This YouTube video came via a tipster who writes, "Hi; I'm not sure how this works, but I got this footage from the set of Entourage the other day. Matt Damon was directing a PSA starring Adrian Grenier and he flips out on Adrian in front of everyone! [It] even shows Jeremy Piven as he tries to keep the peace - but Matt totally loses his cool and goes off."

We, on the other hand, are pretty sure how this works: Have a Hollywood star do a cameo playing himself on your Hollywood-focused TV show so he can promote his charity, incorporate an ego-driven blow-up on the set of a PSA into the plot, make a fun, shaky little video of said blow-up, put it on YouTube, and send it to gullible blogs claiming that it depicts a real on-set blow-up, which blogs will write about it and drive traffic to it in advance of the show's season finale featuring the Hollywood star.

What the hell, we'll bite. It's Friday. Also, go give money to OneXOne.org, because it looks like a fine little shop. But whatever you do, please stop watching Entourage.

Boomp3.com

Thirsty Tuesday hit an unfortunate sour note for one fan of the popular HBO series Entourage when its star Adrian Grenier entered the bar. The fan attempted to confront Grenier about the program's declining quality but soon fled tearfully, leaving only boyfriend left in the bar. The boyfriend gave Grenier the Cliff Notes version of the situation, explaining how despondent she’s been since Entourage's slide. Never one to disappoint a fan, Grenier flew out of the bar, rushed down the street, caught up with the sobbing woman and gave her a big hug. He then clutched her tightly, leaning in to whisper something in her ear. The tears quickly faded into a smile and a look of optimism. Grenier and the woman left their embrace and started to walk back to the bar. “Also," Grenier added, "the economy is going to bounce back. It always does.”

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Looking to recover from his recent split with actress Isabel Lucas, Adrian Grenier headed to the beaches of Malibu with his trusty acoustic guitar. A gaggle of women quickly circled around the hunky environmentalist as he began to bear his soul with some recently penned tunes. One woman was really impressed by the songs and suggested that he pursue his music for awhile. Grenier told the woman that he had weighed his options numerous times and is "thisclose" to hanging it all up and just riding the rails with a song in his heart. The woman replied, "That's so deep."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Alec Baldwin, Whoopi Goldberg, Eva Longoria, Rosie O'Donnell and other celebrities will be featured in Adrian Grenier's upcoming documentary "Teenage Paparazzi."

Grenier's film, which surfaced on gossip sites when the actor was seen around Los Angeles with interview subject Paris Hilton, explores his relationship with a 14-year-old paparazzo who took his photo.

The docu will feature Grenier interviewing actors and commentators — including Martin Landau, Noam Chomsky and "Daily Show" comedian Lewis Black — about the culture of fame.

Good on Longoria, who's always available to lend her voice to a doc or reality show if it helps elucidate the public on the perils of leading a fame-craving life in the public eye. Still, what Grenier hopes to learn from this cinematic exploration isn't entirely clear; perhaps it's nothing more than a coming-of-paparazzi-age tale, culminating in a touching scene in which he teaches his young pursuers about the birds and the bees by guiding them frame-by-frame through their own video of the actor making it with a model outside Joe's Pub.

• Stars come out for 'Paparazzi' [THR]
• Teens Join Paparazzi [CBS News]

• WATCH VIDEO

In today's installment: Ryan Seacrest, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel (twice!), Michael Keaton, Adrian Grenier, Calista Flockhart, Lorne Michaels, John Krasinski, Amanda Bynes, Florence Henderson, Balthazar Getty, Eric Dane, Channing Tatum (twice!), JC Chasez, Katherine McPhee, David Boreanz, Kevin and AJ from the Backstreet Boys, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Kevin Garnett, Sam Cassell, Hailey Duff, Samantha Mathis, Dave Navarro, Wayne Brady, Charlie Day, Mary Elizabeth Ellis and more!

FRIDAY, JULY 11

· CHANNING TATUM at Fitness Factory on Santa Monica and La Peer. Kind of pudgy and looking like an extra from 8 Mile. Don't understand the heartthrob status at all.

· Saw KEVIN RICHARDSON from the Backstreet Boys at Lucky Devils on Hollywood Blvd on Friday night with three blonds and another guy. While eating, AJ from BSB spotted him from the street and came in to say hello. What are the odds? Kevin looked the exact same, AJ was much more bearded than I remember.

SATURDAY, JULY 12

· Saw JOHN KRASINSKI at Animal on Fairfax. He was wearing a ball cap indoors and was very unshaven, like a couple more days and you have to call that thing a beard. I don't think he arrived with anyone and didn't seem like he was particularly chatting up any of the ladies at his table; I think it was a birthday party and he knew one or two people there already.

SUNDAY, JULY 13

· At the Arc Light Sherman Oaks for Wall-E (yes, I like to see all summer movies, but only after waiting a few weeks; an August Dark Knight screening is already planned) when I saw KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR, as did everyone else in a 500-yard radius. Intellectually, I knew that he's over seven feet, but until you see it in person, you just don't know how tall that is. He was friendly and seemed to be chatting with a couple random fans.

