekly scored the biggest coup in the current news cycle: an on the-record interview with Lohan.

"It's absolute hell," Lohan told Us... Lohan says she's "so alone" without Ronson.

"Everyone's turned on me," says the actress.

Socialite Nicole Richie, Lohan reports, said "Uck" as she walked by Lohan following a Lohan-Ronson showdown at Chateau Marmont, while actress Drea De Matteo told Lohan, "Come at me, bitch." It sounds like there just might be another side to the story there. Anyway.

Us also quoted "sources" saying Lohan has threatened to kill herself repeatedly over the past month in response to Ronson trying to extricate herself from the relationship. The magazine rushed its coverage onto the cover of Wednesday's issue, where it describes Lohan as "Dumped, humiliated, broke & crying."

National Enquirer sibling RadarOnline, meanwhile, has "rehab graduate" Lohan "chugging" a bottle of Belvedere vodka at a Hollywood club with her mom Monday night and implied Lohan maybe lit a joint.

Over at Time Warner, TMZ had Lohan "devastated" over press reports Ronson might seek a restraining order, while People, providing a rare bit of good press of Lohan, later quoted Ronson's attorney saying his client didn't want such a restraining order.

Lohan is in a sad and tragic place, no doubt. Also pretty certain: No media outlet's about to pass up, in the middle of a recession, what's looking like the biggest celebrity meltdown since Britney Spears' mental hospital tour of '08.

Actual, or setup for a joke? It's confirmed, anonymously but by Us Weekly and then People, so probably as real as it gets between two Hollywood celebrities and their dualing phalanxes of "people."

In other words, they waited until after the Oscars. Wouldn't want any "plus one" guest-list awkwardness at the afterparties! (Judging from the Vanity Fair Oscar-party pic above, they both knew the fix was in.)

Hansard and Irglová were 37 and 19, respectively, when "nature took its course" in 2007 during their endless publicity rounds for Once — a journey that had begun auspiciously with their film's world premiere that year at Sundance. We're more than a little sad to imagine their busking days behind them and Irglová angrily rolling her gift piano down a flight of stairs behind a fleeing Hansard, but all great Oscar-soliciting affairs must end somehow. And anyway, this provides for a much more dramatic ending to that planned Broadway adaptation.

• 'Once' Couple Breaks It Off [Vulture]

Strange then, that Lohan would choose not People or Us but Life & Style to issue her exclusive rebuttal (apparently, Pennysaver was not available). "We didn't break up. No," Lindsay is quoted as saying. "People need to stop creating drama, it's gross."

Sadly, Lohan's own publicity team didn't get the memo. E! spoke to Lohan's unnamed rep (we're guessing Leslie Sloane Zelnick) and asked whether the rumors were true. Instead of a blunt "Absolutely not," the rep answered with a world-weary "I don't know." Not adequite, Leslie. Not nearly adequite.

• Life & Style exclusive: Lindsay: Sam and I are still together! [Life & Style]

AH quotes a source close to Lohan who says that following the split, the actress has moved out of the house she shares with Ronson. It's the dénouement of Hollywood's most beloved, barely confirmed same-sex affair, and AH claims it began to unravel as the two of them staged a series of epic public spats in Miami:

On New Year’s Eve, things went from bad to worse as Lindsay and Samantha hosted a bash together at club Mansion, where the two reportedly began another fight in public, before taking their shouting match outside.

According to the [New York Post], Lindsay screamed, “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!” [...]

The paper claims the war of words later turned to a physical altercation back at the hotel the two women were staying at.

“They were punching each other – it was bad,” another source told the paper. “And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary.”

Our condolences to both women as they work out the stages of Hollywood grief: terse publicist denials, mysterious MySpace entries with moods of "sad" and "confused," and finally, a statement from Leslie Sloane Zelnick confirming, "After nearly a year of friendship, Lindsay Lohan will no longer be attending club nights that book DJ sets by Samantha Ronson. Please respect her privacy as she struggles through this difficult time."

• Source: Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson Split Following Public Spats [Access Hollywood]

He tells Extra via webcam declaration that Pappas "told some of our business associates" of the breakup before telling him. "She came back to Colorado [after some time away] and told me, ‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you.’…I picked her up from the airport and she told me while I was getting her bags." If there was ever any question whether or not real feelings were involved, wait until you see a tearful and confused Csincsak apologizing to his thwarter "for whatever I did to make you not want to be with me.” Honestly, Jesse? Screw her. You can do way better—and will! On The Bachelor's Revenge: The Revenge-Seeking Bachelorette's Bachelor Bites Back!. Then you'll have your own six-week stab at rooting through a pile of ring-hungry hotties until you find the perfect one. (Of course, you'll have to wait your turn until that other dude she sent packing gets his.)

