Adam Jasinski, winner of last season's Big Brother, didn't just sit on his laurels, spending the rest of his life harking back to his golden days in the sun. Realizing that one's moment doesn't last forever, he got up very quickly and went out to build the drug dealing empire he's always dreamed of.

Sadly, for every great dreamer, there's an army of people determined to stomp on their dreams and leaving nothing but broken shards on the floor. Yesterday, Jasinski was arrested and charged with attempting to sell oxycodone (aka Hillybilly Heroin) across the eastern seaboard.

<a href="">The FindLaw blog quotes a DEA special agent from the criminal complaint:

JASINSKI stated that for the past several months he had been obtaining thousands of pills of oxycodone and re-selling them to customers all along the east coast. JASINSKI was able to purchase large quantities of pills because he had received $500,000 as the grand prize winner of the CBS reality television show Big Brother Season 9.

Jasinki's day/cover job? Serving as head of The Lifestyle Publishing Group, a company he owns, which supposedly prints The Recovery Guide, a periodical on addiction and recovery issues.

Jasinki's Big Brother-learned skills of coping in a confined space may come in handy. The charges carry a penalty of up to 20 years in prison.

[via ASSME]

1.) Models of the Runway
It's boring…and "dumb."

I love Heidi's reaction to them.

2.) Speaking of Dumb
Who the fuck forgets the words to "God Bless America"? Especially if it's your job to remember them.

3.) Gosselin Kids Promise Not To Murder Their Mother

4.) The Insider: "Michael Jackson…A Ladies Man?"

Did they mean like this?

5.) Anal Retentive
That OCD guy from that Bravo show doesn't allow his employees to poop in the office bathrooms, and if they do, and he finds out about it, he gets revenge.

6.) Anal Retentive, Part 2
On the TLC show Truth Be Told, people with who are obsessed with their pets were profiled. This woman swears she's "not a crazy pet owner," although she does admit to—and is filmed—wiping her dogs ass after she (the dog, not the owner) shits.

I wonder if this dog sleeps in her wig.

7.) Kim Sleeps in Her Wig

What would NeNe think?

8.) Everyone Thinks Spencer Pratt Is An Idiot

9.) Steven Seagal Is Working
Is anyone else as excited about Steven Seagal's new reality show as I am?

10.) My Sentiments, Exactly

1.) Adderall!

2.) The Stanky Leg

3.) Lil' Monkey

4.) Big Brother's Impeccable Montage Editing

5.) NYC Prep Schadenfreude

6.) Fox News' "Liberal" Views On Pole Dancing
(It doesn't count as "pole dancing" if you're using the pole for balance. Fair and balanced.)

7.) Good News for Gays
They have your kind in Wasilla, and Levi doesn't mind 'em.

8.) Gay Bitch

9.) La Toya: "There's Not Enough Aid For AIDS."
She is manic!

10.) A Hooker/Pimp Relationship Gone Awry?

1.) One Life to Live Does Grey Gardens
During a drunken daydream, one character on the soap imagined life as Edie Beale. They did a musical number, and the Costume of the Day speech, although the accent was way off.

2.) Joan Rivers on Live TV
I love that for her publicity tour for her new reality show, she keeps dropping F bombs on live television.

3.) Police Women Get Stuck With The Vagina Jobs

4.) Moe
Former Jezebel editor Moe Tkacik was on MSNBC on Tuesday morning, where she talked about the economy and possibly got hit on.

5.) Do You Remember the Time?
It was discovered that a 3000-year-old tomb of a mummified woman looks exactly like MJ.

6.) Lesbians Aren't Into Sausage Parties
Zing to you, Gordon Ramsey!

7.) Wasted Housewives of Atlanta
I love how drunk and loving NeNe and Kim got at their "let's be friends again" dinner.

8.) Who Pulled Tiger Woods' Finger?

9.) Do You Wanna Hear Someone From Chicago Pronounce "Coup d'état"?

10.) Why Am I So Obsessed With Her?
Her feigned modesty is one reason.

