1) "Which hard-partying reality starlet is nearly bald after years of abusing hair extensions? The gal's actual locks are only 2 inches long!" [NYDN]

2) "What B- list movie and television comedy actor is currently having to reshoot many scenes from a recent movie. He has been doing so many drugs on his film that he has wildly different looks from one scene to the next depending on when it was shot. It has become so bad that more scenes are being written into the movie for other actors in an attempt to create a story without using many of our comic actor's scenes and story line." [CDaN]

3) "These two over-30 actors always appeared to be pretty happy together. As far as we know, both have worked steadily throughout their careers, neither has ever been to rehab, and they seem like good parents. Why are they suddenly having problems? Seems that our actor got a little too friendly with a cute extra on one of his recent film projects. He was spied in his trailer with the extra. Both at least partially undressed. In a horizontal position. He'll be lucky if he doesn't get kicked to the curb." [BlindGossip]

First, let's briefly recap what we and others have reported so far: The film was set to begin shooting last week. Five days before the start of shooting, director Steven Soderbergh turned in a rewrite of the original script, which was written by Steven Zaillian, that Sony executives, led by co-Chairman Amy Pascal, did not like. The studio felt that Soderbergh, who was insistent that every event in the film had to have taken place in real life, was taking the film in an "artsy" direction that they weren't willing to gamble $58-million dollars on, so they killed it. That's the short version of events according to Amy Pascal anyway.

Since then a few more details about the project emerged. Movieline and Deadspin provided some new information in reports of their own, and today the New York Times has an article that sheds some light on Soderbergh's zeal for authenticity.

One reason was to win the approval of Major League Baseball, which was not happy with some factual liberties in Mr. Zaillian's version. Such approval is crucial in a baseball film that intends to use protected trademarks.

"Typically, on a film like this, we look at it for historical accuracy," said Matthew Bourne, a vice president of Major League Baseball for public relations. "We've been in touch with Soderbergh and Sony, and they've been receptive to our requests."

What baseball saw as accurate, Sony executives saw as being too much a documentary.

All of this brings us to the information provided to us by a tipster who'd been working on the project and has a decidedly different point of view than that of Amy Pascal and Sony.

First and foremost, Soderbergh had been upfront with the direction in which he intended to take the film from the very beginning of his employment. In fact, it was clear to all of us - whether in the Art Department or the Costumes Department, etc. – that Soderbergh intended to use real people to play themselves in the creation of the true story of Moneyball. Additionally, for months Soderbergh had been shooting interviews with real ball players and people from Billy Beane's past, and the studio approved these shoots. How could the studio then at the eleventh hour claim that his approach was a surprise to them? He intended to tell the true story rather than a fictitious version of the story. How innovative.

What exactly is wrong with making a movie accurate? And since when does an authentic film translate as an "art" film? I know numerous people that thought that Soderbergh's approach sounded insightful and interesting and true to the game and what really happened. If baseball lovers and non-baseball lovers alike in my large social network felt this way (not to mention the hundreds of bloggers that were fans of the concept), why couldn't this approach have universal appeal?

Regarding the notion that Sony executives were shocked to discover the direction Soderbergh planned on taking the film:

Soderbergh's script dated June 17, 2009 was not the first script that he handed in to Sony. On June 7th, Soderbergh submitted a draft to the studio with the following note on the first page:

"NOTE: Scenes involving Billy Beane's minor and major league career have been removed from this draft. They will be determined by filmed interviews with scouts, coaches, managers, players and family members who were with him at the time."

Sony executives read this draft. And Sony executives gave Soderbergh their notes. Clearly Amy Pascal did not read this draft – if she had, maybe the drama that began with the June 17th draft could have been avoided.

Another fact: Soderbergh handed in yet another draft dated June 10, 2009 with this note on the first page:

"NOTE: Billy Beane's minor and major league career will be shown via filmed interviews with scouts, coaches, managers, players and family members who were with him at the time. These interviews will comprise approximately ten percent of the film.

"Another ten percent of the film will consist of re-enactments of real events as remembered by the people playing themselves. The purpose of these scenes will be to provide set-up and perspective for subjects, situations, or relationships which currently appear in the screenplay without the requisite/normal amount of context."

Now why in the world was Amy Pascal so shocked (or, rather, "apoplectic" as it was relayed to the production team) when she read the June 17th draft? Could Soderbergh have made his intentions any more clear? Even if these executives did not read beyond PAGE 1, they would have known the direction in which he wanted to take the film – and they should have perhaps reported that to their boss. And maybe, just maybe, if there had been communication with their boss, maybe, just maybe, another avenue could have been taken rather than pulling the plug three days before the film was supposed to start shooting. For instance, maybe they could have delayed principal photography while script/concept issues were resolved.

Our tipster closed with this note:

On the day that Amy Pascal pulled the plug, there were 230 people that were working on Moneyball. Now those 230 people are all out of jobs.

When Soderbergh had to address a stage filled with crew members who were about to lose their jobs, he told us that just as Moneyball was the unorthodox version of building baseball teams, Moneyball the movie was the unorthodox way of making a film. Unfortunately, Amy Pascal does not believe in Moneyball as a concept; otherwise the film would be in its second week of shooting right now.

So there you have it—Another side of the story. All of this is obviously meaningless in the grand scheme of life, not to mention very "inside baseball" (pun intended), but it's so damn fun to talk about. We anxiously await the next bit of backbiting to emerge between the Sony and Soderbergh camps.

