<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, ang lee]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, ang lee]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/anglee http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/anglee <![CDATA[The Pool Movies That Ruined a Generation's Greatest Directors]]> Remember the 90's? The decade when America ran out of cocaine and was forced to go to the movies instead? Some of those movies were really good! So why did those filmmakers turn out to be so disappointing?

There was a ton big budget slop but there was also a hefty amount of grit.
Movies like Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, Memento, L.A. Confidential, aw hell, even Fight Club were a great mix of pulp and substance.

With dynamos like Quentin Tarantino leading the charge, it looked as though Hollywood had a new surge of quality filmmakers. If you remember all that then you certainly remember the sense of betrayal you felt when you heard something, like, say Robert Rodriguez was directing Spy Kids 2? What happened to these guys?! Was it the pressure? The art? The women? According to a new GQ interview with Tarantino, it was the swimming pools!

"When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kids' private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. I don't want to have to watch the movie I made to pay for my pool." Taraneninto went to say he didn't want to be making movies into his 60's."

It's true! On a long enough time line everyone's success rate reaches zero. And judging from the mixed reviews of Tarantino's newest flick, it looks like that timeline is really short! So we looked at some of the best directors of the 90's and tried to mark the precise moment they decided to re-tile their pools.

And sure, some will nab a prestige comeback flicks but there will always be that bottomless chlorinated beast to feed.

David Fincher: Se7en, The Game, Fight Club
Pool Movie: Panic Room

Fincher was a decorative filmmaker with a pretty morbid vision. Then he made Panic Room with Jodie Foster, who some time in late 90's also decided that she would stop picking plum roles and just you know, show up. Now grasping at commercial success with movies like Benjamin Button, it's safe to assume that Fincher will continue to splash around in the shallow waters of mediocrity.

Jonathan Demme: Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia.
Pool Movie: The Truth About Charlie
Silence of the Lambs was a game changer for all psychological thrillers about wang-tucking serial killers. Then he encouraged us to reach out and touch a gay, which was fine. But then Demme dropped the Whalberg bomb with The Truth About Charlie. That is an awful movie! And Demme has not made anything not-awful since!

Curtis Hanson previous films: L.A. Confidential, Wonderboys, 8 Mile
Pool Picture: Lucky You

Three years too late, Lucky You tried to capitalize of the poker craze of '02 with a jerky rom-com staring Eric Bana (whose appeal is still a mystery to me) . Lucky You was an undredeemableIe flop. Rex Reed put it best: "I don't know a grand slam from a royal flush and couldn't care less, so I might just as well have been watching a two-hour translation of Egyptian hieroglyphics."

Steve Soderbergh: Sex, Lies, Videotape, Traffic, Che
Pool Movie: The Good German
When Soderbergh made Ocean's 11 in 2001 you could fill an Olympic sized pool with the art house tears. But Ocean's was crowd-pleasing pop at it's best. Soderbergh's real paycheck flick was The Good German . An updated noir vehicle for George Clooney that mucked the line between homage and mockery.

Ang Lee: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Brokeback Mountain
Pool Movie: The Hulk
Way to go, Ang! Just when we were starting to believe that you were as good as everyone said you were, you go and make The Hulk.

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<![CDATA[When Will Cameron Diaz Be Eaten By Vampires?]]> Today Cannes gets a bit clearer, a comedy haus has opened, Cameron Diaz continues to invade your multiplex, another Twilight movie staggers along, and Straw Dogs gets remade.

The lineup for Cannes has been announced, with only two American films entered into formal competition. Those would be Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds and Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock, which curiously stars mild comedian Dmitri Martin. Other movies, in and out of competition, that we're interested in: provocateur (with only middling success) Lars Von Trier's horror movie Antichrist, Terry Gilliam's Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and a new creeper by Michael Haneke called The White Ribbion, an allegory about fascism set at a German boarding school in 1913. [Variety]

Naomi Odenkirk, who reps a bunch of SNL stars, and Marc Provissiero, who has repped many sitcom writers, have come together in a blessed Hollywood business marriage to form Odenkirk Provissiero Entertainment, a representation firm for funny people. So you hear that class clowns and Rude Mechanicals in college productions of Midsummer's everywhere? There is a place for you in California. [Variety]