1.) "God, Guns, Guts, and American Pickup Trucks"
That's this guy's motto for his truck dealership in rural Missouri. He gives away a free AK-47 with each vehicle purchased. While being interviewed on CNN's American Morning, he made some compelling arguments for his business model:

"The only 911 call I need is chambering a round."
"There is a tremendous crime problem with people doing meth and these people – they've lost their souls."
"You don't have a problem with God, do you? I'm just curious…"
"We're a Christian nation."
"You don't think God wants us to defend ourselves? I'm confused."

2.) Paris Hilton: "I'm Not Retarded"

3.) Me: "Yes You Are"

4.) Barbara Walters' Speech Impediment
I've finally cracked the code to the cause of Barbara Walters' "accent." She says her R's backwards, so they come out as "raw" instead of "arh."

5.) Big Brother

I'm so obsessed with these turds. This sums up how I'm feeling right now:

6.) Gay Penguin Dramz
After a six-year relationship, Harry and Pepper, two gay male penguins living in a zoo in San Francisco, are no longer an item. Harry left Pepper for a woman. (A penguin one, not a human one.)

7.) And This

8.) Things Are Different in Canada

9.) Who Does Jon Gosselin Think He Is?
Remember when the father of eight said that he was sick of doing the show and sick of paparazzi? He's so sick of the celebrity life, that he just needed to get away from it—by sipping champagne on a private yacht floating in the French Riviera.

10.) Wrap It Up, Linda

The week before I began my first guest-blogging stint at Defamer, I spent an entire day competing in the Big Brother house. CBS had invited several entertainment journalists there to challenge each other in an untelevised, "speed round" version of a typical Big Brother week, and I was sent by The Advocate to take part. The time-dependent article never ended up running (sorry, CBS!), but it was an interesting trip through the looking glass, to say the least.

Except for a two-second reaction shot on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List that flooded me with emails and phone calls from friends as far back as high school, I was a reality TV novice. Which is not to say that I didn't watch it or have the typical Los Angeles links to it (when even the guy who cuts your hair is in negotiations for a one-hour special on Bravo, you get used to its ubiquity). It just wasn't something I wanted any part of; after all, if there's one thing my subsequent stint at Defamer would drive home, it's that a minor on-camera misstep can haunt a reality TV star for the rest of his lifetime.

But participating in a well-produced reality show that would never see the air? That just felt like a fun novelty gag—and it was, until things got all Stanford Prison Experiment-y.

At first, it was a blast. As soon as we were let into the house, the eight of us immediately laughed at how reality-ready we were as a cast; for journalists, we were a vaguely telegenic group, and each one of us fulfilled an important reality TV cliche. People's Reagan Alexander was the leather jacket-clad bad boy, while Jenn McBride of CBS/KCAL was the beautiful, blond Christian who met her husband while making milkshakes at Bible camp. Secretly, I thrilled to my designation as "the token gay," an invaluable participant that no good reality show can be without.

Those introductions and the initial flurry of ridiculously-costumed competitions carried us until nearly halfway through the day, and it's at that point that the most insidious element of reality TV—the allure of the cameras—sunk its tenterhooks into us. The stakes for the day were awfully low (only one person would be voted out, and it would happen just before we all left), yet we began to conspire like they were all-important. In a house that lacked a deck of cards, television, or music, playing the camera game was the sole entertainment, and the only way you could win was to give those whirring, wall-set cameras a reason to follow you. It didn't matter that all we would eventually get for our troubles was a fifteen-minute, cut-together "episode" of our day. The battle to be the untelevised breakout star was on.

The camera addiction even affected our gameplay. After winning the title of Head of Household, Entertainment Tonight's Kevin Frazier was ordered to put half the house on "slop" (a gross, green, oatmeal-like substance) for the rest of the day. As he asked for us to plead our cases, I said, "I will actually take slop if you promise not to nominate me for eviction," which prompted impressed "oooohs" from my housemates. To me, though, it was a no-brainer—I wasn't expecting a nomination, so I might as well do something daring to earn camera time.

Still, I needed more: a shtick. Increasingly bored at one point in the afternoon, I donned a coonskin cap left on the dresser by a thoughtful set decorator. My housemates looked at me dubiously, but now the cameras began to follow me whether I was plotting or not. Encouraged, I also donned boxing gloves and fashioned a bedspread into a makeshift cape. Ridiculous? Yes, but who goes on reality television to preserve their dignity? "This guy..." said Kevin, shaking his head. Exactly: I was now somebody.