· Saw SAMANTHA MATHIS with a friend @ Figaro on Sunday afternoon. So cute with not a drop of makeup on.

MONDAY, JULY 14

· Stopped at a light in Sunset Plaza, glanced to the right and saw JAMES WOODS sitting at an outdoor table at Cafe Med. Unfortunately he was with another guy and not engaged in any provocative James Woods behavior like canoodling with a twentysomething or holding up his I.Q. score or M.I.T. diploma. Rather, he was just behaving like a normal citizen, albeit one who sits where all the tourists, not to mention tetchy locals like me, will spot him.

TUESDAY, JULY 15

· Saw RYAN SEACREST Tuesday night at the Coldplay show. Posed for photos with fans and seemed really nice.

· Almost ran over Punky Brewster (SOLEIL MOON FRYE) and hubby at the Beachwood Market. They were standing in the middle of the street. Girlfriend lost the pregnancy pounds fast.

· Just saw ADRIAN GRENIER making out with some model looking chick outside Joe's in Venice on Abbot Kinney. He had her pushed up against a wall and they were all over each other. Couldn't hear if he asked her if he could F the S out of her, but it kinda looked like he was trying to do that against the building. Even when I yelled "Get a room," Vinnie didn't even look up. I should have sprayed him with a hose......

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16

· Spotted JC CHASEZ at the Grove movie theatre, accompanied by a shorter, Filipino-looking woman, and a little boy who appeared to be her son. JC was sporting a black baseball cap and black shorts, and interacted with the boy in a cute, fun uncle way. He was squatting down so they could chat, and I overheard him telling the kid in a "hey, did you know" type voice, that his friend so-and-so choreographed the dance for (insert nameless piece of children's entertainment that may or may not have impressed the boy). Identity = confirmed. Bonus points for friendly interaction with children.

· While waiting to board my flight back to LA at the Seattle airport on 7/16, I saw CALISTA FLOCKHART with her son getting in line. She was very petite and dressed down for comfort. No sign of Indiana Jones.

THURSDAY, JULY 17

· KATHERINE MCPHEE looking amazingly cute at Fitness Factory. Also, DAVID BOREANZ. Good haircut.

· I saw MICHAEL KEATON chatting and smiling with some hot 40-something blonde while he ate outside at Amelia's on Main in Santa Monica; they seemed friendly and focused on his NY Times. I see him there often and he usually looks old, rundown, and bitter. I was surprised to see him looking fit and kinda hot. Turns out the blonde had two young sons, who were inside, she left once she got her latte, so they weren't together.

· At the Jason Falkner show @ Spaceland, one tall, friendly-eyed RYAN GOSLING. Good taste in music, very good chest.

FRIDAY, JULY 18

· Last night, 7-8 pm, saw CHANNING TATUM with his Personal Trainer at The Fitness Factory in West Hollywood.

· Ballers KEVIN GARNETT and SAM CASSELL scheming on some LA hos at Caffe Primo.

· HAILEY DUFF with a boyfriend (?) waiting for her breakfast at Aroma Cafe in Studio City.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

· AMANDA BYNES having breakfast with two friends at Jumpin' Java in Studio City. Her friends barely got any words in, she didn't stop talking.

· In line at the Arclight, I saw CHARLIE DAY and MARY ELIZABETH ELLIS - aka Charlie and The Waitress from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A nice culty sighting. I half stepped out of line and went "STOP. I AM A HUGE FAN" much to the confusion of nearby Arclight patrons.

· My friends saw BOB SAGET at GLOW. Hell yeah.

· ERIC DANE and BALTHAZAR GETTY were meeting for a late lunch at King's Road Cafe. Both wearing shades, smoking, talking and looking rather stone-faced. Balt looked over his shoulder a few times, seemed a little paranoid, smoked more than his companion — whose appeal I still don't understand. They left the table at one point to check out the news stand, returned with nothing, and I can only hope that Balt used it as an opportunity to show Eric his latest vacation pics.

· DAVE NAVARRO and two hotties at El Coyote last night for drinks.

SUNDAY, JULY 20

· After the Feist/Sharon Jones show at the Hollywood Bowl, we were delighted to see FLORENCE HENDERSON boarding our shuttle. We tittered too much about this and the two middled aged ladies behind us told us to mind our manners.

· JESSICA BIEL at City Bakery at the Brentwood Country Mart. Looks exactly like any paparazzi picture you've ever seen of her - pulled back hair, no makeup, angular face. She had on sweatpants, gladiator sandals, and the biggest purse I've ever seen in my life. She managed to somehow look sad, pissed, rushed, and confused, all at the same time. Bizarre.

· I was standing in the walkway between the super seats and the boxes at the hollywood bowl for Feist, and who should walk by me but JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL. Totally incognito. No one recognized them. Instead of turning to go down to the boxes, they turned up and walked about halfway up into the H section, scooted by everyone in their row, and sat down quietly. Totally normal people. It was kinda cool.

