In this week's episode: Adam Sandler and Chris Rock; Danny Masterson, Chris Masterson, Laura Prepon and Wilmer Valderrama; Paris Hilton, Amanda Demme, Kirsten Dunst; Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi, Minnie Driver, Miuccia Prada, Annie Lennox, Ashley Olsen and Justic Chambers; Kate Bosworth; Kim Basinger; Lindsay Lohan; Tyra Banks and Brittany Murphy; Jerry Bruckheimer; Kiefer Sutherland; Heidi Klum; Chad Lowe; Heather Locklear, David Spade, Sara Gilbert and The Go-Go's; Lenny Kravitz; Adrien Brody; Scott Speedman; "Weird Al" Yankovic and Adrian Grenier; Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman; Joel Madden and Hillary Duff; Adam Goldber and Christina Ricci; Sandra Oh; Ashley Olsen; Luke Perry; Lea Thompson; Ernie Hudson; Tristan Lake Lebaeau; Faye Dunaway; Allison Janney; Morgan Spurlock; Gary Busey; Josh Groban; Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl; Santino Rice; Jared Fogel; Wayne Rogers and Justin Guarini.

· Sunday Night 7/16: Guys on Beverly- Danny Masterson, Chris Masterson, Laura Prepon (friendly and HOT), Wilmer Valderrama (looking very short & scruffy)..and probably a lot of other people I was too drunk to notice. I'm pretty sure Wilmer left alone in his super nice black Bentley- I can't imagine people just losing things to him. Ick.

On a bathroom trip next door to Jerry's Deli saw Chris Rock & Adam Sandler eating. I'm not one to bother people usually but I talked to Adam Sandler (made a fool of myself) and he was nice about it.

Monday Night 7/16:
Nothing notable at the Roosevelt followed by what I thought would be a dud evening at Hyde. My friend told me to come to the bathroom with her and I almost resisted- when I walked in there she was.. Paris Hilton. I think she's much hotter in person- strikingly so.. wow. I was surprised Paris wasn't super thin- she's skinny but in a normal way. She was with a brunette of similiar height/body- but I didn't recognize her. Amanda Demme was there and didn't seem as cold as my previous impressions of her. Kirsten Dunst walked past me and I didn't even notice- my friend had to point her out. On the way out one of the Olsen Twins was looking very emaciated & bag ladylike- grinding with one of the pillars as if it was a poll. I felt like I was watching Jon Benet (minus the makeup/hair) during the talent portion of a pageant- it just felt wrong! On the way home stopped at the Dime before last call- nothing was going on there- I guess some people do work at 8am like me =(

· Had dinner at the Chateau Saturday 7-15, an off-night but even an off-night at the Chateau provides something to look at. As soon as we walked in, we saw a sign for some charity event hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi and Minnie Driver. Seconds later we spotted all three in the lobby, one after the other. My friend pointed out Annie Lennox, but I couldn't see her from where I was sitting.

At dinner, saw Ashley Olsen in bizarre flapper headband skulk into the dining area with friends. My friend noticed Miuccia Prada eating a few tables away—hearty Italian stock. After we retired to the lobby lounge after dinner, a very tan and dimpled Justin Chambers from Grey's Anatomy shared some words with the dashing, friendly Maitre D', Alain, then hopped on the grand piano and began tickling the ivories...not long enough to really wow us but enough to show he could play. The highlight, however, involved no one famous, just the two schlubs sitting next to us crying into their scotches about the fact that some hot chick wouldn't invite them up to her friend's bungalow party. Burn!

· Was sitting at the Chateau Marmont for dinner last night (7/13) and noticed an odd young girl with a hippie headband and some clownish makeup. Kind of looked like a teenage kid attempting to be a cross between Susan Sarandon in "Joe" and Phyllis Diller. My dinner companion pointed out that the hippie headband girl was, in fact, Ashley Olsen. Weird, *weird,* WEIRD.

· Last night (7/19) at Ita Cho saw Adam Goldberg and on-again galpal Christina Ricci. I think it was the first time since Dazed and Confused that I've seen him without stubble. A little while later, in walked Kate Bosworth with a girlfriend. Wow, Kate is really skinny.

