HOLY SHIT. This is a sentence: "The also-untitled Chilli project will follow the singer as she enlists the help of relationships expert Tionna Smalls to find love." Like, our old friend Tionna Smalls? Holy shit. Oh, that's about a new VH1 reality show with the TLC chick Chilli. There's another show about Pepa Denton, from Salt 'n Pepa. Man, the world is reeling right now. In a good way. [Variety]

Oh God. Amy Adams has joined the cast of that Mark Wahlberg/Christian Bale boxing picture directed by Darren Aronofsky, The Fighter. She'll play "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender and former college high-jumper from Massachusetts". And you know what that means, folks? Another bad, strained Boston accent. Adams is a great actress but "tough" and "gritty" she is nawt. Did anyone see What Doesn't Kill You? Holy hell, that thing was a maudlin disaster. Amanda Peet had a decent accent though. But what's with the Boston fetishism? I'm all for movies made in my beloved hometown, but "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender"? Well, she'd better look like Beverly D'Angelo on a bad day and be cranking Newport butts 'cause otherwise, I won't believe it. [THR]

Speaking of faux grit, Mariska Hargimammy and Chris Meloni have signed on for more work as detectives Rapey and McLoosecannon on Law & Order: SVU. They'll stick around for at least two more seasons, making about $400,000 a week. Christine Lahti is going to guest for a few episodes, which is great, and Stephanie March will be back for ten episodes, which is also great. I really like this show, even though it is ridiculous and those paychecks listed above make me want to claw my eyes out. The world is off kilter my friends. [Variety]

Oh no! Unstoppable, that movie about a runaway train headed towards chemicals, might be derailed. Or stopped! Or any of the other wordplay things you can do! Chemicals! Denzel Wershington and Christina Pine were to star and Tony Scott was to shake a camera around and confuse everyone direct, but now budgetary concerns are halting its progress. See, star-driven stuff like Tony and Denzel's The Taking of Weird Numbers Train, also about a train, didn't do well. Mostly it's because no one likes John Travolta anymore, but Denzel will still get blamed. This is a tragedy for these multi, multi, multimillionaires. [THR]

Aw, Chris Kattan has something to do now. The rubber-faced Saturday Night Live actor will costar in a new series called The Middle, a single-cam ABC show about a Midwestern car saleswoman, played by Patricia Heaton. It will be a fun two episodes before it gets canceled. [THR]

Eight and a half million people watched something called Princess Protection Program on the Disney Channel on Friday. Sadly, and inexplicably, I was not one of them. Seriously, Richard? You didn't even know this was on? Even though Selena Gomez, whom you hate, was in it, and you have seen A Cinderella Story 2? Disaster. I'm losing it in my old age. [Variety]

Oh, terrific. Dimension is planning a remake of An American Werewolf in London, because of TwinkyTwinkleLight probably. Let's just hope that Tom Everett Scott stays far, far away from this one. [THR]

Speaking to fellow Oscar-winner Whoopi Goldberg about the icky mechanics of awards-season campaigns, Streep makes an impassioned plea for the good old days — that halcyon era of a generation ago, when Academy Awards were something that tottering old ladies arbitrarily bestowed on crap like Ordinary People, Dance With Wolves, Driving Miss Daisy and Streep's own Kramer vs. Kramer for no reason besides their own middling taste. Goldberg clearly agrees, proving her immunity to those tacky campaigns by overlooking "first-timer" Adams's 2005 nomination for Junebug. But we don't hold it against Whoopi; in fact, if there's room for us under her rock, we wouldn't mind moving in with her for a couple months. [The View]

Some roles just don't suit Natalie Portman. At the junket for the film version of his "Doubt," playwright John Patrick Shanley was asked how Amy Adams won the role of an emotionally conflicted nun. "I'm trying to think of what the etiquette is on this," Shanley chuckled, blushing a bit. Urged on by a blogger for gossipsauce.com, he continued, "Well, we asked Natalie Portman, and Natalie was very interested but kept saying she had a problem. And we finally nailed down as to what the problem was. She basically said she didn't understand celibacy."

Sounds like someone's taking tarty cues from her former costar, the sexually generous Scarlett Johansson! Still, we hardly think Portman's ideals were at odds with the role — has she never heard of the "sexy nun" concept before? Nat, check in with Megan Fox next time and call John Patrick Shanley in the morning.

