In today's installment: Kiefer Sutherland, Lauren Bacall, Ashlee Simpson, Christopher "McLovin Sucks Balls!" Mintz-Plasse, Paula Abdul, Bob Odenkirk, Hank Azaria, David Wain, Benjamin McKenzie, Jackie Warner, Paul Haggis, Jane Lynch, Shane West, Ken Davitian (twice!), Brad Garrett, Joe Rogan, Bitsie Tulloch, Jennifer Morrison, Christopher Titus and more.

FRIDAY, MAY 20
· Sitting at the bar at 4100, smack dab in the middle of a Square Pegs DVD discussion, trying to remember the name of the actress who played Muffy, my friend suggests asking the guy who just sat down next to us. I turn around to see everyone’s favorite Lost Boy, Kiefer Sutherland, who just happened to co-star with her (Jami Gertz) in that iconic bit of cinematic magic. Fellow patrons approached us with their best The Lost Boys quotes. “Mi-chael, Mi-chael.” & “It’s just noodles.” were among the favorites. Surprisingly, there was not one quote from A Few Good Men—WTF?. Lt. Jonathan Kendrick was drinking J & B neat with a few civilians who favored PBR in a can. He did a funny little dance when “Oh Bondage, Up Yours” came on the jukebox, which my friend took to mean that he did not approve. After he had a few drinks in him, Jack Bauer was overheard to say to a female companion, “I would definitely be all over your ass.” I figured Chloe must have downloaded the schematics to his PDA. After last call we were escorted out while he stayed with his friends to smoke and drink.

TUESDAY, MAY 27
· Saw Benjamin McKenzie and a male friend eating in silence at Hugo's. Both wolfed down their quasi-healthy and always-surprisingly-bland-fare (seriously! why do i keep going back?) with nary a word spoken between them. Afterwards they shared a huge chocolate sundae. Then they simultaneously texted. In silence. A few grunts here and there and that was all. A typical hetero night in Boystown? That guy was amazing in Junebug, btw. Seriously. What a great actor.

· Saw Brad Garrett rocking out to the Police during night one of their two nights at the Hollywood Bowl. The people behind him only heard the show. Dude is tall. He left during the encore.

THURSDAY, MAY 29
· This one's for all of you - all three of you- who are obsessed with internet sensation/primetime disaster QUARTERLIFE. R.E.M. show at the Bowl: saw "Dylan", Bitsie Tulloch, and her QLIFE enemy "Britanny", Barret Swatek. In line together, buying one lone beer. I so wanted them to start making out like they did on screen but they just flirted with the lucky guy next to them and walked off into the night to drink their beer and probably make out in the dark to some REM soft ballad. Also, looks as though Qlife didn't pay that well because they were both in serious need of a sandwich.

· The West Hollywood Equinox is no stranger to (sort of) celebrities, but this morning I saw Jackie Warner from Bravo's "Work Out" there. I don't normally care very much who I see there, but I found it interesting that a woman with a reality show about owning a gym doesn't even work out there! What a sham...

· I saw Shane West last night (5/29) and the 24-hour fitness in Hollywood, looking very good. A lot shorter in person than I would expect.

· At the DGA screening of Dirty Harry, I saw: Paul Haggis, Ken Davitian (of Borat fame), Gary Cole from Office Space and The Brady Bunch movies, Christopher "Shooter McGavin" McDonald (he seemed pretty friendly to a group of girls who approached him in the lobby after the screening), Jon Voight (he too seemed nice, posing for a few pictures with fans), and Lonny Ross from 30 Rock, who seemed to be by himself. I really wanted to approach him and tell him what a huge fan of 30 Rock I am, but I don't recall him being on any of the recent episodes, so I didn't want to offend him in case he's no longer on it.

SATURDAY, MAY 31
· At Palmetto (bath-goop store on Montana in Santa Monica), saw Lauren Bacall. She was being fawned over by the staff, plied with lotions balms and salves. Well why not? She's a legend and she had Bogart. Looks good, and still has that plummy, New York voice.

· Saw Joe Rogan of Fear Factor fame standing outside of the movie theaters at The Grove. He had his entire index finger in his mouth, apparently trying to pick a kernel of popcorn from his teeth or something. Dude, that's what bathrooms are for.

SUNDAY, JUNE 1
· Had lunch at Maggiano's on Sunday (June 1st) and saw Paula Abdul there. She was pretty much ignoring the three people in her group by talking nonstop on her cell.

· Arrived to an oddly not-terribly-crowded Hugo's on SMB just as Jane Lynch walked out. While patiently waiting for our table, Milo Ventimiglia walked in (wearing a black Robot Chicken T-Shirt) and patiently waits to be seated. Although we thought we had experienced our share of sightings for a single Hugo's outing, as we went to pull out from the parking lot behind the restaurant, Bryan Singer pulled up in his gas guzzler.