· 7/16ish — Montana After enduring over an hour and a half of traffic to pick me up for lunch in Santa Monica, waiting 20 minutes for the staff at Mani's to notice us and clear our outdoor table didn't make my friend any less pissy. Just as we settled into conversation, he dryly remarked, "That ass-hole just hit my car." Across Main Street this black Range Rover attempted to parallel park in a huge spot, but somehow needed to bump my friend's silver Audi station wagon three times in the process. The impacts weren''t hard enough that he felt like saying something, but it clearly, understandably annoyed him. "He just did it again. My god, you could fit a boat in that spot." I suggested that the driver might be drunk, given the bizarre repetitiveness of clearly ineffectual maneuvering strategies. It would have been so easy to use the six feet of clearance to just back the frick up. We assumed the driver was a man, until a slight blond stepped out. I thought she might be going to place a note on the wind shield, but she instead tentatively stumbled towards an office door with a piece of paper, and seemed to have a hard time buzzing in. "She seriously seems drunk," I offered, pitying her. Soon, we noticed a tiny swarm of paparazzi clicking in that direction; one muttered something about plastic surgery. We lost interest, but on the way back to the car I asked a lingering paparazzo who he was stalking. " Kim Basinger," I finally understood through his thick, nondescript accent. I'm sure I could work in parking as a metaphor for a custody battle, or a volatile and dead-end marriage, but it's Friday.

· Lindsay Lohan rushing into kitchen entrance of Tra di Noi on Sunday afternoon (7/16), new boyfriend Harry Morton trailing dutifully behind her, and a few photogs snapping at her heels. She looked and sounded like she'd just rolled out of bed. She bumped into me as I was waiting for my food, but didn't seem to notice. Girl is tiiiiiny and her hair is orange. She left the restaurant with a female friend after ordering food and headed into Planet Blue. Not sure who the friend was, on account of her enormous sunglasses. After a few minutes, they tossed a shopping bag into a huge black SUV, hugged/squealed over what they got, and ran back into Tra di Noi. She wasn't carrying anything except her cigarette, so I'm not sure how she actually paid for anything. On the way back to the restaurant she yelled at the paparazzi not to photograph her 'cause she'd pose for them when she left, but they didn't really listen. The entire courtyard was silent and still while all this transpired. It was surreal. She left about 10 minutes later, presumably with her food, friend, and boyfriend in tow, but I missed it. Everyone in the parking lot was comparing stories and asking questions about what they'd missed.

· Tyra Banks and Brittany Murphy 7/16 at the Chateau Marmont. There was a suspicious amount of high-fiving going on between them.

· Went to the Pirates of the Caribbean extravaganza at the El Capitan Friday night, and who was there catching the show but The Bruckaneer himself, Jerry Bruckheimer. He looked thoroughly displeased about something, most likely the stale VIP popcorn. I considered asking him for $10 to cover the pain of sitting through "National Treasure", but he seemed angry enough already.

· Friday night July 7, Kiefer Sutherland was checking into the United International Terminal @ LAX ... he appeared to be traveling solo, looking very clean-cut and carrying a large man purse. A family of four approached him and he gladly posed for camera phone pictures.

· Sunday 7/16, Bristol Farms in the BH — a pregnant Heidi Klum. She looked great without a stitch of makeup on. However, she had on these hideous ruby-slipper-like 4" heels...expect they were in bright blue sequins. I felt like such a queen because the shoes were the only thing I noticed for a good 30 seconds...then I worked my way up to see it was Heidi...I love her show.

· Every Tuesday some coworkers and I make a trip to the Baja Fresh on Los Feliz Blvd in Atwater Village. At noon on Tuesdays the crowd is mostly firemen and soccer moms, so when we saw a group of un-uniformed men at the same table, it caught our interest. The man getting the most attention at the table was wearing a ball cap and shades - inside - and was Hillary Swank's soon-to-be-ex, Chad Lowe. One of the men at his table kept his eyes on the crowd at all times. I guess now that Chad doesn't have his wife around all the time, he has to pay for protection.

