I think we've got ourselves a new holiday tradition, kids. And a round of applause, please, to Gawker video intern Rose Annis, who, at our request, took the much-beloved Christmas special - which was preempted so that ABC could air the President's West Point address - and made herself an awesome mashup. Not just anyone can get an assignment like "splice together Peanuts and the deployment of thirty thousand troops" and create a Christmas miracle.

Earlier: A Charlie Brown Christmas Will Not Air Tonight

On the show, it is definitely a space lizard (maybe Balloon Boy's dad's conspiracy theories about lizard people were right all along!), but like a Chicago Tribune review by Glenn Garvin points out, it could also be about our nerd president.

Welcome to ABC's "V," the most fascinating and bound to be the most controversial new show of the fall television season. Nominally a rousing sci-fi space opera about alien invaders bent on the conquest (and digestion) of all humanity, it's also a barbed commentary on Obamamania that will infuriate the president's supporters and delight his detractors.

Anna is the beautiful and charming leader of the aliens—knows as V's because they are visitors—and she tells the world that her people can fix everything that is wrong with society. She has the liberal media brainwashed, and they all go along with stories about how great and wonderful she is. Of course, there is a fringe group who rebel against her and want to expose them as the evil-doing, reptile skinned, foreigners that they really are. Of course, these are the heroes of the show. Wow, that really does sound like the teabaggers! There's even a religious rebel named Father Jack, which is basically an anagram of George W. Bush.

It certainly wouldn't be new for a sci-fi series to be an allegory about modern society (Battlestar Galactica, anyone?) but it would be sort of odd for a sci-fi show on a major network to give credence to tactics and delusions of the far right. The birthers will be lapping up a show about a foreign-born president who comes to snatch society out of their clutches, and Glenn Back and his cronies will love to see a media that is overtaken by liberals and keeps the truth away from the "real Americans." But what will everyone else think?

The sci-fi culture usually veers to the left in its political allegory (again, see Battlestar or this summer's upbeat Star Trek that was an endorsement for the hopeful future that the Obama administration promised to usher in). The original 1983 miniseries that the show is based on was an anti-fascist message that preyed on "the aliens are coming, the aliens are coming" invasion fears of the Cold War. This is what it has been warped into. We find it hard to believe that thinly-veiIed conservative propaganda will find a strong foothold with the core sci-fi audience, and as for those leaning to the right, they tend to like their entertainment much more straightforward. Why try to figure out what all those lizard people mean when they can just watch Jack Bauer bash people's heads in on 24? That's their idea of fun.

Our prognosis, keep picking on the president and the only letters that V will get are D.O.A.

Calling it the "Obama Effect," Common claims the Commander-in-Chief has helped guide rappers away from bombastic consumerism and "gangsta talk," which we thought went out the window ages ago.

I also don't find as much gangsta talk. You see the whole chain-shining-and-rim era is gone. That's like super-played out. Just to have that, I think, is part of the Obama effect.

This hypothesis, of course, supports Common's previous claims to CNN that Obama's election would bring a more positive attitude to the genre. So it's all very convenient, although it seems to us that the crippled economy and a pervasive exhaustion for ostentatious displays had more to do with this trend than Obama himself. But, still, let's all sing his praises, anyway!

By the way, Common was speaking at an arts event sponsored by Hennessy, a drink that was emblematic of the attitudes Common claims are fading away.

But seriously, which is a more revolting thought — that Obama actually gave his digits to Jeremy Piven, or that Piven never even bothered to write the numbers down or save them into his phone?

There has long been tension between the White House and the networks, who don't like having their excruciatingly calibrated schedules torn up by politicians for political purposes. So when Obama scheduled a press conference to discuss his health care proposals for 9 p.m. tomorrow night, which would seriously screw up the networks' plans, the networks led by last-place NBC balked, obliging Obama to move it to 8 o'clock. And Fox, like they did for Obama's last primetime presser, just told the White House to fuck off, but that's a different story.