· The delightfully normal-looking and -acting (yet brilliant and funny) Bob Odenkirk at the Trader Joe's in Silver Lake during the morning. Good sighting, but i was more thrilled to find an actual parking spot...

· Was wandering around the afterparty at the MTV Movie Awards and, predictably, saw a lot of famous people running around. I won't bore you with those details, but this one stuck. Anna Faris was talking to a group of friends when two female fans approached her, asking for a picture. Being the doll that she is, she complied. However, her douchebaggy boyfriend (gentleman caller?) was really rude to these fans. He laughed dismissively when they asked her, and then made fun of them after they left. What a dick.

MONDAY, JUNE 2
· Hank Azaria was at the 7:15pm screening of Bigger, Stronger, Faster* at the Arclight. I wonder which of his characters is on the juice? Chief Wiggum? Apu? The Comic Book Guy? Cletus? Professor Frink? Dr. Nick Riveria (he's kind of like an anti-aging doctor), Snake is definitely on steroids...

TUESDAY, JUNE 3
· I had an eventful 30 minutes or so sitting in the Arclight courtyard on June 3rd. I saw chameleon actor Clifton Collins Jr. with a woman who looked, as Variety likes to put it, non-industry. Next up: Heavenly Creature Melanie Lynskey and her husband, Sunny in Philadelphia's Jimmi Simpson. And finally, the willowy Jennifer Morrison breezed past with her new beau Amaury Nolasco from Prison Break. Is it too far-fetched to conclude they were all coming out of the same screening of Sex and the City?

· Saw former good actor Michael Rapaport while having lunch at Bloom. Thankfully, the female talent dining there distracted me enough that I even forgot about seeing him until a moment ago. Food was ultra-tasty, btw. But seriously, kids, the women there were all the more delicious.

· Saw David Wain at the Groundworks coffee on the corner of Sunset and Cahuenga. He's an early riser, that one. Resisted the urge to quote Wet Hot American Summer lines while he stood in line. He grabbed himself a morning coffeee, wandered around for a few minutes and then headed out the door.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
· During the early afternoon, saw Rashida Jones looking good and getting into a black hybrid SUV nr Robertson Blvd and Alden. My Chappelle's Show-loving girlfriend went "Team Karen! Oh hey, is it muthafuckin' tizzight?" (in a friendly way). She didn't turn around.

· [ED. NOTE — We normally don't include NYC sightings, but this one is kinda priceless] Ashlee Simpson at Kips Bay movie theater in NYC. It was not hard to spot Ashlee at the 7p screening of Sex and the City. She was sitting in a ROPED OFF area with her NONtourage - totally solo. She had purchased 3 rows of seats so that she would not have to mix with the plebs. An usher stood by the ropes to explain to all the bitter patrons why they couldn't sit there. EW.

· Lunchtime at the McDonalds in Century City, we spotted Ken Davitian, he of balls in the face Borat fame, wolfing down his meal very quickly. He didn't eat the bun, he apparently ate all his fries, and seemed in and out in about 10 minutes! We watched him quite openly instead of being all stealth and nonchalant about it. He did not notice us staring at him or hear me whispering probably a little too loud: "Jeeze, I've seen that guys balls".

THURSDAY, JUNE 5
· At the Parliament show at Crash Mansion, saw McLovin' wearing a Red Sox cap and talking trash about the Lakers with some fans. He was polite and patient with the people, who did not return the favor. When his friends finally extricated him from the mob, the scorned fans shouted loudly "McLovin' Sucks Balls!" All class, Laker fans.

· Very tall and skinny Christopher Titus at one of 80,000 Starbucks on Ventura Blvd, in Studio City.

In today's episode: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren; Larry David; Seth Rogen; Dave Annable, Matthew Rhys, and Emily VanCamp; Larry Birkhead; Laurence Fishburne; Peter Krause and Bob Odenkirk; Tony Hale; Jamie Lee Curtis; David Hasselhoff and Spoon; Connie Britton; John Landis; Cindy Crawford; Sharon Lawrence; and Janice Dickinson.

· I just ran into Jessica Alba and Cash Warren at the Ralphs on Doheny and Beverly Blvd, about 10:30pm Tuesday Dec. 5th. Cash was pushing the grocery cart and seemed to be doing all the shopping, while Jessica was wandering up another aisle by herself. She wasn't looking at anything on the shelves, just wandering, which I thought was odd. Also, there was a beautiful white Bentley GT in the parking lot. I'm assuming it was hers.

