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trade roundup
Nothing Is Scarier than Ballet or the Internet
We have news from around the world today, but mostly from Foxborough and Australia. Two places both alike in dignity, but then suffering complete indignities like American Idol and movies about teenagers who save the world. More » -
comings out
Adam Lambert: Gay As He Wanna Be
The most ludicrous American Idol contestant ever, Adam Lambert, has finally come out of the closet. In a cover story for Rolling Stone! All of America's gay boo-boos are now healed, or something. More » -
rants
Adam Lambert Is Hurting Gay America
You know what, Adam Lambert? Just can it with the coy shit. Everyone knows the American Idol second-placer is a big ol' homo from Fruitington Corners, but in every goddamn interview the lurching behemoth always says things like "keep speculating..." And I wish he'd just man up and step out.
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america's pastimes
A Nation Shrieks for Poor, Defeated Adam Lambert
On this season of American Idol, Adam Lambert—the bouffanted gay one—was supposed to defeat Kris Allen—the cartoon-faced strummer. But he didn't. And so many people were horrified, as evidenced by this fabulous listicle of YouTube reaction-freakouts. Above is our favorite, in which a young man gets snappy. -
scandal
AT&T's American Idol Vote-Rigging Conspiracy
The voting machines were tampered with! By "voting machines" we mean the mindless finger-dialers from Arkansas who were tricked by the nefarious AT&T syndicate into voting for, successfully, Miss Kris Allen, the straight white corn boy who defeated, in an upset, gay Frankenstein. The New York Times now cries foul.
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catfights
Clay Aiken Trashes American Idol, Adam Lambert
Last night millions of American Idol fans tuned in to watch the show's season finale. But you know who didn't?—-Clay Aiken, who basically trashed everything about Idol today on the subscription-only message board of his website, going so far as to say Adam Lambert made his ears bleed!
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state of the union
It Doesn't Really Matter That Fewer People Are Watching American Idol
There's much hissing about American Idol's swandiving numbers—lowest finale ever! down 10% from last year, which was already low!—but in this modern world, it's really nothing to worry about. (Or, if you hate Idol, to get excited about). Idol is still winning where it counts. More » -
recaps
The American Idol Finale: Everybody Loves Kris
Well, that's it. After all this tumbling and mumbling and Kara bumbling, the eighth and most bespangled season of American Idol yet has come to a screeching, crooning end. How'd it end for you? Are you satisfied? Surprised? Gassy? To work through all these emotions and sensations, let's discuss. More » -
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recaps
American Idol: Guy Next Door vs. Guyliner
Oh Ryan, you master of the turn of phrase. Clever little frosted minx. I'm gonna miss you when they pack you back up into your E! radio locker and I don't get any of you until next January. Sigh. The last competition night of the year! It was... just aight. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Victory Over the Dan
Have you ever had an angel burp on you? Ever felt the soothing hand of God as He gives you a purple nurple? If not, then you didn't watch American Idol last night. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Unholy Trinity
Three is a number steeped in magic and myth—the three fates spinning our doom, the three versions of Jesus (dad, son, creepy ghost), the three bears. And now, the three Idol men. Heroes all. More » -
night terrors
Can American Idol Ever Be Stopped?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: Sorta. The New York Times ponders the important question today, as the singing competition show's ratings drop but its revenues continue to skyrocket. More » -
recaps
God Damn American Idol
Are you happy with yourselves, America? Satisfied yet? This is what you wanted, right? A bunch of thick, charmless white guys for your Top 3? Well you got it! More » -
recaps
American Idol: YAAAAAAGGGHAHGH!!!
Richard is... dead, maybe? Richard is in heaven, with Barack Obama's mom and Danny Gokey's wife. Either that or France. Regardless, he did not watch American Idol last night. But we did! More » -
recaps
The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony in American Idol History
That's how you do Idol! I mean, that's how you do it. Manufacture "surprises" so people will keep watching a full hour of television that should only take five minutes. Did your jaw drop? More » -
recap
American Idol: To Inanity, and Beyond!
The Top 5! Rat Pack croony swoony songs! What a magical combination. Oddly, I don't mean that entirely sarcastically. There was some good sing-sangin' on Idol last night, mostly from my long-term two favorites. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Disco Ain't the Only Thing That's Dead
Oh American Idol Season Eight. You're showing your age. Two more dreamers were sent packing last night, they were—just by coincidence probably!—the two most conspicuously brown of the bunch. Obama Era nothing, huh? More » -
recaps
American Idol: Disco? Balls.