· July 14, 2006-
This is probably about the millionth sighting you've had about Heather Locklear and David Spade at the Go-Gos concert at the Greek last Friday, but here's one more:
I was seated two rows behind them in SECTION A....
Heather looked amazing in a little white tank top with a VERY snug,low-slung, gauzy, peach skirt—-she is TINY. And so gorgeous. She occasionally wore a straw cowboy hat, presumably to avoid immediate detection...but took it off about midway through the show. David was dressed very casually, with a baseball hat pulled down tight (also to avoid detection, I guess). Even in her hat, she was unmissable. Had David not been with her, he could have gone completely unnoticed.
She was very sweet to fans who recognized her——as the two of them meandered up and down and around the left side of SECTION A and its environs, seaching for the loo, (she on David's arm)....about every ten feet, someone would shriek "Heather!!". She waved and smiled and blew kisses. She even posed for photos with a fan who patiently waited for her to exit the ladies room, smiling and hugging him warmly. She could not have been nicer.
Too bad the same could not have been said of Belinda Carlisle, who pulled a backstage diva routine at the private aftershow party, and fled in a huff back to her dressing room after less than 5 minutes when she was approached for photos and autographs by several of the many assembled on the Zeus Deck. Drummer Gina Schock and guitarist Charlotte Caffey worked the crowd pleasantly, though, and were quite gracious. Jane Wiedlin had left early to get set up for a post-show soiree at her place.
Also seen:
Sara Gilbert (who played Darlene on the sitcom "Roseanne").

· Today at lunch in Oliver's of Beverly Hills, I noticed a few wannabe stars before catching the real thing. David Spade, long haired and t-shirted, sat in a booth on his own playing with a Sidekick and counting cash for about ten or fifteen minutes before leaving. Alone. He did manage to flirt with one of the blonde waitresses when he sat down, but otherwise his lephrechaun-like charm wasn't getting anyone hot. If there was a reason for him being there or purchases were made, it was entirely out of my line of sight.

· This week is ending on a high note. Spotted a delicious, but much shorter than I thought, gold-aviator sporting Lenny Kravitz dining al fresco at The Rose Cafe in Venice with friends and their spanking fresh, and really cute, baby. While not actively seeking attention, he was however positioned at a key table in the corner facing the door. Still, he's very, very yummy.

· Saw Adrien Brody at the Whole Foods on Fairfax & Santa Monica in WeHo, Saturday 7/15 at about 8 pm. Unassuming near the sushi case, if you don't count the fact that his handler was carrying his shopping basket for him. Wouldn't have notice it was him but for the goofy hat and HUGE nose... Seriously, that thing is larger than life.

· Scott Speedman, for the zillionth time, reading a script at Chango on Echo Park. Seemingly oblivious to the irritated glances of those who moved to just such a neighborhood to avoid just such a scenario — like, dude, could you at least be working on a fashion line/art collective/modern architecture photoblog? Noel would never play us like that.

· It's been a couple of weeks - but sighting so "Club Hollywood" worth the late submission.. Spotted "Weird Al" Yankovic having breakfast with a non-LA looking, salt-n-pepper-haired-yet-hot-chic at Urth Cafe. He's better looking in person than you would think, and younger than i thought he would be, too. Then, Aquaman himself, Adrian Grenier, came in and grabbed some coffee and split - only to return within minutes with a CD, which he bee-lined over to Yankovic. He is a total babe, tall and lean, and must be pretty funny too because whatever he said totally cracked up Yankovic and his guest. Then, Grenier and his baby blues was gone again. Al studied the liner notes and seemed pleased to find out the CD was actually of Greiner's band, and not some crap he picked up next door at the Bodhi Tree.

· Saw Adrian Grenier at M Cafe de Chaya on 7/11. I almost didn't think it was him because he was so skinny — his hair looked like a huge umbrella on top of his head. He pulled up in silver Prius and grabbed some take-out. But he must have been hungry because he was eating in his car for a couple of minutes before pulling out of the parking lot.

· Dimples in Burbank, Friday night around midnight. We were getting tired of the karaoke emcee's gay porn jokes, about to leave when Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman came in with a small group. They both got up on the little stage and wore prop hats, but then Jimmy stepped down and only Sarah sang. She sang Dixie Chicks' "Earl".

· (July 16th, around 4:00 p.m.)
Was stuck behind Joel Madden and Hillary Duff on the Beverly Center escalator. Joel was chatting with his tattoo'ed friends with unnatractively tight pants and Hillary was behind him on her cell phone. He kept glancing back at her and did not look amused. She was carrying pretty modest sized shopping bags. They went into CPK.

