To prepare for your weekend viewing of the surprisingly satisfying Jurassic World, you can either A) go back and watch Jurassic Park, or B) relive the 1993 classic through the intense, almost frighteningly detail-oriented mind of a kid. You can only choose one. Don’t fuck it up.
The dossier comes via a Scottish internet user who goes by @michaelmphysics. Michael recently posted a bunch of scans to imgur under the heading “The Jurassic Park Dossier.” His description reads: “I found a dossier I made when I was wee detailing my fictional job as a computer programmer at Jurassic Park. Seriously. Here are some highlights.” What follows is a series of sketches of dinosaurs, park plans, memos, arguments with himself, and biological drawings based not on science but his own terrifying whims. Spielberg wishes he could visualize in such detail.
This one’s my absolute favorite for its inclusion of the non-inflated model:
Michael’s caption on this “Velociraptor DNA Plan” reads: “I don’t have a clue what I based this on. Looks legit.”
Unfortunately, you’ll have to resist the urge to memorize this chart of dinosaur teeth—
—adult Michael reports that it is “completely fabricated.”
Interestingly, he in addition to stunning advances in the field of dinosaur resurrection, Michael also invented a boss with which he sparred firmly but good-naturedly:
There are seriously dozens more pages just like these. In another era, looking back, Michael could have felt like his hundreds of hours of hard work were a waste; the power of the internet makes that no longer so. This must be what it’s like to discover a mosquito preserved in amber that contains dinosaur DNA.