Before you ask—and not that you were going to (Why would you, because she's O.K.)—Jennifer Aniston is O.K. SHE'S FINE. I don't see what the big deal is, and Jen definitely doesn't see what the big deal is, not because she sometimes "fails to see things," but because she's good and fine. And if you should happen to read one or several interviews in which Jennifer Aniston sounds not O.K., maybe you need to take a moment and interview yourself about why you're always acting like people aren't O.K. and judging them, when they're telling you they're fine, and they're fine.
That being said, here are some things Jen has said in interviews with InStyle, The New York Times, and other outlets on her Oscar media campaign tour for her buzzy, serious role in the upcoming film Cake to make you go "Hmmm."
"And so what? You go up a size. What's the big deal?"
Jen recently started eating carbohydrates again, which is not a big deal to her. The re-introduction of carbs into her diet does not indicate that anything is "up" with Jen. "I've been allowing myself a lot more in the past few years," including pasta, she told InStyle. "[It] does make it harder to lose those last few pounds. But you have to live. And so what? You go up a size. What's the big deal?"
What's the big deal? Can she live? It's fine.
"I don't find [talking about my divorce] painful"
One of the many things Jennifer Aniston doesn't find painful is talking about her 2005 divorce from Brad Pitt, who is now married to Angelina Jolie. "I don't find it painful," she explained on CBS Sunday Morning.
Furthermore, Jen wishes the best for Brad. Not all the fucking time, of course—sometimes she thinks of other things besides what went wrong there and how well she wishes him—but they're fine. They're O.K. "We've exchanged good wishes and all that sort of stuff to each other, but not a constant thing," she said. "I mean, do you talk to your ex-wife?"
"[My fiancé] had no personality but he was very sweet"
"I was on vacation in Kauai with [David Arquette] and [Courteney Cox] and my friend [Mandy Ingber], who's also my yoga teacher..." began Jen. O.K., O.K., blah blah blah, fast forward. "I remember thinking, 'Isn't he hot?' But he was very hidden. As he says, for him, 'It's winter from the waist down no matter what season it is,' so he was wearing black jeans, combat boots, glasses, and a fedora."
Jen says that at the time she met Justin in 2008, she was "soooo single. But it was never [a romantic thing]. I just thought, 'What a lovely guy.' He was funny. But he was actually really quiet. I later came to find out that he was just exhausted because he had been writing nonstop, like a little hamster on a wheel. This was his one night off, and he had no personality, but he was very sweet and very overdressed."
He had no personality, he was very overdressed, he was winter from the waist down, he was a hamster, it was fine.
"It's a rock, I know."
Jen got what some might call a massive diamond ring when Justin finally proposed. 1) She knows 2) She didn't even want it because it's not her style, but 3) It's O.K.
I know you didn't ask, but she's more Indian jewelry and stuff, but it's fine.
"[My dead boyfriend] must have sent me Justin"
There has been much speculation as to why Jen and Justin, who became engaged in 2012, have not yet married. Jen told The New York Times that everything about not getting married yet is O.K., because her relationship is part of a cosmic path drawn for her by her ex-boyfriend who died of a brain tumor after she dumped him.
"He was my first love—five years we were together," she said. "He would have been the one. But I was 25, and I was stupid. He must have sent me Justin to make up for it all."
So it's all fine.
"When I'm pregnant and married, I will let you know, [not] Crapass Bullshit Times Weekly"
Yes, it has been roughly 30 months since Justin proposed to Jen, and no, they are not currently married, but that's O.K. When asked by InStyle to write her own tabloid headline about her current romantic situation, she responded, "Oh, that's a tough one. That should be a Justin question. Wait a sec. How's this? 'When I'm pregnant and married, I will let you know.' Not a tabloid publication. Not Bulls—t Times orCrapass Bulls—t Times Weekly. They will not be telling you."
She added, "And by the way, stop stealing my thunder! Let me have the fun of telling that story."
She just wants to have fun. Is that O.K.? Yes, because she's fine!
"I can't go underwater and no one will believe me"
I was a kid and I was riding this tricycle around a swimming pool and I drove my tricycle into the swimming pool and I didn't let go and my brother tried to [help me]. So, I can't go underwater and no one will believe me. I honestly can't.
No one will believe her no one will believe her no one will believe her.
[Images via Getty]