As votes were cast to nominate two of the players for eviction, things became even more mad. Formerly normal contestants became increasingly paranoid and prone to outbursts. At the beginning of the day, we had enacted play-fights just for fun, but the line had become oddly blurred. Not that I was helping matters; when one of the eviction nominees, Yahoo's Brian Gianelli, was canvassing the house for support, he came to me. "What can I do to win your vote to stay?" he asked. "You can wear this ridiculous poodle bedspread I found as a cape," I said, now certifiably insane. He did, I held my word, and my vote was the only vote to keep Brian in the house—he got evicted at 8:55pm, five minutes before the game ended for us all.

A week and a half later, a courier arrived on my doorstep and handed me a DVD. "This is from CBS," he said. I grabbed it, excited: Would it feature all my plotting? Would my cap-and-cape adventures merit a humorous subplot? My camera-hogging impulses, which had gone dormant since I left the house, were suddenly revived.

Though the episode started out strong in a vanity-assuaging way (I was featured so often in the confessionals that I began to wonder if the DVD was specifically tailored to me), my scheming and cavorting received nary a second of camera time. Like so many reality TV veterans before me, I had become a victim of editing.

Did the experience make me more sympathetic to the people I would eventually cover at Defamer? In some ways. The machinations of Hollywood and reality TV are insane and tireless, and once one becomes fully caught in them, it can be hard to untangle. Ordinary people become narcissists, clever comics become too enamored by their own voices, and wallflowers suddenly feel worthless without a camera pushed into their faces at every moment. The machine demands our merciless satire, and even its most tiresome participants deserve our empathy.

Still, Brooke Hogan? You kind of had this coming.

That's it! See you at Movieline. Jai ho, motherfuckers!

The erstwhile Mini-Me had tried his damnedest to inject some poignancy into the escapades of the British reality show, but Big Brother was not having it, instead forcing him to dress up as Pooh and eat an entire jar of honey despite his protestations that it was making him fart. Apparently, the British sense of camp springs from that painful intersection where D-list excavation and humiliating punishment collide (we're sure VH1 is taking notes). Want more proof? We leave you, then, with this quote from the Daily Mail about the episode, to which no more can be added:

For their task, Coolio and Tommy Sheridan were made to dress as toy cars and file through a car wash. They stood looking sad and resigned.

• 'Bear with it,' says Big Brother as the celebs object to dressing as teddies and eating honey [Daily Mail]

After working with Ledger in Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus just before his death, Troyer was moved to replicate part of the actor's signature—a heart—as a tattoo on his hand. Troyer recounted his memories in a sober, touching story that belied its setting: an episode of the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. Luckily, Troyer managed to keep the moment respectful; the only flicker of inappropriate reality show camp came just before he began, as the narrator noted, "4:48 pm. Coolio is in the kitchen." [ONTD]

• Big Brother 10 [CBS]

Even the brave souls at E!'s Sunset Tan were not immune to the quake, though they faced it with their clothes already off:

“Sunset Tan” sales rep and cast member Holly Huddleston was stuck in a tanning booth when things started to vibrate during an FHM photo shoot promoting the E! series.

“I was in nothing but a bra and panties and wearing these high heels when everything started shaking,” Huddleston said. “I kind of stopped and looked around to see if it was just me, if I was the one shaking or if I was just positioned funny.

Satisfied that the shaking was due to natural causes and not a few too many Stoli/Red Bulls, Huddleston went back to work, bravely illustrating the (paraphrased) axiom that "a woman can do any earthquake a man can, she just has to do it backwards, in high heels, while a photographer grouses, 'Can someone keep those nipples iced up?'"

• Reality TV stars react to the Los Angeles quake [Los Angeles Times]
• Video: Earthquake Hits The Big Brother House [THR]

· Foreigners aren't picky. They love 10,000 B.C.! [Variety]
· Big Brother is sent back to the summer TV gulag, after a freakish, strike-necessitated winter edition, which never quite caught on with the show's easily confused, seasonally dependent viewership. [THR]
· Ken Davitian has been cast in Fox's Bernie Mac sitcom Starting Under, where audiences will do everything they can to wipe away the image of his flabby, fur-covered ass cheeks squeezing the last gasps of air from Sacha Baron Cohen's heaving lungs. [THR]

The best part? This isn't the first time that this has happened in the show. Apparently, The Big Brother Technical Difficulties Guinea Pig™ made a previous appearance on the show sometime last week. Keep your eyes peeled, he just might pop out again soon!

