6. Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried's Kiss Isn't That Exploitative

By the time I saw a screening of Jennifer's Body last week, the "lesbian kiss" clip was already partially online, and seemed just as eye-rollingly marketing department-mandated as one would expect. But it actually fits nicely into the plot — in the full scene, Needy (Amanda Seyfried) is suspicious of Jennifer (Megan Fox), and Jennifer is trying to win her back the only way she knows how — with her overpowering sexuality. Besides, it's played for laughs when Needy suddenly realizes they're kissing and pushes Jennifer away and is all like "Wait, what?" about it.

5. The Diablo Cody-isms Aren't As Distracting As They Were In Juno

Jennifer's Body probably could have done without "Moveon, Dot Org!", but generally, the weird Diablo Cody alien teenspeak is limited to one character — Jennifer — which makes it seem like it's her tic, not the entire movie's. And when I'm watching a horror movie, I like knowing there's always another pop culture allusion just around the corner. This movie isn't trying to be Citizen Kane. I might even start calling my best friends Monistat and Vagisil...well...or not. But teenagers do tend to have their own language, and if it was okay in Heathers, it's okay here.

4. Adam Brody's Dead-On Brandon Flowers Impression

Adam plays the eyelinered lead singer of the indie band Low Shoulder, whose single "Through The Trees" goes platinum after it becomes the official song of the Devil's Kettle Tragedy. Though Adam claims in interviews that he based his character on several famous lead singers, come on, it's Brandon Flowers from The Killers all the way. He even grows a Flowers-esque mustache after he gets famous. It adds another layer to think of his ruthless evil famewhore character being based on Flowers the goodie two-shoes Mormon.

3. J.K. Simmons As the Wig-Wearing Science Teacher With A Hook For A Hand

Because J.K. Simmons is always funny, and because the hook is never explained or even mentioned.

2. Megan Fox....Can...Actually...Like...Act?

Bad news for Megan Fox's legions of haters: she may have dumb tattoos, say silly things in interviews, and possess exactly one mouth-agape red-carpet facial expression, but in this movie at least, Megan Fox's ability to play the full range of her ditzy-yet-utterly-enthralling high school alpha-female character is undeniable. (Amanda Seyfriend is also terrific, but we already knew that.) You just can't stop watching Megan, and after this mesmerizing performance, her sudden massive fame seems a little bit more understandable. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone. It's just true. Bitch can act, and we need to accept it and move on (dot org).

1. It's An Empowerment Movie For Former Wallflower Sidekicks Everywhere

Most of us have, at some point in our lives, found ourselves playing sidekick to an underminer-y, narcissistic, "best friend." (This is based on anecdotal, not scientific, research, but it's totally true.) We tend to grow out of it by our late '20s unless we're characters on Sex and the City, but if the low-self-in-relation-to-Miss-Superstar-esteem memories still linger, Jennifer's Body is THE movie to see to permanently exorcise your inner nerdy sidekick forever. It's a horror movie about toxic friendships! Why didn't anyone think of that before? The last two scenes of Jennifer's Body will make any former wallflower feel like a badass, giving us more than we ever expected from a cheap horror movie: an hour and a half of therapy. See it with a friend you (actually, really) love!

After much rumoring, Tom Cruise has confirmed that he'll star opposite Cam'ron D in the action-comedy Wichita. Hopefully it'll be as successful an endeavor as the pair's previous action-comedy, Vanilla Sky. [Variety]

As Bravo continues to take over America, one city at a time, they've turned their glowing, bloodthirsty eyes on southern Florida. This summer they'll air six episodes of a show called Miami Social, about the fast-paced semi-youngs of Little Cuba. As it's a social, we expect at least one episode devoted to a box luncheon. And lots of ice cream. [Variety]

Two sassy, sarcastic fellows are joining Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in a buddy action-comedy movie about stolen baseball cards that's basically one long dick joke. Adam Brody and Sean William Scott have just signed onto the cast of Kevin Smith's A Couple of Dicks. Brody will play an exasperated (sarcastically!) detective, while Scott will play... um, the "Shit Bandit," who poops wherever he burgles. Terrific. Ya still got it, Smithy! [THR]