Why Did Sony Kill the Pitt/Soderbergh Film Adaptation of Michael Lewis' Moneyball [Previously]
MLB Approval Still Murky as Moneyball Circles the Drain [Movieline]
Money Worries Kill A-List Film at Last Minute [New York Times]
Soderbergh's Moneyball Script Too Real to Get Made [Deadspin]
pic via Vulture

All night last we were giddy with anticipation thinking we'd definitely get an email from the wacky Charmaine Blake. Unfortunately, we did not. But a "dear personal friend" of hers, a Spielberg no less, did take the time to write in to inform us that some unknown evil goblin recognized Charmaine Blake as she was enjoying a tasty dinner last night with John Ratzenberger at Wolfgang Puck's Cut in Beverly Hills, which prompted the hellion to spring into action with a diabolical plot to destroy Charmaine Blake, expertly crafting a press release that just so happens to read exactly like something Charmaine Blake would write, based on what we've seen of her work, and then blasted it out to slew of press contacts that this rogue rascal just so happened to have laying around.

See for yourself:

From: MelissaSpielberg@aol.com
Date: July 1, 2009 2:07:05 PM PDT
To: melissa.spielberg@gmail.com
Subject: Media Alert: Celebrity News Retraction

To Whom if May Concern:

My name is Melissa Spielberg. I am a dear personal friend of Charmaine Blake's. Ms. Blake is very upset about the email that went out about her and John Ratzenberger having dinner last night. Apparently someone witnessed Charmaine Blake and John Ratzenberger having dinner at Wolfgang Puck's "Cut" in Beverly Hills last evening. Unfortunately, word leaked out and someone emailed a tip from a fictitious email address claiming to be Charmain Blake. The email address CharmaineBlakePR@aol.com and ExclusivePRFirm@aol.com do not belong to Charmaine Blake and have no affiliation whatsoever with Charmaine Blake. These emails does not exist and we sincerely apologize to everyone for this most unfortunate miscommunication.

Please be advised, if you received this email yesterday, you were being deceived.

Charmaine Blake and John Ratzenberger are very good friends and I hope everyone will respect their privacy.

Thank you for your kind understanding with this matter.

Sincerely yours,
Melissa Spielberg

Wow! Such are the perils of being "the most famous publicist" we suppose. Charmaine Blake's enemies are powerful and determined and will stop at nothing to destroy her. This is obviously the work of the Godless, child-raping David Letterman.

Charmaine Blake PR [Charmaine Blake PR]
Charmaine Blake's Blog [Charmaine Watch]

1. Went on date with Cheers actor; issued press release that went viral while on date. Not many publicists can claim that.

2. January 14, 2009: handled publicity for "Birthday Bash for Hollywood Publicist Charmaine Blake."

3. "First Publicist to ever put 'ED HARDY WATER' ON THE MAP"

4. May 10, 2008: "Launch of a personal underwater aircraft"

5. Domination of mindspace: "Charmaine Blake – What is she doing today? That is the question that Hollywood, Californians have in their minds from time to time."

6. Not being held back by her given name: "Fun is her middle name, but business is her fortay."

7. November 10, 2006: "the 1st Annual Read to succeed literacy gala. Honoring congress woman maxine waters and Lu Var Burton"

8. Diversity of skills: "Charmaine Blake is a famous publicist, who works hard for her clients and then plays hard."

9. Not a liar: "Charmaine Blake is getting famous from what she does and that is why we say that she is the publicist in the spotlight. She really is!"

10. "Professionalism"

There are whiffs of that sentiment coming off the reviews. Lisa Schwarzbaum at Entertainment Weekly says "Public Enemies re-creates clothes, but doesn't fully fashion the man who wore them." Which reads to us like the film is just another feat of stylish camerawork and deftly-applied new technologies (Enemies was filmed entirely in HD, for example). Schwarzbaum sends the film to critical no man's land by giving it a listless B-. What are we to do with a B minus?

There's no doubt that Mann is a supremely talented director—Manhunter is a plodding procedural picture that is probably the most adeptly faithful adaptation of Thomas Harris' often florid prose (Silence of the Lambs is too lovely and sad and mysterious and wistful—it's its own thing entirely). And Heat, well Heat is a crime movie to end all crime movies. There any dash of emotion and depth of feeling (thanks be to you, Diane Venora) was a welcome and surprising respite from what the film needed to be, which was grim and mechanical.

Manhola Dargis at the New York Times, one of our favorite film critics, gave Enemies a rave, but language like this still makes us worry:

The same holds true of "Public Enemies," which looks and plays like no other American gangster film I can think of and very much like a Michael Mann movie, with its emphasis on men at work, its darkly moody passages, eruptions of violence and pictorial beauty. Mr. Mann's digital manipulations, in particular, which encompass almost pure abstraction and interludes of hyper-realism, is worthy of longer exegesis, one that explores how this still-unfamiliar format is changing the movies: it allows, among other things, filmmakers to capture the eerie brightness of nighttime as never before.

See, there she is being dazzled by the same magicks that have left us feeling all dour and depressed after all of the most recent Mann pictures. Sure Collateral looked great, but where was the genuine tension, where was the human spark that should have made us care about Jamie Foxx's survival? Miami Vice had striking visual moments as well, but was otherwise cold as a fish flopping on a Key West dock. The whole "my partner got shot, oh my god" moments were swallowed up by Mann's turgid music, his gloomy, oppressive lighting. (And about that music. It's a semi-known fact that Mann is going deaf, but still insists on doing his own audio mixing.)

