"I truly harbor no ill will towards that hairdo of Ellen's, but everytime I see her all I can think is 'I let my long-lost twin sister cut my hair, so how long do I have to endure this dreadful summer camp before I can hightail it to foxy Brian Keith's ranch in Carmel?'"
"If someone interrupts "Beverly Hills 90210: The Soundtrack" at one of my parties, they will immediately be asked to vacate the premises.
Jeremy Jordan!"
"[To friend on the phone] And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant OR herpes.
[pause]
Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right?
[pause]
[incredulous] A BLACK GUY?"
icallthebigonebitey
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