First, let's briefly recap what we and others have reported so far: The film was set to begin shooting last week. Five days before the start of shooting, director Steven Soderbergh turned in a rewrite of the original script, which was written by Steven Zaillian, that Sony executives, led by co-Chairman Amy Pascal, did not like. The studio felt that Soderbergh, who was insistent that every event in the film had to have taken place in real life, was taking the film in an "artsy" direction that they weren't willing to gamble $58-million dollars on, so they killed it. That's the short version of events according to Amy Pascal anyway.

Since then a few more details about the project emerged. Movieline and Deadspin provided some new information in reports of their own, and today the New York Times has an article that sheds some light on Soderbergh's zeal for authenticity.

One reason was to win the approval of Major League Baseball, which was not happy with some factual liberties in Mr. Zaillian's version. Such approval is crucial in a baseball film that intends to use protected trademarks.

"Typically, on a film like this, we look at it for historical accuracy," said Matthew Bourne, a vice president of Major League Baseball for public relations. "We've been in touch with Soderbergh and Sony, and they've been receptive to our requests."

What baseball saw as accurate, Sony executives saw as being too much a documentary.

All of this brings us to the information provided to us by a tipster who'd been working on the project and has a decidedly different point of view than that of Amy Pascal and Sony.

First and foremost, Soderbergh had been upfront with the direction in which he intended to take the film from the very beginning of his employment. In fact, it was clear to all of us - whether in the Art Department or the Costumes Department, etc. – that Soderbergh intended to use real people to play themselves in the creation of the true story of Moneyball. Additionally, for months Soderbergh had been shooting interviews with real ball players and people from Billy Beane's past, and the studio approved these shoots. How could the studio then at the eleventh hour claim that his approach was a surprise to them? He intended to tell the true story rather than a fictitious version of the story. How innovative.

What exactly is wrong with making a movie accurate? And since when does an authentic film translate as an "art" film? I know numerous people that thought that Soderbergh's approach sounded insightful and interesting and true to the game and what really happened. If baseball lovers and non-baseball lovers alike in my large social network felt this way (not to mention the hundreds of bloggers that were fans of the concept), why couldn't this approach have universal appeal?

Regarding the notion that Sony executives were shocked to discover the direction Soderbergh planned on taking the film:

Soderbergh's script dated June 17, 2009 was not the first script that he handed in to Sony. On June 7th, Soderbergh submitted a draft to the studio with the following note on the first page:

"NOTE: Scenes involving Billy Beane's minor and major league career have been removed from this draft. They will be determined by filmed interviews with scouts, coaches, managers, players and family members who were with him at the time."

Sony executives read this draft. And Sony executives gave Soderbergh their notes. Clearly Amy Pascal did not read this draft – if she had, maybe the drama that began with the June 17th draft could have been avoided.

Another fact: Soderbergh handed in yet another draft dated June 10, 2009 with this note on the first page:

"NOTE: Billy Beane's minor and major league career will be shown via filmed interviews with scouts, coaches, managers, players and family members who were with him at the time. These interviews will comprise approximately ten percent of the film.

"Another ten percent of the film will consist of re-enactments of real events as remembered by the people playing themselves. The purpose of these scenes will be to provide set-up and perspective for subjects, situations, or relationships which currently appear in the screenplay without the requisite/normal amount of context."

Now why in the world was Amy Pascal so shocked (or, rather, "apoplectic" as it was relayed to the production team) when she read the June 17th draft? Could Soderbergh have made his intentions any more clear? Even if these executives did not read beyond PAGE 1, they would have known the direction in which he wanted to take the film – and they should have perhaps reported that to their boss. And maybe, just maybe, if there had been communication with their boss, maybe, just maybe, another avenue could have been taken rather than pulling the plug three days before the film was supposed to start shooting. For instance, maybe they could have delayed principal photography while script/concept issues were resolved.

Our tipster closed with this note:

On the day that Amy Pascal pulled the plug, there were 230 people that were working on Moneyball. Now those 230 people are all out of jobs.