Lately we're worried that there really isn't anything else up Mann's sleeve but polished trickery. Public Enemies, what with the economy these days and all, could be a story of poor America bubbling over into revolt. And maybe it is! We haven't seen it! But from the ten or so reviews we've read, it sounds mostly the same as everything else. And yet he's still one of those few directors that thoughtful critics love to love. Because he shows them something gritty and dangerous and, most of all, cool, when most of the Good films they review these days are sparkling indies or message movies. Though it's not like there aren't other people making cannily-shot crime films—the sublime No Country for Old Men comes to mind. But there was something mysterious and existential and, well, deep at work in that movie that Mann has so far seemed unable to conjure.

What do you think? Can 66-year-old Michael Mann make a movie these days that's hinged more heavily on story and character than on technical craft? Do you care?

Image via Getty

OK!
"Tragic Death." The mag chose a cover image that some are calling "ghoulish" and a "disgrace," especially since Michael Jackson may already be dead in the photo. Some advertisers may be pissed and there's talk of a boycott. Inside you'll find a standard collage of old and new Michael Jackson photographs. Also inside: Kristen Stewart has dumped her boyfriend Michael Angarano, according to a source, which means she COULD date Robert Pattinson, but she doesn't want to rush into another relationship. YAWN. One spread in the "news" section is called "The Many Faces Of Johnny Depp" and is just pictures of characters he has played. News? Really?
Grade: F (pulled away by rip tide)

Life & Style
"Who Killed Michael." The headline inside is "Drugs, Anorexia and Missing Millions," and you'll find a typical sensationalist story: the family thinks drugs were being used to manipulate Michael; there might have been millions stolen from him; he kept saying that he owed people money and people would kill him if he didn't do the London concerts. On and on, bullshit. Moving on: Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler are "competing" for Jennifer Aniston. During a late night shoot on Bounty Hunter, Jen was getting really "chatty" with Gerard, and a source says "Gerard was getting really close to her on the escalator." Um, it's an escalator. How far apart can two people be? Also, Gerard is "just like" Brad Pitt because they "wear similar hats," "they love their bikes," they've got great bodies," and they both wear aviator sunglasses. In a story about how Kate Gosselin might raise her kids alone, there's a sidebar on Jon Gosselin, in which the magazine spells his name with an H (we circled it in yellow for you) and prints the headline, "John Trades The Kids For Booze, Money And Women." (Fig. 1). Kendra Wilkinson had "wedding dress drama" when days before the ceremony, she discovered that her dress didn't fit! Her boobs were too big, because she is three months pregnant, "I had to get my whole dress redone," she explains. Britney Spears would like her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick to move in with her at the end of her tour. Jacqueline of RHONJ clears up what Caroline was accusing Danielle of doing to Dina in the reunion special, saying: "Danielle was trying to harm Dina by giving her ex-husband a phone number that might give him leverage in the custody of their daughter Lexi." Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be "taking a break" since they have not been photographed together since May 31 and a source says, "I think they might be over." Robert Pattinson's aunt speaks to the magazine and says: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star with their every move being watched, just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?"
Grade: D- (jellyfish sting)

Star
"52 Best & Worst Beach Bodies!"
Some of the "best" include 15-year-old Ali Lohan, perennial fave Kim Kardashian, and Julia Roberts. Worsts? Kate Gosselin, Stephanie Seymour and Helena Christensen — the latter two have cellulite. Moving on: According to this magazine, Janet Jackson should get the kids because Katherine Jackson is too old and "it's what Michael would have wanted." Although the cover says "Janet Fights For Michael's Kids," it appears to be a lie — there is no information ANYWHERE indicating that Janet has gotten involved or wants the kids. Next: Justin Ross Lee, "an up and coming Facebook celebrity," sat next to Ashley Olsen on an airplane, took pictures of her sleeping and apparently sold the story to Star. It's a Star "exclusive." Disney Star Selena Gomez has a mole on her chest and if the 16-year-old star tries on a dress with a neckline low enough that the beauty mark can be seen, her mom nixes it. Says the mom: "I'm on constant mole patrol." James Haven — brother of Angelina Jolie — has a license plate which reads "Shilloh," because that was his nickname as a kid. Angie named her daughter after him, in a way. Lindsay Lohan went to get a manicure and had no cash on her, and no credit cards; she let another customer pay the bill for her. Blind item! "Which funnylady is a fan of those funny-smelling cigarettes? Tongues were wagging when she showed up half-baked at an industry dinner in L.A. on June 19th." In an interview with Robert Pattinson's exes, we learn that he was "amazing" in bed and that his first girlfriend now works in a slaughterhouse in New Zealand. Kevin, the ex-husband of RHONJ's Danielle Staub, claims that Danielle brought up "the book" to producers before the show. After she made the plea deal so she wouldn't go to prison, she started receiving anonymous threatening phone calls — possibly from the drug dealers she'd ratted out — and was talking about maybe going into the witness protection program.
Grade: D (mangled and tumbled by six foot waves)