In any case, in describing the programming scramble caused by the press conference, The Hollywood Reporter pretty much sums up why no one watches broadcast TV any more:

The stakes were particularly high for NBC, which airs the most-watched show of the summer, "America's Got Talent," at 9 p.m. This week, the reality hit includes a heavily promoted interview with "Britain's Got Talent" singing sensation Susan Boyle.... ABC News often has the highest-rated coverage of Obama's primetime events and ABC was leaning toward carrying the conference all day. In one respect, the shift to 8 p.m. could make their night more tricky. ABC's highest-rated reality show, "Wipeout," will be pushed to 9 p.m. to face "America's Got Talent" along with "So You Think You Can Dance," with "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" moved to 10 p.m. The ABC News special "Over a Barrel: The Truth About Oil," originally slated for 10 p.m. Wednesday, will air Friday as a special edition of "20/20."

Fox airs its top-rated two-hour "So You Think You Can Dance" on Wednesday nights and will direct viewers to Fox News for the news conference.

That's right, television executives were willing to face down the White House over Susan Boyle and retreads of Japanese game shows where people bathe in squids and razor blades. The last time this happened, when George W. Bush scheduled a presser on the first day of May sweeps in 2005, they forced him to change the start time over CSI, Will & Grace, and The O.C. That's how far they've fallen. In their defense, summer has become the traditional time for vile reality TV. But the fact that NBC essentially told Barack Obama, "We are not going to take your press conference at 9 p.m. because we have to air a deranged foreign lady and amateur vocalist" is a good measure of just how desperate they are.

The solution of course, is to just break up the press conferences with ad slots. It's an engaged, Tivo-proof audience, and there are dozens of brands out there that would love to be associated with Obama. Back in February, his 8 p.m. presser netted NBC 9.75 million viewers—2 million more than stuck around for Heroes an hour later.

The meeting—with White House advisers but not, mercifully, Obama himself—was ostensibly about "soliciting ideas for selling [Obama's] public service message." But because Silverman is unctuous and gross, it was really about getting press, and the appearance of a White House impramatur, for The Philanthropist, which Silverman bought without seeing a pilot and which the Miami Herald's Glenn Garvin says "may be worst show ever."

Silverman went to the White House with The Philanthropist's producer Tom Fontana and its star James Purefoy. Because he exactly the kind of guy who would call you from the White House to say "Dude, guess where I am right now!", he called Cindy Adams to say, "Dude, guess where I am right now!":

From his cellphone in the White House East Reception Room, Silverman told me:

"We're responding to Obama's request to bring the entertainment industry into White House initiatives."

Which, basically, means what?

"Nixon established an Office of Public Liaison. Such public engagement now will help the president's outreach to Hollywood to spread his message of science, education, math, technology, engineering and public service. We're committed to getting young people engaged, and our new summer drama will encompass these story lines."

Yes, that's right, The Philanthropist is "encompassing" the White House's "story lines."

Ben Silverman is an awful person who makes shitty TV and is about to get fired by Jeff Zucker, an even worse person who also makes shitty TV. Barack Obama's White House was supposed to be all about Camelot Revisited, with poets and philosophers roaming the halls and dancing with one another to jazz and wearing tuxedos. The man who staked his network on trying to hire Rod Blagojevich to hang out with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is an obscene intrusion into that noble vision. Now he's probably running around talking about "my friend Barry Obama" and pitching the White House on Michelle Obama doing a "Now You Know" PSA—maybe about organic food? We could partner with Whole Foods!

Mr. President, this man is beneath you. Let him, and all his awful television shows, go away quietly.

'Cause the world is mean and dangerous and bitter, and America used to be strong, but Obama's ruining it with his pansy-assness.

At least we think that's what Voight was trying to say. The Anaconda star basically launched into a tone poem about world leaders at a playground or something, so it's a little hard to tell.

One thing is for certain, though. If anyone can scare the president, it's Voight. I mean, he made FDR walk for God's sake.

As you can see in TV By The Numbers' chart below, Fox's crime serial Lie to Me beat everyone, with nearly 8 million viewers and a 2.3 share. So Rupert Murdoch probably isn't too hurt that Obama snubbed Major Garrett of Fox News, who never got called on for a question like he did at the first two pressers.

That said, Obama beat Fox, if you add together his numbers on the other broadcast networks, and netted a respectable 29 million total viewers (including cable). And that's with questions from Ed Henry and Chuck Todd, who were not banned, or ritualistically flayed, this time. The American people really do have incredible fortitude.

