Gawker: defamer, advertisers

Touching Our Advertisers In All The Right Places

Mark — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 16:13:44 EDT

Please join us for the regularly scheduled break in which we pamper this week's sponsors with slowly fanned palm fronds and hand-fed grapes, hoping that our constant, loving attention leads to higher advertising expenditures in the future. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and one day have your toughest muscular knots kneaded out by our strong hands (note: happy endings are reserved for those willing to fund a site takeover), see this page:

· Audi
Blackberry
Decemberists
E! Online
Jane Magazine
Mini's First Time
Running with Scissors
SV Supreme Vodka
Top Chef
Volver
Yahoo

We've Chosen Armani To Design The Dress In Which We'll Finally Wed Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 15:40:54 EDT

Drop everything you're doing—we mean it this time—and commit to memory this list of the fine products, movies, media companies, musical organizations, and craft booze producers whose online advertising dollars have kept us employed this past week; without them, we'd be right back to fetching some producer's dogs from the Chateau Marmutt. (Please don't make us go back.) If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and incite a spending spree by this city's most acquisitive consumers, see this page.

· Audi
Blackberry
Decemberists
E! Online
Jane Magazine
LA Philharmonic
Running with Scissors
SV Supreme Vodka
Volver

Rubbing Scented Lotion Onto the Tired, Sore Feet Of Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:09:15 EDT

Please join us in our weekly moment of praise for the brave men, women, products, and services who have made the supreme sacrifice of their online advertising dollars so that we can continue to bring you important updates about the new and exciting ways that Mel Gibson finds to apologize to the people who are "not blameless" in their participation in selected armed conflicts. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and temporarily keep us off the bread line, see this page.

· Audi
Altoids
Blackberry
Comedy Central
Decemberists
Jane Magazine
Los Angeles Philharmonic
Running with Scissors
SW Supreme Vodka

We Never Fake It With Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 16:22:26 EDT

Please join us in celebrating the unbreakable bond we share with this week's sponsors, a relationship based only on mutual respect and all-consuming passion, not on the cynical advancement of our careers or the promotion of an upcoming movie. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and feel the heat of our love, see this page.

· Audi
Jane Magazine
The Decemberists
SV Supreme Vodka
Comedy Central
Altoids
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Blackberry
Battlestar Galactica
Running with Scissors

Exchanging Heartfelt, But Legally Nonbinding, Vows Of Eternal Love With Our Advertisers On A White Cataraman Off The Coast Of Nassau

Mark — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 16:43:31 EDT

It's once again time to step up to the glory-hole of commerce by thanking this week's line-up of sponsors, who never fail to provide the kind of anonymous satisfaction we desperately crave each Friday, If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and earn your very own weekly bullet-point, see this page.

· Scissor Sisters
Jane Magazine
American Apparel
Decemberists
La Rocca
SV Supreme Vodka
Comedy Central
Altoids
Cat Power
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Blackberry
Running with Scissors

Dancing With The Advertising Stars

Mark — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 16:25:37 EDT

Watch as we take the hands of this week's sponsors and attempt to lead them in a sensual tango, which an obnoxious, implacable British judge will deem "about as hot as a slow-dance with my incontinent grandmother." If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have us stomp all over your delicate feet, see this page.

· Black Dahlia
Studio 60
Altoids
Random House
Employee of the Month
8th and Ocean
The U.S. v. John Lennon
Unknown White Male
American Apparel
La Rocca
Rogue's Gallery
The Lemonheads

Laying Our Advertisers On A Bed And Smiling At Them Like They're Our Actual Biological Children

Mark — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 16:42:40 EDT

It's time again to pause and thank this week's sponsors, whom we adore more than The Family Cruise pretends to love that Asian orphan they rented for their Vanity Fair photo shoot. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and buy a similar level of devotion, see this page.

· Black Dahlia
Nokia
The Humane Society
Guy and Rodd
H&M
American Apparel
La Rocca
Rogue's Gallery
The Lemonheads
Cirque du Soleil

High Focus-Group Scores For Our Sponsors

Seth — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 17:53:25 EDT

Stand with us for a moment behind the two-way mirror, and gush like a proud parent as the focus group on the other side of the glass extols the many-splendored virtues of our sponsors—companies whose goods and services in their opinion will never get sufficient screen time. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer yourselves, everything you need to know is right here.

