Did you know John Mayer has a multi-million dollar watch collection? Mayer, the kind of guy who probably refers to having sex with a woman as “getting snatch,” spoke with the New York Times about—you guessed it—watches. As if this guy couldn’t be more of a parody of himself—sensitive yet manly; sensual but horny; Steve Stifler with a Stratocaster and a chorus pedal—he also knows a thing or two about how to wear an item of jewelry whose only function is to tell you the time of day:

“John is something of a watch-nerd icon,” said Benjamin Clymer, the 32-year-old founder of Hodinkee, which features watch news and reviews catering to next-generation aficionados. “I think, in a lot of ways, John made it O.K. to really go deep into watches and not be embarrassed about it. I can’t tell you how many guys have come up to me at events and said, ‘My wife or girlfriend thought I was crazy for caring about watches so much, until I told her John Mayer was the very same way.’ ”

Women: still caring about John Mayer in 2015? A crude generalization, but let’s move on. Here’s what Mayer has to say about watches (I can’t believe we’re still talking about watches):

“I remember thinking — and this is a very important feeling — that I could go anywhere with this watch, because I couldn’t be lost,” he said. “I could get lost in Paris, but I had my watch. Now, on its face, no pun intended, it doesn’t make sense. All your watch does is tell the time. But why do you feel strapped? Why do you feel equipped?

“It would take a lot of poetry to explain it.”

Speaking of poetry, here’s a brief interlude to recall some lyrics from John Mayer’s 2003 hit song, “Daughters”:

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

So earnest and beautiful. Back to what is important—watches—and more specifically, the Apple Watch:

If, indeed, everyone is going to end up with the Apple, that may undercut a subtle joy of connoisseurship: the pleasure of belonging. “The watch community gets its power from being esoteric,” Mr. Mayer said. “We don’t want everybody to be involved in it.”

As the old adage goes, I don’t care to belong to a club that would have John Mayer as a member. Excuseme—I mean “Just John.”

For a celebrity who had grown weary of a life lived on TMZ.com, the watch community also offered escape. In that world, he was just “John,” a guy who loves watches.

Hey, John. I got a watch suggestion for you.

Contact the author at dayna.evans@gawker.com.