• ALIEN CONCEPT [NY Post]

Among those observed in this installment: Owen Wilson, John Krasinski, Amy Adams, Ryan Phillippe, Neil Patrick Harris, Jared Leto, John Legend, Jonah Hill, Martin Landau, Chloe Sevigny, William Fichtner, Ron Livingston, Mekhi Phifer and more.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

Went to see The Women (the play, not the movie) in a theater near downtown, when I saw MARTIN LANDAU (looking dapper for 77) talking with JACK STEHLIN from Weeds. I was going to list some Martin Landau credits but imdb has 155 of them and I didn't know what to pick. Loved him in Ed Wood, though.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 25

Sept. 25 [At the] Aloud event at the LA Central Library, I spotted ERIC IDLE and a companion enjoying the battling accents of ARIANNA HUFFINGTON and BERNARD HENRI-LEVY. Looked like ALAIN GIRAUD may have been there as well, but I can't be sure. Idle and the Giraud lookalike repaired to Cafe Pinot for a post-talk meal, I expect to be joined by BHL and AH, since they were chatting on stage after the event.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 26

It was a transatlantic Dundler-Mifflin meetup on Friday (9/26) at the Magic Castle as JOHN KRASINSKI was hanging with STEPHEN MERCHANT (from The Office UK and Extras). The former looked way hotter and less goofy in person and the latter is a good seven feet tall and was chatting up AIMEE MANN.

I was dancing up a storm during the MSTRKRFT show at the Henry Fonda Theater when a guy walks right up and blocks my view. He turns around to face me and starts to mess around with his phone. I’m just about to call him out for being in my ‘personal space bubble’ (the dance floor was pretty empty by that time) when I realize that it’s JARED LETO! He looked a little rough: hair slicked back into a pony tail, scruffy facial hair, black army boots and red flannel shirt tight around his waste. '90s style flashback. I felt kind of sorry for him; Jared seemed a kind of bummed about not getting any celeb-like attention.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 27

A day earlier on Sept. 27, we saw RON LIVINGSTON and MEKHI PHIFER at the Shane Mosley-Ricardo Mayorga fight in Carson. They weren't together, dammit; Ron had his usual stubble and a third-row seat, while Mekhi was up on the concourse chatting with former fringe NBA player CHRIS MILLS before the main event.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 28

After watching my best friend perform an acoustic set at Level 5, someone commented "Hey, there's Jim from The Office." Sure enough, I turn around and there's JOHN KRASINSKI chatting it up with a very cute redhead and an equally cute blonde.

OWEN WILSON at The Other Room during the Abbot Kinney Festival. Fairly inconspicuous. He sat and texted the whole time, probably an hour two. I never saw him look up once. My trashed friend asked him what was going on with all the texting. Owen didn't understand the question. I think he left before the guy was killed outside. I saw that happen, pretty messed up.

Saw JONAH HILL at the Abbot Kinney Festival on Sunday the 28th. He was in the line for Sausage Masters but didn't seem to purchase anything. He must be on a diet as he's looking a little more svelte than usual. He was very sweet...

Saw BRENDAN SEXTON III at Sabor y Cultura cafe in Hollywood today. It was kind of dorky/endearing, there was a group of middle-aged gamers there and he went right over and was totally into it. He was with a tiny blond who was then forced to observe the gaming as well. I don't think anyone else knew who he was, I was just really into Welcome to the Dollhouse back in the day...

It feels like cheating to submit sightings from the A terminal at the Burbank airport, since celebs and plebes alike have to walk down that same narrow hall to exit the sad old barn, but what the hell. On Sunday night around 9 p.m., the following people walked by separately in a 4-minute span, presumably all coming off the late JetBlue flight from JFK: WILLIAM FICHTNER of Prison Break, wearing athletic-type clothes and walking so fast his hairline receded; NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, looking awesome in a black T-shirt and gaily chatting with some dude; CHLOE SEVIGNY, mousy-haired and depressingly dressed like a normal person; and finally AMY ADAMS, toting her own overstuffed Louis Vuitton bag and staring grimly ahead while marching with an entourage of at least two other chicks. No smile, no eye contact, still smoking hot.

Just got off AA115 from LHR to JFK. JOHN LEGEND was traveling in first class. A wee bit shorter then I anticipated.

Saw everyone’s favorite ex-lazy postman WAYNE KNIGHT at the Vendome Liquors in Toluca Lake on Sunday evening. Would have liked to say hi, but he was busy getting advice on red wine from one of the employees. Oh well.

MONDAY, SEPT. 29

RYAN PHILLIPPE with BFF and business partner BRECKIN MEYER at Nate 'n Al's in BH on Saturday morning.

boomp3.com

Perpetually cute actress Amy Adams took a break from being the cute one while out walking her brand new puppies in Brooklyn Thursday afternoon. Adams told the photographer that it felt refreshing to be stopped by children because of her puppies for once, rather than for the usual reasons (which, duh, is because she was in Enchanted). Adams said that her new puppies also distract people from the unflattering haircut she's sporting. "It's for a role," she explained.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

As this second picture reveals, both of Amy's cute little arms were preoccupied. So who's the second mystery date? Unfortunately for our boy Kenneth, he's a little-known actor named Darren LeGallo, who Amy has been dating since 2006. Cue the violins. But hey, maybe our boy Jack still has a shot at scoring with the Newly Improved Mariah Carey, following their flirty bedroom scenes in her latest video? Not quite as cute (a bit stomach-turning, actually), but we get the feeling that boy could do with a little bit of Mimi Love.

