Justin Bieber has a new pool and it's shaped like a horn? Or like an exclamation point as designed by Romero Britto? Or a pen as imagined by the set designer on Prometheus? Anyway, this pool is costing Justin Bieber basically your entire year's salary (if you're lucky) per month, and not to pile on the kid here, but damn is this pool wack.
There is the main image of the pool, which sits somewhere in the Hills. For the ability to use this pool—or piss in it, or jump in it with his sneakers on, or fill it with cough syrup, or cram models into it—young Biebervelli will pay a reported $59,000 per month.
The pool, from my vantage point, has one selling point: It is long. Some people may value length in pools, and it is certainly one attribute. But length alone does not make a pool worth $59,000. The pool also has a hot tub—it better—but it's shaped awkwardly and looks uncomfortable, as far as hot tubs go.
And that's it, really. What Bieber's new $59,000 per month pool does not offer is a convenient place to gather. It doesn't even offer something nice to look at, and itself cannot be looked at nicely. Infinity pools rarely get more boring.
It does have tile and a railing. It's a community pool bent out of shape and dropped into the backyard of a mansion that looks like a museum.
And, look, the rest of the grounds are nice. As someone with an affinity for modernism, I'm down with this.
Justin Bieber, for all his faults, has pretty decent taste in architecture. Last year he was reportedly eyeing music producer Dallas Austin's futuristic Atlanta home.
But right now he is stuck paying sixty racks for a pool that look like a long, rotten toenail.
Previously in Gawker Review of Pools:
[images of Beverly Hills home via Curbed, image of Dallas Austin home via Tuscany Luxury]