Katy Perry continues to find new ways to wear very little clothing in the just released video of her women's empowerment anthem "Roar" today, and it is very, very bad. The track just knocked off not women's empowerment anthem "Blurred Lines" as Billboard's No. 1 single.
Things I have learned from the first music video I've watched since "Peaches & Cream" stopped topping the TRL countdown:
- Platinum blonde Chris Brown and his American dance crew haven't beat the Koreans in 15 years
- Oh wait that was just an ad for Battle of the Year
- Katy Perry is a very bad actress
- Katy Perry's boyfriend's first thought after a plane crash is to take selfies (don't worry, he dies quickly)
- Katy Perry spends exactly 0:00 seconds mourning his death
- Katy Perry is more concerned with brushing the teeth of crocodiles than she is her own survival in the wilderness
- Katy Perry's boobs stared an attacking tiger down and prevented her from being mauled to death
No amount of pomegranate lip stain and banana leaf skirts can save this video. Here's hoping the tiger comes back and eats her next.