In Touch
"Gone Too Soon."
To accompany this classic, retro cover straight out of 1984, there are two long stories about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, PLUS A PULL-OUT POSTER with Michael on one side and Farrah on the other. Margaret is totally hanging it in her locker. (Fig. 2a, 2b) Also inside: Lindsay Lohan wears $2,165 ripped jeans. (Fig. 3). Madonna and Mercy look cute together! (Fig. 4). Did Stephanie Pratt have a nose job (Fig. 5)? Is Britney "unraveling" again? Recently she went shopping and changed her outfit in every store. Then, in London, she "tearfully shut herself into a closet" and "her assistant had to coax her out by promising to buy her tacos." Kate Gosselin is "flabby" now that the divorce is getting to her. Or wearing a different cut of bathing suit? Bradley Cooper is "going to break Jen's heart" because the night before their date, we was out with Lake Bell and "had his hands all over her legs." Check out Style Network star Ruby's "first fashion shoot" ever, on page 85 (Fig. 6). Lastly, a spider monkey named Coco announces that she likes bananas, grapes and swings, and is the 4th of the Girls Next Door (Fig.7).
Grade: C (sunburn)

Us
"His Final Days."
Margaret says this is the best Michael Jackson story she has read all week. Instead of the recapped/CNN stuff the other magazines are printing. The mag talks to Michael's former bodyguard, who says that MJ was often over-medicated and "I would have to literally lift him up and carry him back to the car or back to his room." Michael had a fall-out with his former best friend, illusionist Uri Geller, because Geller tried to tell him he was taking too many painkillers and anti-depressants — Michael couldn't accept someone confronting him, because he's used to getting his way. A family source says that Michael's usual schedule was to sleep until late in the afternoon and stay up all night, but when he started rehearsals for the tour, it "totally screwed up his system." He started using stimulants in order to get up early for the rehearsals. There's another story in the mag about Michael's "Life As A Dad" with tons of previously unseen pictures of his kids. Plus, there's deep insight as to what the kids' lives were like. Sources say the kids were very intelligent and fairly normal. Michael would get down on his knees on the floor and change Blanket's diaper. Michael made a big deal out of Christmas, because growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, he wasn't allowed to celebrate. But a photographer says that his wacky behavior did affect the kids: He was paranoid that someone was trying to poison the kids, and at hotels, there would be a long list of stuff they couldn't eat. When they stayed in fancy hotels, Michael would go in and baby-proof everything — like go in and put cardboard and tape on all sharp edges of the furniture. The kids were home-schooled in a classroom at Neverland that had blackboards, textbooks and desks, and the children had to wear matching uniforms to school. They had instructors, but Michael also handled some of the lessons: He taught them African-American history, music and art. There's also information on the biological father of the kids, dermatologist Arnold Klein. Plus: Did you know that Katherine Jackson and Joe Jackson don't live together? She lives in L.A. and he lives in Vegas. Also inside: Kanye West has been interning at the GAP's offices in NYC. "He works all the time, and one Friday night recently, he stayed until 12 am. He's learning the fashion business from the inside and trying to do it quietly." Jennifer Garner hates Ben Affleck's ex, Gwyneth Paltrow! She's annoyed that Gwyneth sends her kids to Violet's school… but only for a few weeks a year, which "messes up the dynamics of the class." Lastly, there are six pages of "official photos" from Kendra Wilkinson's wedding — she was bumped off the cover by the death of MJ. Margaret found the wedding, which took place at the Playboy Mansion, to be a "shockingly classy affair." Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt were among the bridesmaids, and Hef and his three new girlfriends were in attendance. Hef danced with Kendra to "As Time Goes By." Fatherly!
Grade: B- (sand in crotch of swimsuit)

Fig. 1

Fig. 2a

Fig. 2b

Fig. 3

Fig. 4

Fig. 5

Fig. 6

Fig. 7

The new GQ has a story about Bruno, of course, cause what other stuff is happening this month? So they did a photo shoot of the gay-like character with an LA high school football team, and even paid the school a cool $500 for the privilege of handling their young men. Now the principal's in trouble!

"Rules were broken. The principal is ultimately responsible, but I also hold accountable the athletic director, who is also the school's filming coordinator and was present when the pictures were taken," [the head of the school district] said.

"I also want parents to know that this district will allow no one to take advantage of our students."

You know those boys liked it, heh, [MACHO]. Pretty dumb controversy considering the kids got permission slips and everything. GQ declined to give us a comment, although they did make sure we had a copy of the picture, so they must be pretty upset about the whole thing! Thanks, GQ!

Everyone loved Steven Zallian's version (he's an Oscar-winner, you know!), because it had jokes and snappy dialogue and actually made sabermetrics non-mind numbing. But Soderbergh wanted realism so much, he was determined to only film events that took place in real life. He also scrapped the conceit of having Bill James as the "Greek chorus", bookending the film with his anecdotes with and wise old man stories. The verdict:

That might make for an intriguing art film, but it clearly was no longer a film that any studio would spend $58 million to make, especially with baseball films having virtually no appeal outside of the U.S.

We got our hands on the Soderbergh draft, and it's about as bad as others have said. Gone, thankfully, is the Beane-as-dork-Messiah stuff. Soderbergh's Beane is more of a proxy for the audience this time — Bud Fox meets Crash Davis, as they say in Hollywood — and in his script, Moneyball is more of a Beane-Paul DePodesta buddy movie, which maybe makes some sense when you imagine Brad Pitt and Demetri Martin in those roles. Maybe.

The script was probably doomed from its second page, from which the above image was taken. Here's Soderbergh's disclaimer:

Billy Beane's minor and major league career will be shown via filmed interviews with scouts, coaches, managers, players, and family members who were with him at the time. These interviews will comprise approximately ten percent of the film.