· Sunday, 7/16:

Saw Sandra Oh at Arclight, standing in the lobby around 2:30pm or so. She was with two guys, pretty nondescript. I just recall her being very normal, except that her face was pretty recognizable. If she had any makeup on, I didn't see it—and she was dressed like your average girl trying to stay cool—cute green halter top type thing. I think she had a hat on. Like I said, I don't remember much other than her face. She was smiling, seemed to be joking with the guys. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she's not actually as frighteningly skinny as I figured her to be. Don't get me wrong, she's still super thin, though.

· Jenny McCarthy at M de Chaya cafe on Melrose yesterday. She looks so normal-sized on the screen, but in real life she's miniature.

· Leaving Canter's Deli Saturday night around 1 am, we saw someone in a baseball cap pop out of the Kibbitz Room for a smoke. Looked up for a second and realized it was Luke Perry, all by himself. As the cliche goes, he's much smaller (shorter and skinnier) than expected, but he looks pretty good for someone who's supposed to be 50 years old or whatever. He was in his 30s when he did 90210, wasn't he?

· Attack of the D-listers and skanky stage moms. D-listers first: Lea Thompson, who was shooting a lifetime-ish movie at the Autry Museum. And then Ernie Hudson at Palermo in Los Feliz (my first Ghosbuster sighting!). Hey, let's not forget, he was in "Miss Congeniality" AND "The Crow." Awesome.

Skanky stage mom story: was out for a co-worker's birthday at Edendale. One of the friends had kids, and they were along (yes, I know people who bring their children to bars. That's okay, right?).
Anyway, the kid had on a Superman t-shirt, and was running around the back patio. A woman comes up to us with HER kid, also in a Superman t-shirt, and introduce him to us as her son, Tristan Lake Lebaeau, who played Lois Lane's kid in the movie. How desperate and sad, we thought, that she makes her kid actually wear the shirt from the movie he was in, and introduces him to strangers in bars? Plus, she was a complete skank - 40s years old and dressing like she was 18, clearly had work done, the whole nine yards. Viciously shudder-worthy.

· Last week I observed a bizarre tantrum involving Faye Dunaway at the local Rite Aid on Sunset & Fairfax. I had picked up my girlfriend at Cedars in the late afternoon, after a difficult invasive day procedure that morning, she asked that we stop on the way home to pick up her prescriptions. Thinking it was going to be a quick in & out, I ran in as she remained in the car.

When I arrived at the Pharmacy area there was one person ahead of me and she seemed to be having an intense conversation with the cashier. The frumpy, middle-aged woman was dressed in beige baggy pants, loose fitting top, baseball hat and reading glasses. Her blonde/gray hair was long and completely unkempt as if she had just rolled out of bed. The conversation quickly escalated in volume and now involved the actual pharmacist. The irate woman was insisting on a 'brand medication' and not generic! The pharmacist remained calm and said "I'm sorry Miss Dunaway but your doctor only prescribed the brand name". Now recognizing the actress, I was intrigued by her almost surreal temper tantrum over the next 20 minutes.

As my girlfriend still waited in the car, I observed Ms. Dunaway, in a playground voice, insisting that her doctor be called immediately! The pharmacist explained that it was now after office hours and would be difficult to reach the doctor. This response sent the actress over the edge as she screamed, "you just hit '0' when his machine picks up and if that doesn't work then just page him!!" I began to wonder what prescription it was that so urgently needed to be brand? Perhaps a tranquilizer or mood stabilizer. Oblivious to anyone else waiting, Ms. Dunaway began pacing back and forth in front of the counter ranting about the inefficiencies of her doctor, the pharmacy and others (inaudible). At this point it seemed more like a performance than a request for a pharmaceutical upgrade.

Finally, her doctor responded to the page and Faye got her way and her pills. The tirade ended with her stalking off and muttering incoherently. As I stepped up to the counter, the cashier and pharmacist made eye contact with me and shook there heads as if to say, " sorry, she's always that way'.
After picking up the medication and returning to the car, my exhausted and uncomfortable girlfriend asked what had taken so long. I looked at her and said "Mommie Dearest was having a bad day!"

As we had breakfast this morning, my now recovered girlfriend said the worst part of her post surgery was 'that wait in the car'. She then suggested I write Defamer and share the observation.

· Saw shock doc jock Morgan Spurlock (or someone with a handlebar moustache looking exactly like him) at Rambutan Thai in Silverlake. Hardly A-list, but good to see him eating real food. Oddly enough, I have his FX show coming to me today from Netflix.