When Soderbergh had to address a stage filled with crew members who were about to lose their jobs, he told us that just as Moneyball was the unorthodox version of building baseball teams, Moneyball the movie was the unorthodox way of making a film. Unfortunately, Amy Pascal does not believe in Moneyball as a concept; otherwise the film would be in its second week of shooting right now.

So there you have it—Another side of the story. All of this is obviously meaningless in the grand scheme of life, not to mention very "inside baseball" (pun intended), but it's so damn fun to talk about. We anxiously await the next bit of backbiting to emerge between the Sony and Soderbergh camps.

Why Did Sony Kill the Pitt/Soderbergh Film Adaptation of Michael Lewis' Moneyball [Previously]
MLB Approval Still Murky as Moneyball Circles the Drain [Movieline]
Money Worries Kill A-List Film at Last Minute [New York Times]
Soderbergh's Moneyball Script Too Real to Get Made [Deadspin]
pic via Vulture

Rumors have been swirling since Variety first reported last week that Soderbergh's vision for the film differed dramatically from the vision studio executives had for the film, but up to this point no one associated with the project has been willing to speak on the record about it.

But yesterday Sony's Amy Pascal, the studio executive in charge of the film, spoke to the LA Times' Patrick Goldstein. According to Pascal, what it all boiled down to was essentially simple—The studio loved screenwriter Steven Zaillian's original adaptation of Lewis' book, while Soderbergh felt the script lacked authenticity and rewrote it himself, making radical changes that Pascal and the studio weren't willing to gamble on, fearful that Soderbergh would turn it into an "artsy" film like Solaris or Schizopolis, especially when baseball movies traditionally don't do well at the box office outside of the United States. Soderbergh was insistent that everything in the movie had to have happened in real life.

Reports Goldstein:

Some changes to Zaillian's script were subtle, others were dramatic. At one point, Beane signs Scott Hatteberg, a journeyman catcher with a bad arm whom Bean can get for peanuts and turn into a first baseman. Beane loves Hatteberg's ability to get on base, but his staff is appalled — he just can't turn anyone into a slick-fielding first baseman overnight. In Zaillian's script, one of the coaches watches Hatteberg taking ground balls at a Little League field, his wife armed with a plastic laundry basket full of baseballs. She hits the balls to her husband off a tee, with their 4-year-old daughter backing him up down the line. One ball takes a bad hop and goes between Hatteberg's legs. When his daughter scoops it up, the coach quips: "Maybe we should sign her."

Soderbergh cut out the joke because it was the screenwriter's invention — the coach had never actually said it. He also cut out a scene where Beane gives a tongue-lashing to Jason Giambi, one of his departing free agents, again because it didn't actually happen. Zaillian's script was anchored by on-screen monologues by Bill James, the oddball guru of modern-day baseball statistics (who today works in the Boston Red Sox front office). James functioned as a Greek chorus for the film, offering wry, Yoda-like explanations about the complexity of the game.

Zaillian's deft renditions of James' maxims were funny and always to the point, allowing the audience the opportunity to see inside the game. In one monologue, James says: "If you score three runs and the other team scores four, you can be inspired as all hell but you still lost. The numbers represent the ineluctable sum of victories and defeats, and that cannot be made one iota larger or smaller than it is by PR campaigns, personal animosities or any of the greater and lesser forms of B.S." But in Soderbergh's draft, the James material had all vanished, presumably to be replaced by interviews with Beane's real-life associates.

At a "summit" held after Soderbergh turned in his draft of the script, he reportedly pleaded "trust me" to the Sony executives, who were obviously unwilling to do so. Besides Pitt, the film was also set to star comedian Demetri Martin as well as former ballplayers Darryl Strawberry, Mookie Wilson, David Justice and Lenny Dykstra, but Soderbergh's unrelenting zeal for authenticity proved to be the project's demise.

Bob Costas would be proud.

