Gawker
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books
Sequel Director Is Publishing's Latest Embarrassing Sugar Daddy
Oh, hey there, literati. Remember when that German factory manager took over Random House? Sad. But take heart: The director of Beverly Hills Cop IV is investing in the biz, too. Exciting! More »
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By Ryan TateComment by DrFeelgood: He doesn't need to read. He has people that do that for him. He's like a monk. Silent, deep in thought,... 2 Responses | Other threads
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Sundance 2009
Today in Sundance Hell: Oddsmaking, Empty Seats, and Brett Ratner Speaks!
Your daily fest-news buffet continues with a saint-making Brett Ratner and a worrisome slowdown at the Sundance ticket booth. More » -
hugh hefner
Brett Ratner Barely Earns Hugh Hefner Seal of Approval
Hugh Hefner spent some time last weekend recounting his Hollywood obsession for the LAT. Conspicuously missing from his list: Brett Ratner, who is likely to direct a Hefner biopic in the years ahead. -
brett ratner
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: 11/13 - Just saw sweaty dooshy oily sweaty pudgy squishy BRETT RATNER walking in Beverly Hills accompanied by a nonchalant blonde. He was passing us on the sidewalk, eyeballing a red-headed blue-eyed beauty wearing a black Obama Tshirt that had his face on it in sparkles. I stopped to tell the girl that THE WORLD FAMOUS Brett Ratner had given her the thrice-over and she pondered the possibility of crossing the street a different way to catch his eye again. HOWEVER, she did not do so. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.] -
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Comment by Jackie Gleason's Fart Cave: Wow. He looks like what would come out if Jonah Hill raped Chris Penn's corpse. 1 Responses | Other threads
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brett ratner
To Make the 'Guitar Hero' Movie, Brett Ratner Needs You To Stop Buying the Game
While conducting interviews at the VMAs yesterday, the nearby booth advertising Rock Band 2 was the cacophonous bane of our existence — though no one was more unhappy to see it than director Brett Ratner. As you may recall, the Defamer-beloved auteur (and big penis enthusiast) aspires to direct a film adaptation based on Rock Band's rival video game franchise, Guitar Hero. Since the idea continues to boggle our minds, we knew we had to venture a question, even if the resulting Defamer-on-Ratner interaction threatened to spin the world off its axis. Fortunately, the Rush Hour 3 helmer was every bit the gentleman. We blame the heatstroke. [MTV] More »
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Comment by stranger: Sorry for the double post here- but I had to ask: Did anybody else notice how Ratner's arm-candy was having trouble... 2 Responses | Other threads
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brett ratner
'Guitar Hero: The Movie' Rich In Ratnerian Themes Of Artistic Fakery
Art-eschewing, mainstream-tentpole- project-maker Brett Ratner's love for the video game sensation known as the Guitar Hero knows no bounds. His obsession with the instrument sim and its groupie-nailing expansion packs stems back to his formative years at NYU film school, when he'd busk in Washington Square Park, playing as many Police songs as he could using the four notes he was capable of eliciting from a harmonica. The first time he picked up Hero, it gave him the same quaternary musical thrill ("Smoke on the Water," for example, became a four-color kaleidoscopic "red red blue/green green blue blue/red red green/ yelllooowww"), and he since has gone about incorporating the game into many of his smaller projects—everything from Miley Cyrus videos to Mariah Carey videos. But an actual Guitar Hero movie? He'd love a crack, he told MTV Multiplayer: More »
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By SethComment by Glass_Family: "It's not like I would make a bad movie." Indeed. 1 Responses | Other threads
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trade roundup
Paramount Offers Brett Ratner First-Hack Deal
· With New Line but a shadowy shingle of its former self, Billion Dollar Director Brett Ratner is packing up the Rat Entertainment boxes and moving onto the Paramount lot to marinate in soulmentor Bob Evans's pungent creative vapors. He pledges to no one in particular, "I will not be pitching art films. I want to make mainstream tentpole projects." [Variety] More »
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By SethComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: Great, now maybe he'll be able to afford that razor he's had his eye on. more » | Other threads
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mike myers
The Death of 'Austin Powers' (And Six More Hobbled Franchises Worth Putting Down)