Proving that he has not, in fact, been lost in the Andes or lying under a pile of old newspapers, calling out for help in vain, Freddie Prinze Jr. has joined the cast of 24. Next season he'll play a returning Marine who wants to follow in old Jackie B's footsteps. So good for him. And good for Sarah Michelle, who can now take a break from bringing home all that bacon. It gets heavy after a while, huh? [THR]

Oh, fun. John Lithgow, star of stage and screen, will go at it with Michael C. Hall (not in the sexy way) on Dexter next season. He'll play a suburban dude with a secret. He's cheating on his wife! Oh, wait, no that would be sorta forgivable. He's a terrible serial killer, actually. [Variety]

Lions Gate doesn't want to run TV Guide all by itself anymore, so they sold 49% of the property to One Equity Partners, for $123 million. And TV Guide is worth every penny, lemme tell ya. [THR]

Eesh, poor Reiko Aylesworth. Floating around for years, never getting the big bite, then her pilot The Forgotten gets picked up and... she's dropped during retooling. Also out is the show's lead, Rupert Penry-Jones. Everyone else seems OK. Phew... [THR]

In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!

SUNDAY, APRIL 20
· Saw Jay Leno getting out of his ride at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach before his weekly appearance there every Sunday evening. Practically side-swiped the driver next to me while gawking at Jay's car. Didn't get the make and model but I can confirm that it looked very silver, very fast and very expensive.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25
· Spotted Marlee Matlin and her Dancing With the Stars partner (?) at the valet at Forever 21. Can't figure why they were there together as I heard they were voted off the show earlier in the week. Don't ask how I know that. Anyway, she is tiny and he..... not so tall. She drove them away in a huge gas quaffing SUV.
· Yesterday saw John Ennis (Mr. Show and Walk Hard) at the Nature Mart in Los Feliz.
· Saw Perry from Make Me A Supermodel at Vons at Sunset/Virgil @ 7pm. Tall, thin, wearing a wifebeater and looking FINE. With some dressed down chick, not sure if it was his gf. She manned the cart of course, Perry was too busy struttin'.
· I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter (and wife) 4am Friday at LAX. Dog was wearing an American Flag windbreaker.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26
· I had dinner at El Compadre tonight, where I waited for our table next to Ms. Jay from ANTM. Then, I went with some friends to the Sly & the Family Stone concert at the House of Blues. We found a good spot near the stage, and I turned around to see Daryl Hannah. She was with a younger couple, and really beautiful - laid back - in person. She was sporting a Marvin Gaye T-shirt and a belt made out of the pop-tops from soda cans...
· First, on Continental #65 from Newark to LAX on Saturday, Cheryl Hines was in first class. Very hot and very tiny in person, also very polite and low-key. She even walked to the parking garage with the car service driver from baggage claim.
· Was hanging out at my favorite Saturday night spot, Britannia Pub in Santa Monica, for karaoke (technically, Starraoke™) when we got word that none other than our childhood hero, Davy Jones, was at a table in the back. (Attention youngsters, I'm talking about the singer from The Monkees, not the character from Pirates of the Caribbean.) A quick trip to the ladies' room confirmed it, so one of my friends signed up for "Daydream Believer" in his honor. No more than a bar of music went by when Davy came bounding up from the back room, grabbed my friend and the mike and proceeded to perform the whole song with her, with the whole bar singing along (when they weren't snapping pics with their cameraphones). Mark it down as one of my favorite LA moments so far.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27
· Then, Sunday afternoon at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, bumped into Casey Affleck quickly making his way out of the crowd of hipsters. A couple hours later, saw Jonathan Togo (CSI Miami) at the WeHo Whole Foods, also moving through the store very quickly.
· While attending the Indian Film festival at the Arclight, I sat about three seats away from Nancy Kwan, who only looked about ten years older then she did in The World of Suzy Wong. On the way home I saw Robert Culp (I Spy) buying bananas. He's ambulatory and buying produce on his own at 10pm on a Sunday, which is pretty good for pushing 80.

MONDAY, APRIL 28
· Last night after the She & Him show (awesome!) at the Vista — Adam Brody having Amstel Lights at the Good Luck Bar, with a mystery blond that kinda looked like Arielle Kebbel, but I don't think it was her and shouldn't start rumors... or did I just do that?