As for Michael Lewis, he seems unfazed by the developments with the film version of his book, telling MSNBC recently, "I don't understand why they bought it for a movie in the first place."

Sony's Amy Pascal Speaks Out About Moneyball [LA Times]
Image via Vulture

Now, to the untrained eye this may appear to be that ancient, hibernating specimen called a "conflict of interest." When we called up Steinhauer to ask if she thought it was, she said, "Jamie Lynton [wife of Michael] is one of my oldest friends" and asked semi-rhetorically, "Do I cover the movie beat?"

The Times' Hollywood coverage is run by its culture desk, while Steinhauer answers to the national desk. "I don't have anything to do with the cultural coverage," she said. But that's where her husband, New York Times Hollywood reporter Ed Wyatt works; Steinhauer pointed out that her husband covers TV, not movies, so this shouldn't conflict him.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Well! This is one of those cases where only extremely smart people can understand that this is fine. For example, Sony Pictures also makes television shows, which, we've established is what Ed Wyatt, Jennifer Steinhauer's husband, covers. He just wrote a story about Sony Pictures on March 23, in which Michael Lynton was quoted. Maybe it would be better if his wife—who also happens to be the NYT's L.A. bureau chief (we're being repetitive on purpose)—did not allow the head of Sony Pictures to host her book parties?

Of course, the NYT is far more expert in this issue than we are! Bernie Weinraub, their old Hollywood correspondent, is married to Amy Pascal— who heads Sony's movie studio. Before he retired in 2005, he also claimed to only cover television. So they know what they're doing here.

It may be that Sony Pictures executives are so inherently interesting, and honest, that NYT staffers based in LA naturally gravitate towards them. Which, okay then! Anybody can have any friends they want. But you can't have any job you want, always. The Times has already been embarrassed by its staffers' speaking fees this week. Sometimes it's better to have an abundance of caution, rather than no caution.

This morning, we are pleased to announce both that Sweeney's hard work paid off, as she easily dispatched Pascal in a best-of-three falls match, and that a post-bout investigation into allegations that the Disney executive had used a pillowcase filled with oranges rather than the approved goose-down stuffing quickly cleared her of any wrongdoing. Congratulations, Anne!

The Reporter's honorees will be feted at today's Power Breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where they'll be entertained by Hairspray stars John Travolta and Queen Latifah, who'll once again don their latex fat-suits and reprise the rollicking drag performances that won them so much critical acclaim earlier this year. The top ten from the list are presented below, and the entire roster of 100 is here:

1. Anne Sweeney, co-chairman, Disney Media Networks; president, Disney-ABC Television Group

2. Amy Pascal, chairman, Sony Pictures Entertainment Motion Picture Group; co-chairman, Sony Pictures Entertainment

3. Nancy Tellem, president, CBS Paramount Network Television Entertainment Group

4. Stacey Snider, co-chairman and CEO, DreamWorks SKG

5. Judy McGrath, chairman and CEO, MTV Networks

6. Oprah Winfrey, chairman, Harpo Inc.

7. Dana Walden, chairman, 20th Century Fox Television

8. Nina Tassler, president, CBS Entertainment

9. Bonnie Hammer, president, USA Network and Sci Fi Channel

10. Shari Redstone, president, National Amusements; vice chairman, CBS Corp., Viacom and Midway Games

• Disney's Sweeney tops 2007 Power 100 list [THR]
• Previously: Sony's Amy Pascal Named Most Powerful Non-Male In Hollywood [Defamer]

[Image via Digial Variety]

• Previously: Spider-Friends Remember Sony's Amy Pascal On Her Big Day [Defamer]

[Ad via Digital Variety]

• Previously: They Aren't Kidding When They Say Amy Pascal Can Run A Studio Like A Man [Defamer]

• The World's 100 Most Powerful Women [Forbes]

[Ad via Digital Variety]

• Previously: [Defamer]

1. Spider-Man 3—$60 million
Contacted for comment Sunday evening after the weekend's box office estimates were released, revealing that Spider-Man 3 fell off 60 percent from its record-breaking debut, dependably positive Sony studio chair Amy Pascal offered, "Even in my deepest, darkest, most secret desires I would never have expected to have a movie with the fourth-highest grossing second weekend of all time. I mean, once when I was 12 I wrote a message to my future self that said, '$60 million second weekend! You can do it, Amy!" and locked it away in my Wish Chest, but that doesn't really count. Wow, I'm still floating. This is amazing."

