Gawker: defamer, blackout

Britney Spears Sets A Course For Comeback: A Round-Up

Seth — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 15:11:13 EDT

It's been a strange couple of days in the Drunk-Alice-in-a- Child-Neglecting-Wonderland universe of Britney Spears, whose long-awaited comeback album, "Blackout," released Tuesday to shockingly not horrible notices. (Her parenting skills, on the other hand, scored a solidly red Metacritics 16, the general consensus being that a Praline Ice Blended does "not constitute a suitable replacement for baby formula.") In order to get you up to speed, a Britney round-up:
· First day sales of "Blackout" numbered 124,000, putting her on track to sell around 350,000 units in the first week. That's enough to put her at the top of the Billboard charts—a feat rendered even more amazing when you consider her producers derived the entirety of the album's vocals by digitally fiddling with one usable note. [People]

· Ryan Seacrest managed to get an interview with a half-asleep Britney on his radio show yesterday morning, where she outlined the media-blitz campaign to support her latest release: "Um...We watched a movie." Another highlight was this classic exchange in response to Britney's description of her dinner the night previous: Ryan: "Fried chicken and cookies. Britney, I've seen your diet just because I happened to watch the television, so I know you've been eating some good food recently." Britney: "Yeah." Ryan: "I mean we get to see all the drive-thrus." [4 seconds of dead air.] "Hello?" [kiisfm.com]
· Britney's made it out to Heidi Klum's Halloween party last night, perhaps the only person on the planet not dressed as Britney Spears. Instead, she dressed as Girl in Heart-Shaped Sunglasses and Pink Tiger-Striped Mesh Bodice. It was a hit! [Getty Images]
· Britney.com gets a bold new look, while BritneySpears.com still awaits its much-delayed facelift. Spears.com, meanwhile, is still your go-to internet destination for all your plastic pipe fitting and valve needs. [Britney.com,BritneySpears.com,Spears.com]

RoboBritney Suffers From None Of The Pitchiness Of The Original

Seth — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:46:56 EDT

With just eight short days until the release of "Blackout," Britney Spears's attempt at stepping away from all the sock-related distractions and again donning her popstar hat (a Kangol-brand porkpie), the first reviews have appeared, including a dispatch from the NY Daily News in which the critic is struck by the robot behind vocals:

Her twerpy chirp of a voice and flirty Lolita persona serve mainly as mascots for the music, providing the brand name and raw goods that a massive cast of writers, producers and marketers then manipulate into something commercially attuned.

If Britney is indeed as out of it as she appears, that would only give the behind-the-scenes experts more freedom to prop the pop queen into whatever settings they deem most flattering.
Much of "Blackout" suggests as much. On many tracks, Britney sounds so worked over, she doesn't even seem like a person. Instead, she comes off like some machine that bleeps and bloops out an airy array of oohs, ahhs and groans. If a blowup sex doll could sing, this is what she'd sound like.

The bleeping/blooping Spears (AutoBrit illustration courtesy of the Daily News) may provide for some infectiously synthetic dance grooves, but only serves as a sad reminder that there exists no autotune-software to correct whatever flaws have been plaguing the singer's personal affairs. If only life were that easy, and there were a computer program that could reverse a regrettable evening spent locked inside a Winston's bathroom stall, while a two-man security detail was left with the messy business of attending to double diaper duty on a cigarette-strewn table top.

Studio tricks make Britney's new CD sound like robot singing [nydailynews.com]

Blackout! The Update

Mark — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:42:50 EDT

From what we can gather from various news stories, Defamer HQ is one of the last places still without power in the aftermath of the blackout. As we stood on the sidewalk, wondering why the traffic lights on the end of the street seemed to be fully operational while the beer in our refrigerator was in peril of going skunky, a miracle transpired: Kicking up to the front of our building on a commandeered Razor scooter was noted rescue specialist Sean Penn. There was little room left on his conveyance of mercy with the actor, a Rolling Stone journalist, and a wire service photographer crammed on board, but we climbed onto his broad shoulders, and he selflessly ferried us to the provisional HQ where we now sit. (He finds that picture of Elijah Wood just as off-putting as you do, by the way.)

We'll have to return to Defamer HQ momentarily to check if the power's back on—and to make sure that Penn hasn't ransacked the place; there was an impish glint in his eye when we'd mentioned the beer sitting in the fridge.

We'll be back shortly.

Blackout!

lock — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 17:30:49 EDT

Yes, the power's out across Los Angeles (what, only one Drudge siren?). While you wait for Defamer HQ to return to the grid, enjoy the above photo of Elijah Wood at a parade in New York City this past weekend, courtesy of our friends at Cityrag.

The Birth of Frodo [Cityrag]
Blackout Strikes Los Angeles [Sploid]