Yes, this Wednesday, when every other channel in the country is playing the president babbling about the Swine Flu Bailout Budget or whatever, you, the educated television viewer, will not have to miss one all-new minute of Lie to Me, a.k.a. "House But He Got to Keep His Accent and He Solves Crimes."

Has a broadcast network ever refused to air a presidential news conference before? Well yes, probably the WB. But god, we dream of a world in which Obama preempted the American Idol results show, forcing them to just fucking tell us who lost, during a commercial break, without K.C. and Lady GaGa and David Cook getting all up in our business.

(Unrelated:

The three networks have evaluated Mr. Obama very similarly: 57% positive comments on ABC, 58% positive on CBS, and 61% positive on NBC. But he fared far better in New York Times stories, where nearly three out of four evaluative comments (73%) by sources and reporters were favorable. And he fared far worse on Fox News, where only one out of eight such comments (13%) were favorable.

What a simplistic way of evaluating media coverage of a public figure! Also, Fox is evil and bad.)

Ok!
"Idol Wars."
This incredibly boring story about how maybe Kara DioGuardi and Paula Abdul may not get along contains the following quote: "During breaks, Simon, Randy and Paula would leave the table to talk to the crowd or get food, leaving Kara to swivel in her chair," an onlooker tells Ok!. "Kara was the odd man out." Sniff! Moving on: If you looove Robert Pattinson, there are some pictures of him inside. Also inside: Neighbors overheard Lindsay Lohan in her house, yelling: "Mom, stop it! Enough! Quit it!" Apparently Dina was trying to get Lindsay to go to rehab. Next: Since Brad Pitt drives his kids to school now, moms on Long Island are getting dressed up! "They usually wear sweatpants, but now they're all decked out," a source says. Lastly, Marie Osmond says: "I'm the original Octomom!"
Grade: F (fire ants)

Life & Style
"Twilight Heartbreak."
The mag claims that Robert Pattinson has been hooking up with costar Nikki Reed. A source says: "Rob's been flirting with everyone on set, in front of Nikki, even though they've been sleeping together." But! "He can get any girl on set except Kristen [Stewart]." Anyway, Rob and Nikki have been fighting on set and OMG DRAMZ. Oh, look, a "poor Jennifer Aniston" story! This one is called "Jen's Struggle With Aging" and says: "She's having a problem with the fact that her character [in The Baster] who is trying to pregnant ages from 40 to 48 in the movie. 'She keeps saying it's not believable because she looks much younger,' says the insider. 'She asked the make-up artist what high-tech effects they're going to use to age her, and she was disappointed to learn there aren't any.'" Sad! Nadya Suleman says "I only slept 2 hours last night," and a doctor who does not treat her says, "Most people need between six and eight hours of sleep in some form." Really? You don't say! The Kardashians have a "dream house" now because their other house was too small or something. "The other house just felt so crowded," Kendall Kardashian says. The new mansion has six bedrooms and eight baths. This week in Dr. Rey's Casebook, it's "Who Has The Best Butt In Hollywood." [Fig. 1] The doctor says, "Most people would need a surgical solution like butt implants to achieve Beyoncé's look." Also, Mischa Barton would look better with AnnaLynne McCord's ass. There's an interview with Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson, who says: "Anyone can have a teeny-tiny body." She may feel this way because she is five feet tall and 91 lbs. What if you are six feet or have different genetics, hmm?
Grade: D- (bed bugs)