2. 28 Weeks Later-$10 million
Have horror fans already tired of the novelty of fast zombies? Perhaps what the genre needs is a visionary unafraid to take the undead to the next level in terrifying locomotion. We are, of course, speaking about zombies in wheelchairs. Motorized ones.

3. Georgia Rule—$5.879 million
Audiences clearly didn't appreciate the hardships that Garry Marshall had to endure to get this movie into theaters. Rumor has it that the director suffered a series of mild heart attacks directly related to Lindsay Lohan's erratic attendance record , but his obsession with realizing his dream of seeing Jane Fonda sharing the screen with the Herbie: Fully Loaded star wouldn't allow him to quit and attend to his health.

4. Disturbia—$3.5 million
Shia LaBeouf: We're so over this guy. Bring on the next manchild box office hero!

5. Delta Farce—$2.768 million
It is a tribute to the indomitability of the redneck spirit that Larry the Cable Guy found the strength to press on with his movie career after Health Inspector failed to live up to its considerable promise.

• May 11-13, 2007 Studio Estimates [Box Office Mojo]

"In your deepest, darkest, most secret desires you could never expect it to do so well," said Amy Pascal, Sony's studio chairwoman. "We're floating."

Of course, now that new weekend estimates have been made available and the numbers have been revised upwards to $151 million domestic and a $382 million worldwide, maybe Pascal will abandon the humility (really, did she make the Most Expensive Movie, Like, Ever! By A Lot! With Inflation Figured In And Junk! without daring to dream they'd take down Pirates 2?) and partake in some public self-congratulation, inviting the press over to the Sony lot to watch her ceremonially don a custom-made Spider-Lady suit and paddle a pair of assistants dressed like Shrek and Captain Jack Sparrow until they beg for box office mercy.

Still reeling from a flurry of bad press on its PlayStation 3 gaming console, Sony isn't eager to claim this honor. A studio spokesman angrily rejects the $350 million estimate as a "complete fabrication," insisting that production costs didn't exceed $270 million. One of the film's producers, Laura Ziskin, also disputes the higher total, albeit in a less forceful manner. "I refuse to say the [real] number because it makes me choke," she tells Radar. Spider-Man 3 was a super-expensive movie—the most expensive film we've ever made. But there's no way you can get to $300 million."

Reports of Sony's record-breaking gamble have created a stir among entertainment insiders, seeming to evoke some combination of schadenfreude and envy. "Those are crazy numbers," remarks one leading industry figure.

Unfortunately, Ziskin was prevented from disclosing the actual number and enjoying a heady moment of publicly owning the coveted title of Producer Of The Most! Expensive! Movie! Ever! Made! (upon hearing the news, Jerry Bruckheimer will undoubtedly command his Pirates 3 crew to fire $100 million out of a cannon and into the churning sea, putting the competition safely out of reach), when studio head Amy Pascal sensed a disturbance in the Moviemaking Force, and with a pantomimed pinching of her profligate minion's throat, constricted Ziskin's trachea from afar, releasing the breath-stealing clench only when she was satisfied Sony's budgetary shame would go undisclosed to the meddling reporter.

• The Most Expensive Movie Ever Made [Radar]

"It's a miracle I'm here," said keynote speaker Maria Bello, star of "World Trade Center," in describing her hectic morning as a multi-tasking mom during which she finally got around to "shaving two-week old growth" under her arms.