· LAX, Terminal 1, Wednesday, July 12: I was waiting for my friend's flight to arrive Wednesday night when I saw Allison Janney wandering around with a much younger male companion (some actor guy; I've seen him in commercials and TV shows but wouldn't know who he is) looking for their gate. She is quite tall and thin, and she wore a big white hat and a casual outfit. She had a US Airways boarding pass in hand and was rolling her own carry-on. The guy went off for a bit, then came back to (I guess) direct her to their proper gate.

· I saw Gary Busey across the street from the Cher convention at the Marriot in Woodland Hills. He was pumping his own gas (Porsche) at that gas station on Topanga right by the freeway entrance. He was wearing a big white swag t-shirt, flip flops and looked a bit overheated and puffy. Please note that proximity to Cher convention is not a sighting AT the Cher convention, but just suspect enough to mention.

· Tonight, Sunday, July 16, my husband and I had dinner on the outdoor terrace of Asia de Cuba three tables away from a very handsome Josh Groban!
Josh looked relaxed and smiley—obviously enjoying the sunset view and having a great time.

· I was hanging at the Disneyland Resort yesterday, waiting in line for California Screamin', when my little sis looks over at the single rider line and spots Lance Bass. Standing next to him was Reichen Lehmkuhl, of course....but there were no females anywhere in sight! We tried not look too obvious after our ride was over, and we tried to grab a photo of the two after they got off the ride. However, they disappeared pretty quickly. We did see their ride photo-Lance was covering his face with his hat, and Reichen was full smiling into the camera. How cute....? Anyways, we spotted them a few more times in Disneyland, walking out of the Disneyana store (are they collectors??), and then walking into Space Mountain through the exit—I guess even C rate celebs get some special treatment! :P Neither one looked upset, nor did they really seem to be having a good time either...I guess someone was trying to smooth things over at the happiest place on earth!

· This is a little late as it happened last Wednesday...in a series of strange coincidences, Santino Rice came to my house the night of the Project: Runway premiere, and he and I watched that together, Just the Two of Us, like Grover Washington, Jr. and Bill Withers. It was the later showing, and actually we watched "Road to the Runway" first. He hadn't seen it yet and laughed at himself whenever he came on the TV. He also took pictures of himself on my TV with his cell. I The reason he was in my house at all was to shuttle my roommate's drunken ass (they met at a Starbucks a while back) around, which was very nice of him. He left his car running with the flashers on for the entire hour he waited for my roommate to barf and eat a tortilla before going out again. But he's an odd guy. I found him have just enough pomp to make you feel like you met somebody famous, yet enough humility to let you know he knows he's from reality TV. I agreed with him that he was robbed in Season 2, even though I never saw it. He's really tall. To sum up: yep people, that's right. Yours truly and yours truly alone watched Project: Runway's premiere with Santino. Don't hate me for being more special than anyone else, it's just the way it is.

· Jared Fogel: El Chollo restaurant at Wilshire and 11th... he came in with his disproportionately hot girlfriend/wife(?) and stepped up to the bar to start a tab. Now this is not someone you expect to spot in real life... (and didn't you sort of assume he lived in like Missouri or something? I sure did.) so I wasn't totally sure it was him (after all, he looked a little heavier than he was in his last Subway ad), but lo and behold the bartender asks him "What's the last name on the tab?" and he shouts, over the din of the crowd, "FOGEL". Let's hope he ate fresh.

· OK, well maybe not like spotting Blohan or Demi and Ashton but more like having a nice cup of coffee at Starbucks and not being hit on by a fledgling screentypist which is as close to Heaven as it gets I guess.

At LA Farm (steamed halibut is divine) was in between both Wayne Rogers, former randy Trapper John in MASH and now Sunday AM financial genius, and DavidfuckingMilch. Rogers was quite and polite wore the obiligatory pressed khakis and golf shirt. Milch was surrounded by other t-shirt clad older male producer-types and what I believe to be his t-shirt clad Yale summer interns. Note to females at table: looking like women is not a bad thing. Milch can get away with the rumply jeans and free t-shirts cuz he's rich and talented. You, not so much.