Oh good. Speaking of comedy! Comic genius Cameron Diaz has signed on to play the lead in Bobbie Sue, about a "hard-charging female ambulance chaser" who becomes the face of a big firm that is being sued for sexual discrimination or something, so she probably learns a lesson about being a woman instead of chasing a paycheck and isn't that terrific. [Variety]

If you were to consider one actor the younger Dustin Hoffman, you would immediately think of James Marsden, right? Good. Director Rod Lurie agrees with you. He's just cast the Second Noah star in the Hoffman role in a remake of Straw Dogs. Instead of rural England, the new version will take place in the deep South. Hm. [THR]

The inevitable third Twilight movie, called 'Pire Walk With Me, has found a director. David Slade has experience with the vampire genre, as he directed the Josh Hartnett Alaskan boondoggle 30 Days of Night. Only in that movie the vampyrs ate your face off. In Vamps 3: Hardbodies, they just sparkle at you and refuse to boff. So, slight nuances. [THR]

Oh, fun. Director/writer Rian Johnson has posted the opening sequence from his new film The Brothers Bloom on Hulu. We lurved Brick and have been excited for this movie for some time. And the clip doesn't disappoint. [EW]

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<![CDATA[How To Go From Stand-Up To Star of An Ang Lee Movie in Two Easy Steps]]> It's every actor's (and visual-aid-friendly comedian's) dream: James Schamus calls you up out of the blue, and asks you to come in for a "general meeting."

A month later, you're informed that you'll appear in every single scene of Ang Lee's new movie, Taking Woodstock. That's pretty much how it happened to Demetri Martin, who'll play the film's hero, Elliot Tiber—a young, Jewish gay from upstate New York who found himself, by sheer happenstance, mounting the generation-defining cultural event of its time.

Martin described the experience to AfterElton:

"James Schamus, the head of Focus Features, called my agents and said, ‘Hey, I want to meet with Demetri, just a general meeting.' Okay. So I went in to Focus, and I just met with the guy. He was really nice. He just asked me questions about what I was working on. Great, well, good to meet you. We just talked about music and plans, just writing things."

[One month later] Schamus wanted to meet with him again – only this time with Ang Lee and about a specific role.

"I went into the Ang Lee meeting and I had read the book and they're like, ‘I don't know how much you know, but we want to do this movie. We're kind of interested in you as a character. We're not going into as much of the like underground New York gay scene and that stuff. We're focusing more on the family relationship and this guy's personal journey, as a gay person who is in the closet in 1969 as that relates to making Woodstock happen and finding yourself as a generation is finding itself.'"

A week later Schamus asked Martin to come back and read for Lee.

"I did four scenes [and] I was like, this is a long shot, but this is for real now. And then two days later, they were like, ‘Okay. We'll do this with you.' Wow! I'm in every scene in that movie! It's crazy! I'd been in like two or three movies before and did like two scenes, tops. Now I'm in every scene, and I'm working with Ang Lee?"

We're dying to see this, even though we fear this particular casting may become the un-bendy straw that finally breaks the gay camel's back with regards to straight actors winning juicy gay roles. How ironic it would be if Taking Woodstock incited its own Stonewall riot, with hundreds of angry, out-of-work gay actors storming out the doors of Starbucks WeHo, chanting, "What do we want? Parts! When do we want them? Now! What will settle for? Featured extra! When we settle for it? Also now!"

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<![CDATA[CCI: Cowboy Curtis Investigation]]> · Laurence Fishburne is in negotiations to take over for the departing William Petersen in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, in which he'll play a scientist who "has the same genetic profile as a serial killer," much like the sociopathic cowboy he played on Saturday morning TV in the late '80s. [THR]
·Load up on guns, bring your friends: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video director Sam Bayer will direct the Michael Bay-produced noir action thriller Fiasco Heights for Universal. [THR]
·Suspiciously obtained reality show concept Wipeout, a surprise summer hit for ABC, has been renewed for another season of waterlogged, spine-snapping fun. [Variety]
·Taking Woodstock, Ang Lee's totally weird movie starring Demetri Martin as the gay decorator inadvertently at the center of the legendary music festival, will begin shooting this month, with go-to Period Gay Emile Hirsch added to the cast.
· Tony-winning Best Play August: Osage County is being prepped for a movie version, probably to star Meryl Streep, with a snappier plot based on a series of loosely-strung-together Roxette songs. [Variety]