"I still have two-week old growth," quipped fellow "World Trade Center" star Maggie Gyllenhaal, another keynote speaker who, like Bello, earned accolades for her role in the Oliver Stone-directed drama about the September 11 attacks.

Studio-controlling honorees from the upper reaches of the THR she-power list laughed heartily at the depilatory concerns of the talent caste, remembering a long-passed time when they didn't wield enough influence to demand that their third assistants tend to all of their personal grooming needs while on conference calls closing seven-figure script deals.

• Some Hollywood women say too busy to shave armpits [Reuters]

While we impatiently await the day sometime in the next five or so millennia that Hollywood's most powerful executives finally make the inevitable evolutionary leap to a new, single-gendered superspecies capable of both pre-menstrual rage and the intimidating swinging around of external genitalia, we suppose that sex-specific lists like THR's Women in Entertainment Power 100 will continue to exist. Until then, we must discuss them: For the 2006 iteration of their annual ranking of female potency, released today, The Reporter was faced with a potentially paralyzing dilemma: their entrenched two-time champion was coming off another impressive year, but a studio survivor who weathered a disastrous 2005 rebounded to release 12 number one films, a feat nearly as impressive as her escaping dismissal for thinking anyone would want to see a movie about a sentient plane made cranky by a lightning bolt.

The difficult matter of choosing this year's winner from two equally worhty candidates would necessitate THR's arcane tie-breaking ritual; both candidates were quietly summoned to the trade paper's headquarters, handed goose-down pillows, and locked in an empty conference room while the publication's staff chanted the only rule of engagement: "Two women enter, one woman leaves!" A mere three minutes later, Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal, the Most Powerful Lady In Hollywood 2006, emerged relatively unscathed, the only visible hint of the intense struggle a pair of stray, blood-flecked feathers clinging to her neck. When Disney-ABC TV Group president Anne Sweeney was revived with smelling salts, she was delicately informed that her two-year reign had finally come to an end. In a reversal of long-standing policy, she would, however, be allowed to live.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• 1. Amy Pascal [THR]
• 2. Anne Sweeney [THR]
• Women in Entertainment Power 100 [THR]

Broccoli singled out Pascal for praise. "She's not the typical studio executive," Broccoli said. "She had very strong views, but she would listen and come back and say, 'You're right.' "

Sony had little choice.

Broccoli and Wilson enjoy one of the most unique, hands-off studio arrangements in Hollywood and are highly protective of the Bond family legacy.

"They agree on the budget, the major casting and the script and we make the picture," Wilson said. "It's our film."

It's a testament to the bankability of the franchise—and Pascal's hands-on yet compliant business style—that the keepers of the Bond brand can enjoy an almost unheard of autonomy on such a massively budgeted production, right down to final wardrobe approval on which nut-hugging mankini best showed off star Daniel Craig's "absolute monster."

• Sony shakes the dice with 'Casino Royale' [LAT]

"This richly deserved promotion reflects the reality of our partnership here at Sony Pictures. Ever since Howard brought us together, Amy and I have been partners in running the studio, and I really wanted our titles to reflect our teamwork," said [SPE Chairman and CEO] Lynton. "Amy's contributions to Sony Pictures, across all our divisions, have been invaluable." [...]

Sir Howard Stringer said, "When Michael came to me with the idea of naming Amy co-chair, it made perfect sense, because this is clearly a case of the whole being even greater than the sum of the parts. Michael and Amy are very talented people in their own right, but there's a magic to their partnership that makes Sony Pictures the best studio in the business."

For those looking to further bask in the afterglow of the Sony exec three-way, the entire, still-throbbing thing is after the jump.

AMY PASCAL NAMED CO-CHAIRMAN OF SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT AND EXTENDS EMPLOYMENT AGREEMENT TO 2011

(September 6, 2006, Culver City, CA) — Amy Pascal has been promoted to Co-Chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment and has extended her deal with the studio to 2011, it was announced today by Michael Lynton,
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Sony Pictures Entertainment.