Another ten percent of the film will consist of re-enactments of real events as remembered by the people playing themselves. The purpose of these scenes will be to provide set-up and perspective for subjects, situations, or relationships which currently appear in the screenplay without the requisite/normal amount of context.

All that is to say an important portion of this film will be written in the editing room. This isn't a cop-out; it's just a fact, and entirely by design.

That sounds an awful lot like, "Yes, this script sucks. But trust me. I made The Limey." It was probably at this point that Amy Pascal, the Sony executive, optioned the script to the bottom of her coffee mug. Even though it was five days from shooting and Sony had already sunk $10 million dollars into the film, Pascal pulled the plug. The movie is now in limbo. The studio would presumably still make the Zaillian version if they could find a director, but would likely lose Brad Pitt if Soderbergh walks. And the current talent is free to take the project somewhere else, but no one is biting, because that brings us all back to the original argument, "Why anyone make a movie about this?" Maybe Scott Hatteberg is really big overseas?

(Additional Soderbergh script reveals, information by Tommy Craggs.)

Sony's Amy Pascal speaks out about 'Moneyball' [Los Angeles Times, via Gawker]
What happened to...Moneyball? [ScriptShadow]
Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script

Oscar winners Olympia Dukakis and Brenda Fricker will star in a new film about two old lesbians who break out of a nursing home and go on a road trip. This is expected to be summer 2010 tentpole programming for Universal, which is hoping for a franchise. What this says for Fox's similarly-themed big-budget summer film Me & Henry, about Hal Holbrook and Philip Bosco being gay together, remains to be seen. [Variety]

The marvelous Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Christina Applegate have joined Drew Barrymore and Justin Long in the romantical comedy Going the Distance. They'll play the best friend/snarky sibling characters, obviously. New Line is hoping to add some box office oomph by asking the screenwriter to pen in a subplot about Blythe Danner and Lynn Cohen going to sex parties. [THR]

Speaking of It's Always Sunny..., FX has announced their fall premiere dates. Sunny will premiere September 17th at 10pm, the same day that NBC rolls out their Thursday night laff line-up (sans 30 Rock). So, a funny night! [Variety]

Columbus Circle, a movie co-written by Kevin Pollack, lurches into motion. The film is about Selma Blair being a hermited New York heiress who is interviewed by detective Giovanni Ribisi after there's a murder in her building. Amy Smart and Jason Lee play new neighbors. So, that sounds like a movie that could have been made ten years ago. [THR]

Oh, another box office smash! Annette Bening and Julianne Moore are set to play lesbian parents whose two kids, Mia Wasikowska from In Treatment and Josh Hutcherson from Bridge to Terabithia, go in search of their sperm donor papa in The Kids are All Right. He turns out to be Mark Ruffalo, and hilarity and awkwardness ensue. This will probably open against James Ivory's boffo new picture, Lady with a Lapdog, an adaptation of the Chekhov short story starring Phyllida Law. In this version, everyone's gay. [Variety]

ABC has picked up an internationally-produced show about astronauts starring Ron Livingston. The thing was actually pitched at one point as "Grey's Anatomy in space". So. A couple days ago we learned about that Canadian show Coppers that was picked up for distribution by ABC. It was described as Grey's Anatomy about rookie cops. Basically, everything is Grey's Anatomy and foreign. That's your new TV, folks. Enjoy it. [THR]

Oh, and remakes! Also there are remakes. Sci Fi, oh excuse me Syfy, is trying its hand at yet another gritty retelling of a cheesy story. They'll be rebooting Alien Nation, that 1980s series about cops and aliens named Sam Francisco. It would be an alien procedural. It'll also have to compete, someday theoretically, with V, another remount that ABC is doing in the fall. Hey, TV! We have ideas for shows that are new! Come talk to us! [Variety]

1) "These two brothers are both successful actors. However, one has always had more success than the other, as well as the financial rewards that come with that. While they act chummy when you catch them together in front of the cameras, behind the scenes, resentment has been boiling. When one brother found out the other was auditioning for a role he really wanted himself, he arranged a fake emergency so the brother wouldn't be able to make it to the audition on time, and showed up in his place." [BlindGossip]

Rumors have been swirling since Variety first reported last week that Soderbergh's vision for the film differed dramatically from the vision studio executives had for the film, but up to this point no one associated with the project has been willing to speak on the record about it.

But yesterday Sony's Amy Pascal, the studio executive in charge of the film, spoke to the LA Times' Patrick Goldstein. According to Pascal, what it all boiled down to was essentially simple—The studio loved screenwriter Steven Zaillian's original adaptation of Lewis' book, while Soderbergh felt the script lacked authenticity and rewrote it himself, making radical changes that Pascal and the studio weren't willing to gamble on, fearful that Soderbergh would turn it into an "artsy" film like Solaris or Schizopolis, especially when baseball movies traditionally don't do well at the box office outside of the United States. Soderbergh was insistent that everything in the movie had to have happened in real life.

Reports Goldstein:

Some changes to Zaillian's script were subtle, others were dramatic. At one point, Beane signs Scott Hatteberg, a journeyman catcher with a bad arm whom Bean can get for peanuts and turn into a first baseman. Beane loves Hatteberg's ability to get on base, but his staff is appalled — he just can't turn anyone into a slick-fielding first baseman overnight. In Zaillian's script, one of the coaches watches Hatteberg taking ground balls at a Little League field, his wife armed with a plastic laundry basket full of baseballs. She hits the balls to her husband off a tee, with their 4-year-old daughter backing him up down the line. One ball takes a bad hop and goes between Hatteberg's legs. When his daughter scoops it up, the coach quips: "Maybe we should sign her."

