Read Nikki Finke's Predictably Absurd and Scathing Comeback Letter

Nikki Finke, the longtime Hollywood journalist equally feared and hated by much of the film industry's elite, broke her seven-month hiatus today with a letter announcing her return to the internet at NikkiFinke.com. The letter is—as it always was going to be—a tour de force.

Finke became known for breaking news in Hollywood, with little regard for burning sources, in an LA Weekly column called "Deadline Hollywood." That begat a blog called Deadline Hollywood Daily, which eventually grew into a full-fledged website, which she sold to Jay Penske of Mail.com for $14 million in 2009. That relationship, to the surprise of basically no one, went south pretty immediately.

She was forced out in October of last year, and now that the non-compete clause in her contract has expired, so Finke says, she is back. The first order of business is announcing her return in typical fashion.

Here she is on the subject of her logo:

Because I'm posting on my own website after sitting out my non-compete for 7 soul-crushing months. And that's why I designed my new logo to look the way it does – gritty and bullet-riddled with a fiery palm tree shooting sparks into the night sky more dramatically than any fancy klieg light.

I mean, sure.

There's also this completely incomprehensible metaphor:

Now a few rules for the road. Expect the unexpected. Everything could (and should) change as this adventure grows and gets funded. But for now, my new website is built like a fine Ferrari only I'm still missing my vintage Volvo. I've just taken possession of this really cool powertrain but at the moment I barely know what's under the hood. Let's learn to drive it together.

Plus the horrible puns.

I want to be your cruel and quirky alternative to Deadlame and Valiety and The Hollywood Unreported and TheCrap.

Nikki :-/

Anyway, definitely read the whole thing.

Soon, she'll break some news. Presumably.