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Al Roker Has His Katie Couric Gotcha Moment with Heidi & Spencer

Richard Lawson — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:09:18 EDT

Heidi and Spencer Pratt, the soulless blobs from The Hills and I'm a Celebrity... were on the Today Show this morning discussing their behavior on the latter show, and Al Roker, finally sensing an opportunity, went in for the kill.

He asked the wretched pair over and over again if they were "proud" of their behavior on the show—which involved slapping bottles out of Frangela's hands, claiming that they were tortured by NBC, and being baptized by Stephen Baldwin. Spencer just smirked and acted the cocky fool he always does while Roker barraged him with thinly-veiled insults and the flesh-bearded reality star eventually got lost in a thicket of his own doublespeak. Meanwhile Heidi just seemed meek and silly and as lost as she always does. Trenchant, hard-hitting stuff, Roker. Really good (maybe sexist?) stuff.

Next up is Willard Scott, who will totally nail a duck in the park with a question about Iran-Contra before hurling a jar of Smuckers at it and running away.

Friars Roast-Crashing Tom Cruise Reunited with Glib Tormentor Matt Lauer

Kyle Buchanan — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:40:14 EDT

If Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise could patch things up after Cruise called her a pseudoscience-worshiping devil-thetan incubator (we're paraphrasing), then surely, we thought, Cruise and Matt Lauer could eventually let bygones be bygones. You may remember how the actor and anchorman tussled back in 2005 when Cruise accused Lauer of not personally, personally understanding either Ritalin, postpartum depression, or why the son survived in War of the Worlds. Now, we hear, the Friars Club Roast of Lauer that just concluded in New York featured a surprise, couch-jumping guest. Says KTU reporter Paul Westcott:

Cruise showed up to the roast, and they just hugged it out — literally!

A Photoshopped montage of fake Lauer/Cruise buddy pics followed their embrace. Cruise joked that he and Lauer actually speak 3-4 times a day, and that Lauer gave him some great advice: "Hey Top Gun — you think when people come on my show, they don't want to hear about dopy movies?"

In a hilarious tweak of Scientology, Cruise was cut off when Lauer's Today Show partner in crime Al Roker came on stage and joked that Cruise couldn't stay long because "the spaceship is about to leave soon."

Sadly, their weak sauce banter was no match for the acerbic Katie Couric lines that followed:

*"Wow, I haven't received as much applause since I told [my bosses at CBS] that I was considering leaving."

"How cool was it that Tom Cruise came? Matt, don't worry about that interview. Tom wanted to be the only man in the room who people thought was gay."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Katie, for a Suppressive Person, you sure can manage some zingers! Just don't be surprised when you get the obligatory letter from Bert Fields, and remember: you, too, can be kneecapped.

Live from the Matt Lauer Friars Club Roast, Hosted by Goumba Johnny! [KTU]

Ice-T and Al Roker Turn 'Celebrity Family Feud' Into Their Own Prime-Time Smut Showcase

STV — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:30:00 EDT

The state of American game-show relations achieved a dizzying new high Tuesday night when Ice-T, Joan Rivers and their respective broods faced off in a very special episode of Celebrity Family Feud. It hardly seemed a sure thing at first; we doubted Ice and host Al Roker could outdo their tasteful wife-for-hire exchange at the top of the show, or that Rivers could overcome the tremulous, post-Russell Crowe Fucking SlutGate gunshyness in time to produce for a national audience. But the rapper more than picked up the slack in the very first feud, wringing potty-mouthed ignominy from Roker's loaded solicitation, "Name something that's slippery and hard to hold on to." And while we may never know the true degree of Ice's ensuing, bleeped filth or his earlier, "Watch it, Al" threat to Richard Dawson's debauched spiritual heir, the possibility that we could love again after The Moment of Truth was never clearer or more reassuring. [NBC via RedLasso]

Kathy Griffin And Al Roker Lap Dance Their Way Towards A Legendary Moment In Live Television History

Molly Friedman — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:00:00 EDT

For any of you out there who still don’t “get” Kathy Griffin, we now present you with a single clip that will effectively prompt a lifelong love affair with the red-headed, fast-talking, Scientology-bashing spark plug of an entertainer that she is. On the Today Show this morning, giggly Al Roker had the pleasure of speaking with Kathy about her upcoming hosting job of Bravo’s inaugural A-List Awards and not-so-innocently asked her if there was really anything she wouldn’t do on camera, considering her reputation as a truthiness-telling comedienne who never holds back. What followed was a delicious and epic moment in television history, during which Roker was given a lap dance, off-screen staffers were overheard gasping, and images of a Roker/Matt Lauer/Halle Berry threesome in “the big bed” were thrust into our collective imagination.

After lifting our jaw off the ground upon hearing Roker's response to the Griffin bump and grind ("Anyone got any cigarettes?"), we had to relocate our jaw once again as Griffin swiftly switched subjects to her hosting gig and, in a well-executed non-seguitur, finally said what has needed to be said about to-be rap star Ali Lohan for quite some time now. Explaining that she was given the job due to Ali and Dina Lohan's conflicting schedules (a joke, people, relax), she went ahead and launched our inner monologue right out into America's eardrums: "Yeah, Ali was busy doing her hip hop CD, because, you know, she’s white and 14 and lives on Long Island, so hip hop speaks to her." Oh Kathy. What was Woz thinking?

THE TODAY SHOW [NBC]