· Humane Society
· Little Miss Sunshine
· Universal Pictures
· H&M
· American Apparel
· Guy and Rodd
· Sony Pictures
· VW Rabbit
· Stoli Blueberi
· Outkast
· Fox Searchlight
· KT Tunstall
· M*A*C Cosmetics
· The Gin Blossoms

Licking The Faces Of Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 17:11:21 EDT

We would never urinate in front of our advertisers while offering them narcotics, for that would be off-putting and illegal. However, should we ever have the chance, we would happily lick their perfect faces after bragging about our imminent sexual conquest of Farrah Fawcett, for then they would truly feel desired. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and join our after-party grope session, see this page.

· Comedy Central
Toyota Yaris
Fox Searchlight
Sony Pictures
The Humane Society
Showtime
American Apparel
Guy and Rodd
On Native Soil
VW Rabbit
Stoli Blueberi
Outkast
M*A*C Cosmetics
KT Tunstall
Oxygen
Absolut Ruby Red

No Matter What The Rags Say, We Officially Deny That We Are Engaged To Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 16:15:44 EDT

Hosanna in the highest to this week's sponsors, whose beneficent conferring of monetary grace hath washed away the stain of original sin. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have a loyal cult of Hollywood worshipers happily tithe half their earnings to your company, see this page.

· Fox Searchlight
Sony Pictures
VW Rabbit
Toyota Yaris
Comedy Central
Guy and Rodd
Showtime
The Humane Society
Stoli Blueberi
Bravo
Absolut Ruby Red
KT Tunstall
M*A*C Cosmetics

No Need To Hide Our Advertiser Love

Mark — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 16:09:13 EDT

Join us as we celebrate our love for this week's sponsors, a big, gay geyser of proud feelings that need not be concealed by a bucket hat on a 4 a.m. booty call. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and earn yourself a somewhat nonsenical expression of devotion in this space, see this page.

· Stoli Blueberi
VW Rabbit
Fox Searchlight
Weeds
Toyota Yaris
Bravo
Absolut Ruby Red
KT Tunstall
Sub Zero
M*A*C Cosmetics
Brothers of the Head

Advertisers Touch Us In the Morning And Then Just Walk Away

Mark — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 16:50:55 EDT

Time again to pause and listen to the celestial trumpet blasts accompanying our weekly expression of love for this week's sponsors, who are trailed everywhere by a retinue of adorable cherubs. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and receive the Lord's blessing for your movie, automobile, or flavored premium vodka, see this page.

The Gawker Media Mothership has once again requested that we prevail upon you to complete a brief survey which will assist them in the more efficient pimping out of your eyeballs to future advertisers. See below for the exciting details.

· Bravo
VW Rabbit
Brothers of the Head
Banana Republic
Fox Searchlight
American Apparel
Toyota Yaris
PBS
Stoli Blueberi

Once more, with feeling: Hey, would you like a chance to win a free iPod Shuffle? Oh, of course you would! Just take a couple of minutes to answer these easy survey questions and you'll get a shot at winning Apple's fine music-playback product. Just remember that you're agreeing to our contest rules by participating. Fun!

Making Love To Our Advertising Clone On the Beach

Mark — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 16:06:56 EDT

Let us pause to recognize the important contributions of those who transmitted funds to the monolithic, worldwide blogging concern that owns this site in return for the advertisement of their goods and services. Indeed, we think we're experiencing romantic love for this week's sponsors, whose names are reprinted below. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have us absentmindedly doodle your name on the back of our Trapper Keeper, see this page.

Oh, and don't forget to read about the exciting opportunity to win an iPod described below. We're gonna keep pimping it until enough of you fill out the survey, so help us help you not be nagged again.

· BMW
Brothers of the Head
Stoli Blueberi
PBS
VW Rabbit
Fox Searchlight
Twins of Tribeca

Hey, would you like a chance to win a free iPod Shuffle? Oh, of course you would! Just take a couple of minutes to answer these easy survey questions and you'll get a shot at winning Apple's fine music-playback product. Just remember that you're agreeing to our contest rules by participating. Fun!

We Love Our Advertisers For Their Minds, Not Their Perfect, Toned Bodies

Mark — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 16:31:43 EDT

Welcome once again to the post where we interrupt our coverage of suspiciously unseen celebrity infants to offer a word of thanks to the people who send us money in exchange for placing tiny, unobtrusive advertisements on this site for products and services you can't possibly live without. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and join the online advertising revolution, see this page.