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<![CDATA[Demetri Martin To Go Gay For Ang]]> Our anticipation is great for Oscar-winning, Gays-friendly director Ang Lee's next movie, Taking Woodstock; based on the memoir by Elliot Tiber, it's the unlikely tale of a closeted guy working at his parents Catskills motel inadvertently responsible for mounting the music festival that defined a generation. (OMGZ! I CAN HAZ GAI HIPPYZ?!!!) How to make an already awesome and weird project even more awesome and weird? Variety now reports that comedian Demetri Martin is who Lee wants for the lead. With shooting set to begin in late August, and a greenlight from DreamWorks for his script Will, look for 2009 to be the year that the comic makes the seemingly inevitable leap from cultish stand-up and Daily Show correspondent to full-fledged movie star. It's also going to be the year that actor-comedians go gay on film, but hopefully Martin's portrayal will be a little more nuanced, and less spray-tanned and Versaced, than Jim Carrey's.

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<![CDATA[Ang Lee Adheres To Strict 'One For Me, One For The Gays' Policy]]> ang.jpgAfter a brief fling with steamy Chinese art-core, director Ang Lee is heading back to the comfortable terrain of the Gays, the lauded director having already explored that topic's various themes in such previous Queer Cinema classics as Brokeback Mountain (doomed lovers on the Wyoming plain), The Wedding Banquet (a comedic take on Chinese family and tradition), and Hulk (roid-raging muscle queen never quite fits in). THR now reports that Lee will turn to the unlikely setting of the original Woodstock Music and Art Fair for his next emotionally frigid, magic rainbow carpet ride:

"Taking Woodstock" centers on the colorful life of a Greenwich Village-based interior designer and part-time Catskills hotel manager who headed the Bethel, N.Y., Chamber of Commerce.
He issued the permit for the legendary 1969 concert on his neighbor Max Yasgur's farm. [...]

The project is set up at Focus Features, and will be adapted by the studio's CEO, James Schamus.

Coming on the heels of Gus Van Sant's slavish recreation of the Castro of the late-1970s in Milk, Lee's own tribute to the Greenwich Village of a decade prior suggests we are currently in the midst of a Golden Age of the Period Gay. It will all but be confirmed once Bryan Singer announces his next project: Corn Holers of 1933, an all-male musical review hearkening back to the fabulous, Busby Berkeley musicals of the Great Depression.

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<![CDATA[For Your Consideration: Best Dripping Wet, Half-Naked Actress Keira Knightley; Also: 'Atonement']]>
Kudos to Focus Features' marketing department for injecting some sex into Atonement's For Your Consideration ad campaign by choosing this signature image of Keira Knightley, in which the actress emerges sopping wet from her family estate's fountain in a clingy, see-through slip, as the one that best represents the candidacy of both their critically beloved literary adaptation and director Joe Wright. Sure, the awe-inspiring tracking shot of a war-torn Dunkirk might have been an option that more vividly illustrated Wright's technical skills, but sometimes voters just want to break up the monotony of flipping though the trades by gawking at half-naked ladies.

Should the ad generate the expected positive response, look for Focus to take out a two-page spread promoting artsy Ang Lee fuckfest Lust, Caution with a collage of the complicated, physically punishing sexual positions into which the celebrated filmmaker twisted his awards-worthy talent.

[Ad via THR Digital Edition]

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<![CDATA[John Cusack's Action Hero Dreams Dashed]]> c49972d508c0d07446685eb83258c11e.jpg· We're impressed with Variety's show of headline-pun restraint with this one: The plug has been pulled on Stopping Power, Jan De Bont's planned action thriller starring John Cusack, after funding fell through at the last minute. [Variety]
· Conflicting with other reports, Ang Lee's Lust, Caution "thrilled" Venice audiences. One journalist asked if the graphic sexual sequences were real, to which the director responded, "Have you seen the film?" Funny—we always felt what The Hulk could have used were some Brown Bunnyesque elements. [Variety]
· ABC orders a script for The Fixer, about "the most powerful woman in New York." We knew it was only a matter of time before Leona Helmsley's dogwalker had her own show. [Variety]
· NBC and Apple have a parting of the ways, with NBC's content disappearing from iTunes as soon as December. Why can't Steve Jobs and Ben Silverman just iron this bullshit out over a couple of primo bong hits? [THR]
· Giovanni Ribisi is pulled in by the CAA Death Star's tractor beams. Run, Giovanni! They're nothing but a greedy and secretive institution that want to have undue influence over your life decisions! [THR]

