Gawker: defamer, artie lange

To Avoid Stale Olsen Twin Jokes, Artie Lange Checks Into Rehab

Kyle Buchanan — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:20:10 EDT

After winding his way through a media-sponsored meltdown that saw him terrorize Conan O'Brien, endure torture on Donnie Deutsch, and ultimately resign from the Howard Stern show, comedian Artie Lange pulled out of the Bob Saget roast this past weekend to check himself into rehab. Says Page Six:

Artie Lange, who's long overindulged with drugs and drink, was scheduled to attend close pal Bob Saget's Comedy Central roast on Sunday night, but never made it to LA. Instead, he checked himself into an intensive outpatient rehab program. A source said Lange "felt awful for not being there for Bob, but needed to make his health a priority."

...Meanwhile, teen star Shia LaBeouf may also be headed to rehab. LaBeouf broke his hand in a car accident last week and while it was not his fault, he was charged with DUI, his second arrest since November. Rehab can lead to reduced charges. "Judges like to see it," said a source. His rep would only say, "Right now, we're focusing on Shia's hand."

Fortunately for Shia's rep, there's a little less to focus on now. Still, allow us to express our best wishes to Lange in rehab — in fact, he probably dodged a bullet by entering when he did. It can't have been an easy decision to miss the Bob Saget roast, but after watching this clip of Cloris Leachman coming onto John Stamos, we're about to seek mental help ourselves.

REHAB FOR STERN SIDEKICK [Page Six]

Jonah Hill Is Workin' on His Fitness!

Douglas Reinhardt — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EDT

boomp3.com

Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jonah Hill's initial baby steps into a regular work out routine were thwarted by a nosy photographer. Hill politely asked if the photographer could leave him alone, seeing as how Hill had successfully finished his first block. Unfortunately for all parties involved, the photographer said no and offered Hill the halfway melted Snickers bar in his SUV. Hill continued on his walk, but the ever-persistent photog asked if Hill wanted to make a run to Crumbs in Beverly Hills, adding in that it would be his treat. Hill sighed and continued on with his power walk, then muttered, "Any other day, I'd be there. But you know, I'm working hard not to be the Artie Lange of the Apatow gang."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

A Week Of False Terribles

Mark Graham — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:00:00 EDT

As we put this week to bed, it's time to reflect, project, deflect and genuflect on the week that was...
· Big week for Gorgeous George Clooney. His passion project, Leatherheads,
disappointed at the box office (twice!), he was on the receiving end of a threatening phone call and his sand-loving girlfriend turned his bachelor pad into Yankee Candle outlet. Ah, who are we kidding? He can still pull digits with the best of 'em.
· Ellen Page butched it up on Leno and may (or may not!) have dissed Hanoi Jane.
· Certainly, Tom Cruise has had better weeks. MGM tried to spin Valkyrie's second release date pushback as a B.O. ploy, but we knew better.
· Artie Lange and Charlton Heston both had shitty weeks, too. Artie resigned from the Howard Stern Show and Charlton, well, he died.
· The hackiest hack that ever hacked, Uwe Boll, found himself on the wrong end of an online petition that might just end his career (fingers crossed!). Howevs, he was able to leverage the power of the internet to fight back ... twice!
· It was Musical Chairs week at Hollywood's biggest talent agencies. Bob DeNiro bolted from CAA (spurring a hilarious poison pen post from the Death Star), Nick Stevens led one of "the biggest agent migrations in years" when he bolted from UTA to Endeavor and a finch with a mean streak wreaked havoc at CAA shortly after Ashton Kutcher became the agency's newest client.
· Teri Hatcher and Clint Black learned that they're both better off sticking with their day jobs.
· After publicly (and somewhat shadily) announcing that he and his wife were victims of an alleged extortion attempt by his nanny, Rob Lowe displayed the keen ability to turn an adjective into a noun when he coined the term "false terribles."

Artie Lange Quits Stern Show (Again), Cementing His Top Ranking On Celebrity Deathwatch

Mark Graham — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

While we haven't been avid listeners of Howard Stern since he made the switch to Sirius a few years back (call us crazy or even cheap, but we're morally opposed to paying for radio), we still follow the show pretty closely. And as anyone who has been paying attention knows, Stern sidekick Artie Lange has been on a self-destructive streak for the better part of the last nine or so months. His weight has been ballooning, his already prolific drug habit has only gotten worse and his on-air behavior has become more erratic than ever before. However, things reached Defcon 6 levels on today's show when Artie flew into a rage, got into a physical confrontation with his personal assistant and abruptly (and from the sounds of it, tearily) resigned from the show. Audio of the incident follows after the jump.

It goes without saying that we are all very concerned for Artie's well-being at the moment. His recent appearances on Conan O'Brien and the Donny Deutsch Show were clear indications that all is not well in Artie's world, particularly on the substance abuse front. And with the show going on a scheduled weeklong hiatus, it's safe to say that the guys over at Artie Lange Deathwatch will be constantly monitoring Lange's behavior for the next 10 or so days. Here's hoping that Artie is able to hold it together and refrain from going on the kind of bender that felled the likes of Belushi and Farley. We're pulling for you Artie.

~~Here's the audio of this morning's meltdown~~ Sorry, the original audio we posted here was removed. But thanks to commenter cockfightbarmitzvah, you can now listen to the audio below in the comment section.

Listen: Artie Lange Quits Howard Stern Audio [Popcrunch]

Homeless Lady Gets Touchy-Feely With Up & Coming Actress

Douglas Reinhardt — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EDT

boomp3.com

Actress Sophie Monk, who's perhaps best known for dating that one guy from Good Charlotte and more recently pint size American Idol presenter Ryan Seacrest, was accosted by a homeless woman in Beverly Hills. The homeless woman told Monk that she could do so much better than Seacrest and some mall punk guy. Monk played dumb as the woman literally attempted to shake some sense into her. "You have your whole future ahead of you. Don't settle now because other wise you're going to end up on Vh1 trying to date Bret Michaels or, worse, Artie Lange."

[Photo Credit: X17]

Donny Deutsch Uses Controversial Cupcakeboarding Technique To Get Artie Lange To Speak

Seth — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:44:22 EDT

We've never tuned in to The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, having assumed the CNBC show featuring the ad exec and Speedo aficionado was just a pointless platform for a Type A, macho metrosexual to get his fame-fix on. Imagine our shock, then, when we tuned in to find beloved, self-destructive comic Artie Lange—looking heavier and more heart-attack-prone than ever—being subjected to a cupcakeboarding rendition at the hands of his merciless, pink-necktied inquisitor.

The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch [CNBC]
Artie Lange on The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch - 03-27-08 [YouTube]

Artie Lange Rockets To Top Of Celebrity DeathWatch List!

nickm — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 17:03:03 EST

Last night on Conan, Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange showed us exactly why he's become one of the most reliably effed up talk show guests to come down the pike in a long while. After making fun of previous guest Randy Jackson, Artie proceeded to explain why he's called in sick to the Stern show for the past few days. Here's a hint: he ran out of cocaine!

Artie then launched into drug-fueled monologue that left Conan awkwardly trapped like a deer in the headlights. And when the red-headed host tried to steer the conversation into more television-friendly waters, Lange still couldn't resist giving a shout-out to "tight joints" and crystal meth. There haven't been this many hardcore drug references on TV since H.R. Puffnstuff. We'd suggest that Artie check himself into rehab pronto if he weren't so darn funny this way. All hail the white Tracy Morgan.

Late Night With Conan O'Brien [NBC]