With the upcoming release of her selfie book, Selfish, Kim Kardashian has been on the press circuit even more than usual (as if you hadn't already preordered nine copies of this thing). In a recurring Harper's Bazaar feature, Kardashian shares a rundown of an average Kim K day—and it doesn't sound fun at all.

All this b does all day is eat bland protein and vegetables!

People with money seem to be doing it wrong. When you're rich and famous, you should eat all the gourmet dinners a la carte (?) and quail eggs in truffle butter (?) that you want. Sure, exercise and healthy eating are essential staples to a long, happy life, but duck confit and unlimited breads slathered with rare jams sound better, if you can afford it. In her 24-hour diary that misleadingly only covers 17 hours, Kim does very little but talk about food. Keep in mind, this was not a food diary—only a diary of her day, all activities included.

She sounds hungry as hell.

At 8 A.M.:

I try to have breakfast really quick, before she's up, but I'm rushing and always checking the monitor. I'll usually have scrambled eggs or oatmeal, or a protein shake with fruit. Kanye loves to eat really healthy and is always on different diets. He has a chef who comes in the morning and cooks breakfast for both of us and gets our meal plans together for the day. We just started seeing a nutritionist who changes our diet every 10 days.

Breakfast is an important meal. Eat protein, this sounds fine. Scrambled eggs—delicious. Why not have some caviar or a lobster roll too? Why change your diet every ten days? Sounds crazy and stressful.

After an hour and a half of getting ready for filming, the occasional video chat with her niece and nephew, or having "three hour meetings with Sears," it's lunchtime:

1:00 P.M. I prefer to have the chef make my lunch because it'll be healthier. Lately it's been fish and vegetables, or chicken and vegetables, something like that.


An hour later, she's back to video chatting, which is very sweet:

2:00 P.M. I can't live without talking to my family. I'm obsessed with them. We're on group chats every single day—well, all the girls, for sure. I'm in London right now, and Kendall's in Milan, so we're almost in the same time zone. We're texting each other every second. And when the whole family wakes up, it's like a huge group chat every morning to see what everyone's doing.

But then she gets hungry again because she's done nothing but consume boring food all day:

3:00 P.M. If I need a sweet-tooth fix, I'll have those Justin's peanut butter packs; the almond butter is also really good. I'll just eat it plain. I used to drink a ton of iced tea, but I've cut back. I had the craziest addiction to Equal—I'd put 10 Equals in every iced tea. My sister Kourtney would always say, "You can't have that much sweetener!" I've trained myself to have just one iced tea a week, and I'm down to three Equals. I'm not really a coffee drinker. I like it, and I'll have some when I'm really jet-lagged, maybe once a month. I try to drink water. I think after you have a baby you want everything to be as pure as possible. I want to set an example and to be natural and healthy. It's a decision Kanye and I made, to see a nutritionist together. Also, I think anything could help if I'm trying to get pregnant.

Is this a casual bomb-drop that Kimmy is trying to get pregnant again? Maybe if she was pregnant, she'd be able to escape from the mundane food prison in which she is living:

7:00 P.M. For dinner, I have vegetables and fish or chicken, just like lunch. I don't really have cocktails or desserts—I mean, I wish! Haagen-Dazs is my biggest indulgence—their Dulce de Leche flavor is my favorite thing in life.

I mean, I wish!

This diary makes me very sad.

Image via Getty. Contact the author at dayna.evans@gawker.com.