In Touch
"How We Keep Our Love Alive."
There's nothing new in this cover story — lots of stuff about Barack and Michelle's exes, and the quotes come from Ladies Home Journal, O: The Oprah Magazine and Essence. But one awesome thing is this prom picture of Michelle [Fig 2]. Moving on: The mag uses a quote from Scarlett Johansson's Huffington Post rant against how tabloids comment on her weight as a diet tip. Breaking: Brad and Angelina haven't been seen together in 48 days! Uh-oh, Britney's man, backup dancer Chase Benz, has a girlfriend. Chase's mom talked to the mag from her home in Tennessee, saying: "He has a girlfriend that lives here in Tennessee. They've been dating for three years. She is 21 like Chase. And she is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside… Britney is a pretty girl but his girlfriend has nothing to worry about." Guess who is getting half of Mel Gibson's $900 million estate? His wife! There's no pre-nup… A story called "It's Baby Time!" claims that Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry might adopt and Heidi Klum is four months pregnant. Next up: When Lindsay Lohan was out partying recently, she asked her friends to call her "Eleanor." But she denies this. Lisa Rinna on posing for Playboy at 45: "I hope it inspires women to feel good about themselves in their 40s, that you can still be viable and sexy." Another "Poor Jen" story! Ms. Aniston had "several secret meetings" with Gerard Butler because they're planning to star in a movie together. But Gerard is a "fame-seeker," and a "player" who "won't commit" so Jen is "picking the wrong man again." Jen's been calling her friends and crying, saying she can't stand to be alone. The mag helpfully points out that even though Jen ranked above Angelina on a list of celebrity salaries, "money can't buy love." Feel like stalking? Nicole Richie, Heidi Klum, Isla Fisher, Gwen Stefani and Jessica Alba all take their kids to "Hollywood's Hottest Playground," which is Coldwater Canyon Park in Beverly Hills. WOO HOO: Fourteen months after separating, Pink and Carey Hart are getting married again! A friend says they want to have a ceremony at their house in Malibu on the beach at sunset. Awww.
Grade: D+ (fleas)

Us
"Inside The $900 Million Split."
Mel Gibson has been cheating on his wife with a Russian musician named Oksana, who is on his music label. He also shot one of her videos. This story is illustrated with a picture of Mel kissing Oksana on a beach in Costa Rica. Moving on: Lindsay emailed Us and said: "These accusations of me being crazy are not only inadequate but absurd." The mag says she was out partying with her mom and drank 7 cocktails in less than 2 hours and couldn't even stand up; she counters: "I don't drink for quite some time now." As for the cutting, she says: "Hahaha… I'm not a cutter." She also defended her mother clubbing with her: "My mother is amazing and she came here to be here for me." Next: The mag claims that when Rihanna saw pictures of Chris Brown with a new ladyfriend, she sent him a text message, and he replied, "It's none of your business." An article called "Meet Bo Obama!" has a quote from a trainer who worked with Bo: "I have worked with a lot of dogs, and Bo is incredibly bright and sensitive. He has an excellent memory. He'd pick up a stick on a walk, drop it, then on the way back he would use his nose and go right to the same stick, which I found amazing." Lastly, in a story called "Palin Family Feud," the mag talks to Bristol's hairdresser and "friend" LaVancha Lankford, who says: "Bristol was shocked [that Levi's sister spoke to a tabloid]." A source claims that Levi Johnston has hooked up with a girl named Khori Elder, who has her lip pierced, and whose Facebook profile says "every girl needs a man to make her weak." This magazine also had a pull-out poster of Britney's Candie's ad in it, which we plan to hang in our non-existent locker.
Grade: C- (ticks)

Star
"Angelina Pregnant Again!"
A "family insider" says "Yes, Angie is pregnant. They've been trying for another baby for months, but it was still a total shock when she found out. Brad and Angie have been fighting so much lately it just doesn't seem possible." Another source says "It happened just in time because things were getting ugly between them." Wanna know all about the moment she told Brad? "Angie met him by the front door, looking gorgeous, and told him she was having a baby. Brad was shocked at first, I mean, he was just stunned. He literally swept Angelina off her feet and carried her into the house. He was laughing and crying and kissing her. It was very emotional for them both." Anyway this baby has put an end the the feuding and even though she's only two and a half months along, they're trying to decide where the kid will be born. Brad wants New Orleans. And! Angelina is craving Twinkies, just so you know. Next: Rupert Everett has done something to his face. [Fig. 3]. A doctor who does not treat him says: "I think Rupert had a face lift. His cheeks are fuller and lifted, and his jawline and neck are pulled back and smoother." Oh, and a chin implant. The forehead? Botox. Pink and Carey Hart have agreed never to be away from each other for more than 2 weeks. Make it work! Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr went out to dinner with Ed's parents when they visited from England. Is Fergie losing her hair [Fig. 4]? Blind item: "Which actor needs to give his nose a break? His coke-heavy 'model parties' have already sent him to the hospital once recently, but he can't stop being host to starlets." Twilight gossip: "Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed are competing for Rob's attention," says a source. Apparently they both like him and are "headed for a major showdown." Robert Pattinson has been visiting both of their hotel rooms. David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are totes back together and the mag has pictures of them dancing closely, embracing each other in the Caribbean. Here's a great quote from a story about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline: "Kevin misses Britney and her intrigue. She's the only woman who keeps his mind in suspense and constant turmoil. And Kevin misses the everyday fun of it." Miley Cyrus has a "secret brother" whom she never sees. His name is Christopher Cyrus, he's 17, and he lives with his mom and stepdad in Texas. Apparently Billy Ray fathered this kid right before Miley; they're less than 8 months apart. Levi Johnston' sister Mercede spoke to star again, saying, "My dad is determined to get 50/50 custody of Tripp for Levi. He's going to fight for it."
Grade: C (mosquitoes)

