Lindsay Lohan, where did she go? To Heaven, maybe. There she floats, angel wings affixed to her small frame, dining with Joe Strummer. "What do you say, Joe?" she asks, "Fill up our plates?" They fill up their plates, once again, with delicious appetize—oh wait, nevermind. She's just still in London. And she's never coming back!

Lindsay Lohan is, of course, in London to perform in a production of David Mamet's Speed-the-Plow. But did you know that she has lived there for nine months, has a lease for another year on her flat in the West End, and never wants to move back to LA again? It's true. She explains to the Guardian, "I needed to grow up and London is a better place for me to do that than anywhere else." She continues:

"I won't live in LA again, hell no," she says. "My friends tell me shit when they come over I don't want to hear. I don't even know who got married and who got pregnant. You turn on the news in LA and it is all gossip about people. All the stuff that is going on in the world right now and this gossip is the news?" She laughs. "I love the BBC. I haven't heard myself mentioned on TV since I have been here. That has been really weird for me, and great."

We've lost our baby, friends. We've lost her and she hasn't heard herself mentioned on TV except for this moment I assume which is weird for her and she doesn't know who got pregnant or married and she's never coming back. We've lost her and it's our fault.

She's Lindsay London now.

[image via Getty]