MONDAY, JULY 21

· LORNE MICHAELS enjoying a sandwich and fries at Campanile with Paramount's JOHN LESHER and some dude today. Bit of a belly on the Lornester. Lesher was rocking the Homer Simpson short-sleeves w/ tie look. Pasty white arms.

· WAYNE BRADY at Coldstone Creamery in Sherman Oaks.

NOT DATED

· ROMA MAFFIA (Dr. Liz from Nip/Tuck) in line at the Silver Lake Gelson's on a weekday afternoon, first week of July. Looked pleasant with a peaceful smile on her face, more vibrant than she appears on tv. Could have been the lipstick talking, as her make-up was more noticeable than what ladies typically wear for a midday trip to the grocery store.

[Photo Credit: Film Magic]

”Joel Madden spent a boozy night partying with Lindsay...Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers.”

As delighted as we are that recent gossip about Lohan has involved nudity and boys rather than drugs and DUIs, her fetish for robbing frenemies of their boyfriends is a long-standing Lohanism. We look back at some of her most classic crimes of passion after the jump.

We tend to think Lohan's habit of man-theft all started with that infamous catfight she had with Hilary Duff over Aaron Carter (yes, really, there was a time when he was the cat's pajamas) , who supposedly cheated on Lohan with the blonde teenybopper. But that one incident hardly justifies Lindsay's rap sheet since then:

May 2006: It's hard to feel bad for fellow seductress Paris Hilton, but her lovey dovey relationship with Stavros Niarchos (what ever happened to that guy by the way?) came to an abrupt end after Lohan was spotted "dirty dancing" with him at a club.
October 2007: After pissing off Paris, Lindsay took her fetish up a notch while in rehab, where she met and began dating snowboarder Riley Giles. The only problem? He was engaged to some poor girl in Utah at the time.
January 2008: And as recently as January, Lohan was linked to Adrian Grenier while big-bottomed girl Kim Kardashian was allegedly dating the Entourage star.

February 2008: Just one month later, Lindsay brought out her Paris-hating claws once again, managing to win the fight over girly song-singer James Blunt.

• NICOLE RICHIE CRUSHED AFTER CATCHING JOEL MADDEN WITH LINDSAY LOHAN [Star]

boomp3.com

Gossip Girl Leighton Meester propositioned her Entourage co-star Adrian Grenier as a means to fight off boredom. Meester told Grenier that it wouldn't mean anything, it'd just be a little harmless kissing. Grenier thought about it for a moment, but said that he's kind of involved with somebody at the moment. Jerry Ferrara, better known as Turtle, quickly offered up his services as a time killer to Meester, but she said that she'll get back to him on that one.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

boomp3.com

Woman In Hat: So, are you going to read that book the whole time?
Adrian Grenier: Yeah-uh.
W.I.H.: Then why did you invite me out to lunch if you just wanted to read your book?
AG: So, I won't look like this generation's Howard Hughes for once.
W.I.H.: I think we already know that.
AG: I know that we know that, but they don't know that.
W.I.H.: What? That you piss into jars and take dumps in a big hole in your backyard?
AG: Got to be green by any means necessary.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

While it's always encouraging to hear that talented people like Stanley Tucci don't suck, our hearts are actually warmed considerably more by the thought that Grenier, our favorite card-carrying Democrat, blew off a scheduled interview to attend a competing film festival. Before, of course, an earnest round of blanking in his hotel room.

In today's episode: Javier Bardem; Gary Oldman; Lindsay Lohan, Adrian Grenier, and Danny Masterson; Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman; Jesse Metcalfe; Kyle MacLachlan; Matthew Fox; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale; Billy Baldwin; Minnie Driver; Chelsea Clinton; Paula Abdul; Chris Noth and Sarah Chalke; Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa.

· Musing that I hadn't spotted a celeb since Richard E. Grant in Soho (London) the day before Thanksgiving (I know, it doesn't count), when I saw Javier Bardem, accompanied by an ND woman (only saw her from the back), eating what I assumed was the ubiquitous Pinkberry and walking along Abbott Kinney Blvd. Saturday (the 12th). V., v. hunky. Has a large cranium.

· Sunday afternoon, 1/13, Aroma Cafe on Tujunga. Along with all the
bitches (literally and figuratively) clogging up the joint was Gary Oldman, with a youngish woman, looking startlingly hot. I've always had a Gary thing but deee-ayum! Tall, stylish, excellent hair and all-around looking good. He can Rosencrantz my Guildenstern anytime. Sorry, I had to go there.

· Saw LiLo, with entourage in tow, exiting the Arclight last night (Jan 13). Pretty sure she watched THE ORPHANAGE as a similar size group shuffled in during the trailers. She was lighting up on her way out of the theater so I am guessing she didn't get the gig of spokesperson for Ariva, the smoking cessation lozenges.

