This Week In Tabloids: Ashton Cheats On Demi

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I tip the celebrity weeklies after gorging on gossip. This week, when Shiloh isn't tearing Brad and Angie apart, she's clawing at Zahara. And Ashton totally made out with some blonde. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: John Travolta Has 102 Hairpieces

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we roll around in the dirt dug up by In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Ok! and Us. This week: Pixelated blobs at the True Blood wedding! Travolta's weave fridge! Spiced Hamm sandwich!!! [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Hilary Duff Lets A Tabloid Crash Her Wedding

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" the celebrity weeklies so you don't "have" to. Thank Zeus Hilary Duff got married, or all we'd have to talk about would be Kardashian asses and Tom Cruise's SNEELS. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina's Topless, Heroin-Fueled Photos

Welcome to Midweek Madness! In today's tabloids, we see nude photos of Ms. Jolie, learn Katie Holmes is pregnant again, and discover Lindsay Lohan's a "crybaby" who's figured out a way to cut herself while deprived of sharp objects. [Jezebel]

Brad Pitt to Defend His Army of Children from Army of Undead

He's going to war. Z war! Also today: that Barefoot Bandit kid gets his own feature film written by a hottie boombalottie, old grampa Disney needs some help from its hip and popular grandkid, and some Dragon Tattoo casting news. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Tom's Daughter Hates Katie, Is Moving In With Nic

Today in Midweek Madness, celebs feel the sting of having an ungrateful child: Tom Cruise's daughter hates him, Mel Gibson turned his kids into drug addicts, and Sarah Palin isn't speaking to Bristol... because Alaskans don't own cell phones. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad's Looking For Jen; Mariah Buys Cinderella Crib

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. This week, the celebrity tabloids taught me and Margaret that if you see a man in the back of a chauffeured SUV, looking glum and sipping beer from a bottle, that man is Brad Pitt. [Jezebel]

Brad Pitt Leaving Angelina to Go Hunt Man-Eating Tiger in Siberia

That is exactly what he is doing. Just not in real life. Also today: A Sunny favorite lands a big role, a movie about a human teenager has a casting shuffle, and no more Sarah Silverman. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Sandra's People Shoot Involved Jesse; Hollywood Housekeepers Spill Dirt

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Today in our weekly tabloid taste-test, we found gossip both delicious and vile: Sandra Bullock's baby shoot for People involved Jesse James! Brad Pitt is a hoarder and a slob! Heidi Montag loves/hates her implants! [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Jen Seen Kissing; Whitney Houston On Coke

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I snuggle up to gossip from In Touch, Ok!, Us, Life & Style and Star. Brad and Jen definitely kissed inside her Bentley — why else would it be repeated thrice? [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jesse's Hitler Pose & Foursome; Angie's Kids Call Her "The Dragon"

Every Wednesday, we do Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I sample the flavors in the weekly gossip tabloids. This week: Jesse James poses as Hitler and has a foursome with someone named Skittles. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Sandra's Husband Had An Affair; Justin Might Be Cheating On Jessica

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I judge Star, In Touch, Us, Life & Style and Ok!. This week: Sandra Bullock's husband is having an affair; Jen's getting artificially inseminated and Tinsley Mortimer is a hair model! [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Tom Forcibly Impregnates Katie

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we suffer through cuddling up to the decrepit old weekly tabloids, so you don't have to. This week: Katie Holmes is so distracted with being knocked up that Suri's going without shoes. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina's Rough Sex With Ralph Fiennes & Shiloh's Harmful Haircut

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where you'll find answers to burning questions. Like: Is Angelina using Shiloh to challenge gender norms? Is Mary-Kate Olsen hooking up with Sam Ronson? What would Brad Pitt look like if he'd been in Avatar? [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Lady Who Sold Gelato To The Jolie-Pitts Tells All

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we sample the flavors of Star, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Ok!. This week, the only name you need to know is Beatrice Zennaro. She's the luckiest lady in the world! [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie Fake It While Jen & Gerard Make It

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where Brad & Angie absolutely positively cannot win. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angie Has "Claws" In Johnny; Taylor Swift Sleeps In Mayer's Suite

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where the stars have been busy! Angelina's plotting a vodka/pill suicide and simultaneously seducing the Depp; Taylor Swift is hooking up with John Mayer, and Reese Witherspoon's sleeping with Gerard Butler. Exhausting! [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie Sorta But Not Really Over; Depressed Britney Looks Like A "Bum"

Welcome back to midweek madness. Brad & Angie news: They've split, except they haven't. He had a rendez-vous with Jen, or he didn't. He maybe drunk-dialed Jen, then had make-up sex with Angie. And! The purpose of the beard, revealed. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina & Other Choosy Moms Choose Life, Meaning Babies

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where it's ALL BABIES, ALL THE TIME. Even though Angelina has a "baby bump," her relationship with Brad's on the rocks! But that's nothing compared to what's up with 16-year-old Ali Lohan, poor baby. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: John Mayer Breaks Up The Taylors & Jersey Shore Films A Sex Tape

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we forage for gossip in the tabloids' garbage. This week: Elin "eats her way through the pain," John Mayer hits on Taylor Swift, and the Jersey Shore kids film themselves "pounding it out." [Jezebel]