· One of the first American Idols, Justin Guarini and a male friend( no, his friend was too much of an asshole to be gay). They were drinking and cavorting between the two discreet celeb watering holes, La Poubelle and Birds on Franklin Ave, Thursday night, July 20th around 11:00PM. Justin settled at the less pretentious Birds, planting himself at one of the sidewalk tables. He was genteel, polite and engaged in vigorous conversation with those who sauntered over to his table. At 1:30AM his asshole friend jumped into a waiting convertible Corvette with a well-endowed but thoroughly weathered harlot. Justin waved and proceeded to walk home alone.
It was sight that would have made Paula Abul and David Hasselhoff tear up.

AMANDA Demme may have found a way around those pesky laws governing California liquor licenses that were cited when she was bounced from the Roosevelt Hotel a few months ago. We hear the party promoter extraordinaire is coming up with a "private house" concept, not unlike the traveling private party in L.A. called Xenii. "She will rent a house and have late-night parties where anyone, including [underage] people like Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton, can hang and not be bothered." The place should be ready by this fall - pity the neighbors.

The private venues will pose new creative challenges for Demme, particularly in designating which rooms will be assigned with VIP, VVIP, and VVVIP-access. A private party in the master bathroom should seem exclusive enough for B-list types, but for A-list clientele such as Lohan and Barton, Demme plans on posting two bouncers outside the cabinets beneath the kitchen sink, keeping the riff-raff from accessing the elite, beautiful people crammed inside.

• PRIVATE BOOZING [NY Post]

THINGS got ugly at the Hollywood Roosevelt over the weekend when a top Paramount exec was allegedly man handled, threatened and thrown out of the hotel by a doorman. Dee Poku, vice president of the studio's international marketing division, told Page Six, "They were pretty disgusting." While she wouldn't elaborate, a close pal said the drama erupted when Poku "was politely asking for one more guest on the list to get in to join a birthday party she was attending inside."

That's when the doorman inexplicably "verbally threatened" her, "grabbed her and threw her out into the street. She is totally traumatized," the friend said. The jolted exec, who is said to be mulling legal action, told a friend via e-mail: "I was in tears - they were so mean." The hotel said in a statement: "The guest was disrupting the hotel's security procedures with regards to checking IDs and asked to leave. We do not enjoy asking our patrons to leave, but were left no other choice. This particular guest was disruptive for over an hour."

The Roosevelt has obviously taken a less celebrity-obsessed approach to building buzz these days; under the Demme regime, the above story would've involved a dispassionate Amanda ordering one of her doormen to stungun the testicles of a second-tier One Tree Hill cast member, then having someone immediately call Page Six to brag about it. If the New Roosevelt can offer nothing better than an obscure Paramount exec having an hourlong hissy hit, they're going to have a hard time keeping their name in the tabloids.

• STUDIO EXEC GETS HOTEL BOOT [Page Six]

An insider says Demme is "sending spies to Teddy's to see if any of her former customers are still going there, so she can blackball them." But from where? Demme doesn't have any establishments at the moment, though she's hosting parties at Pure in Las Vegas. Director Ted Demme's widow had a problem with allowing famous underage drinkers to imbibe freely at the bars she ran. Our source snarked, "She can't really work in L.A. anymore - who will give her a liquor license?"

The blackballing idea strikes us as patently ridiculous, as Demme certainly wouldn't expect her patrons to go on the wagon while she looks for a local gig. Once she sets up her velvet rope and gets back to the important work of making sure that every underage starlet in this town has a clean, not-so-well-lighted place where they can get shitfaced in the company of an acceptably exclusive crowd, all regrettable flings with other enablers will be forgiven.

• NONE OF CLUBS [Page Six]

"I'm definitely an artist-businesswoman, in the sense that I love to find things I'm passionate about, and make them known to the rest of the world," she said. "I'm a brander, a marketer. I'm an idol maker."

There is a touch of hyperbole to everything about Ms. Demme, and an intensity that is inescapable (though not necessarily the embodiment of Zen). She talks of her pride in making Teddy's "the No. 1 destination spot in the United States," and calls the club "my 'Pulp Fiction.' " ("It was a masterpiece.") Her biography, provided by a publicist, pronounces her "one of the very rare few that can be called an artist, entrepreneur, trendsetter, tastemaker, star maker and connoisseur without any trace of irony or hype." (Perhaps that should read "intended irony.") It observes that she is "an eerily well-rounded person" and "the hub of a wheel of activity that few could possibly appreciate." [...]

