CocoPerez.com has been exposed in dribs and drabs; the website Evil Beet snuck past its password protection, then the website became freely available for maybe half an hour, now it's back to being password protected.

The site is meant to be more advertiser-friendly, and consequently finds Hilton doodling fewer crude captions on pictures. But his nasty side shows through sometimes, as in this caption:

Then there's this sarcastic headline, complete with Hilton's trademark double exclamation points:

But there's also analytical rigor! Evil Beet noticed that Hilton has been reposting items written for his old site, expanded with more "analysis." Below is a post about Harvard University's obnoxious new clothing line. On PerezHilton.com, the coverage ended with, "This is all fine and well, but there is one lingering question… why???" On CocoPerez.com, it ends,

This is all fine and well, but there is one lingering question: why?? This is from so far left field. We would understand if The New School or RISD or any number of artistic/fashion focused schools launched a line - it would still be unusual but at least a logical progression. But this?? This is just so random. Especially since Harvard isn't exactly thought of as the apex of fashion. This is like Janet Reno announcing she's launching a line of lingerie. You just can't get your head around it because it's so…bizarre.

Well, at least they've got our attention!

It is for this value-added piercing insight that the new site is apparently sponsored by Gap. We'd be surprised if many more sugar daddies sign on: Hilton's biggest advantage has been that he'll say anything, no matter how tasteless. But now he wants to make bank by playing nice, leading to muddles like CocoPerez.

Like the Kodak pitch didn't you come away from that thinking, "I need this Kodak film carousel to display pictures of my pristine family or else I'm denying them my affection." All of the fictional (and sometimes real) products that made their way into Don's pitch room have been marketed as though they extensions of one's personality. Be it a can of shaving cream or a cup of coffee, each product says something about you that you want people to know.

That's why reading this piece in the New Yorker about a Mad Men ad meeting is cringe-inducing.

Alison Hoffman, the marketing director, described a Web-site promotion that will allow users to create their own "Mad Men" avatars, choosing among different ties, pipes, crinolines, and pearls.

"We're still adding accessories," she said.

"We need more purses!" someone suggested.

Next, Theresa Beyer, the vice-president of activation (another thing that didn't exist in the sixties), outlined a tie-in with Banana Republic, including a contest for a walk-on role. "Banana Republic has really taken this promotion to the nth degree," she said. Then she announced an activation coup: the Mets had just agreed to designate a "Mad Men" seating section at one of their games.

"Get out of here!" Theano Apostolou, the head of publicity, said.

"The exciting thing is everyone in our section is going to have a fedora," Beyer went on. "Of course, the band around it will have to be Mets colors." The marketers cooed: happiness.

Unhappiness! Mets seats? Ugh! Are we also to expect another long caravan of subways shrink-wrapped in an eye-assaulting Sterling Cooper theme? It's embarrassing to step into a train car that's been hijacked by advertisers. Train passengers will keep their eyes on their shoes generally, unless they be thought of as saps. So how well will sitting in a cramped plastic chair with a giant Don Draper silhouette at the Mets game evoke the themes of necessity, luxury, or personality? You can't just slap a logo on something and call it a "branding exercise ."

Thankfully though, the ladies are onto something with the clothes and the avatars. Those are direct extensions of our personalities. Things we want but are convinced we need and Mad Men can give them to us. Indeed, if there's activity that takes more time than putting an outfit together it's the agonizing amount of time I spend looking for the right avatar. Recently, I settled for nice cropped picture of a fictional red head named Joan Holloway.

Why is Hilton, real name Mario Lavandeira, so eager to trade his cock drawings for product placement? Perhaps because of the purported success of Microsoft's Wonderwall, a mostly toothless collection of pretty celebrity pictures that is browsed by scrolling sideways. A buzzy article in the New York Times touted Wonderwall's traffic and blue-chip advertisers and positioned it as a tame antidote to Hilton.

So Perez is trying to go blue-chip? That's almost unfathomable; the blogger's greatest asset remains his low-rent bitchiness and vulgarity. The only question is whether he figures that out before or after a fruitless effort to out-slick and out-friendly Microsoft. It, will, at least, be comical to watch.

Hilton says in the attached Time video that he works alone, with only "a little bit" of help from his sister. But when Guanabee ran 24 of the gossip blogger's recent photo scrawls past a handwriting expert, three of them looked like they were written by someone else.

Writes Cindy Casares:

We've had people come forward to tell us exclusively that they ghostwrote for Perez Hilton as far back as 2006.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.>So don't be fooled. You might like to think all of Hilton's erudite posts are written by the dashing young man who sounds so erudite on your television. But really they're probably just done by some sweaty, hyperventilating loudmouth whose mom still cleans up after him.

[Guanabee]

Everybody wants IN to the Chinese market. This particularly goes for high-end luxury brands, which are slobbering over the prospect of Chinese people—more than a billion of them!—soon having enough money to start buying their products. As the country gains a stronger middle and upper class, Dior and Armani and Chanel and Vuitton and all their friends are counting on a huge new customer base. Politics be damned!

And all the stars who model for, receive freebies from, or endorse all these brands? They're going to have to shut their traps about Tibet. China accepts no dissent on the issue. The Chinese government will happily blacklist any company foolish enough to publicly raise the issue, and no company would ever do such a thing. Nor will they allow their endorsers to. It's as simple as that. Every major company on earth has, thus far, folded in the face of Chinese totalitarianism, because the promise of their untapped customer base is too good to sacrifice for an abstract political cause. The shareholders want profits, not slogans.

So here's a prediction: In the future, the only Hollywood stars to loudly adopt the Tibet issue will be those who are too old or unpopular to land the juiciest luxury endorsements. Or maybe some of them will willingly ditch their endorsements in order to continue arguing for the cause? Ha ha! Yea, we hope so too. Maybe Richard Gere will stick it out.

Think that's cynical? The same thing has already happened in the sports world. NBA superstar Lebron James refused to sign a letter from ten of his own teammates condemning China's business connection to the atrocities in Darfur. Why? Because he has a $100 million contract with Nike, and the Olympics are coming up in Beijing, and Nike wants a big piece, as well as big peace. Most other big name athletes have already fallen in line as well.

Hopefully the Dalai Lama can do without Beverly Hills.

[Photo via Getty]

Close behind, however, is Britney Spears's Curious, a $55 million-seller that gave the singer's fans the opportunity to dab a little magnolia-and-jasmine-infused desperation behind their ears before tucking their own kids into bed for a jacuzzi-prowling night on the town.

• Best-Selling Celebrity Scents [Forbes]