At some point in her life, half-limp side ponytail Jessica Biel decided to open a "kid-friendly" Los Angeles-based restaurant called—presumably on purpose—"Au Fudge." The "organic restaurant and bakery" is set to open on Melrose Avenue in May, but like all things in Jessica Biel's life, something about this eatery is just a little bit off.
Though Biel seems determined to make Au Fudge a place where children congregate—she called it "Soho House for kids" last year—the tone the Au Fudge Instagram account is decidedly adult, and frequently unhinged. Here is a selection of photos from the account, plus the captions the account manager (Jessica Biel? Her partner Estee Stanley? A lunatic with no official connection to the business but an overwhelming passion for Au Fudge?) chose to attach to them.
Its happening again!!! Get ready bitches for some delicious salads!!
And so on. Suck that #freshstrawberry #icecream out of that #cannoli. #spreadforbread. Get ready bitches. #filthy.
The "Great Ideas" section of People.com reports that after many months of agony, Biel and her business partner Estee Stanley got their commercial permits for the restaurant over the weekend. A source who seems uniquely invested in this particular Great Idea tells the site that Biel and Stanley have "run into the usual snags and delays any new restaurant owner has, but it looks like they're on track now." Au Fudge announced the permit news on Instagram, screaming:
Social media does not necessarily predict the success of a restaurant. Biel and Stanley could always find other ways to promote their business—for example, by taking out a backpage ad in their local alt weekly. One thing that does affect the success of a restaurant, however, is the absence of a chef—and the one Au Fudge hired has already quit. A rep for chef Vic Cassanova told People.com, "There are no hard feelings on either side, it was just the right decision at this time. He wishes them all the best!"
Casanova, it seems, was not ready to get fudged.
[Photos via Getty/Instagram]