After her initial torrent of bravado, Ms. Demme seemed ready to accept some of the criticisms [about how she ran her nightclubs and reasons for bad press]. "My weakness in life, and it's always been my weakness, is I may say something that can be misinterpreted in the moment," she said. "I don't blame the other person, I blame myself. I've gotten better, and I will be even better." [...]

"I'm always going to be Amanda Demme. I'm never going to modify my behavior to work in a man's world," she said. "But I'll learn my lessons, and be a better human being, a better mother and a better friend." She paused. "Maybe," she said, and paused again, "maybe I have to not be so precious on certain things. And pick and choose my battles."

Such feats of humility are much more easily performed in the sanctuary of one's home than while playing gatekeeper at the club; we probably won't see how much preciousness Demme has abandoned until she sets up shop at her next venue. Consider it a bad sign for continuing self-effacement if she anoints her head bouncer "St. Peter" and soberly informs him to separate the "saved" from the "miserable, WB-level wretches" damned to partying at the Brent Bolthouse-sponsored night down the street.

• Rough Dawn for a Nighttime Queen [NY Times]

Just saw Amanda Scheer Demme tearing around the corner at 3rd and Fairfax like a bat out of hell. A few helpless seniors crossing to do some early morning shopping at the Farmers Market were almost roadkilled by the crazed ASD driving a new-ish Mercedes SLK, hair in her face and huge ass sunglasses on—she looks exactly like the picture on Defamer.

Let the motorist beware: With the constant rain and Demme likely in the throes of road rage while she cruises our city's streets in search of talent to lure to her next ultra-exclusive and ever deeper concentric circle of celebrity-fellating nightclub hell, the roads have never been more treacherous.

• Previously: Amanda Scheer Demme: Out At Roosevelt, In At Location TBD [Defamer]

Jennifer Gross, Demme's rep, confirmed that the Roosevelt chose to exercise their right to buy out Demme and run the venues on their own. As to the reasons for Demme's departure, she called Page Six's report "innuendo and hearsay."

And Page Six:

AMANDA Demme may be down, but she's not yet out. Although the Hollywood Roosevelt is booting her and her clubs, Teddy's and the Tropicana, her rep says she's being "bought out" and thus will receive a hefty check for her efforts. Meanwhile, we hear Demme and her business partner, Michael Gruber, have been in talks with Pure in Las Vegas and the W Hotel chain to roll out a chain of Teddy's nationally. Demme's reps didn't return e-mails.

Again, we stress that we're not at all worried that she'll be gone from the scene for long (if at all) while her other deals go through. In the meantime, keep an eye out for her provisional space just outside of Privilege, Amanda Scheer Demme's Bottle Of Peppermint Schapps On A Dirty Cardboard Box Next to Wilmer Valderrama's Escalade.

• ALL DEMME CLUBS [NY Post]
• Hollywood Hot Spot Shut Down [TMZ.com]
• Previously: Amanda Scheer Demme To Be Cast Out Of Her Celebrity-Worshipping Eden? [Defamer]

In the mag's profile of powerhouse L.A. nightclub promoter Brent Bolthouse, an anonymous "business associate" of Scheer-Demme, explaining her decision not to pose for a picture with Bolthouse in the magazine, told writer Dave Gardetta, "We just think Bolthouse is so over, now that he's sold out to the Jew." The unidentified Scheer-Demme associate was referring to Sam Nazarian, who recently merged his fast-growing hospitality company SBE with Bolthouse's promotion business.

Called for comment, Scheer-Demme e-mailed Page Six: "Being a proud Jew, and having been a partner of Brent's at one time, I find it hard to believe that anyone I may know or work with would ever make an anti-Semitic comment like that, and I would never tolerate any form of racism or sexism in my company.

"I adore Brent and am friendly with Sam. This just seems to be a carefully worded attempt to provoke animosity, and it makes me upset to hear people talk like that. I am sickened by this statement, as well as by the person (whose article I coincidentally declined to participate in) who printed it in a clear attempt to attach me to it."

To ensure that this bit of nastiness blows over and to avoid retaliation by the Jewish Mafia, Scheer Demme will immediately enforce a "no Christians" policy at ultra-exclusive, A-list hidey-hole Teddy's. Should a Hilton or Lohan try to infiltrate the perimeter, Demme's bouncers will shoot them with tranquilizer darts and dump their limp, bony bodies in front of that evening's Bolthouse-sponsored event.

