Gawker
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superstars
John Fitzgerald Page Can Put You in the Movies!
Stop everything: John Fitzgerald Page—the Worst Person in the World—is doing stuff! Would you like to be in a movie with Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek? John Fitzgerald Page can make it happen: More »
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60
Comment by scroll_lock: How can he be in a periodically accurate 1930's movie with plugs? I he was waiting for his big break... 9 Responses | Other threads
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defamer connections
Happy Endings Offered to Disney, Warners Execs
The Age of the Easily Expensed Job-Perk (Assistant: "You want me to submit a receipt that says, 'Lunch withhookerRatner?'" Agent: "Yeah, that's fine. Throw 'er in there with the rest...") are long over. More »
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By SethComment by Kitten_Witawip: I wonder what he's got against Universal? 1 Responses | Other threads
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craigslist
Is This The Greatest Craigslist Car Ad Ever Written? Yes.
Apropos of nothing save the desire to inject a little cheer into your lives, we bring you now a shimmering pearl found inside the most unexpected of internet mollusk varieties: the Craigslist auto ad. -
blind items
What Celebrity TV Doctor Took To Craigslist In Search Of A Wife?
When you're just a lonely regular person, you can always post a personal ad on Craigslist. But what if you're a lonely celebrity person? And not just any celebrity person, but a celebrity person with a medical degree and board certification, who millions turn to regularly for health advice? Well, then it's not so easy. For starters, forget the Craigslist personals, and move over to the help wanted section—because what you're looking for is a PR assistant to help you weed through the available dating pool, smoking out the social-climbers, the gold-diggers, and the butterfacers in search of The One: More »
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By SethComment by kookla: Dr. Bill Dorfman, Exteme Makeover Dentist [www.bestweekever.tv] 5 Responses | Other threads
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barack obama
Broadcast Networks and Horny Craigslister Want To Get In Bed With Obama
It was announced today that Barack Obama will be buying a half-hour of primetime television on both CBS and NBC just a few days before the November 4 election. The political infomercial reps good news for both networks (which can pre-empt low-rated shows like Gary Unmarried and Knight Rider in favor of a pre-sold half hour), but it may be even better news for the frisky Craigslister who just posted this offer: More » -
defamer connections
Ryan, Is That You?
Gosh—are the Emmy Awards here already? While we make the last arrangements for our fabulous Emmy Awards Liveblog Extravaganza and eco-themed after-party Sunday (hey—who seated America Ferrera next to Blake Lively? There's gonna be so much eye-rolling going down, it's gonna be like it's all Scanners up in he-yuh!), we thought we'd do our part for anyone else out there scrambling to pull things together in time. We dutifully pass along, then, this Craigslist ad seeking a highly specific brand of companionship for the big show: More »
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By SethComment by Old No.7: Wow, I just realized how out-of-bounds my previous joke was, even for me. Apologies in advance. We need some editing tools... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by Old No.7: The sunglasses hide the soulless agonizing pain caused by being related to Tom Cruise. You'll get your own pair in due... 1 Responses | Other threads
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defamer connections
Craigslist Commuter Will Gladly Chauffeur You For A Glimpse At Your Panties
Because there's nothing we like more than to connect eco-conscious Southland commuters with vehicle-equipped skirtlessness-enthusiasts, we now pass along this Craigslist ad featuring a fresh spin on shared rides: More »
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By SethComment by anglematic: There was recently the opposite of this post on CL in Seattle. A woman was offering to "pleasure" someone for... more » | Other threads
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blind item
Blind Item: Which Assistant-Dating Dance Show 'Staffer' Wants You to Watch His/Her Peacock?
