Movie stars steal theater folks' roles again! Though Cynthia Nixon and John Slattery played the roles in the well-reviewed Broadway production, square-jawed Aaron Eckhart and bugle-lipped Nicole Kidman will be starring in the film adaptation of David Lindsay-Abaire's play about a dead kid, Rabbit Hole. Oddly, John Cameron Mitchell, of Hedwig fame, will helm. The theateriest movie news ever! [Variety] And speaking of Sex and the City people, Warner Bros. and New Line have finally set a date for the big SATC movie sequel. Set your lipgloss to stun and mark your pink martini calendars, because on May 28, 2010... your sequined dreams will be realized once more. The story of grief and loss and life changes as the three gals make the tough decision to put Samantha in a home is sure to be a crowd pleaser. [Variety]

That twee-looking little indie movie about hipsters and babies and stuff, Gigantic, starring Zooey Bechamel, Paul Dano, and John Goodman, has won the top prize at the AFI Dallas International Film Festival. So, it must be good! [Variety] Meanwhile, in bizarro land, Julian Schnabel and Patton Oswalt have won awards at the same festival. [Variety]

Showtime has picked up two new series. They'll likely run with the comedy Ronna & Beverly, about two middle aged Jewish ladies in Boston (!!), and the Tim Robbins-produced drama Possible Side Effects, starring Josh Lucas. Sadly for someone probably, they've passed on the Matthew Perry series End of Steve. [Variety] More cable bad news: the season two finale of FX series Damages was down 32% from last year in the ol' ratings department. Though, a third season has already been ordered, so no worries. [THR]

The terrific Rosemarie DeWitt is joining the cast of John Wells' Company Man, alongside Chris Cooper, Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, and Ben Affleck. They're filming in Boston, so I'm gonna have to run home and gawp at them like a regular weirdo or something. [THR] Amaury Nolasco, from Prison Break, has been cast in the Hunter S. Thompson adaptation The Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp. It's filming in Puerto Rico, so if you're there, go and gawp like a standard strange-o. [THR]

One of the many perks of living in countries like Slovakia, Romania, and the Czech Republic? You get to watch the precious premium cabler the MGM Channel. Well now those of you in jealous Slovenia can relax. They've finally brought the network to you too. So good. All is well in Central and Eastern Europe. [Variety]

After the jump: Which on-the-cusp-of-It-boy-status actor is partaking of It Boy ritual, "one for them, one for me?"

· Twilight star Cam Gigandet and Jena Malone will star in indie drama Five Star Day, which THR celebrates by locating the two worst photos of these two actors ever taken. (Malone fares way worse.) [THR]
· The SEC has a few questions for Mark Cuban, who sold 600,000 shares search engine Mamma.com Inc. after receiving a hot insider tip that allowed him to save $750,000 by dumping his stake in the company. Just for fun, we entered "Mark Cuban Insider Trading" in Mamma. Nothing much turned up. Whatchu hiding, Mamma? [Variety]

I'll be a happy audience member this time. And what's gone on with Heath and everything... I think Heath was the one that was going to come back. And since he can't... (Pauses) You know, Chris hasn't said that he's going to make another one. ... I'm sure they drove the Brinks truck up to his house and dumped money on his lawn. But I think Chris wants to go out and make other movies, too. And he should. He's an independent filmmaker at heart. He's got a lot of ideas.

Now that's a fittingly bleak rejoinder to post-TDK gossip, though it should be mentioned that any Brinks visit was as much a reward for Nolan's current success as it was a down payment on his soul through 2011 — the presumed release date for the Dark Knight follow-up that (barring catastrophe) will be made by the same creative team in the years ahead. Hope you enjoyed your holiday, Mr. Nolan — now get to work! Cher's expecting your phone call!

• Aaron Eckhart Discusses The Future Of Harvey Dent [AICN]

"I thought Jack Nicholson played a better Joker than Heath Ledger. I thought Aaron Eckhart deserves the Academy Award nomination because he delivered a better performance."

The hilariously bombastic clip, which also includes Screamin' A. Smith's pick for who should've replaced Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes (according to his exacting standards, she wasn't "fine" enough), after the jump.