Soderbergh cut out the joke because it was the screenwriter's invention — the coach had never actually said it. He also cut out a scene where Beane gives a tongue-lashing to Jason Giambi, one of his departing free agents, again because it didn't actually happen. Zaillian's script was anchored by on-screen monologues by Bill James, the oddball guru of modern-day baseball statistics (who today works in the Boston Red Sox front office). James functioned as a Greek chorus for the film, offering wry, Yoda-like explanations about the complexity of the game.

Zaillian's deft renditions of James' maxims were funny and always to the point, allowing the audience the opportunity to see inside the game. In one monologue, James says: "If you score three runs and the other team scores four, you can be inspired as all hell but you still lost. The numbers represent the ineluctable sum of victories and defeats, and that cannot be made one iota larger or smaller than it is by PR campaigns, personal animosities or any of the greater and lesser forms of B.S." But in Soderbergh's draft, the James material had all vanished, presumably to be replaced by interviews with Beane's real-life associates.

At a "summit" held after Soderbergh turned in his draft of the script, he reportedly pleaded "trust me" to the Sony executives, who were obviously unwilling to do so. Besides Pitt, the film was also set to star comedian Demetri Martin as well as former ballplayers Darryl Strawberry, Mookie Wilson, David Justice and Lenny Dykstra, but Soderbergh's unrelenting zeal for authenticity proved to be the project's demise.

Bob Costas would be proud.

As for Michael Lewis, he seems unfazed by the developments with the film version of his book, telling MSNBC recently, "I don't understand why they bought it for a movie in the first place."

Sony's Amy Pascal Speaks Out About Moneyball [LA Times]
Image via Vulture

Apparently some LA-based flack named Charmaine Blake, "the most famous publicist," is on a date right now with Cliff Clavin from Cheers and couldn't resist blasting out a poorly written press release under the table on her Blackberry.

Poor John Ratzenberger. He's probably trying to put the pieces of his life back together after his ex-girlfriend was almost inspired by a country song to set his car on fire, and now he's on a date with the craziest, drunkest, most publicity-hungry publicist in town. She also has a blog, which is always a sure sign of mental instability.

This is why LA sucks!

via Alex Blagg's Tumblr

Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel was there, though.

Danielle Staub On "All My Children" [SoapNet]

Sample Carey "jabs":

"You're so lame....Ooh boy, why you so obsessed with me? Ohh finally found a girl that you couldn't impress/Last man on the earth/still couldn't get this."

Between MTV's Bruno stunt and Mariah's doppelganger performance, it looks like Eminem has become more participant/victim of celebrity pranks than actually well you know, doing anything.

And some men too! Men like firefighters and farmers and gay men on Venice Beach. But, yeah, mostly it's women. They love the fashions and the challenges and how Tim is fun and gay and how Heidi is weird and German. You hear that, other women? You really should be watching this show when it comes back, because Lifetime hasn't ruined it, as so many feared it would! No no no, they've just made it more womanly.

We know Lifetime has to make a big push to get people to watch the damn show because they spent so much money stealing it from Bravo and now it's been off the air forever and everyone's forgotten about it, but this is just unfortunate.

The meeting—with White House advisers but not, mercifully, Obama himself—was ostensibly about "soliciting ideas for selling [Obama's] public service message." But because Silverman is unctuous and gross, it was really about getting press, and the appearance of a White House impramatur, for The Philanthropist, which Silverman bought without seeing a pilot and which the Miami Herald's Glenn Garvin says "may be worst show ever."

Silverman went to the White House with The Philanthropist's producer Tom Fontana and its star James Purefoy. Because he exactly the kind of guy who would call you from the White House to say "Dude, guess where I am right now!", he called Cindy Adams to say, "Dude, guess where I am right now!":

From his cellphone in the White House East Reception Room, Silverman told me:

"We're responding to Obama's request to bring the entertainment industry into White House initiatives."

Which, basically, means what?

"Nixon established an Office of Public Liaison. Such public engagement now will help the president's outreach to Hollywood to spread his message of science, education, math, technology, engineering and public service. We're committed to getting young people engaged, and our new summer drama will encompass these story lines."

Yes, that's right, The Philanthropist is "encompassing" the White House's "story lines."

Ben Silverman is an awful person who makes shitty TV and is about to get fired by Jeff Zucker, an even worse person who also makes shitty TV. Barack Obama's White House was supposed to be all about Camelot Revisited, with poets and philosophers roaming the halls and dancing with one another to jazz and wearing tuxedos. The man who staked his network on trying to hire Rod Blagojevich to hang out with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is an obscene intrusion into that noble vision. Now he's probably running around talking about "my friend Barry Obama" and pitching the White House on Michelle Obama doing a "Now You Know" PSA—maybe about organic food? We could partner with Whole Foods!

Mr. President, this man is beneath you. Let him, and all his awful television shows, go away quietly.

Having never viewed an episode of this show until last week, and now having watched about a half dozen of them, I'm starting to really like how boring and tense the show always is, because that actually seems to be the Gosselins' reality...which is rare for a reality show.

1. ABC asks "Could Better CPR have saved Michael Jackson?" Answer: Probably.

2. After Intense Attention, Coverage of Michael Jackson's Death Begins Receding And the Associated Press covered the coverage of coverage.