· I had three celeb sightings at the Arclight Theatre last night,
Sunday the 13th:
1) Adrian Grenier, looking normal and looking for his friends.
2) Danny Masterson sporting a strike-beard and an "I'm so indie and hip 'cause I have a radio show" porkpie hat.
3) Lindsay Lohan. Yes, she was wearing leggings, shiny black ones (that actually looked spandex) with a big oversized blue t-shirt and a big black hoodie/sweatshirt/jacket (I didn't want to stare so I didn't get a good look. Also I was very busy trying not to laugh at the leggings).
I usually don't care about seeing the famous, but seeing Lilo in
leggings after reading the FUG girls complaining about how that's all she owns... well, it was too good not to pass on.

· Kaysu-Ya on Sunday, 01/13, Jesse Metcalfe with two male friends. Also, on Sunday, Danny DeVito & Rhea Perlman hiking with son (?) and dogs at Franklin Canyon Park.

· Saw Kyle MacLachlan with a table full of younger men at Ghengis Cohen Friday night. None of the guys could have been over 30 years old. As far as I'm aware, KM is straight, but it was enough to make you ponder the opposite. He looked adorably preppy in jeans and a polo.

· Jan 11 - Drove past Matthew Fox, who was stopped at the Holloway/LaCienega light in a Silver Mercedes M-Class. Even by himself in traffic, the guy's default expression is one of wide-eyed disdain for your stupidity. Oh, I guess my stupidity. But then, at least I have more than one friggin' expression in my repertoire. No Oscar wins in his future, methinks.

· It was a Star Sighting Sunday.

Heading west on Beverly just after brunch when I spotted an attractive, sunglass-covered blonde in the passenger seat of a black Range Rover behind me. She looked make-up free, but with a signature tartan plaid newsboy cap, there was no mistaking it was Gwen Stefani. I craned my head to get a look at the driver, and sure enough it was Gavin Rossdale in sunglasses and black thermal top. They were driving casually with all windows down to enjoy the amazing weekend weather. IMHO, they challenge Brangelina for best-looking-couple EVER.

Later that night at Century City mall, spotted Stephen Baldwin with a couple friend heading to the movies. He looks exactly as he does on Dirty Sexy Money. [Ed. note: They must have meant Billy Baldwin.] I expected messier/bloat-ier, but he looked pretty good.

· While shopping at the Hollywood Farmer's Market today (1/13), I spotted a woman walking with a purpose through the crowd with her son on her hip. It was none other than Gwen Stefani and Kingston with only one assistant nearby. She looked like a doll of herself with a ton of makeup on and her typical LAMB wear. I don't think she stopped for the woman from the Humane Society screaming at her to sign a petition.

· Saw Minnie Driver and friend getting a coffee at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. When they were in the checkout line, her friend commented on Josh Brolin's GQ cover. Minnie sounded very happy for her former fiance, noting, "This is all he's ever wanted, to get good roles and work with good directors."

· Sat 1/12 The Abbey Out with my fave faggle for brunch when we spotted former first kid Chelsea Clinton and a small entourage. Looked like she was with a geh or two, herself. She looked great! No stumping seen during her brief stop. She and her posse left in a giant pass van.

· Jan 14 - I just walked by Paula Abdul in front of a dance studio on Ventura in the SO. As I passed her, she literally started to cry and whine and looked all kinds of crazy. Best sighting ever.

· Sunday afternoon hiking Runyon Canyon, noticed a large, sweaty Chris Noth making his way downhill. Not a pretty sight. On my way out, I also passed Sarah Chalke from Scrubs (she's pretty, even without makeup) headed uphill.

· Saw Moon & Dweezil Zappa eating together - with their perspective kids and a few friends - at Canele in Atwater Village. Early Sunday night.

10) SCROLL_LOCK - So how about we go home and I strike the beard out of you? (Ed. - Might have placed higher earlier this week.)

9) STARINGATSCREEN - So how about we go home and I LaBeouf the Shia out of you? (Ed. - The Babelfish translation is surely NSFW.)

8) THESTARTERWIFE - So how about we go home and I Axium the bounced paycheck out of you? (Ed. - Timely!)

7) HEIDIHO - So how about we go home and I Zucker the Silverman out of you? (Ed. - Don't drink too much Boone's Farm at the Ben Silverman Winter Prom next week or this could happen to you!)

6) HEIDIHO - So how about we go home and I Mark the Seth out of you? (Ed. - Preying on our sense of vanity, how dare you! Keep it up...)

5) JUPITERSPAW - So how about we go home and I chase the Vinnie in and out of you? (Ed. - Bonus points for the "in and out" addition.)

4) TRIXIE FROM TORONTO - So how about we go home and I Charles Nelson the Reilly out of you? (Ed. - Any chance we can get to reset this scrumtrilescent Alec Baldwin impression, we'll take it.)

3) ABACUS FINCH - So how about we go home and I Finke the strike out of you? (Ed. - We would say more, but we're kind of afraid of Nikke Finke.)