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<![CDATA[Venice Film Festival update: Jellyfish have...]]> Venice Film Festival update: Jellyfish have invaded and are totally ruining Keira Knightley's swimming plans! Also: At 156 minutes, Ang Lee's NC-17-rated Lust, Caution is a chore to sit through, despite featuring sex scenes so explicit, it makes a spittle-assisted Jack Twist-taking seem tame by comparison. [filmexperience]

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<![CDATA[Fox Throws Hands In The Air, Decides It Has No Choice But To Make 'Dallas' As A Comedy]]> travolta-hairspray.jpg· Realizing that no matter what their vision was going in for a long-planned, big-screen adaptation of Dallas, the final result would be hilarious, Regency and 20th Century have finally decided to just give up and officially make it as a comedy. Betty Thomas will direct, and John Travolta will still star as JR Ewing, playing the part in only a slightly bigger fashion as a nod to the project's new direction. [Variety]
· Once again, the DGA refuses to allow For Your Consideration DVD screeners to be sent to members for their yearly awards, forcing guild members to schlep out to screenings to see their peers' work presented as it was intended. [THR]
· Following the less-than-blockbuster results of promotions for movies like Akeelah and the Bee and Arctic Tale, Hollywood is discovering that Starbucks might not be marketing monolith that they'd had hoped it would be. Several studios are now considering scaled-back versions of the failing Starbucks experiment, such as planting paid confederates to sit by the door of The Coffee Bean and loudly shout into a cellphone about how much they loved a partner's movie. [Variety]
· It's about time someone made a RenFair comedy*: Universal buys the Rainn Wilson project Renaissance Man, about two community theater actors who hide out a renaissance fair after thinking they've killed one of their co-stars. (*For real; and no, we don't count that one part in The Cable Guy.) [THR]
· Focus Features accepts the MPAA's NC-17 rating for Ang Lee's erotically charged espionage thriller Lust, Caution for "too many scenes of artsy-fartsy fucking." [Variety]

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<![CDATA['Brokeback Mountain' Crushes Gay-Friendly Competition At GLAAD Awards]]> ang-lee-glaad.jpgIt was a forgone conclusion that Brokeback Mountain's last go at the awards show rodeo—the GLAAD Media Awards—would rope it its final trophy, what with Brokeback being touted as a monumental turning point in the history of gay acceptance, and these being the awards that celebrate gay acceptance. As predicted, Ang Lee accepted Best Picture, Wide Release at the ceremony in New York last night, easily beating out such other nominated gay-friendly wide releases as Rent and The Family Stone:

Director Ang Lee accepted the award, commenting: "Finally, an award that actually means something."

Noting that "Brokeback Mountain" had won a slew of awards, Lee said, "Some of these are very meaningful to me.

"OK, there was that one that got away, but that's OK," he quipped.

Lee, who received a standing ovation from the audience at a Manhattan hotel, said it would likely be "the very last award I will accept for 'Brokeback Mountain' ... And to end the journey here tonight is like coming home. The fact is 'Brokeback Mountain' has helped to change the world." [...]

The heartfelt speech and standing ovation provided a huge comfort and release for The Gays, who felt cheated from their Big Moment at the Oscars when Crash stole Best Picture from under their noses. Luckily, these awards didn't propose a rematch between the two films, with GLAAD wisely choosing not to honor Crash for its brave depiction of an LA rancid with racism yet conveniently free of homophobia.