3. Michael Jackson, The Bookworm The LATimes examines the death of Jocko, bibliophile. Really. (Another score from the LATimes: Brett Ratner on Michael Jackson: 'You Felt Like God Was Within Him')

4. Jackson's Body Returns to Neverland courtesy of TMZ, the guys who broke the story. And a more true thing has never been said.

5. And of course the LAWeekly buys "the DailyMichaelJackson.com" to replace Nikki Finke.

And the most over-the-top traffic-bait award goes to Contactmusic.com for:

Jackson Fans Commit Suicide.

Gary Taylor, president and owner of MJJcommunity.com, says, "I know there has been an increase (in deaths), I now believe the figure is 12. It is a serious situation that these people are going through but Michael Jackson would never want this. He would want them to live.

Word.

Congrats to everyone who played! You're all winners!

Halem, who looks like your average middle class white dude (see pic) is adamantly "not bitter" that he can't survive solely as a journalist, states, "If I wanted to destroy my life, I wanted it to be for something I knew I could sell." Yo society, there's something not quite right when, after an education of $100K-plus, one of the few available job opportunities for an aspiring writer (and maybe even for Twitter itself) is selling something called "Blackberry Kush."

The @artistscollctve Twitter account went up last week and, in the vein of a more #420 friendly Kogi BBQ, the medical marijuana delivery service also boasts "On-Time GPS" and the availability of "green crack." Artists for Access is a "creative non-profit" operating under something called a 501 3c non-profit license, "as far as the law is concerned, we're good."

Technically legal in California, Halem's dicey business model is legit from a state standpoint, but not federally. You can't just call up an get a bag, but knowing the multitudes of dodgy loopholes that exist in the CA medical marijuana policy (i.e. insomnia counts) it's probably not that hard to score a prescription. Line up your doctor's notes ASAP! Because this opportunity may not (probably won't) last.

The Invention of Lying, which Gervais co-wrote and co-directed with Matthew Robinson, looks pretty funny and absurdist and sports a bogglingly good cast—Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Christopher Guest, Tina Fey, Martin Starr, Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Lowe, Patrick Stewart, Stephanie March, John Hodgman, and Louis C.K., among others. Ridiculous.

Inglourious Basterds will be bloody good bloody fun. We're especially liking Mike Myers' gonzo Brit in this trailer.

Hm... While The Box has an interesting concept, our faith in Richard Kelly is a bit rattled after Southland Tales. Now, that movie definitely had its merits (that whole virtuoso Justin TImberlake/"All These Things That I've Done" sequence chief among them), but in sum it was a muddled mess. The trailer for this picture begins promisingly (if you can forgive Cameron Diaz's brutal accent) with a creepy, fable-like setup, but then devolves into watery, ugly CGI and we start to worry. Also, does the presence of James Marsden mean he's on the leading-mean up and up, or does it mean that this is a schlocky B-horror film? Sadly, we kinda think it's the latter.

HOLY SHIT. This is a sentence: "The also-untitled Chilli project will follow the singer as she enlists the help of relationships expert Tionna Smalls to find love." Like, our old friend Tionna Smalls? Holy shit. Oh, that's about a new VH1 reality show with the TLC chick Chilli. There's another show about Pepa Denton, from Salt 'n Pepa. Man, the world is reeling right now. In a good way. [Variety]

Oh God. Amy Adams has joined the cast of that Mark Wahlberg/Christian Bale boxing picture directed by Darren Aronofsky, The Fighter. She'll play "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender and former college high-jumper from Massachusetts". And you know what that means, folks? Another bad, strained Boston accent. Adams is a great actress but "tough" and "gritty" she is nawt. Did anyone see What Doesn't Kill You? Holy hell, that thing was a maudlin disaster. Amanda Peet had a decent accent though. But what's with the Boston fetishism? I'm all for movies made in my beloved hometown, but "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender"? Well, she'd better look like Beverly D'Angelo on a bad day and be cranking Newport butts 'cause otherwise, I won't believe it. [THR]

Speaking of faux grit, Mariska Hargimammy and Chris Meloni have signed on for more work as detectives Rapey and McLoosecannon on Law & Order: SVU. They'll stick around for at least two more seasons, making about $400,000 a week. Christine Lahti is going to guest for a few episodes, which is great, and Stephanie March will be back for ten episodes, which is also great. I really like this show, even though it is ridiculous and those paychecks listed above make me want to claw my eyes out. The world is off kilter my friends. [Variety]

Oh no! Unstoppable, that movie about a runaway train headed towards chemicals, might be derailed. Or stopped! Or any of the other wordplay things you can do! Chemicals! Denzel Wershington and Christina Pine were to star and Tony Scott was to shake a camera around and confuse everyone direct, but now budgetary concerns are halting its progress. See, star-driven stuff like Tony and Denzel's The Taking of Weird Numbers Train, also about a train, didn't do well. Mostly it's because no one likes John Travolta anymore, but Denzel will still get blamed. This is a tragedy for these multi, multi, multimillionaires. [THR]

Aw, Chris Kattan has something to do now. The rubber-faced Saturday Night Live actor will costar in a new series called The Middle, a single-cam ABC show about a Midwestern car saleswoman, played by Patricia Heaton. It will be a fun two episodes before it gets canceled. [THR]

