Australian supermodel and linchpin of the Bieber-Bloom sexagon Miranda Kerr was spotted “making out” with billionaire Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel, an adult frat bro, at a Venice Beach bar Saturday, US Weekly reports. She’s 32, and he’s an immature 25.

Just 6 years ago, Spiegel was engaged in “getting Pi Phis fucked up” and “fucking bitches getting leid,” emails from his Stanford days revealed. Hopefully this is something Miranda is apprised of before she decides whether to let him “put [his] large kappa sigma dick down her throat.”


Spiegel previously dated “reality” “TV” “star” Lucy Aragon, a Bachelor contestant, and did not date Taylor Swift. Kerr was previously married to Orlando Bloom, an elf who punched Justin Bieber in the face.

Bloom was spotted earlier this week kissing Brazilian actress Luisa Moraes, who, as far as I can tell, has never dated Justin Bieber or James Packer.

Oh, what a tangled sexagon we weave.

[Photo: Getty Images]