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<![CDATA[Ang Lee Thanks Billions, But Not Heath Or Jake]]> ang-lee-oscar.jpgTwo Washington Post staff writers were granted golden tickets to both the Vanity Fair and Elton John Oscar parties, and take us along on their Roald Dahlesque adventures. At VF they spot Madonna ("...she was heard to say 'oy' after experiencing a press photobarrage going in"), Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller sprawled on couches, J-Lo begging Marc Anthony to dance with her (he does not), Paul Haggis being gracious at a urinal (next movie: "Flush?"), and an affable, smoking Joaquin Phoenix; at Elton's: a bored George Lucas, alone but for his security guards, Pamela Anderson, and a "sea of women with Duck Face," including the world's reigning duck-faced monarchs, Amanda Lepore and Lisa Rinna. Spirits overall were high; but there's always the exception:

Oscar-winning "Brokeback Mountain" screenwriter Diana Ossana, in a tight blue gown, kittens up to her sheepherding cowboys (mixed animal metaphor? Hello, we've been drinking?) and she has a long, serious conversation with Heath Ledger, and the only snippet we overhear is this: "He didn't even thank the cast," Ledger says.

While he could have been talking about anyone, a review of Ang Lee's acceptance speech revealed the director managed to thank the fictional characters of Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist, short story writer Annie Proulx, screenwriters Ossana and Larry McMurtry, a long list of Focus executives, and closed with a thank you to his family, and "everyone in Hong Kong, Taiwan, and China." Not mentioned: Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, or any Brokeback Mountain actor for that matter. And while the entire population of China undoubtedly was thrilled to get their Oscar night due, let's face facts: it was Ledger and Gyllenhaal who really did the heavy lifting here, and probably deserved a tip of the gay cowboy hat.

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<![CDATA[Trade Round-Up: Was Jon Stewart Too Safe?]]> Variety thinks Jon Stewart played it "safe" and "right down the middle" by not going too political or biting the industry hand that fed him. To be fair, he didn't have anyone as appealing as Jude Law to kick around like Chris Rock did last year. [Variety]
Ang Lee, like pretty much everyone with taste, was shocked that Crash beat Brokeback: "I was backstage enjoying the buildup I was familiar with: the writers (winning), then me (winning). It was a surprise, frankly. But congratulations to the 'Crash' filmmakers." [THR]
Crash's win gives Lionsgate its first-ever Oscar. Pardon us if we're not exactly popping champagne corks on their behalf, as that Best Picture fiasco probably cost us our Oscar pool. Thanks, LG! [Variety]
Everybody works during pilot season: Blair Underwood in CBS drama Company Town, Mena Suvari in CBS drama Orpheus, Lori Loughlin joins ABC comedy In Case of Emergency, and Rebecca Gayheart joins Fox drama Vanished. [THR]
Let's all climb back in our time machine and return to two days ago, when Brokeback took home the Independent Spirit Best Picture Award, and all was still right with the world. [Variety]

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<![CDATA[Everyone Wants More Jake Gyllenhaal]]> Ford-Jake.jpgAs Tom Ford-zhuzhing dreammuffin Jake Gyllenhaal readies himself for Oscar night, the AP managed to actually do what millions of gay men could only fantasize about corner the actor and grill him about his workout routines:

"(Brokeback director Ang Lee) put a set of weights outside my trailer because he wanted me to kind of bulk up for that part. I tried my best but I didn't do it as well as maybe he wanted. But then for Jarhead, it was sort of mandatory. So I spent those three months reading, and I started working out like really heavily."

We have to hand it to Lee the man is not shy in getting what he wants. And even though his very unsubtly motivated "gift" didn't produce the desired Jake beefcake effects, the director's angry, tearful admission to his actor that he had left a note under the 30-lb dumbbells which went unread ("JAKE HOPE THESE HELP YOUR PYTHONS GROW!") did end up providing the inspiration for Michelle Williams' climactic Brokeback fishing tackle box confrontation scene.

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<![CDATA[Ang Lee's Moss-On-Theron Action Merely Wishful Thinking]]> ang-lee.jpgBrokeback Mountain producer and frequent Ang Lee collaborator James Schamus set the record straight with USA Today over the recent rumors that the director's next project would be a biopic on the life of singer Dusty Springfield starring Charlize Theron, with Kate Moss as her lesbian lover. It seems the entire thing was a media-concocted fabrication:

"It came from a couple bites on the Internet that collided," says James Schamus, Brokeback producer and longtime Lee collaborator. "It showed up on one of these gossip sites, and Ang and I were like, 'Huh? What?' I'm a Dusty Springfield fan but it's all completely fabricated."