After the unfortunate reception for The Love Guru, it's just too easy to write off New Line's prospective Austin Powers revival (which Mike Myers is reportedly working on for New Line with former series collaborator Mike McCullers) as yet another ill-advised folly belching the black smoke of Myers's career. In fact, taken as merely a part of the larger phenomenon we at Defamer like to call The End of Ideas, the Powers franchise is but a speck of the shit on Hollywood's collective bathroom wall — a tableau diligently studied today by the haz-mat crew at Entertainment Weekly. More »
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By STVComment by raincoaster: Okay, execute me if you want, but I LIKE the Austin Powers films, and like the idea of another. The... more » | Other threads
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defamer
The Lost Boy
· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by jaclyn29: I can't help it, but I keep obsessing about Corey Haim! I keep watching the show, I keep watching his... more » | Other threads
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brett ratner
Brett Ratner: Big Penis Enthusiast
Brett Ratner gets a lot of shit here at Defamer. We've called him "annoying," "a hack," even... gasp... "a bad director." But one thing we won't do is say the guy doesn't appreciate fine literature. Why, according to Page Six, Ratner was the biggest star at an LA book signing the other night. Of course, that book was The Big Penis Book. And Taschen, the publisher, says it's "profusely illustrated with over 400 historic photos of spectacular male endowments." More »
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By nickmComment by Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: @WGARefugee: Count me in... I wanted both front-end AND back-end profit sharing deals (based on GROSS, not suckers-only NET), as... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Eddie Murphy Wants To Stop Playing Robots With Aliens Inside Of Them And Start Getting Real
Is it possible that one of Hollywood's biggest comedic stars — who has had handlers and publicists coddling him with tales of his own greatness for years — has actually developed some self-awareness? Shocking as it may seem, it sounds like that's what's going on with Eddie Murphy. For example, why is he making a fourth Beverly Hills Cop movie? Not because of something so crass as money, but because "the third Beverly Hills Cop was horrible! I didn't want to leave it like that. The first two were cool and the third one was shitty. [Let's] get the franchise fixed again, clean up this old mess and do a good movie." More »
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By nickmComment by muffintopsweat: As much shit as you may want to dish out to Eddie, the man is the highest grossing star of... more » | Other threads
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Comment by Douglas Reinhardt: @TurdBlossom: Piven cause he's a Coffee Bean guy. more » | Other threads
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Fame Games
VH1 Rolls The Dice With New Unknown Actress Reality Show, But Does The 'I Wanna Be A Big Stah!' Format Work Anymore?
Here we go again! VH1 (who else?) has just greenlit Scream Queens, a reality show in which 10 unknown actresses desperate to be the next Jamie Lee Curtis or Janet Leigh will compete for a starring role in an upcoming “major†Lionsgate film. And boy are they excited — one Lionsgate rep tells THR that “discovering new talent is always exciting,†while another chimes in by teaching us that “VH1 has had a tremendous track record in launching alternative programming that captures viewers' imaginations.†Yes, yes it does! Our brains have been expanded by Viacom's ongoing carnival featuring women degrading themselves in hot tubs and music execs attempting to Make A Band, Any Band Will Do quarter after quarter. But with a reputable horror studio behind Scream Queens and the fact that scary movies have launched more than a few major careers, this one may put its You’re The One That I Want and It Factor predecessors to shame. We look back at five recent Next Big Thing reality shows in an effort to place our bets: More »
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Comment by brilliantmistake: The It Factor also featured Jeremy Renner (SWAT, 28 Days Later), and Lisa Raye. A bunch of the other cast... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Seven Reasons Why 'Beverly Hills Cop 4' is a Better Idea Than it Sounds
It looks like there's nothing anybody can do to stop a fourth installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise, which Paramount is reportedly pushing to a 2010 release date and which should finally fulfill that looooong-standing global demand for an Eddie Murphy/Brett Ratner collaboration. But as hammy, craven and sadistic as the project seems at a glance, and although it's likely bound for a dispiriting PG-13 script, we find our tortured souls compelled to give this one a chance; follow the jump for a half-dozen reasons why we could think of worse news to wake up to on a Thursday. Feel free to add your own; we need all the reassurance we can get. More » -
wannabes
Introducing Andy Fiscella, Aspiring Hollywood Player: He's 'Major, Major,' Okay?