· BMW
Stoli Blueberi
PBS
VW Rabbit
Walkmen
Hersheys
Fox Searchlight
Twins of Tribeca

Advertiser Armpit-Licking

Mark — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 16:05:39 EDT

Please join us in celebrating the monetary and spiritual contributions of this week's sponors, whose continuing support may allow us to keep this site afloat long enough to finally gaze on a photograph of Tom Cruise's baby. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and help us wait out Tom and Suri, see this page.

· BMW
· Stoli Blueberi
· PBS
· VW Rabbit
· Nike
· Showtime
· Walkmen
· Scoop
· Masters of Horror
· Hersheys
· Twins of Tribeca

Doing The Wave For Our Sponsors

Seth — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 19:14:45 EDT

Please join us now as we take a moment to rejoice in our venerated sponsors, each and every one of which deserves their own themed baseball night. No single, racist arm gesture performed simultaneously by a stadium full of fans could adequately relay just what they mean to us, however. If you'd like to join their major leagues, simply go here.

· Stoli Blueberi
· BMW
· VW Rabbit
· Nike
· Kensington Books
· Sundance Channel
· Hersheys
· Evian
· Walkmen
· Counting Crows
· USA Network's Psych
· Project Runway
· Jane Magazine

Totally In Love With Our Advertisers, Despite The Icky Age Difference

Mark — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 16:11:05 EDT

Now is the time when we grab the hands of this week's sponsors and skip along the beach, totally unaware of the nasty teenagers who are scoffing at the joyful, silly way we're swinging our arms. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and get started on your plan to become the most powerful company in your industry of choice, see this page.

· BMW
· VW Rabbit
· Nike
· Stoli Blueberry
· Hersheys
· Evian
· Psych from USA Network
· Project Runway
· Counting Crows
· Walkmen
· Jane Magazine

Climbing A Walnut Tree For Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 16:02:18 EDT

Join us in our brief expression of our undying devotion to this week's sponsors, a collection of incredibly generous corporate interests who want nothing more than to bring joy to all our lives. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and help ease the world's suffering, see this page.

· BMW
· American Apparel
· HBO
· Stoli Blueberry
· VW Rabbit
· Dog Bites Man
· Hersheys
· Evian
· Zero 7
· Counting Crows
· Gnarls Barkley
· Walkmen
· Jane Magazine
· Cirque du Soleil

Plague-Free Love For Our Advertisers

Seth — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 19:58:20 EDT

Let us take a moment of silence to express our deep gratitude for all the wonderful luxuries readily available to us that we regularly take for granted, such as the products, and/or services of our beloved sponsors. If you would like to help shield the world from suffering by advertising with us, everything you need to know is right here.

· American Apparel
· Bravo
· BMW
· HBO
· Lifetime
· Dog Bites Man
· Hersheys,
· Evian
· Gnarls Barkley
· Walkmen
· Conde Nast
· Oxygen Network
· Queer as Folk

Also, as a special treat, the cocksuckerest show about life in the old west, Deadwood, is having a contest to celebrate the release of its Season 2 release on DVD. Details are after the jump.

"It's time to get down-and-dirty with Al, Bullock and Trixie. The complete
second season of HBO's Deadwood, a 5-time Emmy winner, takes you to a place where everyone's raunchy and ruthless. Including the men. If you don't want
to try your luck, buy Deadwood Season 2 now at Amazon.com."

Simply e-mail Deadwood[at]Defamer.com with your best freestyle Swearengen-style cuss-off, and instead of getting your mouth washed out with a bar of Lava, you'll instead be rewarded for your colorful vocabulary with a copy of the entire Season 2 DVD set. Please have your entries in by 8 p.m. PST. Good luck, you cocksucking whorefuckers!

On A Namibian Getaway With Our Advertisers

Mark — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 15:56:36 EDT

Join us in recognizing our love for this week's sponsors, with whom we would happily retreat to a povery-stricken African nation in hopes of shielding the birth of our love child from the world's harsh glare. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and marinate in the same kind of passion, see this page.

· American Apparel
· Bravo
· BMW
· HBO
· Lifetime
· Dog Bites Man
· Hersheys
· Evian
· Gnarls Barkley
· Walkmen
· Conde Nast
· Oxygen Network
· Queer as Folk