Gawker: defamer, brandon davis

Top Five Most Incomprehensible Babe Magnets In Hollywood

Molly Friedman — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:50:27 EST

Another day, another beauty splits up with legendary duck-faced serial dater Zach Braff. Seems Shiri Appleby, like her predecessors Drew Barrymore, Mandy Moore and Kirsten Dunst, just wasn't up to Zach's inexplicably high standards. It's embarrassing to admit, but we've always embarrassingly found the Scrubs star kinda charming in a college boyfriend who makes you laugh kind of way, but then again, we're mere mortals. So why do actresses like Shiri and Drew fall head-over-heels for this guy? Still, Zach is hardly the only aesthetically-challenged male star notching hottie after hottie on their (rarely worn) belts. We select our picks for the top five improbably lucky swordsmen in Hollywood after the jump.

1. Zach Braff: Conquests include Drew Barrymore, Shiri Appleby, Sarah Chalke, Mandy Moore, Bonnie Somerville and Kirsten Dunst.

2. Brandon Davis: Hit it (and subsequently quit it) with Mischa Barton, model Caroline Vreeland, Miranda Kerr, Harrod's heiress Camilla Al Fayed and model Cheyenne Tozzi.

3. Cisco Adler: Dating history includes Mischa Barton, Kimberly Stewart and Lauren Conrad.

4. Dax Shepard: Rumoured to have slept with Kate Hudson, Kirsten Bell, Tara Lipinski and Ione Skye.

5. Marilyn Manson: Got biblical with Dita Von Teese, Evan Rachel Wood, Rose McGowan and Jenna Jameson.

[Source: Who's Dated Who]

HOW DOES ZACH BRAFF BAG HOT CHICKS? [ONTD]

Paris Hilton Teaches Brandon Davis About Energy Policy (No, Really)

Moe — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:00:11 EDT

Last night Wonkette videographer Liz Glover crashed some fashion party and humiliated Brandon Davis by asking him about current events. (Guess what? Sorta thick, the Greasy Bear!) But Brandon should have known better! Because just a year ago, at another fashion party, a journalist working on behalf of another esteemed news organization cornered Brandon to pose another question about similarly oil-themed current events. And got taken to school by Paris "All the books of the Bible are my favorite because I can't actually read" Hilton! (After offering the best excuse for ignorance ever in history offered to a reporter.) A tipster sent us the transcript, from a June 2006 party hosted by Karl Lagerfeld young Brandon should maybe like NEVER FORGET.

BRANDON DAVIS: (nasty)
Q: What do you think of the Enron verdicts?

A: Huh?

Q: Do you think Jeff Skilling should get life in prison?

A: I dunno. I've been in Europe. Why should I care?

PARIS HILTON: (laughing to Brandon)

A: Brandon, you're in oil. Enron is oil.

BRANDON:

A: Oh. Yeah, they should go to prison.

Q: What do you think of hurting Lindsay Lohan's feelings with that off color remark?

A:Shut up!

Short Ends: Jessica Simpson Croaks

Seth — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 18:44:50 EDT

· Due to popular demand, we have uploaded for you Jessica Simpson's Today show voice crack, which, when played at high volume on infinite loop, is surprisingly effective at deterring mosquitoes. Happy camping.
· Poor Rachel Dratch has been excised from the 30 Rock cast page, though you can still ~~spy her smiling face on the site's main photo~~*. Curse you, Krakowski, and your perky boobs.
* A new cast photo has gone up over the weekend, minus Dratch.
· Trucker hats are so over, they're practically in again. (Especially among bisexual Raiders fan, and we think you know who you are.)
· Gawker's correspondent Neel Shah gets pummeled by Sarah Silverman at the VMAs, who mistakes him for a Defamer intern.
· Some confused VMAs paparazzi banter at the end of this clip unwittingly stumbles upon an excellent speech-therapy exercise. "Bran-dan Davis. Bran-dan Davis. Bran-dan Davis." Come on, everybody join in!
· You've seen the Diet Coke and Mentos experiments, but finally, one brave British lass tries swallowing the two herself. You'll just have to watch and see if it has the same "explosive results" as Marcia Cross' Desperate Housewives cunnilingus adventures.

Short Ends: Snakes On A Cake

Mark — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:33:54 EDT

· Come on, you already know the words, so say it with us: "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking cake!"
Paris Hilton and the Wiggles turned out for People Who Amuse Those With The IQ Of A Five-Year-Old Day on the Today Show, inspiring the WOW Report to mash-up both appearances into a single segment.
"Kev-IN! How many times I gotta tell you that after I drop the baby, you can't wash off his head wound in the shark tank?!"
JonBenet Ramsey killer John Mark Karr has a MySpace page. Now why would a guy who likes to prey on children possibly want to hang around on MySpace?
· Finally, a Mel Gibson t-shirt with a pleasing design.
· Sweaty, potty-mouthed oil heir Brandon Davis is still dining out on the "firecrotch" thing. It's probably time for him to move on to slandering pubic hair of a different color and prove he's not just a one-hit wonder.