An eagle-eyed, Craigslist-scavenging informant today points us to a compelling career opportunity for the ambitious dreamer in you: A "high-ranking staffer on a hit dance reality show" is in dire need of a new assistant after the last one apparently agreed to assist him (or her, we suppose) full-time in bed: More »
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By STVComment by RocketRockit: @Losin_it: I'm a liquidarian Friday night through Sunday around 11PM. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Scalpers, Thriving Date Marketplace Bring 'Dark Knight' Ticket Dream to Life
We heard from plenty of friends and acquaintances who were tragically shut out of The Dark Knight's opening-weekend Bat-magic; having procrastinated on purchasing IMAX tickets, it was a tough week to be a casual moviegoer and partake of history's biggest smash. Thank God for Craigslist, we suppose, where at least if you can withstand the Joker-costumed throngs queued up around the block for their fourth viewing, a deal awaits — if you call $60 for two ducats a "deal": More »
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By STVComment by WGARefugee: When I meet a woman for the first time, I always scan the papers for a movie about dueling psychopathic... more » | Other threads
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gerbils
Breakthrough Awaits Talented Hollywood Hamster
As much as we bemoan the dearth of good roles for women, minorities and Coreys, things have really never been worse for gerbils. But a change may be in the offing as early as this weekend, when one lucky hamster has the chance to break the fluorescent-plastic ceiling en route to the A-list: More » -
20th century fox
Studio Intimacy Sweepstakes Get Richer as Fox Joins Craigslist Circle-Jerk Circuit
At this rate Craigslist might want to consider a subcategory for "Studio J.O. Break" or some like-titled catch-all for furtive worktime leisure pursuits; Casual Encounters can't possibly contain the epidemic of solicitations that began yesterday on the Sony lot and continues today with an even more ambitious transmission from Fox [NSFW]: More » -
craigslist
Massive Four-Figure Payday Awaits 'Very Famous' Figure Shameless Enough to Attend Movie Premiere
A high-finance, tax-free, low-self-esteem business opportunity awaits one lucky C-lister next week in Santa Monica, where the producers of the independent film David and Fatima are sparing no expense to attract interest in their theatrical premiere. Or perhaps they're sparing a minor marketing expense, maybe a publicity fee and possibly a professional celebrity wrangler charge (but that's it!) by going straight to Craigslist with the Limited Time Offer you'll find after the jump. Tighten your shoulder straps, Tara Reid — you're wanted back on the red carpet! More »
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By STVComment by Bear_Necessities: Too bad it's only $ 2000, otherwise Montag/Pratt would have been delighted to RSVP. I'm not so sure if Phoebe Price... more » | Other threads
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defamer connections
Help A 'Revenge Of The Nerds' Fan Achieve Darth Climax
Because we at Defamer are fully committed to bringing together fans of seminal '80s teen comedies and Star Wars geeks in possession of both a Darth Vader mask and a burning need to get laid (of which there should be no shortage), we now pass on a personals ad, salvaged by a sharp-eyed Defamer reader before being snatched from the ether by an unseen hand and replaced with the dreaded "flagged for removal." It read: More » -
defamer
Reality TV Casting Call Seeks O.R. Newbies For 'Virgin-Surgeon Island'
Just when we started to truly believe that every reality TV idea had already been plundered, comes a Craigslist casting opportunity featuring one of the more fertile premises we've yet heard: It's a show devoted to capturing all the thrilling highs and the "Oops! But I'm almost positive you said it was the left knee that was giving you trouble" lows of a surgeon's first time. More »
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By SethComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: I have to imagine with sky-rocketing malpractice insurance premiums that no doctor in his/her right mind would commit to doing... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Anonymous Celebrity Seeking Personal Assistant to Get Directions, Wash Car, Chew Food...
