Suburban father Ryan Reynolds is working through some of the typical challenges new dads face, like having to cut ties with a lifelong friend who tried to sell private family photos of Reynolds and Blake Lively in the delivery room with their daughter. Just dad things.

Minivan Wilder told GQ that he had been close pals with this snake-in-the-grass since childhood, making the betrayal that much harder to bear:

“A guy that I’d known for my whole life, one of my closest friends growing up, he had been shopping pictures of my baby around. I kind of got in front of it, which is good. But it was a slightly dark period. A bad couple of weeks.”

The culprit was easy to find, as Reynolds and Lively had only sent their baby photos to a select group. Remember, this is the couple that refused to release their daughter’s name—it was James—for more than a month after her birth. They weren’t sending delivery room selfies to just anyone. Just, like, their closest family and closest friends.

“They’re just, like, my closest family and my closest friends,” Reynolds told GQ.

See? I told you. But one of those close friends apparently needed money more than he needed the love and trust of America’s most beloved gender-neutrally-named family.

“Were you like, ‘Next time you need a check, just ask’?” GQ’s Zach Baron asked. A reasonable question, but no. Ryan Reynolds was not just like that, because his bad friend had worn his patience and wallet thin.

“Well, I think he’d asked for a check enough times where I was like, ‘There’s no more checks to be had,’” Reynolds explained.

Like many a suburban father: Tough, but fair.

His bad friend’s punishment is to become a bad ex-friend, never to be seen by, spoken to, or named in a GQ interview by Ryan Reynolds again.

“Oh, well, now I’m never going to see you or talk to you again, unfortunately,” Reynolds said to the anonymous traitor.

And that’s kind of how it worked out. Right, Ryan?

“That’s kind of how it worked out.”

Sucks, dude.

[h/t Time, Photo of the soulful eyes into which the vile betrayer will never again gaze, sorry: Getty Images]