<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, boy toys]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, boy toys]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/boytoys http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/boytoys <![CDATA[Ryan Seacrest To Help Sexually Confused 'Bros' Befriend Brody Jenner]]> There's no use denying that we have had more than a passing interest in reality dating shows for just about as long as we can remember. From watching to Roger Lodge wink his way through Blind Date to finding ourselves hooked into all of the Flavor of Love franchises to our guiltiest moment where we watched a marathon of Shipmates, we had thought we'd seen it all from the genre. But today’s news that King of Television Ryan Seacrest has enlisted Hills boy toy/master nobody Brody Jenner to star in Bromance has officially ruined our ever-weakening belief in these shows doing anything other than harm to our souls. The premise, the challenges, and the overall stench of this upcoming MTV series sounds like, quite possibly, the worst idea in the history of ideas:

”Contestants will be whittled down via ‘Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies’ after which [the] rejected will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand...contestants also will have shots at a ‘group date’ and ‘alone time’ with Jenner in every episode.”

Oh, did we mention the fact that these “contestants” are known as “bros”? Yes, this is a dating show for dudebros who probably don't understand what the word "repression" means. More gruesome details after the jump.

As THR reports, six episodes of the "buzzed about" show starring reality regular Jenner has finally been picked up by MTV as Ryan Seacrest continues his master plan to destroy television by replacing Larry King the instant his suspenders fall by the wayside and by pumping out homoerotic shows week after week. In the case of Bromance, a group of "regular guys" will arrive in Hollywood and compete to become part of Jenner's incredibly elite and elusive "entourage," meaning they will be allowed into Hyde roughly 50% of the time and get to sit in dirty velvet booths alongside the likes of Audrina Patridge. One can only dream. In addition to the aforementioned wet speedo rejection structure, the challenges will range from skydiving to "dealing with the paparazzi." Which will admittedly be difficult, considering the winner will be expected to "deal" with paps by begging them to "please, just please consider taking just one shot of Brody, bro, please? Will a fiver do the trick?"

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5015091&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Brad Pitt Set To Furnish French Brangelina Love Nest With Least Sexy Furniture He Could Find]]> Angelina Jolie wasn’t kidding when she went on (and on) about über-husband, highbrow architect and sometimes-actor Brad Pitt’s obsession with home design in this month's Vanity Fair. As we noted on Tuesday, Jolie spent much of the VF cover story gushing about Pitt’s ability to design and teach her how to make the light look just right in all seasons (side note — are we the only ones who find this incredibly unsexy? Hell, it’s Brad Pitt. Nevermind). But on a recent jaunt to Switzerland, he dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars on in an effort to furnish upcoming Chosen Two Perfection Facility with furniture that is high on style but low on comfort. From scratchy aluminum rugs to chairs that do not look suitable for any variety of chair sex (wild or otherwise), we took a closer look at Brad’s shopping spree after the jump.

As the Post reports, Pitt recently spent some time at the Design Miami Basel fair buying the hollowed out table we see at bottom left for nearly $300k, in addition to two ergonomic chairs like the ones at top left. That horrendous rug we see at bottom right is made of aluminum, which saves the planet and all that boring stuff, but looks like it's made of cardboard and may puncture tiny Shiloh's perfect feet. As for that monstrosity at top right, Pitt apparently expressed "interest" in a silver version, which is fiberglass and "lacquer-finished." Meaning the pair can get as wet as they want while canoodling on it, but will most likely just slip off it onto their crunchy granola rug. Hot.

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