If recent months have taught us anything, it’s that the Kardashians—a family whose daily comings and goings are documented more thoroughly than the Obamas’—are able to conceal secrets more securely than the most secret shadow branches of the C.I.A., until such time as TV ratings require their reveal. This week, the world learned that Kim Kardashian was pregnant. But when did Kim Kardashian learn that?
Every week, keen-eyed Kardashians scholar Mariah Smith uses paparazzi photos, gossip-blog coverage, the family’s own Instagram and Twitter accounts, and common sense, to investigate, and establish a detailed and accurate shooting schedule of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—laying bare the distorted timelines and manufactured plotline of America’s royal family. Welcome to Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors.
On Sunday Night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the A-plot was the Kardashian/Jenner kids wrapping up their Montana vacation; the B-plot was Kris Jenner following Kendall Jenner to Paris; the C-plot was Kim’s struggle to get pregnant; and the D-plot was everyone’s final night of happiness before realizing we could never slay like Caitlyn MF-ing Jenner.
In this recap we will refer to Caitlyn as Bruce, because this episode aired before she stunted on American civilization as we know it and officially slayed the game as Caitlyn. #LetsGo
The Montana Crew is still in Montana. Kim is lounging in bed when Khloe comes in to apologize about their fight the night before. Khloe doesn’t apologize for a specific thing, but instead asks Kim to apologize for what she said. Confused, Kim chooses to apologize for saying Khloe has bad style, but doesn’t commit to the apology when she criticizes the sweats Khloe is wearing. The outfits and glam on Kim and Khloe are the same ones we will see later this episode when they leave Montana, so we know that this was filmed on February 21, 2015.
Kim, Kourtney, and Jonathan play cards at their estate in Montana. Before getting down to a game of Gin, Kim recalls a Pictionary game she played with the entire Jackson family, “including Janet” when she was 15. She says she picked the word “angel” and she drew it so well that Jermaine and Janet immediately began jumping up and down and shouting out “angel,” winning them the point. Unfortunately for Kim, the other team saw the card and told her it was “angle,” not “angel.” Ever since then, Kim has had a “thing” about angel/angle. It’s not all sad though, since she was given the point out of pity. Silly, Jacksons!
The trio finally play a game of Gin, and talk about Scott’s anger issues/the almost car accident earlier that day (Episode 12, Scene 25). Kourtney says she spoke with Scott earlier, and that he feels horrible about getting so angry over the situation. Though, prior to that incident, Scott had been making a lot of progress with keeping his anger in check, Kourtney doesn’t seem too concerned with his abrupt back-slide into rage. Kim’s stroll down Name Drop Lane and Kourtney’s Gin win were filmed on February 20, 2015.
Jetsetter, Kris Jenner, touches down in Paris! It’s Paris Fashion Week, so of course Kendall Jenner is there as well. The two head to lunch. Kris smiles, asks questions, and tries to engage with her child, while Kendall looks off, avoids eye contact, and answers with single syllables. Kendall and Kris’ lunch was filmed on January 24, 2014.
Reeling from their crazy fun lunch, Kris Jenner and Kendall Jenner enjoy dinner in Paris. Kris compliments Kendall’s bangs in a recent Vogue spread, and Kendall huffs and puffs that contrary to what her text messages say, bangs are not her thing. Sensing Kendall’s agitation, Kris tries to steer the conversation away from Kendall’s non-existent bangs. In one of the saddest moments in KUWTK history, Kris asks budding supermodel, Kendall Jenner if she knows who Twiggy is. Kris, a woman who claims to have raised smart, able-minded, critical thinking, successful children, asks one of said children if she knows an icon within her field of work. Thankfully Kendall knows who Twiggy is, or, according to her hand motion, she knows the CliffsNotes version: eyelashes.
Like a moth drawn to an expensive flame, Kris just can’t let her kids be and they hate it. Kris tells Kendall that she’s excited for London Fashion Week, and this sets Kendall off. Kendall gets real emotional and tells her mom, “Let me miss you.” WOW. We need this etched out in a cursive font with a Lo-Fi Instagram filter, so we can re-post it with the tiny cough emoji to coyly grab the attention of our love interests. Kendall’s monologue about love, goodbyes, and the art of feelings was filmed on January 24, 2015, the same day she and Kris went to lunch in Scene 9.
The Montana Crew is still in Montana, and they all listen in on a phone call between Kim and her psychic, John Edward. He’s a close friend, and one of Kim’s advisors, so she calls to ask about her chances of getting pregnant. He tells her that she can’t stress about conceiving, but instead needs to visualize walking with a child and North playing with a younger sibling. John also tells Kim to focus on energy, and know that when the energy is right for Kim and Kanye to be that child’s parents, it will happen. Also, astrologically, the time has to be right. Kim’s psychic phone call was filmed on February 18, 2015.
The Montana Crew finally packs up and leaves Montana. Kim is in a rush to get out of the state because she has a very important doctor’s appointment scheduled to take place soon after they land in California. In the rush to get everyone out of the house and onto the plane, Khloe, Kylie, Kim and North leave ahead of the group.
Unfortunately, a truck passing them blows snow onto their SUV, which knocks the car onto black ice and sends it spinning into oncoming traffic. Thankfully for the future of KUWTKE, Khloe got control of the car and they skidded into a ditch and were safe. Everyone is shaken up, but Kim is far more emotional than her sisters. She calls Kanye and uses “I Statements” to tell him what happened in the accident and how it affected her. Kim says “our,” “we,” and “us” one time, and “North” zero times. Kim, we’re happy that you’re okay! Kim’s car accident was filmed on February 21, 2015.
At Kourtney’s house, Kourtney, Khloe, and Scott talk about breastfeeding other people’s children. Kim arrives with a (then) new bleach blonde look. Kourtney asks the group if they heard about Bruce’s upcoming surgery. Khloe makes a “yes” noise, and no one else responds. We assume it’s because the group is tuckered out from filming for five months, as this appears to be the final day of production on the first half of Season 10 for Scott, Kourtney, and Khloe; it’s the latest we’ve been able to date a scene featuring the three of them all season. This chat was filmed on March 13, 2015.
Kim visits her doctor, Dr. Rosen, to see how close she is to ovulating. She’s told that she’ll be ovulating in about 4 days, on a Saturday. Even though Kim is “over it” when it comes to stressing about getting pregnant, Dr. Rosen tells Kim to come back on Friday so that they can give her a trigger shot; 6 days after that, Kim can complete another round of IVF. Because Dr. Rosen is so thorough, we can confidently say that this filmed on March 17, 2015.
This was the first Tuesday of March that Kim was in Los Angeles with blonde hair. The Friday following was March 20, 2015, meaning that Kim would have gotten her trigger shot then, and that embryos would have been implanted on March 26, 2015, 13 days before Kim told Khloe she was pregnant on April 9, 2015 in Armenia (we see footage of that reveal in the teaser for the second half of season 10, not yet aired). Assuming Kim conceived on March 26, 2015, this would make her around 16 weeks pregnant—which would mean she’s likely looking at a December delivery. Kongrats, Kim! We are really looking forward to this!
Well, Dolls, turn up that Vitamin C and think of me at night. These past 13 weeks have been a blast and I can’t wait to share some more Kontinuity Errors with you later this month. Stay tuned to this space for more KUWCaitlyn Jenner’s acquaintances re-caps/updates on KUWTKE! #LetMeMissYou
Images via E!