2) MAGNOLIA - So how about we go home and I diving bell the butterfly out of you? (Ed. - We're pretty sure this is a real move. Even if it isn't, we're betting you're going to try it out this weekend.)

1) DOUBLEBANGER - So how about we go home and I audit the thetans out of you? (Ed. No comment necessary here. Well played.)

Adrian: So how about we go home and I [verb] the [noun] out of you?

Provide your answers in the comments, and hilarity shall ensue!

• Adrian Grenier Pickup Lines: A Play in One Act [Radar]

In today's episode: Laurence Fishburne; Mark Ruffalo; Marg Helgenberger and LeBron James; Victoria Beckham; Pierce Brosnan, Hayden Panettiere, and the Victoria's Secret Angels; Adrian Grenier; Eric Idle; Neil Patrick Harris, Laura Cerón, and Geoffrey Owens; Robert Zemeckis and Roger Avary; Ben Silverman; Morgan Spurlock; Mark Curry; Erin Daniels and Katherine Moennig.

· Saturday, November 17th at Bristol Farms built on the grave of the old Chasens; Laurence Fishburne in the sparkling water aisle. Tall and bit heavier than I remembered him, gave me a very nice looks that said "Yes, I am Morpheus, please don't bring it up".

· I saw Mark Ruffalo hiking in Fryman Canyon with his two cute kids. (Sunday November 18)

· last saturday night at the delicious but loud and obnoxious "cut" in b.h. — slim and trim marg helgenberger celebrating a birthday (while magically appearing to be ageless) and, at another table, the enormous and very casual lebron james...

· I was eating breakfast at The Farm (Grove location) on Sunday when Posh Beckham showed up with her kids and a nannie in tow. She spent the whole time on her cell or texting, while the nannie watched her noisy kids. I didn't actually see her eat anything, either.

· Waiting for my virgin america flight to sfo on the 16th and just saw hayden the dolphin saver walk by me with 2 of her friends to their nyc flight. Also walking by are the victoria secrets angels to board the nyc flight. Tsa was going crazy opening a dedicated line for them to pass through... Pierce Brosnan just walked by on his way to the virgin america flight with his personal assistant. There are lots of male police officers standing around the victorias gate.

· Adrian Grenier at the High Wires show (at the Tangier) on Sunday night. Going a little too far on the Medellin/Pablo front, but accompanied by a bevy of girls—way to live up to that Vinnie Chase rep, boo.

· My nerdy heart leapt at the sight of Eric Idle at the Arclight on Friday evening. He was a bit scrawnier than expected in person, and wearing tartan trousers and a jaunty cap, but in a low-key way.

·Saturday 11.17, Van Nuys: While playing some great mini golf for a friends birthday (happy bday, JJS), saw Neil Patrick Harris at Castle Park Mini-Golf with some friends. NPH (sans unicorn) is looking uberhot sporting some nice pecs. Go Doogie! Later, at Caoiti Pizza in Studio City, saw Cosby Show son in law Eldin (Geoffrey Owens) having an early dinner with his adorable kid.

Sunday 11.18, The Dive, ER Veteran Laura Cerón nurse Chuny, chatting with a friend. Sadly, The Dive (formerly Highland Grounds) is closing. no more breakfast pizza. -

· On our way in to the Arlington Theater (up in beautiful Santa Barbara) for the 4pm showing of Beowulf my fiance and I were treated to an unexpected sighting of Robert Zemeckis and a guy who I'm pretty sure was Roger Avary. As for fashion... Mr. Z. was wearing black glasses while offering those who cared his best version of "Hollywood incognito". Roger was rocking the hip T-shirt and expensive jeans frequently seen in numerous picket lines as of late. They all seemed happy... and content... and very, very rich. The movie, by the way, was freakin' AMAZING - and this director/writer combo-sighting put it right over the top!

· Ben Silverman running the 4th St. stairs in Santa Monica last Saturday morning (11/17). He was in better than average shape, clocking in at least 10 sets. Shouldn't he be in the office attempting to revive his network's dismal ratings?

· 11/18/07 At Borders' bookstore at Sunset and Vine, saw "Super Size Me" director Morgan Spurlock walking around by himself. I thought he was killing time to watch a movie at the Arclight, but found out later he was interviewed by "Geraldo" via satellite. Which makes sense since the CNN building is a block away.

· Thursday 11/14. Seen-better-days, hasn't-worked-a-lot-lately actor/comedian Mark Curry at the Burbank Airport, in his expensive black Mercedes, honking like 35 times in eight seconds at the car in front of him to let him in to the curbside lane. Really? It's like 6:15 AM, dude. None of us have had our coffee yet. Two honks wouldn't have done it? Three? 34? Inside, seen-better-days, hasn't-worked-a-lot-lately actor/comedian Mark Curry had an iPhone, a Louis Vuitton bag, and a "don't look at me" baseball cap pulled down over his eyes. (Insert your own "Hangin' with Mr. Cooper" reference.)

