Benedict Cumberbatch Allegedly Has a Girlfriend Now (Not You)

"It's only a matter of time before Benedict is mine," you think, scrolling through Sherlock photos on Google Image. "Will I keep my job once we're married? Sure, for a while. A lighter workload, though, and I'll telecommute whenever we're away. 'Ben's work is taking us away again,' I'll say, coyly, but everyone will know. I'll be the talk of the offi—" Ah, so sorry to interrupt, but he has a girlfriend now!

In a Page Six story about Masterpiece Theatre producer Rebecca Eaton, the bulk of which is about how she shared a story at the Cannes Lions festival about President Barack Obama almost stepping on Elizabeth McGovern's dress, it is stated that—deep breath—Eaton let it slip that Benedict—your Benedict!—is currently unavailable:

That might also explain her other job: helping British hottie Benedict Cumberbatch find a new love interest. She wouldn't say whom the "Sherlock" actor has met, but she said it's time for all those "Cumberbitches" — the name used by his huge base of female followers — to move on.

Sadly, it is not explained how Benedict Cumberbatch finding a girlfriend fell under the umbrella of her responsibilities, and this is all of the information given about Cumberbatch's alleged girlfriend. What is she like? Boring? Not too great, maybe he could do a little better?

"What is meant to be will be," you say with a sigh, closing the Google Image tab.

"I'll see you soon, my love."

[image via Getty]