Meet Andy Fiscella. Andy owns the Lohan- and Dunst-infested Crown Bar, as well as the Dime and Winston’s. Andy’s likes include: brown corduroys, Brett Ratner, and knocking on wood for good luck. Andy’s dislikes include: Britney Spears, grade-school bullies, and anyone who would dare compare him to Troy Duffy. Which, of course, means he also dislikes us. You see, like Duffy, the rags-to-riches-to-rags former bartender who penned Boondock Saints only to wind up screwed over by Darth Weinstein, has an eerily similar trajectory as Andy — though Fiscella’s inevitable downfall still lies on the horizon. In a Metromix profile on the poor man’s Brent Bolthouse, we’re given the chance to dive inside of a “hot spot†club owner's mind grapes. And predictably, they’re rotten, sour, and likely to cause you to vomit. More »
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Comment by WGARefugee: I think a cool one-word moniker like "Fistula" would get Andy past the assistant and out of the old slush... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Ambitious Brett Ratner Pulls Out All the Stops for Tree Sex
A funny thing happened to Brett Ratner on the way to reviving Smell-o-Vision for a generation deprived of the aromatic arts: He tried filming Anton Yelchin and Olivia Thirlby fucking in a tree. In Central Park! Never one to do anything the easy way, Ratner bravely faced down layers of Gotham bureaucracy in the pursuit of his six-minute segment of the forthcoming omnibus film New York, I Love You: More »
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By STVComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: @SeaPeople: Yeah! You just head down to the boathouse... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Coming Soon: Smell the Badness of Brett Ratner
Army Archerd surprises us every couple of months or so with a scoop worthy of his 55-year reputation as "Hollywood's Original Blogger," or whatever Variety is calling him these days. Today, for example, the veteran gadfly brings word of a cinematic revival so towering, so ahead-of-its-time, so... smelly it could only emerge from the smoldering cerebrum of Brett Ratner: More »
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By STVComment by Crazydogggz: Wow, just wow. First he shits all over the X-men franchise. And then he spews his sick vomit FOR THE... more » | Other threads
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Comment by DexterRiley: Nobody on Ratner's obvious "fiddlin' with my junk" move? more » | Other threads
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the shaye after
'The Hobbit' is Safe! (And Other Grim Fallout from New Line's Demise)
The forthcoming evisceration of New Line Cinema announced yesterday by founding bosses Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne was expected for a while now, but where the pieces would fall was anyone's guess. It still is to some degree, but as the grim news settles in and Time Warner overlord Jeff Bewkes' intentions come to light, we can start parsing the good, bad and the ugly wrought from New Line's demise: More »
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By STVComment by BlinkyMcChuck: I thought this headline meant the Hobbit was safe from being turned into a film. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Girls Still Make Passes At Bob Evans In Glasses
Never one to wile away all of his leisure hours cavorting on a custom-made bed (forget round; this thing is encased in a giant, ceiling-mounted gyroscope), septuagenarian superproducer Robert Evans is forever on the hunt for new ways to extend his brand. His partnership with Oliver Peoples sunglasses is a perfect example: Bob brings the cool, they bring the technical savvy to produce a lens that can repel the UV rays of a tanning bed strong enough to incinerate a 40-50 lb. child, and voilà— a hip new accessories line is born. Evans threw a party in its honor at his Woodland estate, and W magazine was on hand to take in the atmosphere: More »
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By SethComment by Factotum-Vergudo: Tanning Bed? That's funny. He spray tans, I know cause he has yet to pay his bill, the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Because we know that you've been plagued by disturbing nightmares that The Wolf Man might not begin production on schedule following the announcement that creative-difference-haver Mark Romanek had exited the film at the 11th hour: Universal's search for a director is over! Despite rumors that the studio had fallen crazy-in-hacky-love with a certain visionary, they've instead chosen Joe "Hidalgo/Jurassic Park III" Johnston to deliver their hairy baby on time, dashing all our hopes of a Ratnerian reimagining (i.e., anachronistic—but nonetheless thrilling—lycanthrope car chases) of the project. Relieved of this psychic burden, you may now return to a more restful sleep. [Var] -
brett ratner
Universal Wants Brett Ratner's Agent To Know He's Not The Only 'Wolf-Man'-Saving Game In Town
