The government shutdown is upon us, and your crack team here at Defamer (me, sorry) is here to help you figure out what that means for the people that matter most: Hollywood!

For starters, you (fine, again, me) can stop calling it "White House Down." And to answer your next question, no, it will not be like The Purge. I mean, in theory, you could do that to your neighbors I guess, but police departments are still operational so you'd probably get arrested. (Though perhaps not a bad time to invest in a little ADT Home Security in case you live near a crazy person who really loves Ethan Hawke.)

So how will this affect America? In a very serious number of ways: Any non-essential government worker will be sent home, with no guarantee of retroactive post-shutdown pay; the Veterans Board will be able to do little more than keep their hospitals open; Washington D.C. will lose about $200 million in economic activity each day the shutdown carries on; and you're not getting that gun permit pushed through anytime soon, no matter how much Ann Coulter whines.

But who cares about those paper pushers. How does this affect Hollywood? Variety took a closer look at this dire situation:

  • Film permits for shooting at national parks may not be issued.
  • Visa processing is going to be slower—but not halted—for studios that are working with international actors that would need work visas.
  • The National Association of Theatre Owners may not be able to lobby Congress about that annoying little Affordable Care Act provision that would require health care to be extended to workers who put in 30 hours, instead of the current 40-hour mandate. (If you read between the lines, yes, people like this are half the reason we're IN a shutdown right now, and why your dumb indie film is going to have relocate to the fire hydrant on your block instead of the geysers at Yellowstone.)

See? Life in Hollywood isn't all cold pressed juice and Wednesday nights at the Roosevelt pool. We have real problems too. America, fuck yeah.

[Image via YouTube]