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Halperin, who inflicted The Note on the world before moving to Time, sold an option HBO Films to turn into a movie his forthcoming 2008 campaign book Game Change, even though that book is effectively an extended correction on his last book.

The studio, which does projects for both the eponymous premium cable channel and the big screen, has already hired a writer (Charles Leavitt) to do the screen adaptation.

Halperin will serve as a consultant to the movie, alongside John Heilemann, the New York magazine political writer he's been blessed to have as a co-author on the book. HBO will need all the help it can get: Like the book, the film Game Change will attempt to track three campaigns and five politicians

Usually a movie like this would take you behind the scenes of a campaign, but there's only so deep you can go when you're hopping between Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin and John McCain. (Sad Joe Biden will apparently be reduced to a bit part.) Maybe HBO is thinking miniseries.

In any case, it will be fun to watch the casting decisions unfold, and to relive the 2008 campaign through the eyes of a man who thought John McCain was on fire the week he said "the fundamentals of our economy are strong." Maybe we'll find out he was right after all.

Gore Verbinski, who's directed some of the biggest hits in Hollywood from Mousehunt to The Mexican (oh, kidding, also The Ring) will not direct the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He directed the first three, but now he's done. He wants to take time to sit down, have a glass of red wine, gather his creative thoughts, and do something artistic. Like directing Bioshock, a movie based on a videogame. One for us, one for you, Gore. [Variety] Meanwhile Larry Charles, the fellow behind Borat, Bruno, and Curb Your Enthusiasm, has settled on his next movie. It's called Winter's Discontent. And it's about old people fucking. So. [Variety]

The sexy hunk of undead flesh from Moonlight, Alex O'Loughlin, has landed the starring role in the next Jennifer Q. Lopez film. It's about artificial insemination and, one would assume, big butts. [Variety] Sexy glowing green hunk of space rocks Leah Remini, who whirs like a spaceship and can speak Venusian, has landed a role in the hilarious-sounding ABC comedy pilot Don't Try This at Home (like the warning thing from things!). It's about, get this wacky plot, marriage and relationships and having kids in the suburbia and stuff. I know it sounds really out there, but give it a chance. I mean, we need new ideas in these worrisome times. [THR]

Notoriously short actor Al Pacino will be playing notoriously short warmonger Napoleon in a new film to be directed by the guy who did The Painted Veil. I just want to see Pacino in the hat. That's all. [THR] Speaking of power-mad world leaders who will stop at nothing to slake their unslakable bloodthirst, Sony has picked up international distribution rights for the new documentary We the People: The Election of Barack Obama. The filmmaker, sadly, has been missing since he turned in a print of the polemic to his producers, six months ago. He's expected to be found in a ditch somewhere in Colombia, his head cut off. Because that's the kind of guy Obama is. Just awful. [THR]

A recent union hearing left the actor unscathed, so the producers have pressed on to arbitration, the dates for which were announced Wednesday (June 8 and 9). This prompted the release of a lengthy statement from Piven, explaining that his poisoned sushi is seriously a really, really big major health issue, since he may have nearly had a heart attack, hypothetically, but also because the president said so:

Mr. Piven is looking forward to testifying in Arbitration along with his doctors so that the truth comes out about the very health serious risks caused by Mercury exposure, which the Obama administration has recently described as the world's gravest chemical problem.