TUESDAY, APRIL 29
· I spotted Chris O'Donnell by a Delta baggagae carousel at LAX. Navy blazer/jeans. Very preppy. Flew in from Atlanta. Such potential that one...
· Today was the highlight of my week, no make that my month. Saw Kiefer on Ventura Blvd/Balboa coming out of CHILI MY SOUL. He was clearly in great mood. He posed for pics with a couple of heavy set gals...one even got him to say damm it in to her cell phone. The Kiefer looked awesome, very skinny! Tennis shoes, jeans and blue t-shirt. He left with a pretty brunette who was dressed in of all things blue scrubs. DAMM IT my cell was in the car!
· I went to the Fox Hills Mall in Culver City yesterday for lunch and was blocked from using the newly reopened escalator by JC Penny by a PA with a serious God complex. The escalator was only for actors who were shooting on location. Well, it turns out the actors were Steve Agee (from The Sarah Silverman Program) and Adam Carolla. Carolla was sporting a huge fake Amish beard, Agee looked exactly the same as he does on Sarah Silverman.

THURSDAY, MAY 1
· Was having dinner at Mi Piace in Pasadena on Thursday evening when the crowd parted and I beheld Jerry Springer. How's that for a weird one? He sat with his back to the window on Colorado and ate alone quite peacefully. No chairs were thrown.

FRIDAY, MAY 2
· Near-fatal Goldie Hawn sighting. Driving up to my cousin's place in Pacific Palisades, saw a large group of seeming-hippies communing in the middle of the street. One of them appeared to be holding a baby up in the air, sort of bizarrely baptismal. Get closer, baby-holder is Goldie, hot son Oliver Hudson is next to her, and I think the baby in question is Oliver's. As I drive by, Goldie gives me a big smile and waves hello.

SATURDAY, MAY 3
· Saturday night I saw Romany Malco (Weeds / Baby Mama) with a cute lady friend playing cards at Stir Crazy coffee shop on Melrose.
· In front of Larchmont Wine & Cheese, I spotted a squat Scott Caan — first spotted because he was wearing that hat — was sitting with his dog and a group of dudes that looked as you would expect a bunch of dudes eating with Scott Caan to look. as it goes with these kinds of things, he was shorter than expected.


Later on in the afternoon, was driving down melrose when I see a family crossing the street, complete with an olderish blonde with oversized breasts. My first thought was, "her husband must be a real d-bag." I scan the rest of the family until I see Dee Snider. I immediately feel bad for assuming he would be a d-bag [Ed. Note - Why? I think you hit the nail on the head.] and continue driving, hoping he hadn't heard my inner monologue.

· While trying to see Iron Man at Century City, I see Titan from American Gladiators, who stands about 7 feet tall (plastic coif included) and 3 feet wide.
· During another interminable wait for food at the Griddle Cafe, i see Jim Parsons from the CBS show Big Bang Theory. He had to wait for a table, just like the rest of us civilians, unlike...
Jessica Alba, who walks right in and sits at a booth. Didn't see her body but her face definitely looks fuller. Still looked good. Cash Warren walked in a little later and was appropriately unassuming.

SUNDAY, MAY 4
· Dorito Girl Ali Landry at the Alcove on Hillhurst for a late lunch. With her cute Mexican director husband and adorable baby girl. She's amazingly gorgeous in person, throwing Doritos into washers or whatever it was she did in those commercials did not do her justice.
· Traci Lords at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market this morning, with a friend and adorable baby. Looked very happy and healthy. I had to suppress the urge to say hello and tell her how awesome I think she is.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7
· Walked by Adam Goldberg on Little Santa Monica on Wednesday around lunch time. He was by himself waiting to cross the street. I always thought he was maybe cute but didn't get confirmation until I was standing
right next to him. He was looking cuddle worthy in a black hoody, dark jeans and cool espadrille type Vans.
· I saw Clea Duvall and Zach Quinto at Brently Heilbron's show at Tangier tonight.

THURSDAY, MAY 8
· Spotted a couple celebs in Beverly Hills on Thursday afternoon. Kathy Hilton and not surprisingly
very happy looking Stan Lee were strolling past Jack 'n Jill's. Don't worry, they were not together.

