[T]here is nary a single genuine giving moment to be found during the opening hour.

It is instead a profoundly hyperkinetic and unwieldy adventure in product placement, in Oprah-as-Messiah hype and, ultimately, in what's so utterly fake and insidious about "reality" television itself. [...]

Shallow as a birdbath, the program would appear to exist less as a true philanthropic exercise than yet another self-aggrandizing vehicle in Oprah's divine quest to become synonymous with all that is virtuous and good on Earth.

We bid the reviewer a fond farewell, who's likely moments away from being snatched from his desk by her army of Ugg-booted flying Harpo monkeys and dropped into the nearest active volcano. THR, meanwhile, will shortly thereafter find itself absorbed into the talk show host's ever-expanding empire, reconfigured into RÖM, the official in-flight magazine of Oprah Airways.

• Oprah's Big Give [THR]