Give your notice! Get your resumes polished! A caps-lock challenged "A-list CELEBRITY MUSICIAN/ACTOR" is making the HR rounds this week, in search of a personal assistant More » -
investments
'Genius' With $20 Million Seeks Producer; Must Like Hermits, Work Cheap
A browse through Defamer's Craigslist Hall of Fame suggests a near-future when all of Hollywood's hopes, dreams and ambitions will be funneled directly through the classifieds. We've never been more certain than we were this afternoon, when an eagle-eyed tipster spotted a real genius — not one of these half-assed Uwe Boll types, but a guy who can actually spell "nanotechnology" — on the prowl for a very generous producer: More » -
casting
A frustrated, out-of-work actor has taken to Craigslist in search of "alternative methods" to prepare for an upcoming audition: "One of my friends suggested I get into white magic, but I think I should find a expert or someone who knows what they are doing...if you could write me with whatever idea/spell you have to help me that would be great, because like I said I have never done this before." It's actually not the craziest idea we've ever heard, but we'd caution that this sort of thing isn't for the casual dark arts dabbler; properly casting a casting spell is a science, if anything, requiring just the right measurements of eye of lapdog, hair of Andy Dick, and breath of 1st AD. [Craigslist]
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By SethComment by raincoaster: This dude obviously isn't faking his LA base. Literally every second jobhunter I've worked with in Vancouver has been into... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Craigslist's Carrot Top-Curious Couple
Longtime readers of Defamer know that we like nothing better than to break up the day with a dip into the Defamer Connections basket. This is L.A., however, where every taste and mathematical combination must be accounted for in the worthwhile pursuit of getting one's freak on, and thus requiring us to sometimes stretch the definition and who and what, exactly, constitutes a "connection." Which brings us to today's installment, via Craigslist: More » -
defamer connections
'Two Tickets To Oscars Gets My Wife As Your Unconditional Sex Slave!' Says Craigslist User
Because we at Defamer would like nothing more than to place visiting couples fully indoctrinated into The Lifestyle with spouse-sharing-curious members of the showbiz community who also happen to be in possession of a spare pair of tickets to the Academy Awards and Governor's Ball, we now faithfully reproduce for you a Craigslist ad brought to our attention over the weekend. (It's since been removed by conscientious members of the Craigslist community, who strongly feel that whoring out one's wife, however much mutual consent is involved, has no place in the most venerated and dignified awards show of all. Get thee to The Flackies, pervies!) The ad begins like this: More » -
defamer
From deep within the bowels of Craigslist's Missed Connections section, where crazy hopes that love will somehow find a way are nurtured, a Judge Judy fan reaches out to try and find the courtroom spectator of his dreams: "judge judy lady in audience - m4w More » -
defamer
Craigslist Stalking Victim Asks Rachel Bilson To Shit Or Get Off The Pot
While we usually delight in using this space to bring people together, Defamer Connections is occasionally called upon to step in and lend a hand in prying a stalker and their celebrity prey apart. Never, though, have we encountered an instance like the following—a curious reversal of the traditional male/female, celeb/stalker dynamics, in which a local gymgoer has turned to the Craigslist Bureau of Ships in the Night to address heightening concerns over the hungry eyes of Rachel "Formerly of The O.C., Tomorrow, Who Knows?" Bilson. The posting: More » -
defamer
Craigslist Abounds With Exciting, Strike-Related Opportunities
What better way to celebrate Day 5 of the writers strike than by trawling Craigslist—the one place you can find a couch, a job, and a lunchtime quickie within minutes—to see what kinds of opportunities might have arisen from the wreckage: More » -
defamer
Shunned By 'Trek,' William Shatner Not Without Craigslist-Based Options
Apparently, we weren't the only ones shocked and saddened to learn that William Shatner's erratic speech patterns and considerable Klingon wrestling experience would not be put to use in the next Star Trek movie. (Some turk named Chris Pine would be playing young Kirk in JJ Abrams' Muppet Babies-esque take on the series.) In Hollywood, however, when one transporter pod closes, another often opens; we're thrilled, then, to direct Mr. Shatner to the following Craigslist casting opportunity for an upcoming major motion picture, tailored to his specific strengths: More » -