So Disco Night happened on American Idol. Everyone still with us? Ten toes, ten fingers? All right, good. We made it. That wasn't so bad, was it? I mean, it could have been much worse. More » -
recaps
The Most Important American Idol In History
The fuck? The long-threatened veto was finally exercised last night. On Lil! Wait, no. On Gokey! Oh, hm, not that either. On Matt Giraud. Really, Irdol? A season's worth of build-up for... Matt Giraud. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Sit Back and Relax, Enjoy the Schmo
Forget you, Sasha Frere-Jones. The hip hipster face of music appreciation is now Quentin Tarantino. The onetime Idol guest judge was a Mentor to the kids last night. With, you know, predicatably disastrous results. More » -
breakdowns
The 5 Types of American Idol Watchers
Junk-haus auteur Quentin Tarantino is a guest judge on American Idol tonight, for the second time. He's an unabashed, earnest fan of the show. It got us thinking. What kind of people watch Idol? More » -
recaps
American Idol: I Trust You Can Show Yourself Out, Scott
OK. Let's just get it out of the way: Didn't see that one coming! OK. That's over. Now, let's go on and discuss the elimination of Scott and hopefully not make any more terrible jokes. More » -
recaps
American Idol Has Dreams In Which It's Dying
What's so amazing that keeps us wannabe-stargazing? I mean, really. What is so amazing? This season is so bland and undercooked. And yet I keep trudging back, grumbling away week in, week out. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Rest of Megan Joy
Oh April Fools' Idol! You had no fooling. It was a traditionally brusque and quick and not-at-all-time-wastey affair, straight and to the point. Ha ha! April Fools! It was long and boring and stupid. More »CorkeryIs Eliminated -
recaps
American Idol: Please Don't Play That Funky Music, White Boy
It was Top iTunes Downloads night on Idol! That means modern, hip, fresh songs, right? Songs like "Play that Funk Music White Boy" and "Surrender". Wait, what? Where's the Leona Lewis? More » -
recaps
American Idol: Motown's Just a Fancy Name for Detroit
I think Motown is my least favorite of the Idol theme nights. The songs have all been sung too many times, they almost always sound dated, and it's racially embarrassing. Last night was no exception. More » -
trade roundup
The Heart Wants What It Wants
A kiddie update gets a release date, lawsuits are filed, quirky indies are cast with cult fave actors, Michael from The Wire joins the war effort, and people are watching Gary Unmarried. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Pre-Owned Alexis, For Sale, Cheap
Well, that was unexpected. On last night's Idol elimination episode, twasn't Scott (as I predicted) or Anoop (as some of you did). It was blondie Alexis who went home. Wha' happened? More » -
recaps
American Idol: Murdering Johnny Cash for Fun and Profit
Country week is often the worst Idol theme night, because belting black ladies and barn-burning rocker grrls and fey dancepixie gays have a hard time twanging. This year's version went... actually, kinda OK. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Two More Contestants Found Murdered
So the judges now have one magical veto they can use just once. Deal with it, America! They didn't use it last night, though. So poor Jasmine Murray and Gloria Estefan were sent home, weeping. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Contestants Step Out of the Shadows, and Into More Shadows
And so the final 13 begins. With both bangs and whimpers. There were some pleasant surprises (go Kris Allen!) and some predictable disappointments (fail, Danny Gokey). Let's discuss further after the jump. More » -
recaps
Exalted and Merciful American Idol Gods Grant Four More a Stay of Execution
The Wild Card round was decidedly not wild last night. We sorta knew that Anoop and Jasmine would go through, and Megan Joy wasn't exactly a surprise either. But that last one actually was! More » -
recaps
American Idol Crashes into Grain Silo, Millions Killed
The show that has entertained millions for so long has finally died, in this its eighth year. We mourn those who've been killed in this tragedy, and celebrate those who managed to escape it. More » -
recaps
Which American Idol Would You Want to Go Shopping With?
Last night was the last round of non-Wild Card semifinals of this, the eighth unending season of American Idol. A weird kid soared, one lady roared, and something called Lil' Rounds was fellated. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Gay Old Adam Gets His 'Satisfaction'
As predicted, two of my American Idol predictions were wrong in last night's semifinal eliminations episode. Cuteso Kris Allen is through, as I'd hoped, as are Allison (good!) and shrieking Adam Lambert (very, very bad). More » -
recaps
How to Win the Chicks On American Idol
This was quite possibly the dullest episode of American Idol in recent memory (and that's saying something!!! blah-blah) But at least there were cute boys! Well, one in particular. But the singing? Ick. More » -
Idoling
The First Eliminations Are the Deepest
So who's still watching American Idol? Did you like that quick, nasty cutthroat semifinal elimination round yesterday as much as I did? It was so fast and bloody. Let's take a look at the mess. More » -
scheduling
Lost faces a new villain: permanently rescheduled American Idol. [THR]
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scaryoke
Idol Producers Letting Their Freak Flag Sag
American Idol prelims are over. Thank ye gods. But what about some of those choices, huh? Why are they making the weirdos and duds so easy to spot this time around? We need more mystery! More » -
american idol
'Idol' Judges Torn Between Attractiveness And Talent
In case you were worried that American Idol had somehow lost its dehumanizing edge over eight seasons, and that there was perhaps some small chance that its castaways won't end up on Celebrity Rehab—fret not. More »


































