And with one brief and bemused denial, the lip-smacking fantasies of millions of eager straight men ready for their equivalent of Brokeback's seminal Jake-taking scene (perhaps Kate could have played a recording studio after-hours cleaning woman who just happens to wander in while Theron's Dusty is rehearsing, and the two quickly surrender to the forbidden she-goodies at their disposal...but we digress) are snuffed like a gay cowboy's cigarette after a satisfying night of fly-fishing.

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<![CDATA[Clarifying 'Brokeback']]> Brokeback-Clarify.jpgEven if Brokeback Mountain somehow lets the Best Picture Oscar slip through its rope-calloused-yet-tender fingers, few could deny it has already established itself as movie of the year. While other features reeked of desperately wanting to be talked about Munich and Crash come to mind Brokeback's only agenda appeared to be a desire to tell the sad, quiet story at its core. As a result, it managed to capture our hearts in the process, none more so than the enthusiastic collector who won the shirts auction for just north of 100 grand, likening them to "the ruby slippers of our time.

Of course, any movie unofficially referred to as "the gay cowboy movie" was bound to cause some controversy, though thanks to our helpful readers, much of that has already been sorted out. We therefore would like to take a moment to clarify some of the more popular misconceptions regarding the most acclaimed film of the year, Return to Gay Mountain:

The first misconception directly addresses Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist's purported homosexuality. A reader experienced in such matters shares the following elucidated missive:

Hey tips@defamer.com,

Will you please get it right,
Brokeback is NOT GAY,
it is NOT A GAY MOVIE,
the ACTORS ARE NOT GAY,
it is BISEXUAL.
THE ACTORS PLAY BISEXUAL PEOPLE.
I know, I been there, done em, and
I can tell you FOR SURE they are NOT GAY.
We all do or have things done at a time and place,
this is what this movie is about,
so grow up and GET IT RIGHT!!!!

Anonymity IS OK, USE MY NAME:
(name redacted)

We stand corrected, and grown up.

Another common misconception involves the term "cowboy" in describing the profession of the movie's gay bisexual lovers.
Blogging.la noticed this emphatic clarification in bold, black marquee letters on the sign outside a Studio City western wear store:

sheepherders.jpg
Some might argue that since Ennis mentions tending steer and we see Jack riding bulls over the course of the movie, the two can safely be termed "cowboys." However, should you find yourself in steer country and the subject of Brokeback comes up, may we humbly suggest using the more specific "gay sheep rancher" appellation? For a career cowboy who's spent much of his time in the company of men, the concept of two fellas polishin' beltbuckles is a whole lot easier to swallow than a couple of sheep herders trying to pass for cow punchers a mistake like that's liable to get you hog-tied with piggin'-string and a mouthful a' mountain oysters.

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<![CDATA[Ang Lee Wins Back Straight Men With HLA]]> ang-lee.jpgHaving ensured himself a lasting place in the Gay Man's Hall of Fame with Brokeback Mountain, director Ang Lee has made a canny choice for his next project: He'll stick to gay love stories, but win back the hearts of the straight guy population with some sweet girl-on-girl action starring two of the hottest chicks on the planet:

"Brokeback Mountain" director Ang Lee is said to be thinking about Kate Moss for a lesbian role in his forthcoming move about singer Dusty Springfield. Moss would play a socialite lover of Springfield, due to be played by Charlize Theron.

It's a brilliant, almost-everyone-wins scenario: Gay men will show up in droves to see a masterful cinematic retelling of the life of one of their most beloved pop icons, while straight men and lesbians will delight at the deliberately paced, artfully lit Theron-Moss sandwich scenes. Only the straight female demo is underserved, though Lee is said to have plans to remedy that with his still unchosen follow-up project, with the director reportedly leaning favorably towards the as-yet-untitled "Matthew McConaughey as Incorrigible Womanizer Who Secretly Has Heart of Gold RomCom Project."

