Gawker: defamer, 2008 emmy awards

Not Even Oprah Can Resist The Power Of Swag

AmyKSays — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:35:00 EDT

Oh, celebrities - even though US Weekly says They're Just Like Us!, they often seem to inhabit stratospheric heights. Take Oprah Winfrey, for example. She founded that school in South Africa. Her Angel Network raised money for Katrina relief efforts. And who can forget Oprah's Favorite Things!, when she nearly sends hordes of teachers in her audiences into cardiac arrest by giving them free cars and red velvet cupcakes.

Well, apparently Opes is just as greedy as the rest of us.

Over the weekend, Oprah hit up an Emmy swag suite and - gasp! - actually took something home with her. A purple-grey Lesportsac limited edition bowling style bag designed by Stella McCartney. Really, Oprah? We would've gone for one of these cool hats, like Neal Patrick Harris did. Lookin' good, Doogie.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Oprah Winfrey stops in at Emmy swag suite? Is the economy that bad? [LAT]

Every Awkward Emmy Moment in Two Minutes

Kyle Buchanan — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Though the Emmys are often derided for being boring and predictable, last night's painfully awkward ceremony left us reeling. Whether it was the interminable improv given to stiff reality show hosts, the endless, poorly-chosen clips from shows like Desperate Housewives that segued into The Price is Right-level set recreations, or the vituperative comments from presenters and winners that had clearly turned on the shoddy format, the event was one prolonged cringe after another. Scientists are still studying the side effects caused by watching the ceremony without proper safety glasses (to make it through the whole show, we had to resort to viewing it through a pinhole), but have no fear, our two-minute long recap of the show's most awkward moments is FDA-approved. Enjoy! [Academy of Television Arts & Sciences]

Emmy Hell Postmortem: The Only Thing Worse Than the Hosts Were the Ratings

STV — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:05:00 EDT

Fallout is almost always a certainty in the corrosive cosmos of awards-show aftermaths, but rarely do we spend the next morning sealing our windows as painstakingly as we have since the end of the Emmys. From the botched opening — which even Jeremy Piven was actively (and publicly) scrubbing from memory less than 30 minutes into the show — to the nightmarishly accelerated climax, this year's Emmycast found creative new ways to alienate pretty much everyone in three hours or less. You essentially know where we stand on the damage scale, but others were not so lucky; keep your oxygen tanks and penicillin handy for a brisk survey of the casualties.

· Early reports indicate the Emmys suffered their worst ratings ever: Roughly 12.2 million viewers tuned in, a 7% percent drop from 2007 and about 100,000 fewer than the previous low in 1990. Explanations range from primetime NFL competition to the Kimmel lead-in getting blown out by 60 Minutes, but let's be honest: If Katherine Heigl wasn't coming, why would America?

· No one was more disappointed than beat writers at the Nokia Theater, who waited in vain for winners who never arrived. The culprit: The long elevator detour to the press room, as opposed to last year's nearby tent at the Shrine. But, reports Variety: "There's no question that the buffet laid out for the hungry scribes was far better than any Emmy nosh in years."

· As such, the Academy's generosity paid off in karmically complimentary reviews like USA Today's:

The lesson ABC's Sunday slog seemed to be striving to impart is that the Emmys are a joke — and a bad one at that. From Josh Groban's musical montage to that monumentally terrible, time-wasting quintet — Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst and, in particular, a dithering Howie Mandel — the show seemed designed to convince us that we shouldn't be watching. Not just the Emmys, mind you, but television itself.

· Dry cleaners around town were inundated this morning, taking in hundreds of soiled tuxedos belonging to broadcast brass terrified over cable's incursion into their big night. The name "Bryan Cranston" is the new Brown Note.

· Remember that bomb scare to which Eva Longoria alluded in her interview with Ryan Seacrest? False alarm! It was a BB gun in some attendee's trunk, forcing everyone to get out and walk when their limos couldn't approach the red carpet.

· Making matters worse, non-celebrities attempted to use the celebrity metal detector. This from the director of John Adams, who couldn't even outmatch Jay Roach in his own category. Pot, meet kettle.

[Photo: Getty Images]