Eight and a half million people watched something called Princess Protection Program on the Disney Channel on Friday. Sadly, and inexplicably, I was not one of them. Seriously, Richard? You didn't even know this was on? Even though Selena Gomez, whom you hate, was in it, and you have seen A Cinderella Story 2? Disaster. I'm losing it in my old age. [Variety]

Oh, terrific. Dimension is planning a remake of An American Werewolf in London, because of TwinkyTwinkleLight probably. Let's just hope that Tom Everett Scott stays far, far away from this one. [THR]

1) "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [NYDN]

2) "This foreign born C+/B- list mostly movie actor with one very famous television role loves using the "N" word because he thinks it makes him look cool. This lasted about ten minutes on the set of of one of his very recent movies. Upon hearing it, his co-star and fellow C+/B- list mostly movie actor punched our foreign born actor and knocked him out cold. He didn't use the term again the entire movie." [CDaN]

3) "This young couple turned a work relationship into a romance. There is lots of paparazzi evidence of the two spending their off-screen time together. So there was naturally a considerable amount of buzz when the actor was seen shopping alone for a very beautiful and rather expensive piece of jewelry. A few weeks later, the jewelry was spied being worn… by another actress on the same production. Oops. It looks like the couple we all think is a couple isn't very exclusive." [BlindGossip]

Obviously the Michael Jackson story is big news, and the man's father has a right to say what he wants about his dead son, but the twinkly gleam in his eye as he revels in the press attention just chills our blood a little bit, the record company plug being the cherry on top.

Sad that even in death, MJ still isn't free of his scary father.

Earlier: Watch Joe Jackson Stoically Use His Son's Death to Plug a DVD

Video clip probably NSFW, BTW!

It's so hard to tell about the general quality of the show, glamored as we were by director Alexander Payne's reliably gentle/tough hand and the nimble work of Jane Adams, as Thomas Jane's pimp, who is one of Hollywood's most criminally underused actors. She gave a fine, nuanced, weird performance last night—spanning from sexual ecstasy to untethered artist sadness to hard-minded pragmatist with natural ease. And Payne's details—his close-ups, his visual aesthetic that's both warm and chilly—provided such a lovely backdrop for this kind of pleasingly lived-in acting.

But Thomas Jane? Hm. He's always been such a conundrum. He was maybe going to break out and be big after The Sweetest Thing and The Punisher and then it just fizzled into nowhere. And he's got that curious face, that bashed-up maybe-handsome, maybe-too-unfocused set of features that can be manly and attractive one minute, and then sort of sad and grizzled the next. It works mostly to his favor, we think, in the role of Ray Drecker, a washed-up high school coach who, in his youth, had a string of opportunities that never panned out (hey... sounds familiar!). Anne Heche ably plays his angry, moved-on wife in a part that could either stay shrill or round out to something unlikable, sure, but undeniably compelling in its true-to-life humanity (see: Nikki Grant on Big Love).

So we like it OK. But we're definitely not in love. We're trying to remember the last time a TV pilot grabbed us and demanded further viewing. Didn't happen for True Blood or, hell, even Big Love. What about over on Showtime? We're sorta liking Nurse Jackie, but it's really only for the same reason as Hung: a wonderful performance by a lead actress amid a sea of other, murkier things. In the case of Nurse Jackie: What the hell were they thinking casting that guy as Jackie's husband? He's like twenty years younger and belongs in some indie about softly strumming guitars in a sparsely-furnished New York apartment, not playing the borough-dwelling owner of a local dive bar. Also, Anna Deavere Smith is sort of embarrassing herself with jokey-joke cameos as a stern hospital administrator. And while Eve Best is a terrific actress, we're not sure that her hyperbolic character—bitchy blase rich Englishwoman doctor with a boatload of Blahniks but no love for children—belongs alongside Falco's more dependably "real" Jackie.

Both of these shows have promise, and we'll stick with them, but we're disappointed that we're not more excited. Not everything can be The Sopranos or Mad Men where we're hooked like suckers from the very beginning, but watching a show out of duty or some pretentious high-minded ideal that this is Good Television starts to feel like work after a while.

Why God why?, you may ask. Well, there's just always been something beguiling about Ms. Morissette—her odd, alien-like Canadianism, her sad, wistful eyes—that we just like on screen. Anyway, here's a picture of her as Nancy's new gynecologist. Exciting.

And, hey, there are other musicians we'd like to act more. They include:

Mos Def
While pretty much every rapper decides to act at some point, Def is one of the few that can actually act. He even got credit for his stage chops, appearing in Suzan-Lori Parks' very difficult play Topdog/Underdog on Broadway in 2002. And, OK, so Def studied theater at NYU and has been acting professionally since he was a kid, but still, for a while there he was much better known as a musician than an actor, so it still sort of counts.

Macy Gray
Did you see her all weird and crazy in Training Day? Wasn't it fun? We need more of that. Sure there aren't that many parts that a raspy crazed bumblebee like Gray can actually play, but c'mon, there are enough movies that call for raspy crazed bumblebees to at least make acting a funny side-career. Will she play a bee to someone else's spider in Mama Black Widow?

Courtney Love
Speaking of crazy people. Though Love's personal life has taken a turn south over the past, oh fifteen years or so, she's fairly magnetic on screen. She did really nice work in The People vs. Larry Flynt and Man on the Moon and, hell, wasn't bad in that otherwise-bad thriller Trapped. She's rumored to be in some upcoming comedy called Mother's Little Helpers, so hopefully that's something.

Jack White
Was pleasant and poised in