· Larry David having drinks last night (12/6) at Wilshire in SM with a smoking hot young blonde. Seriously, she was like late 20s, all done up and starlet-y. Not a daughter/relative/assistant b/c he was sitting on a bar stool and she was cozying up to him. And she kept smiling all lovey-dovey. Not a first date, but it looked like it was new. Nice work, LD!

· 11/30 - Went to Boulevard 3 to see Ringside play a late night show (almost too late for this old lady) and of course saw Balthazar Getty (he's in the band) but also spied his t.v. brothers Dave Annable and Matthew Rhys) who both looked so cute in person. I was told that the girl sucking face with Annable was his illegitimate t.v. sister (Emily VanCamp)- ew. But I don't watch the show much, so I can't say for sure. The band was solid, sounded better than I remember— LUV that song 'Tired of Being Sorry'!

12/02 - Was waiting in line at Milk on Beverly Blvd and Seth Rogen walked in behind me with a petite, down-to-earth looking brunette. I approve of the coupling (if that's the case). Not sure what they got, but I do know he drove off in a brand new shiny black Lexus sedan.

Really old, sorry: 11/19 - Daughtry show at the Orpheum. I was NOT there to see Daughtry (although those fans make for some good people watching). No, I was there to see cuties The Midway State— talk about an odd pairing of bands! Anywho, during the break between TMS and Daughtry, I spied much shorter than expected and just as thin as assumed, ANS baby daddy, Larry Birkhead. Now, I don't think the man is attractive, but in pictures he has that saccharine cuteness thing going. Not so in person. He was just sorta there.

· Dec 3 - WEIRD! I'm at the back bar [next to the kitchen] at the Abbey, and who's standing to my left? Laurence Fishburne. Wearing a black leather jacket, and with a white male friend around his age. Make your own speculations about this one!

· 12/5 Saw Bob Odenkirk (he of the hilarious Mr. Show and the unfunny everything else, not the reliably unfunny /Steve/ Oedekerk) at the Koo Koo Roo on Larchmont and Beverly. He was all "WGA this," and "strike that" into his cel phone. When I drove away I nearly hit Peter Krause crossing Larchmont. Maybe he was too busy thinking about the Darling family blah blah fakety-fake (though this /was/ a real sighting).

· Tony "Buster Bluth" Hale and family in line to see Santa at the Grove: It was last night (12.6.07) at around 5:00. My son and I were in line a few people back from them. Very jovial fellow. Their nearly one year old, as expected, didn't care for being on Santa's knee.

· Dec 4- With all the Jamie Lee Curtis sightings earlier this week, I feel obliged to give you mine. I was at a Shepard Fairey preview before the opening and saw her talking loudly to her Robin Quivers-eque friend about a piece she would have bought if it wasn't already sold. Not bad for a cougar but kinda sending that 'militant lesbian' vibe....but in a good way. Excellent art show BTW.

· Dec 5- Spotted the band Spoon outside baggage claim at LAX. Later, David Hasselhoff wandering down Robertson. He looked bewildered and sorta wandered back and forth around the block. He was probably waiting for someone to recognize him.

· My total girl-crush Connie "Mrs. Coach" Britton - enjoying a late supper at Cafe des Artistes in Hollywood on Thursday night. It looked like a date as they were still deep in conversation as we left at 12:30 AM. If it was, dude has definitely outkicked his coverage. Happy Holidays!

· Dec 5 - Dammit, I just just saw 80s auteur John Landis at the Metropolitan Museum of Art gift store at the Century City mall. He and his wife came in to shop just as I was paying my bill. He looks pretty much the same since the "Making of Thriller" days, albeit a little greyer. I assume he was with his wife, who is pretty and classy in a mature/non-plastic surgery-laden way. I so wanted to tell him what a huge fan I was, but chickened out. I may just have to settle by watching my "American Werewolf in London" DVD.

· Dec 3 - Was on a little vaca down in San Diego this weekend and spotted Cindy Crawford hanging at the recently opened Sweetwater Saloon in the new Hard Rock hotel. I was way too shy to approach her on my own, but my wonderful girlfriend stepped in to make the introduction. Cindy, who is just as beautiful in person, was very gracious and sweet ... and I may never wash my hand again.

· Dec 6 - Last week saw Sharon Lawrence in the lobby of my office building; looking very content...and very doable...I always thought she was hot in a MILFy-like way...

· A couple of sightings from Wednesday's Spice Girls show: I wasn't anywhere near Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I did spot Nick Verreos, who was right up by the runway and totally into the show, and Janice Dickinson, who had floor seats but seemed to be coming and going the whole time.

• Bob Pitches A Movie [Superdeluxe]