Warning: If you have been taking a vacation from the Internets for the last 18 months or so and/or have never seen Batman Forever, there are some very mild spoilers in this clip. Buyer beware (and stuff):

• 1st And 10 [ESPN, clip via RedLasso]

Follow the jump for their respective two cents — mostly spoiler-free for even the most casual followers of the film, and naturally among the finest criticism available anywhere online.

STV: We should probably go into this acknowledging that the film is review-proof and completely saturated with things too interesting to spoil.
STV: That said, I just thought it was pretty good.
SA: I thought it was excellent!
STV: Yeah, yeah, fine. It's fitfully brilliant, but so heavy-handed. Did I miss something?
SA: Nope. This was the summer 2008 superhero movie for people who enjoy feeling awful, and thinking about feeling awful, and expressing what makes feeling awful so gosh darn wonderful.
STV: Iron Man this is not.
SA: It's misanthropy porn. It's also the bluest superhero movie I've ever seen, in every sense of the word.
STV: Right. From the start, too — those billowing blue flames, the Hong Kong horizons, Gotham at night.
STV: And yeah, everyone's depressed as hell.
SA: But that said, I don't think a single scene passed by that I didnt feel worked. And it was a long movie.
STV: What about the story? I was lost.
SA: The story was fine. Corrupt city government. Crime infested streets.
SA: It was sort of The Departed with bat-gadgets.
STV: But the Joker shows up wanting a piece of Teflon goombah Eric Roberts, the Russians, the blacks, and a Hong Kong money-laundering syndicate.
SA: Its the Mafia Olympics!
STV: Even if Gotham City is totally corrupt, it's the most equal-opportunity corruption in history, which I guess should be commended.
SA: Speaking of the Joker, what did you think of Heath?
STV: Heath was annoying.
STV: It's not his fault. Nolan couldn't rein him in.
SA: I was prepared for him to be annoying, but I actually really enjoyed him.
SA: I mean, its The Joker! This isn't a portrait in subtlety. You want hyena cackles!
STV: But look — and this is my problem with the whole movie: The audience is overwhelmed with moralizing.
SA: Yes, I'll agree it got bogged down in speechifying.
STV: The Joker is the default "Man, this world is fucked" mouthpiece, but his actions — just his very look — defy the monologues, the hamminess.
STV: He needs an origin story like the Burton Joker, right? Who the hell is this guy?
SA: Yeah — their not committing to his backstory was a strong choice, but I'm not sure it really helped them.
SA: But I think they were trying to say, "What does it matter where he came from?" Like, what does it matter where any psychopath comes from? He's chaos. But then you have no psychological in, so he's less interesting.
STV: Alfred the Butler touches on it: "Some people just want to watch the world burn."
SA: Yeah, but that doesn't satisfy dramatically.
STV: Even that was kind of overbearing.
SA: Nolan was reaching high with this. He obviously wanted the monologues.
STV: He's a great director, though, right? I mean, this film looks, feels, sounds amazing.
SA: That's why your quibbles don't bother me. This is his ride, and it's spectacular, and if he wants his speeches about human nature, I'll listen to them.
SA: He chose great actors to deliver them.
STV: But he's so much better at subterranean truck chases and high-altitude kidnappings. I want overturned big rigs!
SA: Well, luckily there's tons of those. And 180-degree, wall-flipping Bad Pods.
STV: And the Bat-Blobile. What was that? The Batmobile was a hulking blob of scrap on wheels.
SA: It was batass.
STV: OK, give me one-line summaries of the following actors' performances: Christian Bale.
SA: Obscene caller voice.
STV: Aaron Eckhart.
SA: Boringly delicious!
STV: Maggie Gyllenhaal.
SA: Made the most of the whiny token female.
STV: Michael Caine.
SA: Should have let him out of the fluorescent Batchamber more.
STV: He's basically a cockney Jiminy Cricket serving breakfast. How about Morgan Freeman?
SA: If God and Q had a kid.
STV: Gary Oldman.
SA: He gets swallowed up in it. He's one of the best actors ever.
STV: I think he's the best thing about it.
SA: Is he?
STV: He's a guy pulled 15 different ways, very flawed, vulnerable, and at his best when things are out of his control. He gets to work when shit hits the fan, while everyone else just sort of... talks.
SA: What did you think of Batman's voice?
STV: I didn't quite get it.
SA: Me neither. It was silly.
STV: He never closes his mouth when he talks, either! It lets all the air out of the big, portentous balloon.
STV: Is Heath Oscar-worthy?
SA: He'll definitely get a nomination.
SA: I sort of think the movie itself deserves a Best Picture nomination. It's just so ambitious and epic and so expensive-looking.
STV: This movie is going to make a fortune, right? I'm calling $140 million for the weekend plus $2 billion in damage caused by rioting fans worldwide.
STV: And I am a believer in IMAX.
SA: Oh, definitely. Those scenes were so cool.
STV: Bad format for preachy screenwriter moralizing, excellent format for hospital implosions and 10-minute chase sequences.
SA: OMG — that hospital. Yeah, I really loved this movie.
STV: It's not bad. I'll stick with Iron Man.
SA: Iron Man was fun; this was a nice compliment.
STV: The Dark Knight: Nihilism for the whole family.