In addition to her new title, Pascal will continue to serve in her role as Chairman of the studio's Motion Picture Group. Lynton remains Chairman and CEO of the studio, and the two will continue to report to Sir Howard Stringer, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Sony Corporation.

The move recognizes Pascal's vast contributions to the company and was initiated by Lynton, who wanted to formalize the strong relationship he and Pascal have forged as partners, managing the operations of Sony Pictures.

"This richly deserved promotion reflects the reality of our partnership here at Sony Pictures. Ever since Howard brought us together, Amy and I have been partners in running the studio, and I really wanted our titles to reflect our teamwork," said Lynton. "Amy's contributions to Sony Pictures, across all our divisions, have been invaluable."

During the past five years combined, no studio has performed better in North America than Sony Pictures Entertainment. Since January, 2002, the studio has released 37 #1 films. Sony was #1 in market share in 2002 and 2004 and was #2 in 2003. Sony is the only studio to exceed the $6
billion dollar mark in domestic box office sales between 2002 and 2006.

To date this year, Sony has released 8 #1 films, including The Da Vinci Code, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Click, RV, Pink Panther, Silent Hill, Underworld: Evolution and When A Stranger Calls. The studio has exceeded more than $1 billion in North American ticket
sales for five consecutive years, a record matched by only one other studio in the history of domestic box office.

Upcoming films from Sony Pictures include the launch of Sony Pictures Animation and their debut title Open Season, Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith, Casino Royale, the 21st James Bond adventure, The Grudge 2, and Nancy Meyers' Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, Jude Law and Kate Winslet, among many others.

Sir Howard Stringer said, "When Michael came to me with the idea of naming Amy co-chair, it made perfect sense, because this is clearly a case of the whole being even greater than the sum of the parts. Michael and Amy are very talented people in their own right, but there's a magic to their partnership that makes Sony Pictures the best studio in the business."

"With the industry coming to terms with the challenges of a new era of entertainment, Michael and I share the same vision as we navigate Sony Pictures into the future," said Pascal. "I couldn't be more grateful to Michael and Howard for their unflinching faith and continued support. We have had much success over the past several years and that is a testament to the phenomenal talent of the people in production, marketing, home entertainment, television, digital and all our business units. I am extremely proud of the team we have in place and, with Michael, I look forward to building upon the record we've established."

Under Pascal's guidance, Columbia Pictures has made history with such blockbusters as The Da Vinci Code, which achieved the biggest international opening weekend in history, and Spider-Man(r). Other hits produced and released during Pascal's tenure include Spider-Man(r) 2,
Hitch, Fun With Dick and Jane, R.V., The Grudge, 50 First Dates, Something's Gotta Give, Closer, Big Fish, Guess Who, Bad Boys 2, S.W.A.T., Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Charlie's Angels(r): Full Throttle, Panic Room, Mr. Deeds, Men in Black II, Charlie's Angels(r),
Big Daddy, Stuart Little and A Knight's Tale.

Pascal was a studio executive at Columbia from 1987 to 1994, after which she was named President of Production for Turner Pictures where she remained for two years. She rejoined Columbia in 1996 as President.

Earlier in her career, Pascal served as Vice President of Production at 20th Century Fox. Before joining Fox, she worked for producer Tony Garnett at Kestrel Films, an independent production company affiliated with Warner Bros.

During the past two decades, Pascal has overseen the production of such hit films as Michael, Groundhog Day, A League of Their Own, Little Women, and Awakenings, among many others.

In addition to her achievements in filmed entertainment, Pascal serves on the AFI Board of Trustees as well as the Executive Board of the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television. She graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Relations.

• Previously: Thursday Afternoon Rumor Mill: What's Up At Sony? [Defamer]

Despite Pascal's unequivocal insistence that Hanks and Howard will return, some informed speculation holds that Sony could live without either of them for the next installment. The talent on The Da Vinci Code is expensive, and some at the studio—looking at the film's extraordinary success overseas—give a measure of credit to a strong international cast, including Jean Reno, Ian McKellen, and Audrey Tautou. Since Angels & Demons is set before the events of The Da Vinci Code, a younger (and cheaper) male lead might work out fine.