· On Saturday the 17th I was putting back a James Perse shirt at Bloomingdale's in Sherman Oaks when I noticed a woman with a hat pulled down over her face. Then I looked three feet in front of me at the pretty blonde woman on the other side of the shirts, and it was Dana from the L Word (Erin Daniels). The woman with the hat was shopping with her, and was the ACTUAL Shane from the L Word, Kate Moennig. "Shane" and "Dana" in James Perse is my favorite sighting at this Bloomie's since Loni Anderson in denim, although I understand the President of Armenia was in the store on Saturday, too.

In today's jam-packed episode: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Steven Spielberg, Heather Locklear, Kobe Bryant, and Andy Garcia; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Meg Ryan, Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Dennis Hopper and Adrian Grenier; Melanie Griffith; Emmanuelle Chriqui; Seal and Heidi Klum; Janeane Garofalo; Sean "Puffy" Combs, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Rapaport, and Tom Arnold; Cheryl Tiegs; Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, and Rivers Cuomo; Dominic Monaghan; Rufus Sewell and Mary-Kate Olsen; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, and Josh Kelley; John Waters; Eddie Izzard; Adam Scott; Jamie Gertz; Peter Bogdanovich; Fisher Stevens; Peter Guber; Brian Posehn; and Gloria Allred.

· Nov. 12 - Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford having lunch with mom at Panini Cafe in Newport Beach near the John Wayne airport. Ultra-casual dress and Calista has a severe case of bed head. Perhaps just got off of a flight?

· ridiculous week...

wednesday, 11/7, saw steven spielberg, heather locklear, kobe bryant, and andy garcia at the hannah montana concert (staples center) - yeah, they were all with their kids. later that night pretty sure i saw nora zehetner at the architecture in helsinki show at the troubador!

tuesday, 11/8, ran into jennie garth and peter facinelli at the 'kraft-a-palooza' (!!!) cheetah girls show at the house of blues.

· 11/10 Saturday at the Swell Season show at the Wiltern: A special section was roped off just for the celebs... looked more like a velvet rope cage in the middle of the floor that all the plebes had to walk around to get out, giving maximum exposure to matthew perry chatting up kevin pollak while meg ryan and her duck lips stared off into oblivion. we all commented that we wished she was still the "you've got mail" version of herself. rumor has it jenna fisher was also there but i didn't see her. weird crowd, amazing show.

· Nov 6 - 2 Studly Bohunks Swanking It Up at the AFI Fest at the Arclight....and that would be Dennis Hopper, pacing about like a jolly mad professor, and Adrian Grenier, tall as the dickens, just every bit as charming as you'd imagine ole Vinnie Chase to be. Both mirthful, both indicative of Greater Star Wattage to Come; but guess what? It never came.

· So I went to Cabo for a wedding this past weekend. On the flight down, Melanie Griffith was seated in first class acting and being treated as if she's turned in a great performance since Working Girl (1988 kids!) She looks like she's been dragged behind a horse one too many times.

In marked contrast was Emmanuelle Chriqui on the return flight. She stood in line like a normal person, smiled and chatted with fellow passengers, waited for her own bags and generally gave off a "really sweet person" vibe. I half expected her to jump on the Lot C bus to get her car!

· 11/4 - This one's a bit late. Seal and Heidi Klum stopping by my Starbucks in Beverly Hills most Sundays is old news, but this time they brought their two older kids. Cutest. Family. Ever. The little girl was very sociable saying hi to people, and the boy had to touch everything — he even tried to take off with an old man's dog. Cutest. Family. Ever.

· 11/9 - After catching a show at UCB Friday night, I caught Janeane Garofalo (who practically stole the show with her recounting of sex with a sweet but slow-witted fireman) exiting with Matthew 'Yeah, It's Retired Must See TV Me, Please Look Away' Perry and an unidentified yet somewhat cute nerd in tow.

· Odd batch of celebrity sightings for this East Coaster...

Monday, Nov. 5 - Cheryl Tiegs at Urth Cafe on Melrose
Tuesday, Nov. 6 - At Wolfgang Puck's CUT at the Reg Bev Wil - Dennis Haysbert, Sean "Puffy" Combs (and entourage of 20 or so sloppily dressed hangers-on), Michael Rapaport, Dog, the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, and Tom Arnold in jeans, a green shirt and cap.

Good times indeed!

· Sat Nov 10 - While sitting during the intermission at the Joanna Newsom concert, stewing in my own pseudo-hippy heaven, I got up to allow some people into my row. They were SNL's Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph. He is an attractive hobbit; disappointed because he looks so tall on TV. She was beautiful and had a really cute sweater on and a few minutes later another guy joined them and my friend wondered when the Rivers Cuomo look was going to fade...but I think it might have actually been Rivers Cuomo.
It was an amazing show, by the way.

· Saturday 10 November, around 5ish - Dominic Monaghan at Amoeba, dressed like an adorable little Unabomer.