Following the recent Ain't It Cool report that Universal, desperate to find a director willing to step in on incredibly short notice to replace the recently departed Mark Romanek on The Wolf Man, had already decided that Brett Ratner was the hacky Messiah who could deliver them to the On-Time And Near-Budget Promised Land, comes word that the studio is still performing its due diligence by meeting with other candidates who might not be scared off by having to work with the strike-locked script Romanek developed. Among those THR says Universal is considering for the gig: Frank Darabont, James Mangold, Joe "Hidalgo" Johnston and Bill "Dreamgirls" Condon (!). Even with this report, Ratner still seems like the obvious choice, as he's previously proven he's unafraid to jettison a screenplay the moment it interferes with his blockbuster-making vision. [THR]
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By MarkComment by prettymouthandgreenmyeyes: At least Mangold can nominally salvage sub-par screenplays... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Report: Panicked Universal Turns To Brett Ratner To Save 'The Wolf Man'
It seems that when we briefly mused about a scenario in which curiously hacky hired-gun Brett Ratner might be called upon to take over The Hobbit franchise by a panicked New Line, we regrettably attached the director to the wrong combination of pants-soiling studio and destabilized hairy-protagonist project. Following Mark Romanek's recently announced departure from The Wolf Man, a desperate Universal, perhaps seeking a collaborator with whom "creative differences" will never be a problem as long as a large enough paycheck is signed, will ask Ratner to step in and render his predecessor's original vision unrecognizable, according to Ain't It Cool News: More » -
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By Mark GrahamComment by hack-a-rific: I think "creative" should be in quotes, too. more » | Other threads
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brett ratner
Following a Savannah Film Festival event at which Brett Ratner was named Rush Hour Sequel Director of the Year by the fest's blue-ribbon panel, the flattered fauxteur decided to take the students in attendance out for a crash course on the only aspect of the cinematic arts he's truly mastered: the part where one hands over all of his footage to an editor, tells him, "Make a movie out of this, would ya, bro?," then embarks on a celebratory search for a titty bar: "Ratner wasn't finished answering the students' questions when the party ended, and led at least a dozen on a pub crawl which involved a caravan of cabs crossing the bridge to South Carolina in search of a topless bar open in the wee hours of Monday morning. It was a valiant, misguided quest, but the students won't soon forget their seminar with Ratner." [P6] -
defamer
Fans of the original Escape From New York can breathe a sigh of relief, as Brett Ratner has intimated that someone else will be handling the ruination of the John Carpenter classic. We suggest that everyone now start praying that some comic book movie in desperate need of his hacky skillset will come along and make Ratner forget all about how much he loves Sinatra. [AICN] -
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By MarkComment by jasonelias: I'm fairly certain she had cancer, you can't fake that and as real life often does, it pretty much derailed... more » | Other threads
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short ends
Lisping Rocks, Posh Nazi-Hunters, And Tumescent Hacks
· No, The Rock, don't eat those cookies your daughter baked for you! There's cinnamon in them, and you'll have a hilarious allergic reaction that makes you talk like Robin Williams doing his Deaf Guy impression! More »
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By MarkComment by Trixie from Toronto: @drjimmy11: Now you bite your tongue. His music is neither average nor irrelevant. Those are fighting words! more » | Other threads
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trade roundup
Rat-Pack-Worshipping Brett Ratner Takes On Sinatra Project
· What showbiz name evokes Rat Pack-era Hollywood cool more than any other? That's right: Brett Ratner. The singularly hacky Rush Hour 3 director, continuing his ongoing mission to diminish the legacies of legends whose lifestyles he desperately wishes to emulate, will reteam with screechy muse Chris Tucker for an adaptation of Mr. S: My Life With Frank Sinatra, a tell-all bio about Sinatra's relationship with his valet. "I think [Ratner's] channeling Frank sometimes," says one the book's authors, rolling around in a pile of New Line's option cash. [Variety] More » -
defamer
New BFFs Ratner And Silverman To Terrorize VIP Booths Of Hollywood During All-Night 'Notes Sessions'
· In case you haven't heard, Jon Stewart is going to host the Oscars again. Obligatory press release self-deprecation follows: "I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's the charm." [Variety, THR] More » -
monday morning box office
America Might Finally Be Tiring Of Chris Tucker Shouting At Jackie Chan
There are perhaps no harder Monday mornings than the ones of mid-to-late August, when we all know we're showing up for work weeks where nothing interesting can possibly happen. Distract yourself from the drudgery with the weekend box office numbers, then put your head down and nap until Friday afternoon: More »
