Jamie Dornan, whose dick and balls look like a little bag of grapes, plays Christian Grey in the upcoming film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey. Matt Bomer, whose dick and balls look like I don't know what, does not play Christian Grey in the upcoming film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey.
I know—I'm yelling, too!
"The other day, this woman came up and started shouting at me, 'Matt Bomer's the real Christian Grey,' " Dornan says. "And I was like, um, okay."
At this point you might be confused. Is Matt Bomer, actor who was wonderful in The Normal Heart, the real Christian Grey? If so, why did he not take part in the 50 Shades of Grey documentary, forcing Jamie Dornan to take his place? Jamie Dornan goes on to clear that up:
"I mean, even if you cast Matt Bomer, or Alexander Skarsgård, or Charlie Hunnam, or any of those other guys—we'd all just be doing our best, you know? Christian Grey—he isn't a real person. He's a superhero—a myth. He's like Bigfoot! He's unbelievable. He's unattainable. There's no actor in the world who could live up to that."
Like Bigfoot and, I don't know, I can't think of anyone else, Christian Grey is not a real person. No one is him, as it turns out. So why not boring Jamie Dornan, who is doing his best?
Please stop yelling at Jamie Dornan.
He is doing his best.
[images via Getty]