That's about all we can say, really, without leaving it up to the spoilerphiles among you to decide for yourselves: Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart, after the jump.

• 'Dark Knight' Spoiler Pics Confirm Heath Ledger Will Appear In Drag [Animal]

[Eckhart] did say that the wounds are structurally deeper than in the comics: "There are fans on the Internet who have done artist's versions of what they think it will look like, and I can tell you this: They're thinking small; [director] Chris [Nolan] is going way farther than people think."

There were plenty of name actors lined up hoping to get the role of Two-Face, but in the end Nolan went with Eckhart because of his "complexity and this aura he has of a good man pushed too far," Nolan said. ... "The difference between Batman and Two-Face is how far they are willing to go and how they make their point," Eckhart said. "Otherwise, we're talking about vigilante crime-fighting. That's what Batman is all about. He has a strong sense of justice. And Harvey Dent has an extremely strong sense of justice. His fiancée is killed. He's horribly injured. But he is still true to himself. He's a crime fighter, he's not killing good people. He's not a bad guy, not purely."

Anyway, the new trailer online features a brief shot of Eckhart's good side, which as seen above, reveals none of the pitched grimness that we've been looking for since Nolan, Christian Bale and now Eckhart have been talking it up. In any event, we're still too emotionally wounded from last week's viral fanboy stampede to get worked up for this. The nightmares can't possibly get any worse; just give us time, Eckhart. We need time.

• Not just another pretty face in 'The Dark Knight' [LAT]

Regarding the Aniston/Mayer date in question, an OK! source described the pair as "very close and in deep conversation," while a pervier onlooker told Us, "they were very affectionate, definitely touchy, feely." Which is yucky, considering Mayer most recently touched and felt The Blogger Whose Name We Do Not Mention. But more importantly, Jen has been rumored to go on dates and flirt with co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Owen Wilson and, last we heard, Orlando Bloom. None of these rumors have ever gone the way of a Reese/Jake trajectory from "yeah, right" to one year relationship and still chugging along. How are we to interpret her behavior? Is she proving single women can date around and just have fun without worrying about that whole "settling down" thing? Or is this a PR-conceived strategy to make sure the public knows she's still a very wanted woman, and far from the teary mess Vanity Fair memorably cast her as just after her divorce? Lastly, should we just put a ban on any and all Jennifer Aniston Is Dating So-And-So stories in the future?

[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Daily Mail]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JOHN MAYER IN MIAMI [OK!]
• JENNIFER ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MEET IN MIAMI [Us]

Of course we're the last ones to believe silly dating rumors, but we couldn't help noticing the girl's age: 39 as of last week. Not to mention her rap sheet on dating set buddies. (Will those awkward kneeling-on-the-beach pictures with Vince Vaughn ever be erased from our memory? Please?) Plus, Aaron apparently ditched that nice bland blonde he's been dragging to red carpets right before filming. So, as annoying as it is to learn that stars sometimes use movies as means to find significant others, we're gonna have to root for this couple to succeed. Especially after reading that Aniston has reportedly been "heartbroken" ever since some relationship with some guy named Brad Pitt. Who knew?