It's true: The White House said just that (sans odd Capitalization) when calling for a global mercury-limit treaty last month, according to the Associated Press. Then it specifically mentioned fetuses and children as being at risk.

It's worth noting, though, that there's juuuust enough scientific chatter about fish-based mercury poisoning in adults to make Piven's story plausible, if you ignore his sketchy doctor and past behavior.

Piven's medical records might help settle the question, but the actor demanded the producers sign a confidentiality agreement before they could access them. Which makes sense, because if Piven's M.D.s made house calls, lord only knows what sort of raw meat they saw being devoured.

(Pic: Piven at an Obama fundraiser in Chicago, June 2007. Getty.)

A movie star can get away with a quote like that; worst-case scenario, the publicist issues a clarification the next day.

Barack Obama, though, is going to have to contend with furious advocates for the mentally disabled. That's why his press team was backing off the comments before Jay Leno's show was over. (A clip of the comment is above. Notice Leno stammering as he processes what just happened.)

This is just like that time Obama made a comment about Nancy Reagan convening seances at a news conference right after he was elected. Isn't Joe Biden supposed to be the gaffey one?

MSNBC talking head Keith Olbermann and Late Late Show host Colin Ferguson were wringing their hands over the Special Olympics comment earlier tonight (see video above).

Gotcha variety-show-watching aside, most Americans have bigger things to worry about than whether the president inadvertently offended the athletic prowess of the mentally disabled. But then they probably also have bigger things to worry about than the other topics covered by Leno and Obama: puppies, bowling or flying on Air Force One (see NBC highlights reel below). So net-net it's hard to see much upside in this Tonight Show appearance for Obama.

It's like the president recruited his image handlers from the Special Ol... well, like they're differently abled, adept at Beltway positioning, unprepared for Hollywood sound stages.

James seems awfully sore that Beyonce got the Inauguration nod instead of her, and made no bones about that fact at a concert last week in Seattle. "I can't stand Beyoncé," she muttered to the audience. "She has no business standing up there singing that song." James also threatened violence toward the singer and claimed that Obama was "not my president," a Secret Service-tempting taunt that the audience, so ready to hoot at Beyoncé, knew less what to make of. Beware, Miss Knowles: when the full moon wanes, and a suddenly-itchy leather bustier signals your transformation from Sasha Fierce back into the terribly ordinary Beyoncé, Etta James will be ready to pounce!

• AUDIO-Etta James to Beyoncé: I'll Whoop Your Ass! [YouTube]

Not that "Obama message echoes at Oscar time," a think-piece published this morning, offers the cramp-inducing logical stretch of EW's trailblazing "How Obama Helps Batman" from last November. But it does exhaustively unpack pretty much every other zeitgeist-y scenario you probably hadn't thought of, from the president's message of hope not-so-coincidentally resonating throughout Milk, or the angst of the post-Bush era rewarding the totemic power critique that is Frost/Nixon.

The hell with the also-rans, though. To paraphrase a common query accompanying so many contemporary world affairs: Is it good for the Slumdog? Well, sort of; that film's front-runner status evidently owes more to Rocky's feel-good example 32 years ago than to anything Obama has done since his election. Which, of course, only reaffirms the likelihood that three decades from now, we'll all wonder what the Academy was thinking when it could have rewarded something actually, like, good.

Like any of it matters anyway — everybody knows that Jon Stewart sets the Oscar agenda these days.

• Obama message echoes at Oscar time [Variety]

Here is his scandalous theory, as told to New York:

“I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming told us. “I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size.”

Cumming developed this theory, he says, through extensive research. “So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows.”

And his highly trained eye says Obama is hung. “Well, just look at him,” Professor Cumming explained. “Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself.”

“Also,” Alan added as an afterthought, “someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big.”

We suppose that only Michelle knows for sure (though we can confirm Cumming's correlation of self-assurance to large endowments—you should see how Mr. Defamer conducts himself around Lifehacker, Gizmodo, and Jezebel. Let's just say that when he confidently leaves the room, he isn't the only one with a raised eyebrow).

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Alan Cumming Says Barack Obama Has a Big Wang [New York]