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By MarkComment by Unamerican: @Cacafuego: Now THAT would make me go see the new Rush Hour...Jackie freaking out and beating Chris Tucker to death,... more » | Other threads
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visual aids
Jackie Chan: By The Numbers
Even though we never did finish that MBA and some crucial data are missing from the chart (it's like The Tuxedo and The Medallion never existed!), we think we understand what Var's trying to say about Jackie Chan's American movie career: Without the support of a certain visionary filmmaker and a high-pitched, fast-talking sidekick, he's just one more Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle away from domestic obscurity. More » -
revelations
Open-Minded Brett Ratner Amused By Prankster Tranny Who Blew Him
The near-constant attention that's accompanying the imminent opening of Rush Hour 3 seems to have turned the already unedited Brett Ratner into something of a chronic oversharer. A couple of days ago, Ratner offhandedly informed the audience at Chinese Theatre know that he lost his virginity at a precocious 13, and in an interview posted on The Advocate's website today, the director deflects accusations that his new movie features some cheap, homophobic jokes by falling back on the time-worn defense [along the lines of—see clarification immediately following!], "Some of the best blowjobs I've ever gotten were by dudes pretending to be chicks." [Ed.note—Allow us to clarify that we are not saying that Mr. Ratner ever spoke these words. They are an apparently confusing attempt to parody the "Some of my best friends "are of x race/sexual persuasion/religion" defense used when an open-minded individual is accused of bias. Also, we in no way mean to imply that the act described to the Advocate below was among the best he's received. Thanks for staying with us during this joke-killing Defamer Clarification.] Wait, what? Ratner explains: More »
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By MarkComment by jasonelias: Ratner needs to find that old tranny. It's probably his soulmate. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Ratner! Ratner! Ratner!
With a mere eight days until the opening of Rush Hour 3, we have perhaps no more than three or four dozen more opportunities to discuss the life and work of visionary filmmaker Brett Ratner, a man whose legacy will live on long after the pyramids have crumbled to dust. This morning's bounty of Ratneria requires that we bullet-point up the highlights: More »
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By MarkComment by raincoaster: Hey, what's the problem here? Jealousy? Salieri was a great guy! more » | Other threads
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defamer
Look Upon Brett Ratner's Works, Ye Mighty, And Despair
At Wednesday night's Chinese Theatre premiere of Rush Hour 3, the latest installment of his tripartite cinematic exposé on the intolerance of native-born comedians towards recent immigrants who've had trouble learning to speak unaccented English, director Brett Ratner took a moment to put four of the greatest achievements of humankind into their proper perspective. Declareth Ratner, according to the LAT: More » -
short ends
The Kid Pays For The Picture
· Did Robert Evans pony up some dough to give a little back-pat to his boy on Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day? You bet. Did Big Bob tear up a little when he picked up that Sharpie to write a nice note to a guy that's like a son to him? You know it, kid. [ad via Digital Variety] More »
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By MarkComment by NotReadyForPrimeTime: I actually used to know somebody who periodically tied himself up and then asked for help getting loose. Creepy. more » | Other threads
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clips
Michael Bay: Power Director
Something doesn't feel quite right about posting a Michael Bay-related video on Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day, but we think we can justify temporarily shifting the spotlight from Ratner to his Transformers counterpart by pointing out that Bay's seven movies have actually grossed more than those of today's fauxteur-of-honor, crossing that magical ten-figure barrier in domestic receipts alone. In any case, we're too impatient to wait until Var gets around to its Bay BDD issue (the full-pager from Jerry Bruckheimer, we're told, will actually explode when the reader flips to it—but don't worry, a welder's mask will be included with every copy) to share this loving tribute to Bayos with his fans. More » -
defamer
Billion Dollar Director Brett Ratner: His Party Machine Is Fueled By Ben Franklins
"He's out there too much, too publicity-conscious," Evans says. "It hurts him. He should be more legitimately accepted and praised for his work as an artist instead of being seen as a flamboyant butterfly. He lacks mystery; directors far less capable are embraced by actors because of their mystery."—from "Ratner Boasts Box Office Prowess," Variety, July 30, 2007, Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day. More »
defamer
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Mon Jul 6
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