[Photo Credit: Daily Mail]

• IS JENNIFER ANISTON MORE THAN JUST 'FRIEND'S WITH HER SEXY CO-STAR? [The Daily Mail]

Warner is likely to alter some of its marketing campaign, which featured Ledger's image in the early going. A source close to the project says the plan all along was to start with the Joker and then segue to the image of Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face. In the film, Two-Face is in a love triangle with Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Indeed, Two-Face's significance to the movie's plot was highlighted less than two weeks before Ledger's death, when director Christopher Nolan told the LAT, "Harvey Dent is a tragic figure, and his story is the backbone of this film. The Joker, he sort of cuts through the film — he's got no story arc, he's just a force of nature tearing through. Heath has given an amazing performance in the role, it's really extraordinary." With Knight capitalizing on not just the talents of Ledger and Eckhart, but also the chillingly effective Cillian Murphy back as the Scarecrow, this latest Batman installment promises to pit the Caped Crusader against the most formidable consortium of Gotham-based baddies since Uma Thurman slinked around in a leaf-covered catsuit and Gov. Schwarzenegger made a series of incomprehensible threats involving sub-zero temperatures.

• The Dark Knight Without Heath Ledger [Slate]

The movie — so odious that many people have simply walked out during the screenings — shows actor Aaron Eckhart having sex with a 13-year-old girl played by a now 19-year-old actress, Summer Bishil. The actress only turned 19 recently, however, which means that she was just on the cusp of 18 when she made the movie last year. [...]

Eckhart, best known for roles in "Erin Brockovich" and "Thank You for Smoking" inexplicably agreed to this part. His character initially takes the girl's virginity by fondling her, in a very graphic scene that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Later, he sodomizes her. In between, his pedophilia is played in such a way that the first and only thought is that we're watching kiddie porn.

If Ball — who regularly toyed with conventions in his TV show and in "American Beauty" — thought all this would somehow illuminate the tragedy of child abuse, he was wrong. Too much is shown and too many lines are crossed for "Nothing Is Private" ever to be released by a major studio or distribution company to theatres. If nothing else, the endless "ick" factor involving nearly every character is a permanent obstacle.

We're going to resist the temptation to attempt to poke out our mind's eye with a meat thermometer based on Friedman's critical appraisal alone; after all, this is a film by an actual, Oscar-winning screenwriter who has certainly learned something about the delicate handling of potentially controversial sexual material from his experience of having his American Beauty script translated into an acclaimed motion picture. We're sure whatever early versions of the scenes that precipitated these reported walk-outs can easily be made more aesthetically palatable by the addition of a calming rain of rose petals or a well-timed cutaway to a peacefully floating plastic bag, changes that could defuse further controversy before its next festival screening.

• Kiddie Porn Movie Rocks Toronto as 'Feel-Awful' Film of the Year [Fox 411]

In today's episode: Brett Ratner; Owen Wilson and Adrien Brody; Aaron Eckhart; Jessica Alba; Kevin Connolly, Jason Behr and KaDee Strickland; Jon Heder; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Holly Madison; Danny DeVito and Busy Phillips; Matt Groening, Karen O., and Vincent Gallo; Emmy Rossum; Mathew Lillard; T.R. Knight; Jamie Kennedy; Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally; Brian Austin Green; Tempesst Bledsoe; Walton Goggins; Josh Charles; Tom Irwin and Lizzy Caplan. In Vegas: Johhny Depp and Les Moonves.

· Friday (6/1), about lunchtime, I'm in cluster fuck that is the parking lot at the SouthWest corner of Sunset and Crescent Heights, well, parking. None other than Brett Ratner and friend/driver walk out of the lil' fro-yo/ice cream shop in front of me with their lil' fro-yo/ice cream treats, and hop into their Bentley that is parked next to me. He looked like a happy, little boy with his special treat. Bless his heart.

· Monday night, at the Viceroy — it was a battle of the noses! The Butterscotch Stallion Owen Wilson was chilling in the back of the bar with none other than Adrien Brody! They surveyed the back patio area before heading inside (it was pretty cold, admittedly). They were pretty low-profile, and left a little before last call (at midnight? what is UP with this city?).