· While sitting in the nose bleed section last night at the Spoon/Feist concert (Nov. 12) in the Universal Gibson Theater, caught Rufus Sewell ambling his way up and down the aisle. Then some random guy, thanks again Adam, gave my friend and I two orchestra tickets he couldn't sell because we looked cool. We moved to the awesome new seats, close enough to see Feist's catbag! The only snag of the night was having to tell Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (honestly, I don't know which one, I guess the really blonde one) to put out her cigarette. She complied for about 20 minutes then asked for permission to light another one. I relented only because I knew that the couples in front of me would object, which they did, vehemently. Despite being a smurf, she was, much to my surprise, normal body size (or maybe I've been in LA too long), though I suspect that illusion was created by boho chic layers.

· saw Katherine Heigl dining with an older woman (her mother?) at Figaro in Los Feliz Friday night (11/9). I would have yelled, "Hey, Katherine Hi-jel! It's i before e except after c," but I didn't want to cause a ruckus at my favorite restaurant. Another tip for Katherine: If you would prefer that civilians not notice you, don't eat outside facing the street on the busiest block in the neighborhood looking so gorgeous that you GLOW.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Josh Kelley, and some fourth guy (whom I didn't recognize) at 7:30 am at the Rose Bowl swap meet. Heigl was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball cap, and glasses (not sunglasses). She looked really skinny. The men looked pretty normal. Heigl was looking at some awful threadbare reddish sofa, but I walked off too soon to see if she bought it.

· Director John Waters yesterday (11/8/7) shortly after noon at the baggage carousel for AA #1 in from New York. He was reportedly talking non-stop on cell from the time the plane landed. He was wearing low-top sneakers, rather faded red pants and a plaid shirt. His chauffeur stood by as he paced back and forth looking for his luggage. Coincidence? The in-flight movie was "Hair Spray."

· 11-7—-
Last night after crossing the picket lines here at Disney after getting my pink slip, I went to the Rock-n-Roll Ralphs on Sunset and Eddie Izzard walked in, very serious and in his THE RICHES swag sweat shirt that he was spotted on the picket line wearing. He's so hot yet short in person. Love the man!!!

· Nov 10 Just saw Adam Scott from TELL ME YOU LOVE ME at the Apple Store at the Grove. He was pushing a stroller and had a huge grin on his face, so it's nice to know he doesn't share Palek's views on parenting. He's really adorable but I couldn't look at him without thinking "stunt ejaculation" and laughing, so I quickly turned the other way.

· Nov 12 - Saw Jamie Gertz at Sherman Oaks Castle hosting a kids birthday. I did not realize she is turning into Teri Hatcher! Overheard Jamie say, "I worked out this morning, so I can have something" as she eyed a pizza.

· AFI Fest, Arclight, Friday night, November 2. Was exiting the ladies room when I noticed a somewhat fish-faced, bespectacled older gentleman pass me in the hallway. I frantically wracked my brain, thinking "I know who that is..." when the ascot hit me! Peter Bogdanovich! Looking somewhat like an older, saggier version of Huckleberry Hound. He walked into the Q&A of our movie, "Margot at the Wedding" and took a seat. Why, I'm not sure.

· Nov 8 - bizarre one — fisher stevens hanging out by the brentwood country mart, having clearly just got out of yoga, sweating and swinging his mat around in a heated conversation.

· Thursday night (11/8) at La Scala, spotted telegenic mogul Peter Guber having dinner with a similarly-aged gentleman I couldn't identify (since his back was to me). Guber looked pretty relaxed, probably because that remake of The Birds he's producing doesn't require an actual script.

· The food-court at the century City mall was taken over by WGA Strikers today (Nov 9). Through the mayhem I had a sighting of Sarah Silverman's dungeons and dragons, heavy metal loving, gay neighbor from the "The Sarah Silverman Program", Brian Posehn. He was chowing down on a fuddrucker's burger (I'm guessing Jay Leno did not stop by with some snacks...) and chatting with some Writer Strikers. He was decked out in a red comic book t-shirt showing he is obviously down with the cause. I hope this strike ends soon so I don't have to wait in the Panda Express line for a 1/2 hour on my lunch break.

· spotted Gloria Allred in Von's Market, Sunset Blvd. and PCH last Saturday night 11/2. It was about 10:30 PM and even though she was the only customer in the store besides myself, she was wearing huge dark sunglasses as if trying not to be noticed. Every time I see her on television she seems to be looking for attention. She was grabbing herself a roasted chicken. YAWN!

The jury appears to be out on Adrian Grenier's basket, however, as the elephantine mound on display suggests the star of Aquaman and Medellin either stuffed himself with one of Drama's gym socks, or opted to tie his firehose into a sailing knot before leaving the house for his All Hallow's Eve revelries.

• Happy Halloween. Now Let's Talk Penises. [Pretty on the Outside]

In today's episode: Lindsay Lohan; Brian Grazer; Dave Navarro; David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff; Adrian Grenier; Hayden Panettiere; Masi Oka; Kristen Bell and David May; Tara Reid; Danny Bonaduce; Callum Blue; Kathy and Rick Hilton; Dylan Bruno; Mary from Age of Love.