defamer
You: A fellow contestant with me over three years ago on that Jaywalking ripoff game show Street Smarts. Me: Totally hot for you, but had a girlfriend at the time. We: Totally meant for each other! Remember when we both agreed that 17-year-old chick wouldn't be able to name Bill Clinton's daughter? And we were both right? That was the moment I just knew. [Craigslist]
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By SethComment by OldTowneTavern: Poor guy. This is obviously an infatuation. Though giggling over the stupidity of youth has its charms, it's... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Help A Craigslister Land Some A-List Talent, Earn Yourself $25,000
Even if you're not plugged in enough to reach the A-list talent you'd love to attach to your passion project, Craigslist's virtual casting office always offers hope to those who aren't afraid to dream big: after all, you never know when a well-connected agent, manager, or producer will accidentally stumble across your ad while searching for someone to grant their own seemingly crazy wishes. And if you have tens of thousands of dollars to help motivate your potential middlemen to lend a hand, all the better: More » -
defamer
Stroke Your Way Through Your Strike-Related Cash Flow Problems
Are you a sporadically working WGA member with soft, gentle hands, the ability to breathe quietly, and a willingness to explore unconventional employment options to pick up some extra cash for your personal strike fund? Then head to Craigslist right now, for you can be sure that the following position won't remain unfilled for long: More » -
defamer
The Search Begins For Hollywood's Next Top P.R. Assistant
As part of our ongoing mission to connect our readers with exciting opportunities to wear kicky headsets, hold a clipboard, and stand at the entrance of Les Deux, ready to stun-gun the first uninvited star of Sunset Tan who tries to breach the last line of defense at a Sidekick launch party, we are happy to pass along this Craigslist ad seeking an amazing mulititasker willing to sacrifice her life for a chance to learn the dark Hollywood-publicity arts. A warning before you begin reading: don't even THINK about applying if you don't have the energy level a coked-up TGI Friday's hostess and the steely nerves of a fifteen-year bomb squad veteran: More » -
defamer
"emmy tix $550 or discount for job lead - $550 work in the industry? smart, attractive, hard working, computer-savvy chick with spotty tv writing career needs a job that could lead to something. hook me up and I'll drop the price. two emmy tix w/parking and limo pass - 3rd balcony, but easy access to the 2nd balcony after show begins. email your number and offer" [Craigslist] -
defamer
An Anonymous Angel Reaches Out To Britney Spears
As we all learned yesterday through two minutes and eleven seconds of the most affecting moving images ever transmitted over the YouTubes, even though it sometimes seems as if the entire world has turned on turned on VMA exploitation victim Britney Spears, there are still those willing to reach out to her as she tries to navigate this seemingly endless dark night of the erstwhile-pop-star soul. In the interest of connecting Spears with the generous, but anonymity-valuing, individuals offering to help her through these difficult times, we pass along this note from a Craiglister: More »
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By MarkComment by amandacobra: not only can she help you help yourself brit brit but she also makes a fantastic babysitter. "get the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
You're Just One Shady Craigslist Ad Away From Realizing All Of Your Hollywood Dreams
While we at Defamer realize that any of our female readers with acting aspirations hardly need our help in procuring the services of "producers" willing to exchange sexual favors for empty promises of career assistance, we nonetheless feel it's our duty to occasionally serve as middleman between parties seeking this classic, mutually beneficial show business arrangement. Lounging in a VIP booth in Craiglist's virtual Hollywood nightclub is this anonymous starmaker, who's looking to send a drink over to the table of any struggling actress willing to blow him in a bathroom stall if he passes her headshot on to his favorite agency: More » -
defamer
Broke 'Potter' Fan Willing To Play A Round Of Naked Quidditch In Exchange For Movie Ticket