· Driving through the "flats" in Bev Hills yesterday (5-31) and who do I see looking lost in his expensive british SUV? None other than soon to be 'Harvey Dent" himself, Aaron Eckhart. Quite handsome, even when lost ( must be the blonde thing). Also, looked older than I thought. Well, blondes don't age well, do they.

· 6/3 - While passing a Coffee Bean in BH on Sunday morning, I overheard a sweet voice rejecting a guy with, "I already have a stylist." I instantly recognized the teeny, svelt backside to be none other than Jessica Alba mere hours before rocking the MTV Movie Awards red carpet (no offense, but thank God she wasn't hosting this year). I'm sure it didn't take her the rest of the day to prep - she looked flawless in jeans, hoodie, wet bun and little to no make-up.

· 5/27 - This one is coming a little late, but I didn't recognize these two at first and had to look them up. Shortly after spotting Kevin Connolly at BLD, I noticed Grudge stars turned husband and wife Jason Behr and KaDee Strickland. She looked pretty and younger in person and smiled in a Cool-I-Think-Someone-Recognizes-Me way.

· Ran into Kay 'n' Dave's in Brentwood to pick up some dinner last night (6-1) and saw Jon Heder with wife, twins and other family member types packing up to leave. He was in full on dad mode, but the pulled-down baseball cap over the 'fro gave him away as an actor-in-hiding. Sadly, Pedro was not with him.

· Peroxide sightings from Westwood...First up Sarah Michelle Gellar at Westwood Equinox last night (6/1/07). She is cute, small and blonde. Then this morning saw Holly Madison from The Girls Next Door at the Starbucks on Santa Monica and Pontius. Also cute, small with the blondest hair I've ever seen. No makeup, which was surprising. Beautiful skin (maybe she's taking some of Hef's age defining magic pills??).

· Arcade Fire show (Tuesday 29 May) at the Greek...Sat right next to Danny DeVito and his two kids. They got there well before the show and watched a bit of Electrelane...He wore a baseball cap and sunglasses throughout most of the show. I made several trips in and out of the row for beers and bathroom breaks, but he was always super nice and smiled saying "Thats alright, dont worry about it!" I literally almost ran him over in the VIP at Coachella last year, so its rad to see that he's a big music fan. Oh, his kids had beers, but he didnt drink. Guess they dont serve Lemoncellos at the Greek...

Also saw Busy Phillips (of Freaks and Geeks fame) who looked WAY better than I've ever seen her. Thin, blonde, and happy suits her much better than dumpy, brunette, and scowling.

· Spotted Busy Phillips (a.k.a. Kim Kelly from the late, great Freaks & Geeks) with boyfriend/husband-type guy at the 5/29 Arcade Fire show at the Greek. Was surprised to see that they had wrangled front-row seats.

· 5/31 - Troubadour, had a nice double whammy hipstery kind of sighting. First Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs outside, looking kind of demure and not the least bit crazy at all. Second, inside, the King of all Nerds, Matt Groening and his son. We discussed how he had curated All Tomorrow's Parties years ago and had programmed in Electrelane. I did not ask him if he got to the show riding in a car made of actual money.

6/1 - At the Natural History Museum for 'First Friday' event, talked to Vincent Gallo, at first I couldn't tell it was him at first or just another bearded hipster. Told him I used the Brown Bunny as a kind of test for my friends (to which he responded, "You test your friends?"). Spotted Karen O **AGAIN** and once again, she just seemed like any other nice human that doesn't wear tights with holes in the crotch or crams microphones down her throat.

· Vincent Gallo at Pacific Dining Car (Downtown), Friday night with unidentified diner...looking ever so scraggly. Chews with his mouth full, ugh.

· Ok, so I went to the 10:55 screening of "Knocked Up" on Sunday at the Grove. It eventually sold out with like minded stoners, but anyhow that's not the point here. I saw Emmy Rossum walking out of the 10:30 showing of the same film with that nerd guy she has been spotted with and I shit you not he is even worse in person. Zits. Horrible Clothes. Frighteningly bad patchy facial hair. Either this guy is a billionaire or has a 17 inch cock or some combo of the two. She had her hood up and looked cute. Mathew Lillard was there the next day in the afternoon talking on his phone looking kinda douche-y. Yes I was at the Grove on back to back days.