All things being equal, of course, we'd bet Pascal would be happy to make the investment in Hanks and eschew the more budget-minded options; she'd spare herself innumerable nights of waking up drenched in sweat, haunted by nightmares of Vin Diesel in Hanks' much-ridiculed Da Vinci hairpiece, attempting to mumble his way through page after page of stilted expository dialogue.

• The Da Vinci Sequel [Slate]

"I've done a good job in my own mind of being modest as to the expectations," [chairman and chief executive of Sony Pictures Entertainment Michael Lynton] told Reuters in an interview this week while en route to the south of France, where "The Da Vinci Code" will launch the vaunted Cannes film festival later on Wednesday amid protests from the Vatican and many Christian groups.

"I've encouraged, and Amy Pascal (chairman of Sony's motion pictures group) has encouraged myself and others not to expect something that's out of proportion," he added.

This ass-covering tactic of managed expectations is a wise one, and a prescient one, as Lynton gave that quote before the flood of bad buzz following the first screenings last night. Should something truly disastrous happen, say, like Sony discovers when the weekend numbers come in that it didn't make a movie good enough for people to want to bother shoving past the priests who lit themselves on fire in their local multiplex lobby, they can always say they were never really that excited in the first place.

• INTERVIEW - Sony Pics CEO plots new course amid Da Vinci hype [Reuters]

[A friend] just called from the Clark Gable building on the Sony Lot to inform me that a huge swarm of what appear to be Africanized bees have invaded. Their building has been sealed (with the workers trapped inside) while the fire department, etc. try to figure out what to do.

If anyone has any information about this sudden, Biblical-level plague, drop us a line. Especially if it turns out that the panic was a misunderstanding caused by sartorially exuberant studio head Amy Pascal golf-carting around the lot in a bee costume to drum up support for a reimagining of 1978's The Swarm.

UPDATE: A employee from the Gable building gives an update:

We weren't exactly trapped...they let us out through a back door, but the killer bee situation was problematic. We had someone come for an interview this afternoon and she didn't know about the entrance in the back of the building. She is allergic to bees, and described the terror of having to run through the swarm into the building.

It's all pretty ridiculous.

Having to exit through a back door does't quite have the pop of "trapped," but that can all be massaged in the editing room. We still think Sony Presents: Killer Swarm! smells like a hit.

In one scene, Inspector Clouseau — determined to bed an international pop star played by Beyonce Knowles — broke into a New York pharmacy and stole Viagra, which then visibly took effect under his clothes. In another, a woman knelt in front of Clouseau to measure him for new clothes. "You have quite a long in-seam," she said, sliding a tape measure up his thigh. [...]

Out went the Viagra-stealing scene. Instead, a new riff was assembled from existing footage and added shots: Martin visits Beyonce at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, ducks into the bathroom and realizes his flaming cocktail has lighted his hair on fire. In the commotion, he loses an unidentified blue pill down the drain, the room becomes a blazing inferno and Martin ends up falling through the floor and landing behind the hotel's reservation desk. [...]

In another scene, Clouseau's partner (played by Jean Reno) walks in on what appears to be the Inspector humping [Emily] Mortimer from behind. In fact, Clouseau is administering the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge an egg caught in her throat (when he succeeds, the egg pops out of her mouth and flies out the window, hitting a cyclist in the street below).

In the end, however, the $21.7 million Panther took in is a reward that pales in comparison to the invaluable service the studio performed for adults. The next time a five-year-old stumbles upon her parents engaged in a vigorous act of doggystyling congress, they can easily dismiss the potentially scarring tableaux as Daddy helping Mommy extricate a foreign body jammed in her esophagus.

• Taming the New 'Pink Panther' [LAT]
• Previously: Movie Execs Admit They’re Making Crap, Part The Third: Sony’s Introspection [Defamer]