• SLUR IS TALK OF L.A. CLUB WORLD [NY Post]
• Previously: Jeremy Piven Loves The Nightlife [Defamer]

EVER-clever Jamie Foxx has a new party trick. The other night at Teddy's in L.A., the Oscar winner was drinking champagne with actors Dylan McDermott and Djimon Hounsou, PM Lounge owner Unik and some others. When the bill came, Unik grabbed it and Foxx said, "Let me get the tip." He reached into his shoulder bag, pulled out some cash and started slowly counting out singles. As his buddies began to giggle, Fox kept reaching and kept counting, finally dumping out 1,000 $1 bills on the table. Foxx got the last laugh - as he did two weeks ago in Las Vegas, when he tossed a huge roll of bills from a nightclub balcony. A small riot broke out but subsided quickly when the money-hungry mob realized they were jousting over $1 bills. Also at Teddy's were Joaquin Phoenix, Christian Slater, Paris and Nicky Hilton, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and Kirsten Dunst.

We doubt that the group's server complained too much about a $1,000 tip, even one delivered in such deliberately douchebaggish fashion. However, we fear that Foxx will soon become bored by the sight of scores of singles fluttering around as if the g-string of the most popular stripper at Crazy Girls suddenly snapped, and will escalate to the no less hilarious, but hygienically suspect, practice of tipping with hundred dollar bills on which he's urinated while his pals chuckle uncontrollably.

• KEEP THOSE SINGLES ROLLING [NY Post]

Please upgrade The Tropicana from "circling the drain" to "flushed". The end came Saturday night around 12:40am when, while enjoying myself at a poolside party, I felt something in the air behind me that chilled me to the bone, and when I turned around to investigate, it all made sense. I was in the unmistakable presence of the Grim Reaper himself:

Pauly Shore.

He was trying to work the "self-depreciating" routine on a group of 20-something wannabe chicks who ridiculed him mercilessly the second he walked away.

I like to think that somewhere out there Amanda "Club Promoters are REALLY Important!" Demme is curled up the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably...even though in reality she's probably lounging in a bathtub filled with honey and milk covered thousand dollar bills and eating souls.

We think this is all going according to the wily Demme's nefarious plan. As the evenings turn L.A.-chilly, she's probably spiriting all top-shelf F.O.A.s (Friends of Amanda) to the newly opened, absurdly exclusive Teddy's, protecting her best and most interesting pals from the harsh elements. A suddenly lax Tropicana entrance policy will draw in the Pauly Shores and the Tara Reids, who will instinctively huddle underneath heat lamps for warmth. Once enough cut-rate club-fodder is assembled by the pool, Demme will slash a finger across her throat, a signal to one of her minions to detonate the booby-trapped lamps and bring the Trop Era to a sudden, bloody end. Roosevelt drones will spend the off-season preparing the space for its next incarnation, but it will be an arduous process; they'll be finding charred bits of flesh tucked into scraps of server's tennis outfits or stripey blazers around the grounds for weeks, if not months. But come summertime, the New Tropicana will be ready for a second life.

• Previously: Amanda Scheer Demme Strikes Again [Defamer]
• Tales From The Trop: Growing Still Colder [Defamer]

What's the hottest patio in town? That would be the Tropicana Bar at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, or as the answering machine says, "Amanda Scheer Demme's Tropicana Bar." (When the name-dropping starts that early in the process, we regular Joes know we're in trouble.)

If you haven't heard of it, chances are you're over 35. This is the place where Paris and Nicky, Bruce Willis, Chris Kattan and Kirsten Dunst have been partying of late. It's located poolside at the once again fashionable hotel, and if you want to get in, well, good luck.

Fortunately, there are plenty of restaurants with sizzling patio scenes around town that will be happy to seat you even if your last name isn't Hilton.

The Times is really doing the public a disservice by even recognizing the existence of other patio-haunting options. If you're seen hanging out anywhere but The Trop, your publicist might as well take out a billboard over Sunset depicting your work with last season's lepers.

• Where to go for cool [LAT]
• Keeping The Plebes Away From The Pool [Defamer]
• The New Roosevelt Courts The Great And Interesting [Defamer]