In today's episode: Brad Pitt; Steve Carell; Will Ferrell and Jason Statham; Adrian Grenier and Tracy Ullman; Adam Brody; Alfred Molina, Patricia Heaton and Tony Shaloub; Pam Anderson; Kevin Connolly; Rachel Griffiths; Rob Morrow, Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey; Olivia Newton-John; Judy Greer and Sara Gilbert; Alyssa Milano and Whitney Port; Brett Butler; Danny Bonaduce and Bai Ling.

· walking up Orange 9:30 pm or so Mon nite, coming back from a stellar In N' Out trip - Brad Pitt catching a smoke on the side alcove of the Roosevelt. no wives, adoptees, handlers or anyone for that matter, just him and a cig. totally zoned out.

in like tan on tan t-shirt & slacks, comically chemically blonde hair stood out.

about as non-eventful as a Pitt sighting could come, actually.

· I saw Steve Carell at the Sherman Oaks Galleria on Good Friday at 2pm by himself. He was checking out his Evan Almighty poster for at least 3 minutes. Then he showed up in Blades of Glory and quickly left right after Jenna Fishcer's lingerie scene.

· Thursday April 12, around 9:30 A.M., picking up some expensive, weak, styrofoam-cupped espresso drinks at the Beverly Hills Hotel coffee shop and saw Will Ferrell leaving. He was wearing sunglasses indoors, which I didn't think any celebrities actually did and certainly wouldn't have expected him to do. But there you go. He tapped on the window as he was walking back up the stairs, perhaps to remind the cashier that charging him for breakfast would result in forfeiture of a walk-on role in 2008's "Untitled Gay- and/or Redneck-Baiting Sports Project." A few hours later, while having lunch at Urth, spotted Jason Statham carrying a take-out bag. Shorter than I thought, but aren't they always.

· Seen backstage at KCRW's Sounds Eclectic concert on Saturday, April 17: Adrian Grenier, looking cute and unassuming in jeans and a zip-up jacket, with his entourage...he tried out some of the instruments on display. Also, Tracy Ullman (looking chic and hot) with a much younger man (her son?) and Will Ferrell (Fro Patrol!) with the wife-unit. Folks were in good spirits then, but not so much today after the station axed some long-timers...

· Leaving the 2:45 Cineramadome showing of Disturbia Sunday (can someone please explain to me who [SPOILER ALERT] drove off in the green bug?? That movie had more holes than a golf course) spotted Adam Brody in shades getting something from the coffee cart by the gift shop, alone. The very day that big article and photo of him in the LA Times ran! Second time I've seen him there. He loves movies! (As the profile confirmed.)

· Monday April 9 2007 - I was eating dinner at Morel's at The Grove when I saw Alfred Molina (Doc Ock from Spiderman 2) go upstairs with his wife Jill Gascoine (imdb). He is very very tall but friendly looking, and his wife smiled at me. Very classy looking lady who I later learned (imdb again) was a very famous TV star in U.K.. Also saw Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond (tiny, cute, seemed nice) with her husband?, and also Tony Shaloub from Monk. There were other "faces" there but I had a couple of drinks so I couldn't put face-to-name as they say.

· This morning (4/13) I was part of the BMW cattle parade down Barham Pass into Burbank. I look to my left and I see Pam Anderson in a black BMW convertible with its hood down driving right next to me. She was dressed in a terricloth robe thing, giant sunglasses, and her hair looked like a crack-whore tranny hairhat. Never has there been more of a need for tinted windows. She had no makeup and her hands looked like they should do a cameo in the next "Mummy" movie. Obviously she was doing the "drive of shame" to her gig after an all-nighter with Tommy Lee's manfruit-by-the-foot. Gross.

· 4/15- Saw Kevin Connolly (Eric on "Entourage") eating brunch by himself at The Nosh in Beverly Hills. So short he could barely see over the counter...

· Yesterday, Monday April 16, was having a late lunch with a friend at Barney's Greengrass talking about how much we love "Brothers & Sisters" when said friend literally stopped mid-bite and said "Oh my god, it's Rachel." And I'm thinking "Rachel who??" I turned around expecting to see Jennifer Aniston. But actually, it was Rachel Griffiths (aka Sarah, aka crazy-ass-Brenda). She looked great. No make-up, super casual tunic top and worn-out jeans, flats. She was with an older man, presumably her hubby? Darn, I was hoping she was having an illicit incestuous tryst with her brother, Billy. I'm still mourning the passing of Six Feet Under...

