This Week In Tabloids: Angie's "So Lonely" & The Jersey Shore Kids Are Injecting Tanner

Every Wednesday, we read the tabloids so you don't have to. This week, Angie's pregnant (again), Jen takes a break from pining for Brad to host a chili cook-off, and we learn how to achieve an unhealthy glow Jersey Shore-style. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Tiger & Jessica's Non-Hookup; Angie's "Pregnancy Personality"

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Margaret and I read the tabloids so you don't "have" to. This week, we learn a "shocking" story about Tiger and Jessica. Angelina is desperate and pregnant. Oh, and Rihanna and Justin sealed the deal. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angie & Brad Help Jen Adopt; Tiger's Titillating Texts

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for hot "news" in the celeb tabloids. This week: Read Tiger's lurid text messages and find out how Angelina is helping Jen adopt a little Mexican kid. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Tiger's Mistress, Lindsay's Coke Buddy, Britney's Pregnancy

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we stroll the fairways of the celeb tabloids. Last week, Star reported Tiger was cheating, this week we learn more. Also: Lindsay's doing coke and Britney found out she's pregnant. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we take a walk through the celebrity weeklies, in search of entertaining gossip. This week: Britney's beach wedding; Katie's leaving Tom; Angie and Johnny are planning to make out and shower together. Naked. [Jezebel]

Angelina Jolie's Face Spurs Massive Internet Dialogue

Sometimes in the movie business you have to work hard for your publicity and sometimes you can just let the world know the buffet is open and start serving. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina's Adoption & Drug Rumors; Tom Talks To Ashtrays

Every Wednesday, we gobble up the tabloids in search of "news." This week, four out of five covers feature Angelina Jolie, with more about her pending adoption, her idyllic life in France and her cruel, hypocritical behavior. [Jezebel]

Angelina To Adopt Baby No. 7

Angelina Jolie has reportedly begun the process to adopt a seventh child from Syria. But she signed the papers alone, which naturally leads to some speculation. [Jezebel]

Hollywood's Recession Is Over, Declares Murdoch

Just like Murdoch to go and ruin everything for everyone. Just when the studios had a great excuse with this recession thing to slash salaries and fire everyone in sight, along comes Rupert singing "Happy Days are Here Again." More »

This Week In Tabloids: Details On Angie's Lesbian Affair & Lindsay's Face

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I wade through murky tabloid "news": This week, Angelina's juggling two chicks, six kids and stoned Brad; booze, cigarettes and cosmetic fillers have ruined Lindsay Lohan's face. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad Crashes Motorcycle Rushing To Jen; Celebs ♥ Nose Jobs

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I snack on gossip from In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Us and Star. This week, Brad and Angie were married in a ceremony officiated by Maddox — then Brad bolted. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Lindsay's Coke- & Booze-Fueled Suicide Allegations

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I harvest gossip from the fields of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Star. Ahead, a cornucopia of "news" about the Jolie-Pitt chaos, TonKat's crisis and Lindsay's wrists. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Justin & Rihanna Plan Hookup; Kardashian Wedding "World Exclusive"

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I "read" In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Us and Ok!. This week we learned that JT and Rihanna are on, dancing makes you thin, and bridesmaid dresses shouldn't be skin-tight. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angie Humiliates Brad; Sarah Palin Plots Divorce

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret assists in deciphering the secret codes in the weekly tabloids. The job was easier this week, as OK! could not be found on stands. Humiliation, divorce and nude pix rumors ahead. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jon Gosselin Tells All; John Mayer Sexts Jess & Jen

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we learn that with the cash In Touch paid Jon Gosselin for an exclusive interview, the father of eight can buy a truckload of fugly T-shirts. Margaret assists in our tabloid roundup, ahead. [Jezebel]

Breaking: Hollywood Still Out of New Ideas

Word out of Comic-Con is that the movie biz is spending their precious resources on Pirates of the Caribbean 4, Batman 3, Wanted 2 (sans Angelina Jolie), and The Strangers 2. Suddenly, K-Pax sequel has fingers crossed for greenlight. [Popwrap]

What Could Be Better Than an Asteroids Movie?

Actresses make a lot of money. As do movie studios who adapt video games into terrible movies. A great actor died, a promising actress takes wing, and new reality shows make us want to do terrorism. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina's Twins Are Sick; Real Housewife Sex Tape Secrets

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! It's been a long time since every single magazine had a different main image. Inside? Mostly the same old bullshit. We did learn new details about Angelina's babies, Aniston's date and a Gosselin tell-all book. [Jezebel]

Prominent Feminist Explains Why Angelina Jolie Is Best Thing, Ever

Angelina Jolie was named Forbes' "most powerful celeb in the world" last week. Naomi Wolf, in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar (?) thinks it's cuz Brangie "brings together almost every aspect of female empowerment and liberation." Or something like that. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Kate Wore A Bikini & Twilight Stars Are In Love

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where, according to the tabloid covers, only two things are newsworthy: Kate Gosselin's "revenge" bikini body; and whether the stars of Twilight are hooking up. [Jezebel]