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<![CDATA[Lou Ferrigno Already Annoyed At Being Referred To As 'Deputy Hulk']]> sheriffhulk.jpgOnce upon a time, before Mr. Fancypants director Ang Lee came in to screw things up with his gay green monster take on the Marvel legend, the words "The Incredible Hulk" struck fear and awe in the hearts of audiences (mostly boys, 9-12) everywhere. Now, the original Hulk, Mr. Lou Ferrigno, has been named an LA County reserve deputy sheriff:

Lou Ferrigno, the bodybuilding champ who played Dr. Banner's bigger half in the 1970s TV series, The Incredible Hulk, will be sworn in Monday night as a Los Angeles County reserve deputy sheriff.


As a member of law enforcement in good standing, Ferrigno will be issued a badge, a baton and a gun—a Beretta 92FS, per the sheriff's department Website.

The force Ferrigno is joining has been under tremendous strain of late in trying to quell deadly inmate riots. And so the question begs: Will the former Hulk draw duty in the tinder-hot prisons?

"No, he won't," Prang said, adding, "and we call them 'jails.'"

We couldn't help but scoff just a little when we read that Ferrigno was issued a gun, which, we presume, he'll crush into a steel ball and hurl with great force at an escaping assailant. And while the Hulk won't be brought in to quell the ongoing prison race riots ("You black. You latino. Hulk green. Hulk no see difference!"), we somehow feel safer all the same knowing he's on our mean streets.

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<![CDATA[SAG Hearts Crash, DGA Hearts Gay Cowboys]]> reesesag.jpgIn the end, Lionsgate's plan to buy themselves a SAG award by sending out an unprecedented 130,000 Crash screeners to every living SAG member (last paying gig Thug #3 on Magnum P.I.? You get a screener!) proved to be a winning strategy, as the movie took a best film ensemble trophy at yesterday's SAG awards. Shut out of the proceedings was Brokeback Mountain, a clear message from voters that it requires more actorly skill to pretend to be racist than it does to pretend to be gay. Other winners included Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote, Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line, the cast of Lost for best ensemble TV drama and, in a turn of events sure to have resulted in Ari Emanuel launching a plate of Chinese food at his plasma screen, the cast of Desperate Housewives for best ensemble TV comedy.

Saturday night's DGA awards stuck to the Brokeback-loving script, however, awarding the film best feature honors, which elicited a gushy acceptance speech from director Ang Lee:

"This is just lovely, thank you," Lee said Saturday to the audience of 1,100 at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza Hotel. "This is the only award I put on my desk. Thank you, it means so much to me."

A dejected Steven Spielberg, who saw the director's awards as his best shot at picking up a trophy for Munich, was seen shifting uncomfortably in his seat during Lee's turn at the podium, at one point scribbling a note to himself on the back cover of his program: "Next project back to the Holocaust."

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<![CDATA[David Duchovny Not Afraid Of Straight To Video Hulk Sequel]]> hulkduchovny.jpgBrokeback Mountain director Ang Lee is probably at this moment luxuriating in a bubble bath in his Hilton suite, gleefully using his new best director trophy for a little round of Golden Globe submarine commander. These recent accolades are almost enough to erase the memory of his disastrous last effort, The Hulk, which Lee admits left him "depressed and shaken." But while the production may have been a traumatic one for Lee, and a disappointment at the box office, it still made enough money ($245 million) for Universal to consider a Hulk 2 just don't expect it to be playing anywhere besides a home theater near you:

PETER CUNEO, the vice chairman of comic book franchise Marvel, revealed Duchovny is the frontrunner to play the green giant in The Incredible Hulk 2 in a recent interview with AOL's Motley Fool Radio Team.


He said, "Duchovny's name has been bought up several times. He's quite the fan too."

Bana pulled out of the sequel when he discovered the plan was to release the film direct to DVD.

We can hardly blame Bana for pulling out of the project, seeing as it's probably unwise to follow a much lauded, starring role in a "serious" Spielberg picture with an appearance in a Blockbuster Video bargain bin exclusive. But for Duchovny, whose recent work has amounted to some poorly reviewed indie features and video game voiceover work, Hulk 2: Return to Care Bear Island could be just the mean green comeback to reignite his once red hot career.

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