Feeling left out? There's no reason to, silly! As always, we invite you to play along at home; if you spot a Scrambled Egg that you'd like us to feature, please send an email our way and we'll credit you here on the site. So, with that in mind, please enjoy our second installment.

This, of course, led the show's night-vision cameras to capture some not-exactly-family-viewing activities, available to pervy all-access premium subscribers. (Video above, possibly NSFW.) Upon subsequent viewings, we're stricken by how team Matt and Natalie's bobbing-comforter exploits are rendered even hotter by the snoring accompaniment of an unseen housemate. (Seriously, Julie Chen. Sometimes we have no idea how you preside over all this tawdriness. Do you kiss Les with that mouth?)

• Big Brother 9 [CSBS]

"Rumor has it that Mike "Boogie" Malin (partner of the dolce group and winner of big brother 7) fell thru the skylight last Friday night at Les Deux and was rushed to the hospital."

There was something about hanging out with Jennifer Capriati (the tennis player) after a Van Halen concert in the VIP room at Les Deux, which has access to the roof. Apparently, according to Dolce PR (who's had quite the workout this week, to say the least), Malin decided he had to adjust some Christmas decorations on the roof, misstepped and slipped through the skylight that overlooks the nightclub. Capriati pulled him out, he's fine, but a little sore.

A few inches to the left and this misstep could have wound up far more tragic, taking not only Malin, but a U.S. Open comeback queen with a lightly checkered past who failed to move aside before being crushed beneath him. From now on, Malin will hopefully resist the obsessive-compulsive urge to constantly straighten the festive Les Deux sign reading: "Santa's Lap, That Way (Naughty Girls Only)," accompanied by a flashing arrow pointing to the manager's office.

• More Les Deux Antics: Mike Malin Falls From Roof [Eater LA]

We're tipped off that Mike Malin spent 15 hours in a jail cell following Game 4 of the World Series "for allegedly assaulting a waitress at a local sports bar."

We have no idea what kind of assault, but Dolce Group PR tells us, "Malin is working with his legal team to properly handle the misunderstanding and the charges."

While the details of this "misunderstanding" remain sketchy, we'd put nothing past Malin's well-documented party-animal ways; certainly, calling over a cocktail waitress for a round of Irish Car Bombs—only to have the server come face-to-face with a patron chanting "We're #1! We're #1!," naked save for his swaying, semi-alert member sheathed in a red wool sock—would be the kind of characteristic behavior that might find the local entrepreneur sobering up on the cold metal bench of a Denver jail cell.

• Dolce Owner Celebrates Red Sox Win in Denver Jail [Eater LA]

RNO: Is there anything else you want to tell us about your time in the Big Brother house? [...]

Amber: I made a comment when I was upset with Eric — I made it about Jewish people and people from New York. I just want to tell the people I offended that I am very sorry. I did not mean to offend anybody and I was upset with Eric at the time. Being upset, people tend to say things they don't mean.

That came from a really bad place, and from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry — I send my apologies to anyone I offended. I don't like to hurt people's feelings. The words just came out and I was upset with Eric. I have friends that are Jewish and friends from New York. I am not prejudiced and I am truly truly truly sorry.

As public apologies for temporary attacks of involuntary bigotry go, Amber's seems as heartfelt as they come: We suspect her best Jewish and New York-based friends would readily back up her claims that her hurtful words were merely spoken in retaliation to the backstabbing, money-hungry tactics of America's Fiendish Jew Player Eric (whose sanded devil horns—interested side note!—became plainly visible after he spontaneously shaved his head down to a mohawk).

• "It Was Just Me Being Me in the House" - An Interview with Big Brother 8's Amber [Reality News Online via Reality Blurred]

• Big Brother 8 Amber After Finale Interview [YouTube via RealityTVCafe.com]