· the grove, sunday 6.3.07
after emerging from the the 4 day ordeal that is pirates of the
caribbean 3, came upon celebrigay, t.r. knight, and his faggle near the entrance of the theater. much shorter than i imagined but super adorable. the 't' stands for tiny, apparently.

· So I was at the FedEx by my office last week, and after standing at the counter for a short while I realized that the obnoxious guy wearing a blue-and-orange tracksuit talking on his cellphone was none other than Jamie Kennedy. He signed for a huge box and kept asking the person on the other end of the phone about "the girls" and if "we could make noise there". He then lumbered off with his package, which I'm guessing from the conversation was full of party hats and maracas.

· I was dining on the lovely outdoor patio at Orso on 3rd last night and in walks Sean Hayes and another guy. I thought, "OK, mildly cool" until, 10 minutes later, former Will & Grace castmate Megan Mullally sauntered in with a significantly younger, scruffier man (A quick check on IMDB leads me to believe it was spouse Nick Offerman). Wannabe-Ellen greeted Sean with a long, warm and sincere embrace, then sat with their respective partners at a 4-top. Much gabbing ensued, but like their erstwhile TV show, I didn't stick around for the last five, overly sentimental minutes.

Oh, I also thought I saw Aaron Spelling, but then I remembered he croaked last year. Must have been some other withered wraith.

· Hey. I work across from Berry Elegance in Studio City. Celeb sightings often enough from the store. This week, blasts from the past, Brian Austin Green and Tempestt Bledsoe. Oh, not together.

· Thursday, 5/31, 10am, saw The Shield's ultra bad boy, Detective Shane Vendrell (Walton Goggins) at BLD having breakfast with some lovely lady who seemed to be a wife or girlfriend judging by how absorbed they both seemed by their newspapers (in a relaxed way, not a hostile, weird way). My dining companions are not Shield addicts like I am, so the significance of this sighting was lost on them, though they were both highly amused when Shane glanced over at our table as he was leaving and returned my spastic grin with a nice, sincere, thanks-for-your-support smile and wave. Class! I still think Vic should kill him, though, for what he did to Lem.

· The dude from "Dead Poets Society" and "Sports Night" (Josh Charles, says IMDB) lounging with a newspaper outside the Pinkberry on Larchmont this afternoon (6/1). Kind of scruffy facial hair but he still looks like he's 15. Just remembered he was also in "Threesome" so he's probably seen Stephen Baldwin and Lara Flynn Boyle naked. I hesitated to send this sighting in b/c it reveals I was patronizing Pinkberry, but there you have it.

· 6/4 Formosa Café: Tom Irwin (My So-Called Life) and Lizzy Caplan (Mean Girls) were hanging out. Not together. He has aged into the Your Best Friend's Hot Dad Zone and she's tinier than expected.

Special Vegas Edition:

· June 3rd - Las Vegas

As you know working in entertainment can be a grind so occasionally I'll take a break and work with the 'rents in the jewelry industry - specifically the big jewelry show in Vegas. As I'm strolling the aisles of the show a guy on the short side, wearing all white linens with a fedora is coming right at me. I notice he doesn't have a badge on which is usually an indicator of you either snuck past security, or your last name is Bulgari. Well his last last name was DEPP and first name was JOHNNY. Apparently his face was a good enough badge for the armed guards at the entrance. My dad said hello to him, and he said hello back. He had large forearm tattoos - Johnny that is, not my dad.

· Not sure if sightings outside The Grove count but I saw Les Moonves at one of the casino floor lounge type bars at the Bellagio in Las Vegas, wednesday night 5/30. He was surrounded by a bevy of older cougar type beauties and unfortunately in true "Network President in Vegas fashion" I did not see him beating up his girlfriend by the valet stand.

• Previously: "40-Year-Old Virgin" Hyphen Affair: The Final Hyphenation [Defamer]