Happy Ending Enthusiasts Review the Massage Parlor Where Calvin Harris Did Something for Two Hours

Jay Hathaway · 09/11/15 03:40PM

EDM Ken-doll and Taylor Swift consort Calvin Harris was seen leaving a Thai massage parlor on Sunset Boulevard earlier this week, after spending two hours inside. Radar reported the spot Harris visited received raves on Yelp as the best “happy ending” spot in town, conjuring visions of a normal human man casting about for relief from his obligations to an exquisite celebrity android. But when it comes to professional handjobs, there are more reliable sources than Yelp, and, apparently, more reliable massage parlors than In Thai Spa.

Calvin Harris Visits "Best Happy Ending" Thai Massage Parlor; Name Taylor Swift’s Emotion

Allie Jones · 09/11/15 12:25PM

It’s always nice when couples have common interests, like skiing or manga or believing in fairytales. For example: In 2008, Taylor Swift sang, “I had so many dreams/About you and me/Happy endings/Now I know,” in the ballad “White Horse.” Then, on Thursday, her official boyfriend Calvin Harris visited a Thai massage parlor that—according to Yelp—provides the “best happy endings” in Hollywood.

Three White Swans

Allie Jones · 06/11/15 02:40PM

Here is a photo of Taylor Swift and her new “beau,” the DJ Calvin Harris, enjoying a pool day and doing fun-but-ultimately-restricted poses for the camera. Do these two people like having sex (together), or do they LOVE having sex (together)? If you said yes to either, I’m sure this “hot couple” appreciates your faith.