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Gilded, Naked Paris Hilton Hawks Bubbly-In-A-Can

Mark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:30:54 EST

In a bold return to the semi-controversial product endorsement activities of her infamous, burger-fellating past, the dependably quasi-outrageous Paris Hilton has traded the sickly green of her iconic, night-vision enhanced figure-modeling work for a glittering gold in an attempt to sell the product of a champagne-in-a-can concern Rich Prosecco.

The concept, as far as we can tell: Beset by an angry public finally fed up with her ubiquity and slathered head to toe in gilded paint symbolic of her privileged upbringing, Hilton is cast out into the Mojave desert, where only a shimmering, sparkling pool of Rich Prosecco sustains the rapidly dehydrating heiress until she can be rescued by a search party of Us Weekly, Page Six and InTouch editors distressed by her sudden disappearance from their pages. The campaign, we predict, will be an unqualified triumph, driving sales that quickly eclipse those of Sofia Coppola's passe line of canned alcoholic beverages.

Naked Paris is a golden wonder [The Sun UK]
Previously: Paris Hilton Gets Her Mouth Around Carl's Junior [Defamer]

Rehab Center To Lohan: Come With Us If You Want To Live

Mark — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:41:38 EDT

Even though there's still no publicly scheduled end to Lindsay Lohan's stint at Cirque Lodge (corporate motto: "When Malibu's Promises are broken, head to the mountains of Utah."), other rehabilitation centers need to stay proactive if they hope to win the troubled actress's business following her next coke-panted, hostage-taking relapse.

In an ad in today's NY Post, the Canterbury Institute makes a bold pitch to be Lohan's choice once she deletes the fearless moral inventories she made during her time in threehab from her Blackberry and leaps from the wagon, perhaps hoping that their eye-catching DON'T DIE LINDSAY! headline's proximity to an item about how she once ganked Steve-O's blow will demonstrate that they really "get" her.

Also: Canterbury wasn't the first rehab outfit to use a celebrity-tie in to advertise their medical approach to addiction treatment.

Previously: Annals Of Advertising: Dead Celebrities Want You To Kick The Habit [Defamer]

What the central

Mark — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:49:01 EDT

What the central "pig on a pedestal" metaphor of the Discover Channel's anti-celebrity-worship ad campaign for Dirty Jobs lacks in subtlety, it certainly makes up in its essential truth: E! has just announced it's signed both the pig and the pedestal for a six-episode reality series; the exact concept is still TBD, but it's believed they'll be sending the charismatic duo to be counselors at a fat camp. [Copyranter]