• DeAnna & Jesse: 'Bachelorette' Romance Over! [Extra]

Any divorce settlement would come out of Sumner Redstone’s own pocket, and not his family's Boston-based business, National Amusements Inc., said two people close to the firm. National Amusements is caught in a credit squeeze and Redstone's daughter, Shari Redstone, who runs the company, is trying to restructure its nearly $1.6-billion debt load, including an $800-million bank loan that is due in mid-December.

"What he's done for me is irreplaceable," Simpson says about her newfound confidence. Fortified by a glass of chardonnay, she sets the record straight on coping with the tabloids, her acting career and, of course, her new, happy life with Romo. "It feels like forever," she says about the months they've been together. "I love this guy. Can you feel it?" You can't help but feel it.

"I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want to see Tony and me in the pictures. It is good airplane reading if you throw it away when you get off; I'm good at that. I am not the type of person who believes everything she reads, but I like to look at photos and see what people are wearing."

"The cute story is that my family and I were watching a Cowboys game. I was going through my divorce and—Tony would die if I told you this—but [on television there was a story] about him. They said his celebrity dream crush was Jessica Simpson. My family was like, 'Did you just hear that?' His picture came up and I'm like, He's really cute. Then I heard [that I was his crush], and I'm like, Oh my gosh! ...One of my best friends played on a basketball team with Tony. He introduced Tony to my dad, and they hung out. Then Tony e-mailed my dad, 'Cute date,' when we were at the Country Music Awards [last November], because we were sitting next to each other in the audience and I guess we made a camera shot. My dad was like, 'Look what Tony said.' I said, 'Give him my e-mail address. We'll see if he's good with words.' Then he e-mailed me, and we flirted over e-mail and on the phone. We got to know each other by talking, which I think is the best way. We set up our first date on November 20. Today is our four-month anniversary, but it seems like we've been together for so much longer. I said five months to him today, and [Tony] goes, 'Baby, that hurts my feelings that you don't even know.'"

"He reintroduced me to myself. I thought that I had to be deeper, more profound and more artsy. You change with the guys you date. [I thought] I had to be more intellectual. Come on—just be yourself! Tony taught me that because he loves me [as me]. He made me feel comfortable [being myself] again."

"...I think it's ironic that I fell in love with a man I thought I would never be interested in because he's an athlete. I was always, An athlete? Heck no. Because it reminded me of being married. This article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up, but he still deserves all the accolades for bringing me back to who I am."

Earlier: Glamour's '50 Most Glamorous' Does Not Include Cover Model Jessica Simpson Something Blue

I've confirmed that Vince Vaughn has axed both his manager Eric Gold and his agency United Talent. Someone close to Vince just told me he did it by cell phone.

He's still with his attorney Debbie Klein. He'd been a UTA client since 1993 (three years before his breakout Swingers, which was partly filmed in the apartment of an agency assistant) and a Gold client since 2005's Wedding Crashers. [...]

Vaughn is telling people today that he made the moves because his manager and his agency "didn't get along at all" and it was too much drama in his life.

While the justification of infighting amongst his people is a nice deflection, we're certain that both sides would have readily smoothed over any perceived differences had they known their $20 mil-per-picture client's patronage was on the line. No, we suspect Vaughn's frustrations were over creative strategy, and The Wedding Crashers star opted to burn it all down and start from scratch, rather than subject himself to even one more pitch in which he'd be called upon to play "Leonard Toothfairy, the loutish brother-in-law of the legendary dental pixie."

• Vince Vaughn Fires Agency And Manager [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

And by "slander," we mean "reporting the facts," as OK continues to stand by their report that Romo "broke up with the singer because she was too high-maintenance" (according to US Magazine). Jessica, high maintenance? We are shocked. We always thought that piling on 8 pounds of makeup, being so creepily close to her hairdresser that he's officially her only friend, and insisting on toting around puppy Daisy in a Louis Vuitton doggie carrier priced high above $3k made the pop tart look downright Joni Mitchell.

• Jessica Simpson Fights Back Against OK! Magazine [US Magazine]

Lohan, already facing a drunken-driving charge in Beverly Hills, was stopped in the 1800 block of Main Street near the police station after officers said the mother of Lohan's assistant reported a car chase, Lt. Alex Padilla said. Lohan, 21, was allegedly chasing the assistant's mother, and the woman feared for her safety, Padilla said.

According to TMZ, the mom got involved when she arrived to pick up her newly unemployed daughter, but we've seen no reports explaining exactly why Lohan was pursuing the family, so we're inclined to wonder about the exact motive for the incident: Was Lohan merely distraught over her abandonment by a cherished confidant, and gave chase to win her back? Did the assistant, in an emotional moment during the break-up, tell her boss that she looked fat in her favorite pair of coke-pants, provoking an angry race through Santa Monica? We suppose we may never know the real story, but these are questions for which we desperately seek answers. As they say: developing...

• Lindsay Lohan is arrested again [LAT]