· Saturday, 4/13. Spotted Rob Morrow of Numbers fame risking life and limb once again in the frozen tundra. This time, he put his innocent little daughter in harms way. Okay, so they weren't taking some back trail while skiing but rather arriving for a skating lesson at the Culver Ice Arena. Moments later, however, Clark Gregg appeared, perhaps answering a distress call from Mr. Morrow. Are all C-listers connected if some sort of incident should befall them? Anyway, when Clark Gregg is near, Jennifer Grey must soon follow. My first instinct was to look in the corners of the ice arena but alas she stood in plain sight...new nose and all. I guess she heeded Johnny's advice after all.

· While waiting for a friend to pick me up (on the upper level - even though everyone knows arrivals are on the lower level!- durr!) at the Tom Bradley terminal at LAX last night (4/12). A casually dressed and glowingly beautiful Olivia Newton-John jumped out of a black town car. Multiple suitcases, none of that pretentious LV luggage, mainly sport bags and regular cases. I grew up listening to her 'Totally Hot' album, so I had to say something. I was completely gushing. The woman is an angel (not once did I get a "please shut up I have a flight to catch" look) She is so warm, kind and absolutely beautiful in person. Said she was going to do a tour in Asia. So with that I wished her safe travels. I jumped in my friend's '92 Corolla, she went off to the First class check-in.

· Thursday, 4/12: Spotted Judy Greer lunching at Real Food Daily on La Cienega, loving her vegan fare. She was adorable (sans makeup) and thin, sitting with another gal. Also spotted Sara Gilbert at the counter—she was alone until another actress, who I think used to be a model, but whose name I don't know, popped up to ask some questions from the counter guy. They had a nice, "Hey, haven't seen you in forever!" moment. Sara is a tiny person. I can't even think of what the other girl has been in, so she shall remain a nameless person with a recognizable face.

· The Hills' "Whitney" (Whitney Port, thanks IMDB), sitting in the front row of the dugout club seats at the Dodgers v. Padres game on the 15th (Jackie Robinson day). She was with three generic LA guys outfitted in various combinations of the ubiquitous hat/hoodie ensemble. Whitney herself was in a parka (it was cold) and low-rise jeans that looked like boy jeans. She looked cute but super skinny - she's lost some serious "I've-been-on-TV-so-must-become-and-stay-rail-thin" weight. She was also not wearing panties; her ass crack was seen by all in my party one time when she went to get food. She actually ate quite a lot. Tapeworm? Anyway the cool thing, besides the ass crack, was that her and her mantourage arrived early for all the Jackie Robinson festivities and stayed until the end of the game. Not LA at all. Very nice.

· Also sighted at the game: Alyssa Milano, who apparently operates a very well-written Dodgers blog that only makes me love her more. Several Hall of Fame ballplayers. Frank McCourt miffing a foul ball and good-naturedly laughing at himself and taking his boo's like a man. I guess that's really only one celebrity. Whitney, I was informed, is not a celebrity.

· I was buying beer at Rite Aid on Ventura on Saturday night (4/14) when I started to get annoyed that this woman was monopolizing the only open check out line by chatting with the guy working the register. They finally opened another register, and I realized that the person responsible for hindering the line was Brett Butler

· Sunday, 4/15 - I ambled out of Home Depot just before it closed tonight and found Danny Bonaduce outside in all his glory. Tight t-shirt, tight jeans, huge cross pendant (seriously—it was at least three inches long & really thick) and a big belt buckle. He's freakily well-sculpted, but can't be taller than 5'9" at the most. He was on his phone, pacing around—I'm not sure if he was just leaving or just arriving, but he had about four minutes to go until the place closed. The best part may have been the glee with which the security guard told the check out clerk that "the guy from The Partridge Family" was outside—methinks Home Depot doesn't get many celebrities, and certainly not at closing on a Sunday night.

· Swingers on Beverly, 2:30a.m. Sunday. I'd just come from Bar Sinister, and was eating some french toast at the counter while trying to hide my skimpy outfit under my coat. Then Bai Ling sat down next to me and I relaxed, because really, who can out-skimpy Bai Ling? The place was packed, so service was a little slow. Ms. Ling kept pointing at her menu and asking passing busboys, "Can we order now? Can we order?"