It's Wednesday, so this is Midweek Madness, our tabloid roundup. Star was the only rag without Michael Jackson on the covers this week, maybe hoping people prefer "Beach Bodies" to untimely death? Step inside for more weeklies, after the jump.
Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf might be boning, Whitney Port has a new fake boyfriend, Britney Spears dyed her hair and is sporting a ring, Bradley Cooper put Jennifer Aniston in the friend zone and Leo DiCaprio's shoes got stolen.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness! It's been a long time since every single magazine had a different main image. Inside? Mostly the same old bullshit. We did learn new details about Angelina's babies, Aniston's date and a Gosselin tell-all book.
Someone is shopping a tape of Leighton Meester boning an ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson gets hit by a cab, Jennifer Garner tries to breakup Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith, Susan Boyle goes bonkers again and Beyonce screws over a club owner.
Elle is letting LiLo off the hook over the jewels everyone seems convinced that she stole, two cops try to blackmail Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick, Mariah Carey will star in a London play and Justin Timberlake loves tequila shots.
Brian Graden, a veteran programming executive at youth culture battle-axe MTV, has thrown in the towel after twelve years. In his goodbye memo to staffers, forwarded to us, Graden mentions an as-yet-unexplored dream: To do musical theater. Adorbs.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we learn that Britney's engaged; Kate's a distracted mom and The Hills makes you bulimic.
Jada Pinkett Smith says she and Will like to bang in other people's homes, Victoria Beckham has her third boob job, Nicole Ritchie breaks up Lohan and Ronson, Owen Wilson still loves Kate Hudson, and Judd Apatow sucks in bed.
Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup:
The new Entertainment Weekly features a cover interview with Megan Fox. The loose-lipped star has demonstrated a knack for being quotable in the past. Here, we collect some of her more memorable remarks over the course of her short career.
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