[Photo Credit: Splash News]

• WHO'S THAT GUY WITH AMY ADAMS ANYWAY? [TMZ]

As Letterman's clip gruesomely shows, Rinna not only goofed by congratulating Adams on her Oscar nomination this year (c'mon, even our aunt in Sacramento with no cable knows who was nominated!), but also had no recollection of Amy's nom two years ago for her role in Junebug. Which delightfully reminds us of one of our favorite Defamer clips so far this year, in which Rinna and her shoved-together silicone enhancements cackled along with Casey Affleck on the SAGs carpet. From asking him a very important question regarding what kind of gum he was chewing, to forming her "questions" in the style of "So, I just watched two of your movies, which one do ya think I watched first?", we're left with a teary revolutionary need to form a petition to get Joan back on the air, stat.

• THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [Official Site]

10. Cate Blanchett, who pretty much picked the most stunning maternity dress we've seen since Kate (excuse us! Katie!) decked herself out in Versace and Dolce while carrying the mysteriously conceived Suri.
9. Heidi Klum in Galliano, who managed to make popped collars look glamorous.
8. Katherine Heigl,whose one-strap gown was the most perfect red for a blonde with aggro issues.

7. Amy Adams in Proenza Schouler, whose bustier top made us forget that innocent twang she's perfected in interviews altogether.
6. Calista Flockhart, whose billowy gray and white gown officially erased those OMG SHE'S SO EFFING SKINNY pics of yore from our memory.
5. Cameron Diaz in Dior, who we'll now forgive for that controversial Valentino extravaganza she waltzed through last Oscars in to unsuccessfully make Justin Timberlake regret his dumpage.

4. Jessica Alba, who never really looks bad, but finally figured out a way to tell Hollywood to take her seriously.
3. Kelly Preston in Roberto Cavalli, who we think may have finally turned Johnny T. straight by looking 20 years younger tonight.
2. Keri Russell in Nina Ricci, whose baby weight has disappeared faster than it took to deliver the damn thing.

1. Penelope Cruz:Because of its sheer and utter flawlessness.

· Enchanted star and America's Current Sweetheart Amy Adams is in talks to join the cast of Night at the Museum 2 as the "undetermined historical figure" (Ann Boleyn? Catherine The Great?) love-interest of Ben Stiller. [Variety]
· Resisting the impulse to join in the upfront-canceling fad sweeping some of its network competitors, Fox pledges that it's committed to putting on the wasteful, inefficient dog-and-pony show media buyers in search of open bars so cherish. [THR]
· Cautious OptimismWatch, Part II: The WGA announces a general membership meeting for Saturday, during which writers will get the details of the proposed contract with the studios. [Variety]

Choke
Antihero: Sex-addicted con-man Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell).
Disease/Problem: Alzheimer's-afflicted mother.
Solution: Fake-choking at ritzy restaurants.
Unconventional Romantic Angle: Mancini cruises sexual addiction recovery workshops for action.

The Wackness
Antihero: Teen drug dealer Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck).
Disease/Problem: Drug-addicted psychiatrist Dr. Squires (Ben Kingsley); a troubled youth in need of counseling.
Solution: Bartering pot for therapy.
Unconventional Romantic Angle: Luke falls for Squire's daughter

Sunshine Cleaning
Antihero: Plucky, practical mom Rose Lorkowski (Amy Adams).
Disease/Problem: Lack of funds for son's tuition.
Solution: Forming a biohazard/crime-scene cleanup business.
Unconventional Romantic Angle: Something involving Rose's sister Norah (Emily Blunt) and a suggestively consumed banana (see photo).

The Great Buck Howard
Antihero: A young law school dropout (Colin Hanks).
Disease/Problem: Once-great illusionist Buck Howard (John Malkovich) has a career on the decline.
Solution: Dropout answers Howard's Magician's Apprenticeship ad in the local paper.
Unconventional Romantic Angle: Hanks find the love of his life on the road.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
Antihero: Listless son-of-a-mobster Art Bechstein (Jon Foster).
Disease/Problem: "Art begins to believe that perhaps he doesn't even exist at all."
Solution: Art "encounters a beautiful debutante (Sienna Miller)."
Unconventional Romantic Angle: Art "encounters a beautiful debutante (Sienna Miller)."

• Sundance Could Be a Sellers' Bonanza [NY Times]

In retrospect, we suppose it could've gone down a lot worse. Amy Adams is a true saint for not responding to Natalie Morales clear attempts at baiting her into a catfight (check out the overwhelming look of condecension on Morales' face after she says, "Oh, you had a good time doing that?"). But what we're wondering is this: other than attempting to embarrass Amy Adams on national television (subtext: "Was it fun being a ho?"), what exactly did Morales hope to accomplish with this line of questioning? We've spent hours trying to figure it out, and we can't come up with anything. All we know for sure is that not even Chris Hansen would have stooped this low.