· Lindsay Lohan was at the Chateau Friday night, sitting at a large table outside (right next to our table) around 10:30; appeared to be celebrating her birthday (it was clearly a party). She looked good, but quite a bit fuller in the figure.

· A Malibu two-fer this past saturday, (June 30th):

First up was Brian Grazer and his super-produced hair at Taverna Tony's, around 7:30. I've seen plenty written about his diminutive stature, but nothing about the guy's super buffness. Seriously. He could totally kick your ass, and he wouldn't need to impale you on his spikey hair to do it.

· Not long after that, loading some equipment into a beamer on the PCH just south of the Malibu Main Drag—the gilded shirtless one himself: Dave Navarro. Even at 30 MPH, that chin beard looks retarded.

· Sunday, July 1: David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff brushed past me at Urth Caffe on Main Street. Strangely, I didn't detect any odor of alcohol...or hamburger.

· Saturday, July 30, spotted Adrian Grenier eating breakfast at EatWell in Sunset Junciton. I always feel guilty reporting celebs eating breakfast; seems they should have some privacy with their morning coffee. Oh well...I can live with this guilt.

· On Saturday, 6/23, I was trying on lingerie at Mission Viejo Mall Victoria's Secret. Hayden Panettiere was standing in front of me, waiting to try on padded bras. She talked non-stop on her cell phone. At one point, I overheard her saying that she had bought a gift for Dustin Hoffman. "Do you know who that is?" she asked her friend. She was casually dressed, but looked beautiful. Louis Vuitton handbag, lots of gold and diamond jewelry, and French manicure/pedicure. This is the same Victoria's Secret where Britney Spears attempted to give a soiled diaper to the lady behind the cash register about a year ago.

· I am delighted to finally be able to contribute something from South Orange County, where celebrity sightings are a bit rare.

· 6/30 - Masi Oka at the Hollywood Bowl for the "Sound of Music" sing-along wearing a baseball hat and trying to keep a low profile. I strongly resisted the urge to go up to him and yell "YATTA." it just goes to show that everyone, even Japanese office workers-turned-superheroes, loves Julie Andrews

· Two sightings of widely varying quality during a Monday evening visit to simulated social environment The Grove to catch Transformers: Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell, and, in my screening, On the Lot contestant David May (remember the cupid movie? That was his!!) checking out what his unlikely new boss Steven Spielberg is up to.

· thursday 6/28 at Bay Cities deli in Santa Monica, i saw Tara Reid ( at 11: 30 in the a.m.) dressed down in grey sweatshirt and red toenail polish buying a bunch of sandwiches. no drama no nipple no nothing. just a polite thank you to the cashier before climbing into her porsche convertible and driving away.

· Friday. Hollywood Blvd. Heading East @ 4:15pm

Danny Bonaduce pulls his hog right up to my car. The man is an absolute powerhouse. A hulking monster. Poised and focused on the road. I roll down my window and make nice. Danny was friendly and conversational right in the middle of traffic. All in all, Danny Bonaduche: King of the Road

· Last night, Thursday 6/28 I saw the British guy from "Dead Like Me" (Callum Blue according to IMDB who is also now on the "Tudors") on the elevator on the way to the roof of the Standard Downtown. He was with a friend (who I will name "Obnoxious friend") that was taking pictures of him in while in the elevator and then making fun of how bad the photos came out. Of one she said in her obnoxious voice "Hello I'm British and my nose is growing." It was pretty odd.

· 6/29 I can't really say that this sighting fits, however, considering the news lately...I was lunching at Chateau Marmont with an East Coast colleague, when a woman walked by who caught our notice, not for her great beauty but for her outfit, an ugly, mini Pucci number, with GACK, matching Pucci patterned pumps. She was 40ish, a bit too spray tanned, and clearly had only the best aesthetician, dermatologist and plastic surgeon. She looked familiar to me, but we were completely convinced that she was a moderate to higher priced call girl, who had aged out of the biz. We then noticed her companian, an age appropriate, well-perserved prepster, and assumed he was the lucky fellow who had perhaps married her for love, after paying for her services ever since he was a student at St. Pauls. We walked out around the same time and it appeared that she led him by the nose, which is appropriate considering how we believed they met. It wasn't until I had walked the four blocks to my car, that the light bulb went off. It was Kathy and Rick Hilton. In that moment, I understood the daughter completely - the turd does not fall far from the behind.

· Saw Num3ers "star" Dylan Bruno at a Ralph's grocery store in west LA the other day. They were getting fruit for a fruit salad - sounds yummy!

· On Saturday (6/30), spotted 'Age of Love' kitten Mary No Last Name Given at the Starbucks in the WeHo Target complex. While I realize that she is not a celebrity by even the loosest definition of the term, I feel that I deserve credit for recognizing her after just two episodes of the show. Also, I am not her publicist, I just have no life and amazing reality TV personality recall. Just thought I should disclaim that. No cougars were spotted in the immediate vicinity.