We realize that between gas, parking, exorbitant ticket fees, and outrageous concession stand prices, the enjoyment of the latest chapter of your favorite fantasy film franchise can often turn into a cost-prohibitive affair. We here at Defamer are therefore more than happy to connect Harry Potter fans of limited means to those of you looking for moviegoing companionship with the potential for something more. Or, to put it more plainly, who'd like to get some hot Craigslist action for the price of a movie ticket? More » -
defamer
Me: A Real Hollywood Director; You: Hot, Smart, Willing To Believe I'm A Real Director
Defamer is committed to bringing together real directors of real movies with real celebrities hard up for fake dates on the biggest nights of their lives, and so in the interest of furthering our mission of faux-romantic mercy, we spotlight this anonymous plea for companionship from Craigslist, the internet's leading escort service for industry professionals desperately seeking non-embarrassing arm-candy. Posts our seeker: More »
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By MarkComment by Whiteboyfunfark: Okay, I'm in. I mean, what the hell--Paris and her all-hours-all-chopper luftwaffe will be back darkening the skies over... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Drunk Fox Employee Issues Late Night Call For Designated Driver
While it's far too late for us to offer to help the following anonymous Craigslist poster find a lift so that he wouldn't miss his obscenely early call time, we feel we nonetheless should pass along his admirably responsible, late night plea for a designated driver (or, as the job is commonly called in the industry, a "PA"): More »
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By MarkComment by Greasy Thumb Guzik: "24" is shot in Chatsworth in the former Mitsubishi pencil factory at Lassen & Variel. more » | Other threads
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jobs
Defamer Employment: Kids' Show Currently Staffing Up On Craigslist
Defamer is committed to informing its currently unemployed, comedy-writing readers about exciting job opportunities being made available outside of the traditional TV-staffing-season process, and so we pass along this painstakingly detailed Craiglist cattle-call for our town's funniest, least annoying, and most blindly trusting scribes. Sure, trying to staff a union show on CL seems like a strategy only marginally less suspicious than sneaking up behind anyone tapping away at a laptop at a local Starbucks and ensnaring them in an enormous butterfly net, but hey—breaking into the sitcom game has never been tougher, so why not take a potentially fatal risk to get that first gig? An excerpt: More » -
craigslist
Defamer Connections: Seeking '300' Craigslist-Trawling Spartan Tops
We at Defamer realize that the moviegoing experience can sometimes be so exhilarating that the mere act of watching passively without injecting oneself into the proceedings can feel frustrating and unfulfilling. What sets apart this audience member's response to the exposed manflesh orgy that is 300 isn't so much the fact that the film conjured up detailed multi-partner sexual scenarios, but that he was willing to take the proactive step of posting a Craigslist ad that might actually help him actualize his Spartan bukkake fantasies: More » -
connections
Defamer Connections: Barely Legal Oscar Action Edition
We at Defamer realize that time is preciously short for the still-dateless to find suitable, barely legal companionship for their various Oscar-related social obligations, and so we're committed to doing our part to help the industry's twink-loving lonelyhearts connect with the boyish consorts of their dreams. With this sacred mission in mind, we reach out to assist this anonymous Craigslist seeker in his efforts to cast a date who can play the part of "I don't even know this child who just climbed into my limo when I wasn't looking, officer," but who is actually old enough not to earn the ad's author any jail time: More » -
oscars
Defamer Connections: Screenwriter Seeks Non-Embarrassing Oscar Night Companionship
We realize that those of you lucky enough to have scored a pair of tickets to Hollywood's biggest night might be too preoccupied with last-minute preparations to focus on hunting down your evening's crowning accessory: a poised and stunning arm-candy specimen, well-versed in red carpet and after-party etiquette (e.g. standing three feet behind your date at all times; smiling always, but never too broadly; remaining completely mute unless otherwise instructed, etc.). With time quickly running out, and escort services charging higher premiums than ever, it's hardly surprising that thedesperateromantically adventurous should turn to Craigslist for their Oscar-night-companionship needs: More »
defamer
Hollywood, 1:33 AM
Mon Jul 6
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